It is what it is.
I simultaneously despise that phrase and live by it.
Sometimes I do have a good cry just to get all that emotion out, but then I try to move on.
If I can do something to change an outcome or change the path I’m on… I will fight like hell to change it. Even if there’s only a tiny little chance that something can be done, I’ll still try.
But once it’s over and nothing can be done, I try to figure out if there’s anything that can be done differently the next time, learn from it(if there is something to learn- some situations are just randomly sucky and you can’t do much to prevent them again, short of deciding it’s a good idea to live in a bubble), and then move on.
It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that sometimes there truly is nothing I can do. And I need my energy for other things, so I don’t waste it freaking out when that’s not going to help.
When I said “It is what it is” and literally shrugged it off, the look on one of my neighbors’ faces when she came over to deliver some news was priceless. She was telling me that *shudder* one of the houses in our neighborhood, where a little boy lives whom one of my boys often plays with, had bedbugs. A bad infestation. I think she expected me to freak out, as another of our neighbors had. But we either had them or we didn’t. It’s not like I could do anything in that moment to change it. (No bedbugs here, thank goodness)
I shrug off my boys’ ball game scores, win or lose. As long as they’re practicing, doing the best they can, and getting better, whether they won or lost doesn’t bother me (screaming fans who forget this is kids who are playing- harder to shrug off- maybe because there is something I could do about them. I might get punched doing so, but it’s not completely out of my control.)
At this point in the school year (three days left!!!), I calmly take any news of how my boys are doing. Two of them have had fantastic years but it’s been a challenging year for a variety of reasons for my third. And while I tried to help, get things changed, and had an awful lot to say during the rest of the year, and have been very vocal about what is needed next year, nothing is going to change right now. So it’s pretty much a miracle I didn’t write “whatever” on his last progress report. “Whatever” is a word that bothers me- so dismissive and usually rude(like telling someone F&@# You without actually saying it)- but that’s where I am- I’m over it, it is what it is, so bring it on, summertime.
This weekend, we had some things stolen out of our cars while they were parked in our driveway. Including my purse with my IDs, credit card, and some important medical papers for one of my boys. The credit card was canceled before it was used and I’m on my way to replacing everything else(except for the purse- it was an anniversary present from my husband and not something I can just quickly replace, since I usually just grab whatever purse is on clearance at Target). I’ll admit to being completely annoyed over the medical stuff and the hoops I had to jump through to get it replaced(not easy when you don’t have a photo ID). And I’m angry with myself for leaving my purse out there for whatever random reason when I usually don’t… and I’m still sort of hopeful that whoever took it will have a crisis of conscience and return it(or have a parent find it and make them return it if it was a kid)… I do not have a time machine to be able to go back and bring my purse inside, so really, what can I do?
I realize the bedbugs and car break ins make it sound like I live in a terrible neighborhood. I don’t- it’s usually so quiet here. Though I’m betting this will restart my husband’s campaign to get me to move to the other side of town. Can’t stop that, either- that it is what it is, too.
I’m not a quitter. I do fight when there’s even the teeniest glimmer of hope of changing something, but when there isn’t… That’s when I go into planning for what needs to be done next since I can’t change the past. It is what it is.
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