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November 19, 2013 by: Shell

How Important is Being on the Honor Roll? Pour Your Heart Out

Report cards were a big deal this year with my oldest since he’s in third grade.

In K-2, students get a mark of A, O or B(Above Grade Level, On Grade Level, or Below Grade level), with an A only being possible at the end of the school year. It makes a lot of sense to me- when you are monitoring sight word recognition and reading level, saying whether a child is on grade level or below is easier than saying a percentage. Would you give an A if the child is reading with the required accuracy at the required reading level benchmark or, since that is where they are supposed to be, you’d say that was average so it’s a C? It’s much easier to say On Grade Level for that.

But from third grade on, the kids get letter grades, along with the chance to earn Honor Roll(A and B’s) or Principal’s List(all A’s).

honor roll

My oldest didn’t quite make Honor Roll. His 84 in Language Arts meant he had one C on his report card(I still take issue with our 7 point grading scale instead of 10 point- an 84 would be a solid B in some schools instead of the highest C).

After the award ceremony, where my son didn’t get an award for his grades, he asked me if I was upset with him for not being on the honor roll.

Here’s the thing: last year, he started off second grade below where he needed to be for his reading level. First grade was  a bit of a mess for him and his teacher was not helpful at all. So his grades for the first two semesters in second grade for Language Arts were B(below grade level), as he tried to catch up.

And then something clicked. It had to do with his incredibly amazing second grade teacher, the work we were doing at home, AND because it’s very common for skills like reading to “click” at different times for kids when they are in younger grades. Some get it earlier, some get it later, and by later elementary, you wouldn’t be able to tell who was reading on what level when(with the exception of the very highest and lowest- but just talking about the majority here).

So, for the last two grading periods of second grade, he received an O for On Grade Level in Language Arts. I was extremely proud of him for all the work he did to get there. It was very clear when reading with him, all the progress he’d made.

He’s continued with his progress. I wasn’t upset when he was “On Grade Level,” doing the work expected for a child in his grade, so why would a C (meaning average) bother me? Now had that C been in math, where he’s been doing advanced work, that would be a different story.

I want my boys to do their best in school. To try, to learn, to reach for a higher goal. And that doesn’t necessarily mean straight A’s or even Honor Roll.

But, I’m proud of my boys any time they are trying their best, no matter how that translates to a letter grade.

How do you feel about your kids and Honor Roll?

Last Week’s Pour Your Heart Out Highlights

  • Roller Coaster Rides from Love Life Surf: “There was a part of me that felt like Mommy was entitled to be angry too and to express my emotions.”
  • The Break In from Making It Work Mom “The reality is we were careless.  We had been lulled into a false sense of security living in our same small New England town for nine years.”
  • How Do You Blog from Good Girl Gone Redneck: “And no, nobody has said they have had an issue with my words at all. It’s me. It’s my mind, ya know? It’s my thought process that leads me to thinking what if people think …?”

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Comments

  1. Emmy says

    November 19, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    Your grading system is weird, with an 84 being a C.  I often find myself getting caught up in thinking, my kids need to be getting all A’s and B’s for sure, but then I found my grade school report card with that big old C in handwriting and realized, yes as long as they are trying and working hard and doing their best that is good enough; though I have to admit I do like them getting good grades still. 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      I’m definitely not a fan of the grading scale here.
      I definitely want my kids to do their best- and I hope that it will end up meaning A’s and B’s… but I’m happy with it as long as they are passing and working to the best of their ability.

  2. Anna Hettick says

    November 19, 2013 at 10:29 pm

    One of mine is going thru the same things…1st grade was rough, 2nd grade was better but not great, and 3rd grade she’s got a teacher she loves. But she’s been playing catchup for 2 years and counting and she will continue to be playing catchup until it “clicks”. We are hoping that she doesn’t have to be held back but this year there is nothing we can do to stop it if it happens. We don’t really care what their grades are as long as we know they are trying their hardest.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      I hope it clicks. It’s really amazing to see. 🙂

  3. Teresa says

    November 19, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    It just makes me made when they have honor roll parties now that I have a special ed kid and I teach special education because some kids work REALLY HARD and never make honor roll. Sometimes a C is their best and we should celebrate THAT.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 2:54 pm

      It is frustrating that sometimes the kids who work the hardest often aren’t rewarded for it. One year, one of my students showed growth of over 30 points on the reading EOG(when 7 points was expected growth). Yet that still left her with a 2, so she wasn’t given an award with the other kids who met or exceeded growth on the EOGs. She grew more than any of my other students, but nada. 🙁

  4. Kate @ Mommy Monologues says

    November 19, 2013 at 11:32 pm

    I was never on honor roll in grade school, high school or college. I always had fine grades, in high school & college I was always at a 3.0 or higher. But I wasn’t behind in my work & I wasn’t at the top of the class either, most teachers always overlooked me academically because I fell in the middle. So, I can’t see me caring if my kids aren’t on honor roll because as long as my kids are making their best effort & their grades are fine, I don’t think I care beyond that.

