Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Inspired by the Big Bang Theory

I give you my resolutions for 2010(if you don’t watch The Big Bang Theory, you will just think that I’m a total dork with my titles….but I am one, so that’s okay)

The Ponytail Paradigm: Unless I am actually on my way to or from the gym, I am NOT to wear a ponytail outside of the house. My hair does not look fabulous when I try to rock a pony. This rule is in conjunction with:

The Sweatpants Sublimation: same rules- no gym, no sweatpants outside of the house.

Are you beginning to wonder how many times I will now leave the house with the intention of going to the gym and then not actually get there? You know me so well.

Jammies Juxtaposition: Self and boys will be out of jammies every day by 9am. No lounging in jammies just because we aren’t going anywhere on a particular day. *Sweats are allowed here, as long as I am not leaving the house.

Bookworm Effect: 52 books this year. 1 a week, totally doable.

Butter Postulate: I love butter. When that line came in the movie Julie and Julia: “Is there anything better than butter? Think it over, any time you taste something that’s delicious beyond imagining and you say ‘what’s in this?’ the answer is always going to be butter. The day there is a meteorite rushing toward Earth and we have thirty days to live, I am going to spend it eating butter. Here is my final word on the subject: you can never have too much butter.”: Well,I cheered, LOUDLY. Luckily, I was watching it in the privacy of my own home and not in the theater- though I doubt that would have stopped me. BUTter, I’m going to rethink recipes that call for a stick or more of butter due to the following:

Ass Conjecture: that’s right, my ass is growing(see my love of butter, above). I’ve gained TEN pounds in the past two months. My goal is to lose ten pounds by July and then reassess.

*All resolutions are null and void on days when Shell or one or more of her children, including Hubs, is sick. Holidays are also excluded from enforcement. And if Shell should become pregnant, despite Hubs’ snipping, all bets are off.

But, wish me luck!

In case you are wondering about my track record with resolutions, here are my two from last year and how I did with those:

#1- To STOP some of my volunteer work. I know this sounds really odd to most of you, but I did A LOT. And it sucked me dry and left nothing for the rest of my life. Particularly running the moms’ group for my church. Fucking exhausting. Yes, the person who ran the moms’ ministry says “fucking exhausting.” You’d understand if you were there. Or maybe you wouldn’t- the meetings always seemed to run effortlessly, thanks to the insane amount of work I put into them. I did cut back and I’m much saner because of it.

#2- To read 104 book in a year(2 per week). I actually had 91 read by the end of October. Then, we moved and I didn’t get a library card(I’m cheap, people!) and I got sucked into the world of reading all your blogs instead. So, I ended the year with a whopping total of 99. Close, but didn’t make it.

Comments

  2. I think reading the blogs counts as reading books…dont you?? 🙂 Good luck on your resolutions – I think you will do great! 🙂

  3. I love that you have aspirations for the new year and also reflections about things that you'll do to lighten the load a bit. Brilliant.

    A Happy New Year to you and yours!!!

  4. Good luck on losing that 10 pounds this year! I'm sure you'll make your book resolution goal this year, very doable! I ready 67 last year. Here's a hint: if you get behind, pick some kids books to read or young adult–they tend to go VERY fast! "Nubs" is a great book about a Marine and his dog but it's short with lots of pictures. Good story though. Just a little tip for you.

    Visiting from SITS. Happy New Year!

  5. Good luck on losing that 10 pounds this year! I'm sure you'll make your book resolution goal this year, very doable! I ready 67 last year. Here's a hint: if you get behind, pick some kids books to read or young adult–they tend to go VERY fast! "Nubs" is a great book about a Marine and his dog but it's short with lots of pictures. Good story though. Just a little tip for you.

    Visiting from SITS. Happy New Year!

  6. Good luck on losing that 10 pounds this year! I'm sure you'll make your book resolution goal this year, very doable! I ready 67 last year. Here's a hint: if you get behind, pick some kids books to read or young adult–they tend to go VERY fast! "Nubs" is a great book about a Marine and his dog but it's short with lots of pictures. Good story though. Just a little tip for you.

    Visiting from SITS. Happy New Year!

  7. Everyone's talking about resolutions….not so sure I want to set myself up for failure…

  9. I'm totally impressed with you reading 99 books. I should totally enforce the pj rules. My kids hate changing out of them.

  10. Seriously – I'd toss out that list right now if it were mine! I wear a ponytail – EVERY day. It might start all long and flowing but by mid-day, forget it. Get it OFF my neck! Sweats – I spent good$$ on my Juicy sweats and I'm WEARING them! Although, I do love jeans so it's a good alternative. Butter? Yeah, I love butter too. Everything is better with butter. Or cheese. Or fried. Yum.
    Good luck with these! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  11. I had to laugh long and hard on the ponytail and sweats one. I however am not going to go there with resolutions I will not ever keep…but I'm going to cheer you on!

    You go girl!

  12. I have a confession to make. It's almost 10:30am and I'm still in my pj's!! Shhhh…don't tell anyone.

    My hubby and I watched Julie and Julia last night and loved it. We'd been meaning to see it for a while. I agree about the butter. I put 8 tbsps. in my au gratin potatotes last night. They rocked.

  13. I think reading blogs counts. I get sucked into them for hours at a time. Oblivious to the world around me. An example my grandson is talking to me about parades(he is watching the rose parade)I just agree and off he goes. I don't know what I agreed to.
    I lounge in my sweat alot anymore. It is cold and they are warm.

  14. Happy New Year! Great resolutions! To be honest, I'm still in my jammies, but that's because we're not going anywhere until later.

