Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

I’m That Mom at the Pool

You know, the one you think is probably too loud. You might even call me a helicopter mom.

I cringe thinking of myself that way.

I do teach my boys what is and is not acceptable behavior. I don’t always keep them on a short leash. They can roam our yard unattended. I can sit on a bench at the playground while they play.

But suddenly, at the pool… I’m THAT mom.

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Because if they go out just a bit too far, they can go under. And even though they’re fairly good swimmers, when you aren’t expecting to go under, you can panic.

And there are so many other kids at the pool.

My boys just want to play around. And like many other kids their age, they can be oblivious to their surroundings, splashing around and not noticing that another child is now behind them, in the splash zone.

It’s a pool… if you are anywhere near the water, you should expect to get some splashes. Not intentionally right in the face, but it’s a pool, you’re going to get wet.

But still, I want my boys to become a little less oblivious and I will point out to them when there’s someone else nearby if they don’t notice at first.

Plus, there are the kids who are think it’s hilarious to splash other kids right in the face, but should they get any of that in return, they’ll start to cry and then their moms, who weren’t paying attention prior to this, will then think they should yell at the kid who splashed theirs back because of course their little darlings didn’t do anything wrong.

Then there’s the whole sharing of the pool toys thing. I let my kids know that if they bring toys to the pool and they leave them lying around, they aren’t allowed to complain if another child picks them up and plays with them. But, I’ve told my kids that they can’t play with someone else’s unless they ask and that really, they shouldn’t need to anyway since we bring our own. But there are other kids who simply rip toys out of kids’ hands… the older ones throwing them into the deep end where my kids can’t go without supervision.

And then there’s running near a pool. Mine know not to. And when other kids are and are encouraging mine to run and jump with them, I do step in. If those kids’ parents don’t say anything, that’s their business, but my kids won’t be cracking their heads on the concrete.

So, yes, I hover. And I probably annoy the parents who sit back and let the mayhem go on without a word from them. But they annoy me just as much.

And at least I know my kids are safe and behaving.

And yes, all of this is why I desperately want our own pool. And I why I prefer the beach.

Comments

  1. You have the same rules we do for pools or beach.  I am trying to step back on my hovering tendencies, but not near water.

    • Other places, I will step back. But water? There’s just so much that can go wrong, quickly.

  2. I’m so with you on that. So with you. We went to the lake this weekend and I was right there with all my boys. Some parents don’t think of the consequences of things you mentioned, until it happens. 

    • And it happens SO fast. When we go to the pool, it’s for the boys to have fun, not for me to relax. 

    • I always say that the first thing we’d splurge on after we won the lottery(after paying off any debt) would be to get our own pool. B/c even though I’d have to still pay attention to my own kids, we wouldn’t have the added distraction and frustration of other people’s kids, unless they were ones we invited over. 

  4. Oh, I’m that mom too. I really am. 
    Water and splashing and children acting like children is always an iffy situation (and  potentially dangerous one) so I don’t mind being that mom. I want my children and everyone else’s to be safe 

    xo

  5. As a teen, I used to be a lifeguard — and it was my job to put a halt to quite a bit of the dangerous (and against the  pool SAFETY rules) behavior you are describing.

    If you haven’t already done so, tell a lifeguard on deck when kids are running (though they should be observant and tell the people knocking toddlers over to knock it off), when big kids are blatantly snatching toys from little kids and throwing them in the deep end, etc.

    • I try to keep an eye on my kids and stop any behaviors they shouldn’t be doing- before the lifeguard needs to step in, since I don’t think they should have to parent my kids. But there are so many who think it’s all okay unless the lifeguard says something. I’m loud enough that the lifeguards hear me. 😉 

  6. My four year old almost drowned this summer. I was three feet away. You CANNOT be too careful around pools. Good for you, Momma, for watching your babies!

    • It’s really terrifying, isn’t it? My 6y/o went under a few weeks ago. I got to him within seconds, but it can happen so quickly.

  7. I commend you mama!! There are too many unsupervised kids at pools these days… absolutely terrifies me to watch kids be so deliberately careless without a parent around to intervene. SO unacceptable. And dangerous!

  8. You do what you have to do to keep your kids safe. The lifeguards shouldn’t have to parent the kids; their eyes should be on the water at all times. I did the same as you do for many years, and now that my youngest is almost 13, I can finally relax a bit!

    • YES! I feel like my kids should never get to the point where a lifeguard has to correct their behavior- that’s my job. If the lifeguard is too busy telling kids they aren’t allowed to hang on the rope or run around the pool or whatever else… they might miss seeing a kid who needs rescuing. 

  9. I’m definitely that mom at the pool! And at the beach. And sometimes even at the splash park at the zoo when it gets too crowded with rough-housing big kids like today. My girls are 2 and 3, and drowning is one of my biggest fears as a parent!

  10. Love that you are Pool Regulator Mom! I do that with my kids, too, and we don’t even swim in a public pool. (My in-laws have one so I get to have 100 mini heart attacks every time they babysit.) Keep being loud!

    • That would probably make me freak out! Sometimes my husband will offer to take the kids to the pool by himself and I get too worked up to let him b/c he’s not as vigilant as I am at the pool. 

  11. HA! I’m that mom, too! I would rather be safe than sorry. Our kids safety is more important than letting them get hurt or having them hurt someone else. Honestly, when kids are running around like a bunch of banshees and a parent doesn’t say anything to them, it’s ridiculous because you KNOW that this isn’t the only place those kids are uncontrollable.

  12. I’m that mom too, even though the pool is in our backyard but it is nice to only be dealing with the people I’ve invited over, feel free to visit anytime. 

    • This is why I keep begging for our own pool- so the other kids are only ones we’d invite. 

  13. I’m that mom too! For so many summers I sat there counting heads and pacing near the side of the pool while I watched about 20 other moms sit back and chit chat. What is that all about? Some have older kids, but some do not and I was amazed at the lack of supervision. Is it because I was once a lifeguard? Do I better understand the dangers of how easily, like you say, a child can slip into the wrong depth or get caught up under another child because they are all so oblivious to what’s around them. Mine are finally getting older and becoming really good swimmers – it is so nice! And them being taller helps a lot! But still no real relaxing for me. Now, the beach, tell me how you are not hovering at the beach? I find the beach FAR more stressful than the pool!

    • It might be the former lifeguard thing. 

      As for the beach, it depends on which one we go to. there’s one that’s more of an inlet and there aren’t waves, it’s an island so they can’t go anywhere. But even if we go where there are waves, I’ll stand by my kids in the water, but when they’re on the sand, they’ve fine just playing. And usually, it’s just my kids, not the added stress of having so many kids all together in a small area. 

  14. When my kids reach the ages your boys are at, I will most definitely be THAT mom too. You just can’t be too safe around bodies of water.