It was one of my resolutions this year to stop yelling at my kids. It helped to put it out there and to set a high goal.
Let’s just make sure we’re on the same page here- which I think we are, but the comments on Today Moms went off on such a tangent, I had to stop reading them(if you want entertainment, click over and grab some popcorn).
When I say “stop yelling” I mean that I was aiming to stop screaming. I was not in any way, shape, or form saying that I wasn’t ever going to correct my kids. That I would let them get away with murder while I sat idly by and made cooing noises over how cute they are. Even though they are cute.
If there is something my boys are doing that they shouldn’t or if they aren’t doing something that they are supposed to be doing, they still hear it from me. It just doesn’t come out of my mouth in the form of a scream.
And yes, my kids still have consequences. I don’t know why anyone would equate no yelling with no consequences, but just to clear it up: my boys get time outs, lose privileges(particularly losing time on their devices, which is especially effective in my house), or have to do extra chores or whatever creative punishment we come up with. But I calmly inform them of this.
Last point to clear up before I give you an update on how it’s going: if one of my kids were about to run out in front of a car(or insert other life-threatening situation here), YES, I would still yell to stop them.
We good now? Alrighty, then.
I have to say that resolving to stop yelling completely has helped me to be more successful than in the past, when I used to say that I wanted to yell less. What does “less” mean? It’s okay to yell x number of times a day before I have to stop? That wasn’t doing anything in the moment to stop me from yelling.
But by aiming to stop completely, I think about it more before I open my mouth(or even when my mouth is hanging open, about to yell). I don’t beat myself up if I have the occasional lapse, but those lapses now don’t happen often at all.
I feel less stressed. Acting calmer has made me calmer.
And I don’t have that guilt that I used to after I’d yell. I just find other things to feel guilty about, but none about yelling.
But really, the biggest difference has come from my boys. They actually listen better.
Not that they were ever rotten little kids. But all kids have their moments, right? So do adults.
Now that they’ve seen that their mom isn’t going to yell at them, especially not yell back and forth about if they should be doing something, they know they need to listen the first time.
I think they hear my words and they sink in faster than when I’d scream them and their thoughts were more about why is mom shrieking like that than about what I was actually telling them to do or stop doing.
Instead of thinking I needed to yell to get through to them, the opposite is turning out to be true. And now, if I do happen to yell, they know to take it very seriously.
Last week’s highlights:
- I Hated Nursing from Life in the Pitts: I felt like this a lot about breastfeeding. I bf but totally understood why some quit or didn’t attempt it because of this feeling.
- There Is No Easy Way Out from Totally Marie: What it honestly takes to lose the weight.
- The Swaying of My Soul from Multitasking Mumma: I love the poetry of this post about holding your little one.
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