  16. I'm with you on th ewhole rocking a pony tail/sweat thing and I also totally get reining in charity/volunteer work.

    In general, 2009 kicked my ass. Seems like it took me out back of the woodshed and opened a can of whoopass on me every chance it got. I thought I had a good right hook, but it only works, I found, when I actually connected with 2009's jaw, which I didn't. I kept hooking air instead and apparently, pissing it off more. Okay neither of us fought very fair I suppose.

    Anyway, last night I burned down the woodshed and took up peaceful resistance as a possibly viable and nonviolent approach to the New Year. We'll see.

    Happy New Year, mama!

  17. Love your book idea, but that might be a bit ambitious for me. I will try. Good luck with all of your resolutions!

  19. You are Hilarious! I really enjoyed reading your post, AND I LOVE BUTTER TOO! Now if you figure out how to resolve the conflict between Ass Conjecture and Butter Postulate, I will be your fan for life! Happy New Year and thank you for stopping by my site. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

  21. Those are great! Every time I go out in my pj's or sweats I always worry that I will run into and ex-boyfriend or someone from high school or, even worse, Stacy and Clinton are filming me for an upcoming show….I think you are wise in that goal!

    Good luck on the books! Totally doable!

  23. I found you from SITS, and wanted to say I think this is a great post. I agree with Vivianne–if someone could find a way to fix the discrepancy between the Ass Conjecture and Butter Postulate, the world would be a happier place!

    I also think reading blogs should count towards reading goals…I find myself with so many new ones to read now that it could end up getting hard to keep up!

  24. reASSess? lol.

    Good Luck- those all sound doable. for you, not me. I rock a messy bun most days and have been seen at the bus stop in pj pants- and that's AFTER I had already taken my morning shower, lol. I tend to like being comfy. 🙂

  25. I think blog reading totally counts. I spend an awful lot of time reading them!

    I love your disclaimer at the end. Perfect!

  26. Out of jammies by 9am??!!! That's just unnecessary and cruel!!!!!!! Good luck with the rest of your goals though 😉 The 52 books sound so noble a resolution, if only I was inspired to join you…*sigh*

  27. I love the Big Bang Theory & I so need to join you on the whole ponytail/sweatpants thing. Except mine are yoga pants & I have never even thought about doing yoga.

    I can totally understand your thoughts on the volunteer work, especially at church.

  28. I SUCK at resolutions, so I will live vicariously through you, mmmm'kay?!

    I need to lose some weight. Starting tomorrow. Or maybe Monday.

  29. I read so much! I wonder if I start counting now….and keep up with it can I count the 2 I started this past week (2009) and will finish in a day or so (2010)?

    I have NO resolutions this year. I do have wants. Like more exercise, better eating, more bible study…..
    and butter…. Yum. I made oatmeal yesterday and put way to much butter in it but it was so good!.

    Hairs to short to wear a ponytail. I cut it cause I was always wearing a ponytail. I am going to grow it back out though…I love ponies.

  31. 104 books??? That's a LOT! I used to go to the gym pretty much every day. So if I wasn't at work, I was in gym attire. The gym was my excuse to always dress comfortably! I just invested in sexier gym clothes, since I was spending so much time in them.

  32. I am in complete agreement with your addendum. Pregnancy voids any and all resolutions. And, jammies off by 9? You are brave!

  34. I'ma gonna try to relax and dial it back this year. My only 2 resolutions, from which I expect lovely results to emerge. Here's to a wonderful new decade…Happy 2010!

  35. Good luck in the weight loss area! I am with you on the 10lbs!! 🙂 hoping to loose it by summer as well. 🙂 happy new year!

  38. Love it! Of course, butter is the gift that keeps on giving. Makes all food yummy and tasty!
    I was thinking abotu making a rule about no more stayin in my PJs almost all day, but then figured it would be the first to go.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  39. Sounds like you've got some good goals!

    I'm totally with you on the pony tail thing. When my last babe was born I told myself that if I wore my hair in a pony tail more often than not, then I'd get a cute, shorter more sassy cut, which I DID in fact end up doing.

    Now-a-days the hair is longer (though not as long as it was before the afore mentioned cut) and though I don't put it up, I don't really put much effort in the way of styling….hmmm, it may be time for a new 'do' again…!!!

  40. At least you stick with yours for almost the whole year!

    you are allowed to have resolutions… you do em right!

  41. I am totally sure that the only reason you didn't meet you book goal last year had something to do with sick kids/hubs and holidays! 😀

    Happy 20 OH TEN!

  43. I like your goals. They're totally different from most people, so that makes them fun (at least for me, maybe not you.) 😉

    I think you should be writing down these book titles that you read so that we can know what to read and what to avoid. I'm a huge reader too but with blogging, I don't finish them as quickly as I used to. (I'm reading Icy Sparks right now. Have you read that?)

  44. *LOL* Wow 99 books in a year. My family may cast me out if I made that kind of resolution. *L* I love to read and could easily knock off 2 or 3 a week but the rest of house and family suffers. 😉

  45. Good for you all the reading. Library cards do not make you cheap they make you a little greener and less of a clutter bug…That's my take anyway.
    BTW: I did change my babies first diaper at the seat the second one was just too much pooh to do….I'm with you if someone wants to stare at me I'll stare back….Enjoyed reading your blog… SITS to you.

  46. Thanks so much for linking this to my resolution linky! I TOTALLY AGREE with the ponytail paradigm… unfortch, it's the easiest hairstyle for me but I'm SO much happier when I take some time to straighten it and wear it down!

    {and, yes, we watch Big Bang in house… love it!}

  47. I'm impressed that your read 99 books last year as well as cut down on your volunteer hours. I'm also not reading books, but blogs. One day….

  48. Reading is one of my favorite things to do. (Right up there with eating.) I have never kept track of how many books I've read before but I did start this year. If I could stop reading so many blogs….,

    I hope your 2010 is awesome!