Did I get your attention?
Do you think this is another sex toy review or that I’m going to talk about some freaky past or even present?
I hate to disappoint, but I’m talking about married sex here today.
Vanessa at Much More than Mommy blogged about it yesterday and Elizabeth from Confessions from a Working Mom did it…though she couldn’t actually say the “s” word. I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while and this seemed like the time.
My blinky ring girls at Bootcamp: we talked about it. Though, don’t worry, I won’t talk about anything that any of you said. Even though I’m convinced one of you is a liar…okay, not really….I’m just jealous. *ahem*
Anyway, watch this be the one time that Hubs decides he’s going to take the time to read my blog and then freak out because I’m talking about our sex life.
But, I think he’ll like what I have to say.
I said I was going to talk about married sex, but more accurately, it should be: married-with-kids sex.
You know the drill here. He works or you do or you both do and you have the kids to take care of, the house to keep up with, and bills to pay. It’s a long day with too much to think about, too much to do. No real free time to just be together and enjoy each other, just a whole lot of being tired and knowing that the next day isn’t going to be any easier.
But, here’s the thing: If my husband wants to have sex, we do.
I don’t say no.
Now, I’m not talking about times when he acts like a total ass and then thinks that we can make love. He’s learned not to even try then.
I’m talking about just your average night when we are both tired, wanting to go to sleep, or we have other things to do, or are just feeling fat or whatever.
On those nights, I don’t ever say no.
Because, really, I never regret it. We never make love and then I think “gee, I wish I hadn’t just pleased my husband.”
Now, I’m not saying that you have to go all out every time and try to have a marathon session. Or that you even have to try to be overly creative.
Your husband likes sex. He’s okay with it not being creative every time. He’s even okay when you think hmm, if I do this, it will all be over in about a minute and then I can go to sleep. You know this, whatever your particular this is. I’m not here to talk about your own personal bag of tricks or my own. *blushes* But, he’s not going to complain about your this.
My husband LOVES that when his friends complain about their wives not wanting to “do it” any more, he never has anything to contribute to that conversation. He just sits there with a smug grin on his face, letting them be jealous of him, knowing what his silence means.
I do believe that it is part of my role as his wife for us to have an intimate relationship.
You notice I’m not talking about my needs or desires here. But, let’s be realistic here. It’s really rare that there’s a time when I want to and he doesn’t. So, it’s sort of a moot point. And, probably tmi, though I’ve passed that point a long time ago, I like making love with my husband. There, I said it. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are supposed to enjoy your husband.
I do think that our marriage is stronger because we have this part of it. No, you can’t save your marriage with sex. But, you certainly won’t hurt it by making love to your husband instead of turning him down.
I’m actually going to issue you a challenge. This is a very personal thing and I’m not going to ask you to report back, though if you want to, please do.
For the next week, try to say yes to your husband. No no’s or headaches or too tireds or waiting until he’s asleep to head to bed. For one week, make lovin’ a priority in your marriage. And just see if it doesn’t make a difference.