I give you my resolutions for 2010(if you don’t watch The Big Bang Theory, you will just think that I’m a total dork with my titles….but I am one, so that’s okay)
The Ponytail Paradigm: Unless I am actually on my way to or from the gym, I am NOT to wear a ponytail outside of the house. My hair does not look fabulous when I try to rock a pony. This rule is in conjunction with:
The Sweatpants Sublimation: same rules- no gym, no sweatpants outside of the house.
Are you beginning to wonder how many times I will now leave the house with the intention of going to the gym and then not actually get there? You know me so well.
Jammies Juxtaposition: Self and boys will be out of jammies every day by 9am. No lounging in jammies just because we aren’t going anywhere on a particular day. *Sweats are allowed here, as long as I am not leaving the house.
Bookworm Effect: 52 books this year. 1 a week, totally doable.
Butter Postulate: I love butter. When that line came in the movie Julie and Julia: “Is there anything better than butter? Think it over, any time you taste something that’s delicious beyond imagining and you say ‘what’s in this?’ the answer is always going to be butter. The day there is a meteorite rushing toward Earth and we have thirty days to live, I am going to spend it eating butter. Here is my final word on the subject: you can never have too much butter.”: Well,I cheered, LOUDLY. Luckily, I was watching it in the privacy of my own home and not in the theater- though I doubt that would have stopped me. BUTter, I’m going to rethink recipes that call for a stick or more of butter due to the following:
Ass Conjecture: that’s right, my ass is growing(see my love of butter, above). I’ve gained TEN pounds in the past two months. My goal is to lose ten pounds by July and then reassess.
*All resolutions are null and void on days when Shell or one or more of her children, including Hubs, is sick. Holidays are also excluded from enforcement. And if Shell should become pregnant, despite Hubs’ snipping, all bets are off.
But, wish me luck!
In case you are wondering about my track record with resolutions, here are my two from last year and how I did with those:
#1- To STOP some of my volunteer work. I know this sounds really odd to most of you, but I did A LOT. And it sucked me dry and left nothing for the rest of my life. Particularly running the moms’ group for my church. Fucking exhausting. Yes, the person who ran the moms’ ministry says “fucking exhausting.” You’d understand if you were there. Or maybe you wouldn’t- the meetings always seemed to run effortlessly, thanks to the insane amount of work I put into them. I did cut back and I’m much saner because of it.
#2- To read 104 book in a year(2 per week). I actually had 91 read by the end of October. Then, we moved and I didn’t get a library card(I’m cheap, people!) and I got sucked into the world of reading all your blogs instead. So, I ended the year with a whopping total of 99. Close, but didn’t make it.