“I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.” -The Lorax, Dr. Seuss
As a mom blogger, I never felt like what I wrote was going to be taken as speaking for all moms. My experiences are different than yours. My way of doing things, my choices, my children. You make your own choices and have totally different kids than I do. While there are certain almost-universal truths in motherhood, we each have our own stories. I love to share mine and to hear yours: sometimes we have things in common and other times, we help each other see things a different way. I am not the Lorax, I don’t speak for all moms.
As a boy mom blogger, sometimes there’s a little bit more generalization. The dirt, legos, sports, noise, and attempts to eat their parents out of house and home. While I might be able to shed a little light on what it’s like to be a boy mom, all kids are unique and your experience as a boy mom might be totally different than mine. While I hope that my stories show what it’s like to live in a houseful of boys or bring a smile of recognition to your face, I’m not the Lorax, I don’t speak for all boys moms.
But as a special needs mom, I feel a weight- will people read my words and think that this is how all special needs moms feel? Will another special needs mom read my words and think well, that’s not how it is in my house.
When I share the tough times with my son, will you think that is how all children on the autism spectrum are? Because it’s not true. My son has his own unique journey and struggles and you can’t take the experiences that we have and assume that’s exactly how it is in anyone else’s home. Some have it much harder and some have it easier.
I’m also not the most politically correct person around and when it comes to p.c. terminology, I’m not the person to look to. I’ve read the arguments about “person first language” (child with autism) and arguments for the opposite- and both make sense to me. So I go back and forth with what I use. Mostly I just use my child’s nickname, not his diagnosis or a label. It’s the tone and intention that mean more to me than the actual words. So I’m not the one to look to for the “correct” terms to use.
There are special needs bloggers out there who tell you they wouldn’t change a thing about their child and they always look on the sunny side of things. While if someone gave me a magic wand, I’d wave it right over my son and rid him of any disabilities. And though I love my son(all my sons) with all my heart, I have to admit that there are days that just flat out suck.
Being a special needs blogger was not something that I set out to be. I started out simply telling stories about my family. But along the way, that evolved from knowing something was going on with my middle son though not knowing what it was, to finding out about his lead poisoning, to his eventual PDD-NOS and ADHD diagnosis.
I still think of myself as just a mom blogger. Yes, I don’t mind that term because I’m a mom and I blog.
And that means I blog about what is going on in my life as a mom. It might be about the crazy soccer moms or how to deal with excessive homework. But, when something is going on with my special needs child, especially when it’s something hard, that finds its way to my blog more often than not.
I blog about it because I need the release.
Because typing out it here helps me make sense of it all.
Because some of you might relate.
Because sometimes I want advice.
Because some of you can sympathize and give me support.
Because some of you need that support yourselves.
Because I do hope that my words can help to give those of you who don’t have to deal with any of this some insight into what it’s like to be a special needs mom. That even though I don’t want to give you the mistaken impression that all special needs families deal with the same struggles and behaviors… all of us can use more compassion and less judgement. And maybe by reading my words and getting to know my family’s story, it will make you think a little more about other families who might be going through something similar- or even something totally different- but to help you to see that we’re all just families with our own stories, our own struggles.
But I’m not the Lorax.
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