Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Eye Rolling Moments with the Soccer Moms

It’s not just back to school time, it’s back to soccer.

I’ve already confessed that I pretty much suck as a soccer mom. And I’m the world’s worst soccer snack mom.

But this season has been a little different because my older two are on the same team, playing for Hubs’ best friend(with Hubs helping out coaching). So their practices have been on Hubs, leaving me with just our youngest’s practices to deal with.

And so far, soccer practice is remarkably easy(which caused a whole different level of mom guilt, but that’s a Pour Your Heart Out type of story).

soccer Cub

This is Cub’s third season playing soccer- he’s 5 so he’s in the U6 league.

At practice last week, all of us parents were asked if we were okay with practice just being once a week, plus the once a week games.

I may have answered a little too excitedly in the affirmative. As did the majority of the other soccer moms.

And then came “Well, MY child LOVES soccer and would be out on the field every day if it were up to him, so we’d like more practices.”

And a few of the moms agreed.

Which caused me to roll my eyes. And maybe even want to tell them to STFU.

My Cub LOVES soccer, too.

And he’d like to be out on the field more, as well.

But, these kids are FIVE.

They don’t need to be out on the field every single night.

It’s not just about what they want to do, but what is best for them. I do think it’s overscheduling to have kids that young in an activity every single night. They need some down time, especially because they have to get up early in the morning to go to school.

And (selfishly, yes), I don’t just have one child’s schedule to deal with, but three. And even if they are only in one or two activities each, that can work out to multiple late nights a week- the last thing I want is to add something more to the mix.

Maybe some day, my child will look back and blame his mama for not having him play soccer multiple nights a week back when he was five, citing it as his reason for not getting a full ride soccer scholarship or becoming a professional soccer player… but I highly doubt it.

He’s five, he has plenty of time to play soccer(or to find things to blame his mama for).

Though I guess if the team votes to add another night of practice, we’ll go along with it. Maybe.

Comments

  2. I completely agree! They do not need to be out every single night. My little dude has been wanting to play baseball and one reason we’ve held off is because of all the practicing during all the week nights. We told him he could play this coming up year but I’m already not looking forward to the practices.

    • We haven’t done baseball yet because it would have meant not getting any break from sports at all last year- and by the time baseball season rolled around- we needed that break!

      • That is true! The only other thing he takes is karate (actually tae kwon do) and it’s 1-2 nights per week for 30 minutes, and we get to choose which days he goes. The flexibility in that helps so much.

  3. Once a week + a game is just right for 5 year olds. You’re right, they have many years ahead of them to do more. They’re FIVE.

  4. I think that kids are way too involved in outside activities today.  There has to be a limit and some balance.  How about family time?  Time to set the table and have dinner together.  Maybe play a game before dinner or have some conversation.  They are gone so soon and no wonder so many kids don’t phone home!

  5. I agree that there can be way too much scheduling for young children these days. I am a big believer in downtime, family time, free time. There is plenty of time for them to devote to their chosen extra-curricular activities as they grow. Let them have fun now, without the pressure of committing to multiple nights a week when they are five.  

  6. Ugh, yes I would so be with you on the one night a week practice being enough, especially at that age.  Between school and homework they hardly have time for themselves as it is, then you throw in a sport and  music lesson and yea, kids just don’t have time to be kids anymore.  
      So happy that your husband is able to help out too and lighten the soccer mom load a bit this season. 

    • Kids need time to just relax and be with family, not always on the go. Especially at such young ages.
      Soccer has been a totally different experience for me this year since it doesn’t make sense for both Hubs and I to go to the big boys’ practices. Only having to do one night of practice as opposed to the four it was last season is a huge change!

  7. You know I feel where you’re coming from. One soccer practice at this stage is plenty. In a few years, if they are totally into it, they can join the competitive league (that’s what they call the 4x a week, traveling, and very expensive league). Once a week is enough.

