Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

I Miss It: Pour Your Heart Out

Figuring out what an individual student needed and watching it click. Exciting the class for an upcoming project. Having a student previously deemed a trouble student shine in my classroom.

I used to love teaching. Before my boys were born, I taught for six years. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. But I also knew that once my babies were born, I wanted to be at home with them.

I’ve never really looked back, especially since I’ve been able to do more and more work from home as my boys have gotten older. Not teaching, but work that I love that also allows me a flexible schedule where I can still be there for almost all my boys’ activities.

But this fall, I’ve started volunteering in my two older boys’ classrooms. And I missed it. I missed teaching for the first time since I left almost 9 year ago.

I think it hit me harder because I was volunteering during math in my third grader’s classroom: a grade I taught and my favorite subject to teach.

Memories of students whom I helped, lessons I taught: I missed it.

But I also know that what I truly miss is the actual teaching. My favorite year of teaching was probably the year that I was out in the “portable classroom” (aka a trailer in the back of the school because they’d run out of space for the kids) teaching fifth grade. That year, no one bothered me unless there was a darn good reason. I was just left to teach.

If I could go back and just teach, just work with the kids, just lesson plan… and I’ll even throw in being accountable for my students passing the end-of-grade standardized tests, I’d go back in a heartbeat.

But teaching is not just about that. There’s so much politics involved. Staff meetings, team meetings, conferences, new standards introduced, extra duties on top of regular school hours. So much paperwork. Not just papers to be graded or report cards to fill out- I have no problem with those. And it’s not IEPs and PEPs- I understand the importance of those. But professional growth plans and documenting every dang thing five different ways according to the requirements of  five different people/departments.

I don’t miss any of that.

And truthfully, I don’t want to go back to a schedule that isn’t flexible. To all the extra hours it takes to plan and prepare. It isn’t something that would work for my family right now.

Last Week’s Pour Your Heart Out Highlights

Thanks to everyone who links up for Pour Your Heart Out. I’m highlighting three posts from the previous week and I hope you take the time to check them out, along with visiting some of this week’s linkers.

  • Like from The Miss Elaine-ous Life: “I have found myself sitting in front of the screen of my computer wondering what I can post to get the attention of those around me.  I am saying right now, this does not feel healthy.”
  • Then I Flew to Florida and Left My iPad from Home from Time Out with Becky Kopitzke: “We built memories to last a lifetime.  And none of it was distracted by the pull of the outside world.”
  • Drip, Drip, Drop from Dancing in the MineFields: “Somedays, the skies in our house go from perfectly sunny with big fluffy Toy Story clouds and a crystal clear blue horizon to a torrential Florida July afternoon rainstorm with no warning. Other days, the rain comes slowly…drip drip drip drip…faster and more intense until finally the dam breaks and out pours the rain.”

Join in Pour Your Heart Out

pour your heart outClick if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Linking up? (or even if you are just here to visit) Please visit at least two of the linkers and show them some support in the form of a comment or a share!



Comments

  1. I am in absolute awe of teachers for all they do and how they are able to manage a classroom full of kids and help them learn. But to also have to deal with all the politics, administration, red tape, etc. on top of just taking amazing care of our kids? Blows me away. I do go through moments when I miss something that I used to do in a prior life and you’re right – if I could just strip it down to its essence, I would be back in a heartbeat. PS I loved Elaine’s post last week. 

  2. Wow, thanks so much for featuring my post today, Shell! And I get that feeling of missing what you did before kids. I’m contemplating a new part-time opportunity in which I would be employed, not self-employed, and I’m not sure I want to lose the flexibility of working from home. A little more peace and quiet, now that I would take back. But we’ll get it again some day… and then we’ll miss the little people at home. 🙂

  3. Your post reflected how much I miss teaching, but not the other stuff that goes in it as well. Anyway, I hope that you keep smiling as you remember all those lives you’ve touched as you plowed on through life inside the classroom.

    Happy Wednesday!