    I think your attitude about it is awesome! I’m always glad to read blog posts of moms with older kids than mine because I have no idea how it all plays out since I don’t have kids quite at school age yet.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 2:55 pm

      On report card day, I saw the mom in line ahead of me at pick up start yelling at her daughter for getting a C in one of her subjects and it made me cringe. Though, I don’t know their story- maybe her daughter usually makes A’s w/o any effort so a C was unacceptable to her. I think we have to look at our kids and see what their abilities are.

  5. Jenn says

    November 20, 2013 at 3:37 am

    Awww… I remember my school days. My mom was very particular about the honor list; I finished third when I was in Grade 3, then finished 4th in Grade 4… and she was very very upset! Whenever guests come to our house, she would rant about it as if I was the dumbest student ever. I don’t know what’s the obsession about getting medals at the end of the academic year, but now that I am an adult, I understood why she was like that.

    I am still single, but by the time I have a family of my own, I will never be obsessed about it, but of course, I would love my future kids to do good in school. 

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 2:57 pm

      I think it just depends on the child. When I was in school, I got A’s without having to try. I think all we can ask of our kids is that they do the best they can, and that looks different for all of them.

  6. MJ says

    November 20, 2013 at 5:38 am

    When I was a kid, school was my THING.  I made the honor roll every time, I was a good kid, I loved school and I thought about school and I lived and breathed school.   My son is a second grader now, and I realized very early on that no matter what I did, school was never going to be his thing.  He’s bright and falls in the “above grade level” (his school calls it exceeds expectations) on most subjects without really trying, but I can already see that he will probably never have to try, and as such, he will never really care that much.  In some ways I think it would make it better for him if he had to work a little harder, and in others, I’m glad it comes easily for him, because so few things in life do.  

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      When I was in school, I got A’s without any sort of effort. I did enjoy it when I was younger and was bored out of my mind in junior high and high school. But my boys aren’t like that- they have to try harder, so I’m proud of their efforts.

  7. Stacey says

    November 20, 2013 at 5:52 am

    I love it when my kids do make honor roll, but I don’t expect them to make it every time. My daughter is hit or miss…sometimes she misses it by a point or two. She had her “click moment” in second grade too 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:00 pm

      That click moment is so exciting to see, isn’t it?
      I admit that I hope that since my son was so close to making honor roll this time, that he does make it next time around. But I’ll be happy as long as he’s continuing to be on grade level and make progress.

  8. JDaniel4's Mom says

    November 20, 2013 at 6:06 am

    JDaniel will get his first report card in January.  It will be interesting see how he and I react to it.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:01 pm

      I think it’s easier without the letter grades.

  9. Herchel S says

    November 20, 2013 at 6:22 am

    I haven’t really thought about it yet. My son in kindergarten does great academically but is having a hard time with the raising your hand part of school. He gets reprimanded every day for calling out answers without raising his hand. My daughter is in preschool but misses school all the time due to JA. She is “smarter” than my son, in that she’s quicker to learn but she’s also stubborn and lazy sometimes. She will do homework wrong on purpose because she is mad that she is being made to do it. Then again they are four and six lol. My parents place too much emphasis on the honor roll, I think. I would have been devastated if I wasn’t on it as a child. I don’t want that kid of stress on them.

    • Herchel S says

      November 20, 2013 at 6:24 am

      A close friend of mine has a daughter in kindergarten. She storms into the school when her daughter doesn’t score perfect or above average. I don’t think it’s healthy for the child.

      • Shell says

        November 20, 2013 at 3:03 pm

        Oh geez. They are kids and just learning. That mama needs to chill!
        I got A’s without any effort in school. My boys are different than I was, though. I think it’s impressive how much effort they put in to be able to get the marks that they do.

  10. Lynda says

    November 20, 2013 at 6:35 am

    Being on the honor roll was a big deal when they made it, but I was just as proud of the C when I knew they had done their best. Learning was easy for our daughter, but our son was challenged by some learning issues. I watched him sweat and work so hard to get that C. So I was just as proud of it as I was our daughter’s A. 

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:05 pm

      I do think it’s more important to look at the effort put in. I got A’s without trying when I was in school. I feel like it’s more of an accomplishment for my boys to have to work as hard as they do to get the marks that they do.

  11. Alison says

    November 20, 2013 at 7:50 am

    I come from a family where grades are important, and an education system where results are emphasized, rather than the process of learning, and life skills attained. It makes me sad, because there is so much pressure on the kids. They are made to attend extra classes after school (privately, it’s called ‘tuition classes’ in Malaysia), even at the age of 7. So after school, it’s more ‘school’. When do they get to enjoy just being kids? Isn’t play just as important as academia? 

