Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Don’t Judge in Munchkin Land

Last week, I had a mild panic attack because my internet was not working and I needed to get some work done. Right now. 

I figured that if I packed the DS along with my laptop and iPad, I could probably convince my four year-old to play games for about an hour somewhere in town with free wi-fi.

I grabbed each of us a drink and a treat and we settled in for a bit.

We’d only been there for a few minutes when a group of moms and their kids came in and claimed the four tables beside us.

One of the moms came to the table with some treats while another pulled drinks out from her handy little insulated cooler and pass them out to the toddlers and preschoolers in their group.

She loudly informed the other moms “Only organic for the kids! I would never let them have something like sweet tea!” and then she loudly cleared her throat and jerked her head in the direction of my table, where my preschooler was sucking down a size large raspberry sweet tea.

Now, we are all judgmental about something.

And really, that’s okay.

But, that doesn’t mean we can take that judgement and voice it.

I’d like to present my arguments for why it was perfectly fine for my youngest to be inhaling a sweet tea.

5. This was actually the first time I’d ever ordered my child one.

4. The large was the same price as the small and I figured I’d drink whatever he didn’t.

3. One sweet tea wouldn’t kill him.

2. Desperate times call for desperate measures and mama needed to get some work done.

But, the best reason that Judgey-Pants Mom needed to shut the hell up?

1. We’re in a Dunkin Donuts and her kids were chowing down on munchkins like it was their job.

dunkin donuts munchkins

Comments

  3. My kids have practically been raised on sweet tea (it is the house wine of the South, after all)

    I wonder what that Judgey McJudgerson would have to say about that.

  5. Hahaha! If you are going to voice your opinion, you better be able to back it up with action.  Because yes, of course mini donuts are sugar free and organic 😉 I don’t think I would have been able to not say anything to her.

  6. Bwahahaha! Yep. Those nice, organic Munchkins. Definitely the first thing I think of when I’m looking for some health food. 

    • It cracked me up! Some people will always find something to judge… and without thinking! 

  10. It is the little people that lives in munchkin land……supposedly there were to be about anywhere from 150-500 of them in The wizard of Oz but they had to used children to take some the places of the little people

  11. Ok now that is funny… her kids can’t have sweet tea but they can chow down donuts. Nice. I kinda wish you would have called her out of that. Something like, “Um… yeah, I didn’t know they made organic donuts.”

    • I think I would have, if I hadn’t needed to stay there for a little longer to get work done. Instead, I just laughed at her stupidity. 

    • I was laughing, though. But wanted to get work done more than I wanted to talk to her. 

  13. Haters gonna hate. Some people just need to feel superior to others in order to feel good about themselves even if it is a false sense of superiority. Sorry she yucked on you!

  14. I was all ticked off reading that and got to the end and bust a gut! That’s stinkin’ hysterical!

    • It’s definitely not healthy, but if you are letting your kids have donuts, you don’t really have room to judge! She was cracking me up!

  17. Seriously?! Saying something about your kid drinking tea instead of organic juice when her kids are eating donut holes? That is hilarious. That woman would just have a field day with me. 😉 It is crazy how some people can be.
    Next time ask her what her name is. Then let her know you need to make sure you spell it correctly when you blog about what a butthead she is on your popular blog.

    • LOL It would be different if her kids were chowing down on fruit or something instead, but she really had no room to talk. Plus, people don’t realize that they could be seeing a totally isolated incident. My child wasn’t going to be damaged from ONE sweet tea. People don’t think!

  19. Wow! You’re better than me b/c I would had choice words for her that could only be passed in a note in front of the kids…lol

    • ohh…maybe this is where you pass a note and say “my mother taught me it’s not polite to speak loud enough so that people at other tables can year you.  Bless your heart….”

  20. Moms eating other moms, my biggest pet peeves!!! Mylie only drinks water because it’s what she likes that I actually keep around. At my moms, she learned to drink decaf sweet tea. On occasion, she wants it when we’re out and she gets it. Too much sensory craziness when we’re out for me to even think she’s going to eat food so at least she gets in a few calories. She hasn’t died yet:)

    • Mine usually drink water. Or milk or 100% juice. Rare occasion here for the tea. Cracks me up the assumptions people will jump to! 

