Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Give ME the Best of You

My boys have Spring Break this week, so my dear friend MommaKiss is helping me out today with a guest post. MommaKiss was a BFF back this fall and if you missed out on meeting her back then, you are really missing out! It was love at first bloggy-sight for us.

I wrote this a while ago – and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. The back story:

It was my day to drop off at daycare. I basically tossed Lil Kiss into his room (little mofo doesn’t even say good bye to me anymore) and then got Big Kiss all nestled in. He sat at his little chair at the table with his name on the placemat and ate his bagel. I went to put his lunch in the fridge.

His BFF JoeBunny (Giovanny) always says Hi to me and then we fist bump and BLOW IT UP! And then his other BFF, HacoBeeno (the puerto rican jew) asks to “blow it up, too?”

So me and the 3 boys are doing blow up bumps and one of Big Kiss’ room aides says “You are the funnest mom ever.”

I heard her, but pretended I didn’t and said “excuse me?”

And she said it again 😉

I could have kissed her!

Instead I said – “Awww, thanks. You know, it’s either have some fun or fit me for a straight jacket!”

*********

That was a couple of years ago. I still hear it once in a while. I’m still told that my kids are well behaved and have great manners. But when they’re with me? Like just alone with me at home or in the grocery store? They can be total jerks. I can’t help but wonder if someone else is getting the best of them. Their teachers, their friends, strangers. I’m left with the bad cop crap. The discipline and yelling. The sass talk. The stomping tantrums. I want to be a funnest mom and get some of the laughs and smiles – at home – when it’s just us. When’s that going to happen? Let me tell ya, I could use some fun with my boys right now! In the meantime, I’ll just keep praying they spare some of their fun for me – and keep on keepin’ on. Not much choice, now is there.

I can relate, can you? Don’t forget to follow MommaKiss if you don’t already.

Comments

  1. I can totally relate. Although I don't think I've been called the "funny mom." My kids are so much better for other people, they are even shy. At home? They are swinging from the curtains and drawing on the walls.

  2. Oh I get the best of my kids, unfortunately when anyone else is looking they loose there sh*t and act like they've been raised by a pack of wolves. -les sigh- But at least their angels with me.

  3. I can absolutely relate! My kids are so well-behaved for other people, and I get to be fun and easy-going. At home, I feel like they go a little bonkers 🙂

  5. I just had a conversation with a friend about this – my kids are great for other people, but miserable around me recently!!

  6. I can definitely relate, too. I'm always told how well behaved my kids are. Would you like to come home with us and see the truth?

    I've been told kids get crazy for their parents because they know they won't leave, like a teacher does at the end of the day. I think that's a load of crap told to us to make us feel better as parents.

  7. Mine also are well behaved out in public and then holy terrors at home! What gives?!? At least I know that I am not the only one.

  10. I can definitely relate.. For years, my son's teachers would consistently brag on what angels they were in class. They were so smart, sweet, blah blah blah. Who were these children? They weren't like that at home!

  11. I had a day like that yesterday, and it made me cry.

    But, I had it: I was doing everything. EVERYTHING.
    Like always.

  12. I can absolutely, 100%, totally relate! My boys are angels at grandmas and the babysitters. They are usually decent at the store and restaurants, but at home? Little flippin hellians! Laughing at my discipline and ignoring my every word! Pushing the limits every second!

  13. Lol Sam loves to be the center of attention. That means when we go out she is perfect and puts on her charm. That is until she get's home and is cranky cause she doesn't want to take a nap :P.

    Happy Easter girl! 😀

  14. Amen!! The other day I picked up Wee 'Burb (17 months) from daycare and she didn't want to go, so she started a tantrum and my daycare lady looks at me, puzzled. Apparently my kid nevvvvver throws tantrums with her. NEVER! She's there 40 hours a week! Grrrr…

  15. Tantrums are inevitable when you aren't fun every single minute of the day. Try to put the dishes away? Tantrum.

  16. I went through this with my oldest. People would tell me how well behaved he was and I'd be like, whaaaatttt?
    Remember though, you can be friends later with them when they are grown, right now you have to be the bad cop so they will be angels for other people.:)

  17. Pluheeeze I told my daughter that she was a disrespectful little wench–and I mean it. Sometimes she can be soooo mean to me when she can't get her way. It is my job to be the parent not a friend! I am waiting on the best of them 24-7 too! Hmm, although I must ask myself 'Am I giving them my best self all the time?'

  18. I so relate!!!!! My twins are like the "mayors" of daycare, and there all the kids come up to me for hugs etc…they love when "jacob and Gio's mommy is here" but at home, my kids act like I'm a prison warden and then I think I'm one..and it all goes to shi* fast. LOL

    you are awesome!!!! so glad when Shell introduces us to a new friend.

  19. I am so totally not surprised that you're "the funnest mom."

    The tantrums & the fighting & the craziness . . . we all deal with that (and it becomes especially apparent when things get crazier & crazier). A wise woman said "parenthood is survival until they can leave the house." Your kids know they love them; something tells me that as the years pass, they'll inherit more & more of the awesome that you are 😉

  21. Yeah… I hear that.

    Your time will come. Provided, of course, that you don't negotiate a good price for them, and sell them to a circus in the meantime.

    Though that could work, too.

  24. I so get that.

    I wonder if we are their testing grounds? If home isn't Open Mic night and school, friends and cousins houses aren't the paying gigs.

    They try out the sarcasm, sassin' and general ass holery on us, because they know we are in the business of funny and we know what aint.

    Not an exuse, mind you, just a theory.