    For me, I think the effort put in would be more important than what grade they get. If they tried, then I can’t complain. 

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      That’s how I feel. It’s about the effort and their abilities. I want them to work hard- and they do. I can’t complain if them working their hardest means that they don’t make honor roll.

  12. Natalie says

    November 20, 2013 at 8:11 am

    I think I would agree with your point of view and how he has improved and is doing well.  I think at first I would struggle with my boys if they didn’t excel in school b/c it was something I loved and did well at it.  I know that they might not find it as easy, and I will have to accept that their strengths might not be mine, and they might struggle.   If they try hard and improve then that’s all that matters!

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:07 pm

      I was an early reader and got A’s in school without any sort of effort. But my boys are different than I was. They have to work harder and they don’t enjoy it as much as I did. It was a little hard for me to digest at first.
      But I’m proud of the effort they put in.

  13. Marta says

    November 20, 2013 at 9:28 am

    I think honor roll is important but the most important thing is trying. He did his best. And I think that’s more important than honor roll and I know you agree.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:09 pm

      Yes, exactly. I hope he can improve that little bit that he needs to be able to make it next time- he was SO close. But as long as he keeps putting in the effort that he does, I’m happy.

  14. Andrea says

    November 20, 2013 at 9:51 am

    An 84 is a C? That’s all sorts of off in my mind. But yes, I agree with you. When our kids perform AT level, we often get taught to think it’s not good enough. I’m proud when my daughter is above her level, but I’m proud when she is at her level, too. And if she is under I want to know how to help her meet the goals. It should all go in that way for everyone, but it doesn’t, I guess. 

    Sigh. School and parenting and being a kid – it’s all hard!

    Thanks for the shout out for last week’s post! Truly means a lot. 

    I linked up again this week. Not quite as heavy, but my glimpse of motherhood this AM. 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:11 pm

      Yeah- 93 is lowest A, 85 lowest B, 77 lowest C, and 70 lowest D. It’s a tough scale. At least from my point of view, growing up with a 10 point scale!
      It is funny how there’s this attitude about being where they’re supposed to be is a bad thing. That benchmark is there for a reason, saying where kids should be at certain points in each grade- we should be happy if they are able to meet it.

  15. Chris Carter says

    November 20, 2013 at 11:23 am

    I’m getting more and more disheartened at how our grading system is becoming black and white and there are no inbetweens… no range at all- how does this prepare the kids for their higher grades? I don’t think I know enough about my kids’ progress, when all I get is a Pass or fail type of report card. It keeps dwindling down every year- I feel like students are slowly becoming stats on a screen.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Oh, pass or fail would be hard! I do like the younger elementary grading of on, above, or below grade level. I think that provides enough info- especially when coupled with parent-teacher conferences.
      Don’t even get my started on the standardized testing and how it’s the be-all, end-all for if kids pass to the next grade, though!

  16. NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner says

    November 20, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    Malone is only four, so we’re not there yet. I think we’ll take the same stance my mom did with regard to the honor roll. Her thoughts were this- as long as I was working my hardest and giving 100% effort 100% of the time she didn’t care what grade I got. She was just as proud of me when I struggled through chemistry and brought home a C+ as she was with my A in geography. 

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:14 pm

      Exactly. It really has to do with effort put in. I got A’s without trying throughout school. I feel more proud that my boys try their hardest and put in extra effort to get the grades that they do.

  17. Twingle Mommy says

    November 20, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    Well a 7 point system stinks in my opinion. You would think with all the common core junk going on that the schools would also have to agree on the same grading scale. Oh wait no, that would make too much sense. The teacher in me says that honor roll in elementary school is pure crap. These are the years that kids need to be learning the basics and creating a love for learning. The mom in me expects her kids to try hard and not give up. But the mom in me also knows that when I got my daughter’s first report card and I saw all 3s (on grade level) I was very proud of her and a little surprised. I thought her writing skills her far behind grade level.  

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      I hate the 7 point scale. And feel like it puts our kids at a disadvantage in high school, when they’ll need to put their GPA on college admissions.
      Honor roll is an interesting concept in elementary, for sure. We don’t have it for younger than third grade. Yay for your daughter’s 3’s!

  18. Tracie says

    November 20, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    We had that 7-point grading system in my elementary school when I was growing up, and I remember how much I hated it. It sucked to be getting a B when your friends at other schools where getting an A for the exact same grade.

    I think doing your best work is what is important. For that, I applaud him. Even if the rest of the school didn’t get a chance to. 