  4. The demands on a teacher have changed so much since when I started teaching decades ago. I am going back to the classroom next week. I will be the technology teacher at a school. It is an hourly position and you are really not really on the staff. I am paid by the PTA. It fits our schedule and still lets me be the mom I want to be though.

  5. I can’t imagine being a teacher–so much to juggle, so much responsibility…so much reward. I give teachers all the credit in the world.

    One of my best friends HAD to go back into the classroom a few years back. It’s been bittersweet for her: while she loves making a difference in kids’ lives, she feels she’s missing out on so much of her own kid’s.

  6. I admire teachers – the dedication, devotion and commitment required is mind-boggling. 

    I know what it’s like to miss something you used to do and be good at. But I also realize that I wouldn’t trade my life now to go back to that. 

  7. Teachers are a special breed,  there’s no doubt.  Now that my kid is school aged, for the first time as an adult I can really see what sacrifices they make for MY kid.  It’s humbling.  

  8. It would be so nice if teachers could just teach. The politics in any job always makes it less attractive. I bet you were a really good teacher. 

  9. My mother in law teaches second grade and has been doing it for several decades. She HATES all of the hoops she has to jump through these days. She literally has to document every single thing she does and each moment of growth a student shows with a photograph. She misses the days when she could teach and her students could learn. 

  10. I cannot even imagine how difficult that must be. Heck, dealing with the parents must be hard. I am not a teacher but I have heard on the grapevine through friends who are teachers at how frustrating it is dealing with the school board.

  11. I can relate, sometimes I so miss the work I used to do but a job that has no flexibility does not work for my family. It sounds like you are finding done of that enjoyment volunteering in your boys classrooms.

  12. Oh, my friend…I hear you on this. I miss it so much. And I don’t know that I’ll go back for all the reasons you mentioned in your last paragraph and that makes me sad. Teaching was so much a part of me. I loved it and didn’t know that I was good at what I was doing until I left it and was left with the memories of all that you mentioned here. The kids having fun learning or finally “getting” it. I am off to work on my post to link up here. 🙂

  13. I am actually contemplating getting back into teaching after not teaching for 12 years. I can’t believe it’s been 12 years! I do miss all the teaching parts, but am soooo worried about all the other stuff. It is like they can’t just let teachers teach. So frustrating. Even more frustrating is when I know that my kids feel their teacher’s frustration.

    So I will be thinking long and hard this winter about whether it is the right decision for my family! And for me!

  14. You are so right about the teaching thing. SOOOO much politics. So much paperwork. So much involved that isn’t just TEACHING. I love the teaching part of teaching. I love it so much. The rest? The rest I could do without.

  15. Oh, my friend. I’m so sorry for the crap that prevents you from wanting to do this again. But, you also made such a difference for so many kids just by being the kind of teacher you were- and now you have the toolbox to fight moron {insert subject here} teachers. 

    xo. 

  16. I taught for a little while and was so disappointed in all the behind-the-scenes stress. My principal was a tyrade and the week I resigned three other teachers did as well. I would love to teach again but I’m just not sure I could handle all the responsibilities teachers struggle with now. Too many parents expect the school to just “deal” with their kids. The state evaluations now are crazy! Okay, lots of thoughts on teaching here. 🙂 Thanks for sharing, this is my first time to visit and I would love to link up next time!

  17. Oh, I am so with you – I loved teaching. The teaching part. I do not miss having to fill out a lengthy form for each one of my 70+ “level one” students eight times a year. I do not miss that paperwork draining the joy out of the otherwise wonderful day so that by the time I got home I had nothing left for my husband or myself. I miss the kids. And so, like you, I volunteer to work with students. And though it’s not the same, it helps fill the void; and every time the idea of going back into the classroom tickles my mind, I try to remember all those politically-driven measures that interfered with what I love. Thank you for this post. I sometimes feel guilty about my decision to leave, though I know it was the right one, and it always helps to know that there are others out there who get it.

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