    My kiddo decided he didn’t want to play soccer anymore. While coach hubby was devastated, I did a silent happy dance. Who knows what ‘fun’ the next activity will bring. At the moment, he just wants to play with his legos and draw once he finishes his homework. Not like there’s much time for that–maybe an hour or two. I’ll let him play while he can 🙂

    Good luck.

    • My older two are in a more competitive league- more practices, crazy expensive uniforms. And youngest can’t wait until he can join, too. SIGH. But for now, I’ll stick with the once per week schedule!

  8. I would love to know if those moms had older kids. Everything just seems so intense as you are going through it, but then you realize it doesn’t have to be that way. The kids will progress to all nights per week practice soon enough. I wish we could have the wisdom at the end of the road without having to reinvent the wheel.
    How about if you lobby to those moms whose kids love soccer so much, to just have them go out and kick the ball around their yards for the love of the game. That way everyone wins. 🙂 Ellen

    • That’s a good solution! 😉
      Honestly, my first thought when I heard those moms was to ask if this was their first/only child. Luckily, my filter wasn’t completely broken and I kept that comment to myself(no need to completely alienate myself before our first game!)

  10. I think 1 night of soccer practice and 1 game a week is perfect.  I would have given an enthusiastic yes right along with you! 

  11. I don’t blame you for rolling your eyes! If YOUR kid wants to play more, then take them to a park or your back yard right? Noah plays soccer and at 6, it’s one practice and one game a week. However, I had friends’ kids playing football and it’s TWO HOUR practices THREE TIMES a week AND a game on the weekend. Um, no thank you. They are six for crying out loud.

    • That sounds like way too much. You’re absolutely right- the kids could go out in the backyard and shoot around. It doesn’t have to all be organized.

      Football is crazy like that here, too. Uh-uh, no way.

  12. I’d be rolling my eyes right next to you! I think that 5 one night of practice is plenty and if the parents think they need more time then why can’t they get out on the field and help their kids out?

    • Exactly. Hubs is building the boys a big goal in the backyard so they can shoot around. But they don’t need all those days of structured whole-team practice.

  14. Totally agree! There is lots of time in life to spend many hours on the soccer field. I love it when people say things like “My child wants to do XYZ, so I HAVE to allow it”… well my kids WANT to eat chocolate for dinner every night, but my job as a parent to to ensure they are doing not just what they want to do, but what is good for them too.

  15. I’m a huge soccer fan and would be elated if Lovie wanted to play. But at 5, I would NOT want to take her to practice more than once a week. That’s just too much. And she’s just one kid. If the parents want their children to have more practice, they can practice with them themselves.

  16. It would have taken all my power to not punch that mom. Or to call her a bitch out loud. Because you know I would have said it under my breath. This is our first year to play and I’m very thankful that in our league it is against the rules to have more than one practice a week for the kids James’ age. And once the actual season starts they are not allowed to practice at all, only play games. Although I’m not so much happy about the games being at 2:30 every single Saturday between now and November.

  17. Seriously- five years old? I totally agree with you Shell. 🙂 Kids shouldn’t be solely focused on any one thing at that age… balance and fun. That’s all they need.

  18. I agree with you too and I would be totally annoyed. My 9-yr-old just made the dance company at her studio and we knew it was going to be a twice a week commitment plus occasional other things. And she is involved in a number of other things she just wasn’t willing to let go of but we decided it could work. Then they tell me they want her to come a 3rd night if at all possible. I feel like we are the black sheep because we’re not doing it. Some of the others have one child and they can come plenty but I’ve got 4 and I’m already doubled up on most evenings running to and fro. And yes kids need to be kids. 5 year olds especially!

  19. I can completely understand how you feel. I go through that with my kids all the time. Having a special needs kid is so hard. But having typical kids as well, it adds a whole new dimension. It will pass.

    • Thankfully, things have gotten better for Bear, but of course there’s still a difference between him and his brothers.

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