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 10:48 pm

      It does seem unfair. 92 being a B especially kills me.
      Thanks for getting it- I do think he deserves some applause!

  19. Karen says

    November 20, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    I tell my kids I am happy with whatever grades they get as long as they are trying. I know, cliche. But it’s true. My 11 year old is much harder on himself, he was inducted in to the National Elementary Honor Society in 4th grade and disappointed in himself because he is having trouble with Math and “only” got an 89 on the last report card, everything else was 90 or above. My younger son is also all A’s and B’s. Frankly, their grades aren’t as important to me as the person they are becoming.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 10:48 pm

      Cliches are clichés for a reason. 😉

  20. Jennifer Hall says

    November 20, 2013 at 7:20 pm

    Letter grades don’t start here until middle school. That’s fine and all, but I do take exception to how Math is graded because EIGHTY percent of the grade is based on test scores. I really hate that.

    • Shell says

      November 20, 2013 at 10:49 pm

      That’s a huge percentage!
      I’m annoyed that most of my son’s math tests are only 5 questions. So, you miss one and it’s a C.

  21. Making It Work Mom says

    November 21, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    We are all about doing your best in our house. Which can sometimes be hard because a B for my son in something may be his best, but I know if my oldest gets a B she is definitely not doing her best. Now that they are in middle school and I am not so on top of every little thing they are doing a lot of it is just knowing what they are capable of and gauging how hard they are actually working. We also don’t reward for grades. We have never given prizes of rmoney or anything for report cards. I want the message to be that we EXPECT them to do their best and the reward is the great grade. With all that being said I do think that at some point we started under estimating my son as he has certainly shown us in the past year that he is capable of grades just as good as his sister. We also don’t talk a lot about Honor Roll or things like that. Again the expectation is just that they would always be working very hard and therefore would make Honor Roll. I think as long as you know he is working to his abilities you are good!

    • Shell says

      November 26, 2013 at 7:01 pm

      It was like that with us growing up- I didn’t have to try and could get A’s. My older brother would have to struggle to get a C.
      I like the way you just have those expectations and it’s not tied to rewards or anything like that.

  22. Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says

    November 22, 2013 at 12:30 am

    That’s crazy to think that an 84 is a C! Growing up, my family cared A LOT about grades which was good and bad. Sometimes the expectations were burdensome but I also know that it made me work hard and study hard. At the same time, I knew that I didn’t want to put the same kind of pressure on my kids or to worry about grades. And then my oldest brought home his first report card and there was this funny mix of pride and joy. It’s hard to attach those feelings to the report card (at least for me) but it also made me think about how important it is (or not). I do want me kids to be curious and interested and to try hard and that’s what I care about. 

    Thank you Shell for highlighting my post!

    • Shell says

      November 26, 2013 at 7:00 pm

      An 84 should be a solid B! At least with the grading system I grew up with.

      My parents expected me to get all A’s. I did and it was never a big deal. Then my older brother would get applauded if he managed to make a C. I remember how frustrating that was for me. I can understand it now- I didn’t have to try to get an A and he had to struggle for that C, but as a kid, I didn’t have that perspective.

  23. jillian says

    November 23, 2013 at 1:06 am

    My girlie is in K. She was in prek last year and in a 3yo class (at 4) the year before.

    She never does well on reportcards. She has a whole alphabet soup of dx’s behind her name and those get in the way of how a girl IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

    Yes. Girls are judged on how they’re supposed to be. If a girl has wild impulses, is loud, is aggressive, is physical? She’s a problem. If a boy is? He’s a boy.

    So we dread report card day. All last year girlie struggled to improve her stims and twitches. But? She mever got props on her report card. They have a similar system here as for you. It’s 3 letters and it’s basically, “mastered” “improving” and “needs improving.” They then add awards. My girl was the only prek kid to not get an award last year. She knew it too.

    This year? Started rough, but for 1.5months, she’s only had good days. Her academics are advanced. She’s about to start 3rd grade work. And she behaves like a “normal” kiddo. So when she brought home the attendance award (otherwise known as the breahing award), I knew we were in for it. I explained that she had improved, she had done er best, and their piece of paper meant nothing. I don’t think it helped.

    However? Learning now that others won’t recognize her best as good enough, honor roll means nothing, and doing well for yourself and not for an award are all important lessons.

    I don’t really care my girlie din’t get an award bc I know she has improved. What I mind is the fact SHE cares.

    • Shell says

      November 26, 2013 at 6:58 pm

      That’s so frustrating- to know that she’s improved so much and isn’t being recognized for it. It’s so hard when that sort of thing bothers them.

Trackbacks

  1. Believe. | Oh My, Marta!Oh My, Marta! says:
    November 20, 2013 at 9:55 am

    […] Linked with Just Write and Pour Your Heart Out […]

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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