Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Expectations and Confidence: Pour Your Heart Out

My five year old operates under the assumption that everyone adores him. That everyone wants to be his friend and everyone wants to be around him all the time.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend of one of his older brothers’, someone who is a few years older than he is. Or the son or daughter of one of our friends- a child in middle school or high school. It can even be friends of ours.

He just expects that spending time with him(or even following his lead) is what everyone wants to do.

His confidence is off the charts. He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s smart, he’s sweet… why wouldn’t you want to be his good friend?

first day

And the funny thing is that because this is how he expects to be treated, it’s how he is treated.

It makes me think there is something to the idea that others treat you how you teach them to treat you.

And that confidence is a powerful thing.

Add this to the list of things my kids teach me.

Do you think there’s something to being treated the way you expect to be treated? What have your kids taught you?

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Comments

  1. I love children’s confidence. My youngest, although only 2, already knows the powers of his charms. Everyone loves him, everyone wants to say hello to him. You get back what you give out, right?

    (thank you for the highlight!)

  3. I can see this in my kids as well, not exactly the same characteristics but that they are treated the way they think the should be treated. I have been struggling with being more aware of my tone and trying not to get so frustrated so easily. On the days when I feel like I do pretty good everyone is a lot happier at bedtime. I hope that my kids can learn to be confident in the who they are. 🙂

  4. I have somehow managed to raise three very confident children.  I was quite the opposite but I was determined that my kids would not have low self esteem like I did and WOW did I succeed.  LOL  My kids are not arrogant but they simply know that they are awesome, smart, friendly, kind, incredible people.  They blow me away.  ANYWAY, because they know they’re great, other people seem to accept it as fact and almost everyone they encounter will agree that they are awesome.  So yeah – definitely something to that theory!

  10. I think it’s great that your son has so much confidence. I’ve been trying to build my 6-year old up for years, she’s finally coming around and his more confidant than before, but it still takes time. My youngest is confidant, he’s the opposite of his big sister. I like how all kids are unique in their own ways. Your son is a cutie pie.

  11. Both my kids are more timid, but I love watching their confidence shine through every now and then. Great story about your little 🙂

  12. I totally agree!  I think that confidence is so huge and that it can totally make the difference in how people perceive you and how people treat you!  It’s great that you son is so confident!

  13. That is so awesome and I so hope he keeps that gift.  My Alex is the same way, it really is amazing to watch how easily so many things happen for her.  As a parent I struggle with helping her keep that confidence but also remain humble.  

  14. My teen does this thing where she will look in the mirror and say, “I look good today” or “I am so attractive.” Sometimes she is joking but mostly she is being confident about the way she looks and feels. I love that she is confident and feeling so strong about herself. I applaud your little one and hope that he keeps that positive feeling especially when people try to beat it out of him. 

  15. Confidence is a great thing! I’ll have to work hard to instill it into mine since they are not confident by nature.

  16. I think it is awesome that he is that confident and people are drawn to him. I absolutely do believe you lead how people treat you in how you act around them.. and I am going to have a mini hissy fit now because you had disappeared from my feed and I thought you were lost forever.. I am trying to find you on Bloglovin to get you back on my list where you belong.. grrrr

  17. Sounds very much like my youngest, also 5 years old. She has so much confidence and I only wish I had a little of it some days! 🙂

  18. My 4 year old is the exact same way! I find myself telling her, “Mia Grace, remember sometimes the “big girls” in our neighborhood just want to be alone” and no sooner are those words coming out of mouth, than one of them is knocking on our door to see if she can play! 🙂 I can definitely learn a thing or two from her confidence and outgoing personality because I’m such a shy person. Your son is precious!!! 🙂

  21. I fully believe if you treat others nice, you will be treated nice back. I try to teach this to my daughter and show her every day.

  24. He is a handsome little boy! I don’t have kids, but I know my parents taught me to act how I want to be treated, confidence, but not arrogance.  In other words- I sometimes won, I sometimes lost and didn’t have to be the best at everything, but I was also assured that I was good at many things. 

  25. I love that about him. My daugter was that way. She’s got great self esteem still today at 8.

  26. What a great reminder to treat people how we want to be treated. Others are influenced by our attitude and our behavior. Your sweet boy is proof of that.

  28. My mom often says that people treat us the way we have taught them to. Usually if we are griping about some abused ‘friend’ or someone else. I do agree with this. If we show people what we expect, that’s what we will get.

  30. Such a wonderful little boy. I love his confidence. My four year old is similar to your son. He loves people and being around them. 

  31. First of all, your son is a cutie! I’m always amazed just how much I learn from my 18 month old son – he teaches me to always be happy no matter the circumstances! 

  34. Very cute! My daughter is the same way. She’ll talk to anyone, and assume that they want to play with her. Even if they are teenagers. 

  35. I have 3 boys. And although they are each very different they are all pretty outgoing. Sounded like you described my oldest in your post. 😉

  39. This is so good, Shell. I love it! I need this, especially in my work life. I let people walk all over me because I don’t have as much confidence in that environment. But every time they do so, I feel like shit. I’m sick of feeling that way. I want to be confident just like your {baby} boy 😉 Thank you for reminding me of that incredible truth. ~Jenna // A Mama Collective

  40. Great post! I think it is better to treat people better than you expect to be treated. they will treat you better too

  43. Love this post! My son knows the golden rule. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Sometimes they are nice, sometimes they are mean but it doesn’t stop him from being kind.

  44. This couldn’t be more true or more timely! I just wrote a post about my daughter teaching me the art of negotiation. More and more, my kids are teaching me how to follow my dreams. 🙂

  45. He reminds me of my son at that age. They do expect to be the center of the world, lol. But it is true, if you expect the people to treat you well, in most cases they do it.

  46. I love that he expects to be treated that way 🙂 .  I definitely think there is something about how you carry yourself and value yourself as to how others treat you.

  49. Your son looks like he is just radiating good vibes. So cute! I think it’s wonderful that he has this outlook on things. More of us need confidence.

  50. I’ve been learning to be more forgiving and quick to forgive, thanks to my 3 year old’s example 🙂

  51. I absolutely believe we teach people how to treat us. My daughter is much like your son, and she is very popular in her class. Parents comment to me on her confidence — how they as adults are not half as confident as she is at 7 years. But my son is exactly the opposite — and he has a very hard time at school. He’s extremely sensitive and always kind. Some boys take advantage of that – which is not his fault, you just can’t prevent some people from being jerks. But, if he stood up for himself and worried less about pleasing them; they wouldn’t make him a target. That would never happen with his sister — no one dare risk her disdain! LOL

  52. I’ve learned a lot about confidence through my kid. I also love the way she can let things go. If someone doesn’t want to play with her, she just shrugs it off and goes and finds something else to do. I love how they can bounce back.