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November 11, 2014 by: Shell

Kindness Will Last: Pour Your Heart Out

Be kind.

To each other, to everyone you come into contact with.

It’s important to me to teach this to my kids.

kind

I want to raise kind children who grow up into kind adults.

It might sound a little crazy, but being kind is more important to me than what grades they get in school or how well they perform out on a sports field.

Because we all want our kids to succeed, right? To be on the honor roll and get awards for their grades that will later translate into college scholarships. Or to outperform everyone on the playing field, get recognition, and even more college scholarships.

That college scholarship part is sounding pretty good, especially since I have three kids. And really, I want them to try their best and hopefully that does translate into doing well academically and/or athletically. It’s not something to completely dismiss; I do teach my boys to work hard. It’s something we value.

But kindness? That’s ranked way up there in what I expect from my kids.

Maybe right now, the best player on the soccer team or the child with the top scores in class are the ones who get a lot of recognition and make their parents proud.

But, think about after you got out of school: does anyone ask you for your grades? And unless you’re part of the tiny percentage of people who play sports professionally, how many baskets you made in some rec basketball league when you were a kid means exactly squat.

In general, in 10 years (or 20, depending on how old your kids are), none of them are going to be playing sports competitively or worried about grades any more. But in 10 years, what will matter is how your then-grown kids treat people.

It’s why I might be happy for one of my boys when he plays the best soccer game he’s ever played, showing that he’s really improving, but what makes my heart bursts with pride is seeing that same child stop when a child from the other team was knocked flat out on the field and helps her get up, making sure she’s okay.

That pause didn’t do anything to help the team, but it did show his heart.

When he’s all grown up, I’d rather he be the person who takes the time to show a little kindness than the one who stepped over someone going after something that doesn’t even matter.

JOIN IN POUR YOUR HEART OUT

pour your heart out Click if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Linking up? Please visit at least two of the linkers and show them some support in the form of a comment or a share!



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Comments

  1. momof12 says

    November 12, 2014 at 3:32 am

    I think kindness is one of the most important things! The world would be a better place if everyone would be just a little nicer to their neighbor and a little more tolerant of strangers.
    Sandy

    • Shell says

      November 12, 2014 at 11:47 pm

      I agree. Kindness would make more of a difference than more athletes or straight A’s.

  2. Julia says

    November 12, 2014 at 7:41 am

    Posts like these are why we are friends, I love this and I agree with all my heart. It’s so much more important to me that Jack be kind, be a good friend, treat others well than any of the other stuff.

    • Shell says

      November 12, 2014 at 11:48 pm

      xo I knew you’d get it.

      I’m always proud of my boys’ accomplishments, but when they do something especially kind, my heart swells.

  3. Kimberly says

    November 12, 2014 at 8:10 am

    I cannot agree with you more. Being kind is contagious. Think about how on a bad day, someone held the door open for you. Such a small act but to you, on that cruddy day, that made a difference to you.
    It all starts with us. We shape their minds at a young age and we do so when they grow. It is so important to not only teach them, but to model what you are teaching them.
    PS. That picture is adorable!

    • Shell says

      November 12, 2014 at 11:49 pm

      Just one little thing can make a big difference.

      And thanks- it’s one of my favorite pics. I wish I’d thought to move the junk out of the background, but I had to capture that moment of the two of them.

  4. Allison B says

    November 12, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    Yes and yes! I want my kids to be kind. I find that it’s easier for them to be kind to others than their siblings. We are working on kindness at home right now.

    • Shell says

      November 12, 2014 at 11:50 pm

      Oh, for sure! Mine can fight like crazy. Though I’ve also noticed that when it comes to defending each other against someone else, they put all that sibling rivalry aside and stand up for each other.

  5. Elaine A. says

    November 12, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    Oh yes, THIS. Absolutely! You’re such a good example and mom, Shell! xo

    • Shell says

      November 12, 2014 at 11:51 pm

      I’ve been accused of being a bit hippy-dippy in my thinking, that I should want them to be successful instead. But I want both… and if I have to choose, I’ll take just the kindness because it’s what really matters.

  6. Denise says

    November 12, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    Totally agree. Kindness and compassion are what this world needs more of and should be at the top of every parents’ list of what to instill in their kids.

    • Shell says

      November 12, 2014 at 11:52 pm

      Yet because there aren’t trophies and awards for it, the other stuff seems to be placed at a higher level of importance for some.

  7. Anna Hettick says

    November 13, 2014 at 7:48 am

    Oh I get this. So, so much!

  8. Molly says

    November 14, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    I have always felt like more kindness in this world would go a long way to solve some of the problems. I want to teach this in my children. It’s been kind of tough lately but I know that laying that foundation while they’re young is so important.

  9. sisters from another mister says

    November 15, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    I wonder what the children are learning … be more, do more, be better, be faster, smarter …
    but the world forgets to teach them about being good, being caring … being kind.

    • Shell says

      November 21, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      Yes, it’s all about what awards and accolades they have to show off. Instead of what kind of people they are. I’m trying not to be that way.

  10. Alison says

    November 16, 2014 at 2:14 am

    YES! I’m a kindness advocate. In everyone. Definitely in kids and most definitely my own. Kindness DOES make the world a better place.

  11. julie gardner says

    November 16, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    My kids are 15 and 17, in their sophomore and junior years of high school.
    Their grades TOTALLY matter right now for college.

    But I would much rather they be completely kind people than straight A students.
    Kindness to others breeds happiness in ourselves. I believe it.

    Whatever university they might attend will make a difference in their future – jobs, friends, where they live; but how the treat others will make the difference in their happiness. Forever.

    • Shell says

      November 21, 2014 at 6:24 pm

      That is a stressful time for grades! I always want mine to do their best. But I want to make sure they are good, kind kids who turn into kind adults. (In a perfect world, they’d be kind genius athletes, but if I had to pick just one…. 😉 )

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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