I’ve been watching The Hallmark Channel’s Countdown to Christmas movies pretty obsessively this month. They’re easy movies to put on in the background as I’m doing other things and they’re on all the time (I’m even dvr’ing them, though I probably shouldn’t admit that).
If life went according to Hallmark Christmas movies, here’s what would be true:
It would be easy to find love. Declare you don’t believe in love, go back to your first love, or spend time with someone you consider either a rival/enemy or your total opposite. And there you go, you’ll both be madly in love in no time.
Santa is real. He knows exactly what you really want, even if you think otherwise. He’ll help you get that and you’ll understand why he always knows best. And he’ll reply to your thanks with only a wink.
Mistletoe is always perfectly placed. For the right person and the right moment, you’ll both look up and see it and have no choice but to kiss.
Bosses are evil. They’re all trying to use you or break you down or make you do things you don’t want to or maybe they’re jealous of you. Though some have hearts of gold buried deep down.
Firings are for your own good. If you lose your job at Christmastime, it’s because something better is coming along or because you’ll be getting your old job back soon, with a raise or promotion.
You should take a bus. Because a flight isn’t long enough for a relationship to develop, especially since your bus is probably going to break down somewhere along the way.
Animals are smarter than people. Cats and dogs know what you should do with your life and who you should spend it with, so make sure you pay attention to their signs.
Cowboys make the best husbands. It’s rare to find an evil cowboy. They’re all gentlemen who will love you forever. This also holds true for firefighters.
You should go ice skating. Something magical will happen.
Shallow/mean people don’t ever find happiness. They have to change. Otherwise, they just have bad things happen to them and they’re never the main character in your life.
The world is a small place. You’ll keep bumping into the same people or that person your sister wants to set you up with but you keep putting off will end up being the person you already have a huge crush on.
Love at first sight is real. Even if you both deny it and fight against it at first.
Christmas Eve is a time for miracles and impossible wishes. By miracles, they mean things that have absolutely no logical chance of ever happening without magic.
It all comes down to fate. Or Santa.
Snowfall and a kiss are the perfect ending to anything.