  22. LMAO

    I would have totally asked her how she felt about fried cake & why it was morally superior to sweet tea. Holy hell.

    You should see some of the looks I get when I give Klaw Gatorade. Bright red Gatorade. Nothing says “irresponsible mother” like red dye #40. :-/

    • I know it isn’t true for all children, but I seriously can’t give my older son Red Dye #40. My semi hyper kid goes to all out extremes when it is in his system. My younger one – no problem at all. So I do not begrudge any one giving their kids red dye, but will remind my older son that he can’t have it.

      • Oh, I understand. I babysat a girl almost 20 years ago who was super sensitive to it. It was like Jekyll & Hyde. I’m sorry you have to deal with a sensitivity to it, also. I try to avoid it with Klw, in general, but the Gatorades with the high protein amounts all have it.

        Parents just need to calm down and, short of actual abuse, assume other parents know what they’re doing.

  24. Wow! I would have told her there is nothing worse than a hypocritical-crunchy-wannabe. She sounds like a nutcase! 

  27. 1. I’m seriously cracking up.
    2. She was probably a transplanted Yankee. I’m not sure they get sweet tea like we do in the South. (Sorry Northerners)

  28. Every time I judge I wind up being a hypocrite – because at some point, we all do what we say we’re never going to do as parents.  The organic mommy in Dunkin Donuts is proof of that! 

    • I needed to stay there for a while longer. I worried if I opened my mouth, I’d end up feeling like I needed to leave.

  30. I would have been like “well, I would never bring carry-ins into a shop where I am expected to purchase my refreshments.”  Seriously, glass houses much? 

  31. Maybe it’s because I don’t have my Mom-Club members only jacket yet . . . but I still don’t understand how women can be so judgmental over someone else’s parenting choices. 

    That being said, I commend you for not saying something snarky back to her. I would’ve been biting my tongue like crazy! lol 

  32. Oh dear! Raspberry sweet tea is Ash’s very favorite drink. It is almost the only thing we can get that girl to drink. Boy would I be judged while shoving a marshmallow kreme donut down my own throat and washing it bakc with Ash’s drink! 😉

  34. There always seems to be an idiot in the mom groups, I swear! Jokes on her because her stupidity has been exposed to MANY! 

  35. How dare you! Totally just kidding, Shell. Like you said: we all judge about something, but we all also have our own parenting “faults.” Not a single one of us is perfect (and whose version of perfect would we be anyway?)

    Hope they enjoyed that tea :~)

  36. Used to know a very passive aggressive mom. She’d make comments like that all the time. {Notice I said “used to know”:) }

  37. If I had to wager, I’d bet there’s more healthful benefits in sweet tea than munchkins. FWIW, I don’t think I’d have been able to hold my tongue. Shell, you’re a better person than I!

    • I had to stay for a while longer and I was worried I’d feel the need to leave if I spoke up. Or get kicked out of DD for cussing her out. LOL

  39. LOL! What the hell is wrong with people, for reals?

    I thought I was going to have to go all Wayne Brady on a chic at a restaurant because Weston was having a hard time. I was kind of hoping he would throw something at her. Stop sucking at being people, people!

  40. I’m sorry but a sweet tea (iced tea here in Buffalo) is probbaly better than Munchkins, I’m just sayin’.

    • Probably. But either way, as a treat, I think almost anything is okay in moderation.

  42. Did her kids appear to be superior in some way because of her amazing parenting skills? Poor thing, she must be so exhausted from being the perfect mother all the time that she has no energy left for using manners!

  44. Even though I do not have children, the judgy moms always crack me up, since as the oldest of nine kids, I have done a fair amount of baby and childcare, possibly more than some of the first time moms with a 10 month old child… I also get a huge kick out of the ones where their oldest child is, say, 5, and they feel they are qualified to give advice on teens.

