It’s Not All About How You Parent

You can be a super laid-back mom who calmly tells your kids to do their best, shrugging off the results as long as you know they tried.

The type who doesn’t know the score of a game.

Or maybe you know your child’s standing but it doesn’t mean anything to you.

You’re just happy to see your kids out there trying.

You can be that mom and still have a super competitive child.

One who always knows the score of the game, who knows exactly what place he’s in. One who hates to lose, who hates to be anything but the best.

A child who gets upset when he doesn’t set a new personal record every time.

Who isn’t comforted by anyone telling him how good he did, when he isn’t happy with that performance. Even though, by anyone else’s perspective, he really and truly did a fantastic job.

But he’s only proud of himself if he met or exceeded the high expectations he set for himself.

And while there’s nothing wrong with having high expectations, he has to understand that he can’t always be the best. That everyone has an off day. Or that he needs to look realistically at how he did, not through the lens of wanting to win it all. But it’s really hard for him to do.

I am that mom, the one who wants to encourage their kids to do their best, but doesn’t send the message that that has to mean being the best. Just ask two of my three kids, they’ll tell you.

But that third- he doesn’t really care what I have to say about it. He has his own goals.

Part of me wants to admire his drive… part of me might even actually admire it. But I hate how hard he is on himself.

Especially since he always does a good job. Maybe he’s not the best every time, but he still does his best, pushing himself hard.

But that’s how he’s wired.

And whether it’s with how competitive they are or some other personality trait, it’s really not all about how you parent- kids will still be who they are.