  25. Yes can totally relate! But I would rather have them be good for others and in public than the other way around, so I guess I'll take it

  26. I'm only fun when I'm not being the mom. Which isn't very often.

    My kids think I'm a big meanie.

  27. I'd rather have my kids behave for their teachers and what-not than for me – if it has to be one or the other. But the sass does get old, doesn't it? Phoo-ee. I just hope they sing the first two lines of Bob the Builder for other people too. Spread the love.

  28. As someone who's had to deal with the worst of someone's kids, there's times I wonder if the parents are just clueless or they act just as bad at home, but the parents don't care.

  29. My son tells me he can "only be good for so long" and he "has to let it all out" at home. We just had this conversation last week after he terrorized the whole family for an hour.

  30. it's the same here. i swear, i'm so scared that when they grow up they are only going to remember me being mad and getting them in trouble!

  31. I can completely relate! My daughter is always on her best behavior for others in the family, but the second she sees me, she starts her whining fits. I don't get it!

  34. I have been there too. It is so funny to hear other parents sing the praises of our kids when I know how they are at home! 🙂

  35. I totally get this! When I talk to our daycare person at the end of the day, I always get the "your kids were perfect!" – I never know if she's lying to keep her job or they really just are only bad for me. Who knows!

  36. I think that's only natural…they push the boundaries at home. But the fact that they are so well behaved outside of home says you did well in teaching them very good manners.

  38. You've hit the nail on the head, Momma Kiss, somebody else IS getting the best of our kids, dammit! It's a dastardly scheme to make us put up with more shit than we have to.

  39. I am so glad to know that Maddy plays Queen of the castle at daycare, (like she does at home)except when it shows what a pushover I am.

    I think I need some MK lessons BEFORE the Dude gets the same message.

    You know what message they are getting from you, my keepin'-it-real-momma? that you are not to be messed with, that you demand their respect and that you love them unconditionally. It just may take some time to show you their gratitude. (Or at least thats what those smarter-than-me mommies say!)

  40. I've definitely felt that way a bunch of times & even blogged about it before, haha. It sucks to be the one who has to lay down the law and look like the bad guy & have your kids joke & be great with others instead of you. But when they turn out to be amazing, decent people; they'll have YOU to thank for it and you still get their unconditional love & occasional "good kid" behavior =)

  42. People try to tell me that Babe lets loose around me (anger/free emotional expression, whatever) because he feels comfortable. I sometimes wouldn't mind if he held it in.

  43. Shell, hope you're enjoying spring break with the babes!

    LOVE Momma Kiss….I SO SO relate!

  44. Enjoy your time with the boys this week, Shell!

    Momma Kiss hit the nail on the head… my kids seem to give their best selves to everyone else and I get the leftovers!

  45. As the mother of 4 boys, the best compliment I could received was one about how great one of my boys was…….it got me through the crap they gave me. Now,they are grown men, with families of their own, and I couldn't be more proud of them. Hang in there, it gets better. I promise.

  46. I've found that every once in a while, I still get "You're a fun mom" from the girl. Usually, I make do with the understanding that someone else is seeing what a great kid she is.

  47. Mine is 16mo so I am still the center of her universe. But I know it won't last long. They say good moms aren't the ones that are their kids' best friends though. That's Dina Lohan territory.

  49. Oh, I hear you! I always say if they hold it together out in the world, that's all I can ask for. Home is safe. Mom is the safest of all. They know they're loved, and therefore they just let loose with the crazies.

  50. After reading your post and the comments, I see that this is typical. Yay! That is exactly how it is at my house. We have fun many times, but I do get the sass…a lot.

  51. I love that you asked the aide to repeat it even when you heard her. Ha! If someone tells me I look skinny, I'll make them repeat it 15 times.

  52. I can totally relate. When I go to pick my kids up from my mom's she inevitably says, "They didn't whine (cry, scream, fight, or pout) at all until YOU got here". Thanks.

  53. Hmmm…best i get is "wow, clean house."

    Which is nice and all…but I'd rather be the cool mom, the hip mom, or the funny mom.

    I don't know – even with the Martha Points and all – that I'm happy that my parenting genus is "Sanitary Mom."

  54. I can completely relate. Sadly, I sometimes feel the same way about my husband.

  55. I can completely relate. Sadly, I sometimes feel the same way about my husband.

  56. Why hello there! Slacker guest poster here – all "visit me!" and then not even thanking my host?! I stink.

    Glad to know I'm not alone – I am – but it still blows major chunks that my kids are this way. I know I'll blink and they'll be all grown up, so I want to remember the happy.

    Meh.

    Gimme a tissue.

    Thanks again, Shell! Love you more than cupcakes!

  57. I know what you mean on this. I struggle with having to discipline and maintain our rules when I just walk in the door and I just want to have a nice night with E after being at work.
    but I can' let him get away with stuff just because I haven't seen him all day. I've given in to that temptation in the past and I know where it gets you – no place good!

  59. I recently went on a field trip with Cole and Bella's classes and I was praying that they'd behave well, off campus. They did fine but there was another kid who was acting like a complete ass to one of the teachers and another mom said to me, "Are you as relieved as I am that that's not MY kid who's behaving like that?"

    I was all, "Yeah, I am…but part of me is a little envious that my kids behave so well for their teachers and they save all their rebellion for me at the end of the day when I'm completely exhausted."

  60. My kids have taught me the art of the "exploding knuckles". Meaning, if we ever meet in person, I would SO fist bump you. 'Cause you're all cool like that.