    • My oldest is 7 and I still feel like I don’t have much advice to give- b/c all kids are SO different!

  45. Oh my; that is seriously ridiculous! I detest those kind of thinly veiled insults but her obvious hypocrisy just makes the situation even more ludicrous! I do like to feed my gal organic food and we are generally pretty careful about her diet, but I will fully admit she snacked on popcorn and sips of soda (a special treat) during a free movie today (and before noon). And we had a blast! We each have our special treats and exceptions for fun and sharing with our kids, and why some moms feel the need to rain on another mom’s parade is truly a mystery. Kudos to you for finding the humor in her obnoxious behavior.

    • My kids are usually pretty healthy. They love fruit above all other foods and eat a balanced diet. So it’s just amusing to me that someone would judge w/o knowing that it was just a special treat.

  46. OMG really!? In the middle of a Dunkin Donuts she is saying this!? BHAHAHAHAHA! You needed me there to whisper something evil that would have had you laughing helplessly. 😛 I am bad. I know I am. 🙂

  48. OH MY GOSH!!! All she was doing was voicing how oblivious she is to proper nutrition! Erg – it frustrates me that there seem to be so many people like her voicing their opinions. Lol.

  49. I love this post! People can be so judgmental, can’t they? Two weeks ago, I was approached in Dunkin Donuts by some woman because I ordered coffee and I am pregnant. I had to tell her that it was decaf and that my doctor said even regular was fine. Even so, she acted like I was the Devil!

  50. So munchkins are organic?? Who knew? 😉

    It would have taken everything in me to not say something snarky back to her. I commend you for keeping your cool!

    • There was that slight fear that I’d get kicked out of DD for dropping too many f bombs if I opened my mouth.

  51. I hate that sort of thing. I had a mom haughtily talk to me (a hot dog serving mom) about how she would NEVER serve her kids a hot dog.
    Whatever. But it was snowing, and her kids weren’t wearing coats and even the two year old was chewing gum. So I judged back a little.

    • People seem to pick their high horse topics and don’t realize how silly they sound!

      I would have judged the no coat and gum, too. 😉 

  52. LOL!!! You have to be kidding me…. she said that at a freakin’ donut shop!! Now that takes some serious guts… last time I knew donuts at Dunkin’ Donuts were far from organic!

  53. People can be so rude.  Baby Diva is crazy about sweet iced tea, and she pitches fits to have it.  I let her sip a little of my tea.   So what?  I’m 43 years old and my husband is 46, and both of our parents let us drink tea.  In fact, tea was the common beverage back then, and we have college degrees, and are fairly healthy.  In fact, I would rather my child have a little tea over sugary, organic juice and munchkins.  Ha!

  55. lol I have never posted on this website but I had too… I know those judge-y parents and one of them her kids had a cavity and I was like what!  One one day sent otu an email and said, If you think you are going to bring unhealthy foods and drinks…’please let let us all know” LOL

  56. Oh that is just too funny. Like Munchkins are so much better than sweet tea. Some people just need to make themselves feel better even when being ridiculous.

  59. I cannot believe she said that!! Wow is she really that perfect and that much better than every other person out there that she thinks she can do something like that??? Ugh that just makes me sick and mad.
    And too funny that you were in dunkin donuts and their kids were eating donuts- wow. That lady needs a kick.

    • It was such a ridiculous situation. It would almost make sense somewhere else, though probably never appropriate!

  60. Amazing!!! The nerve of some people. Hope he enjoyed every last sip of that iced tea. I happen to love raspberry tea a lot. 🙂

  61. oh my word! What a C U Next Tuesday kind of gal….I can’t believe it…
    I would have turned around and ripped her a new one for being so judgey about me RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY KID!
    and ahhh yes, the organic, all natural munchkin….always a winner

    • Totally cracking up b/c of the C U Next Tuesday thing. I have loved that phrase since Charlotte said it on Sex in the City. Hubs and I call people “Tuesdays” 

  62. Maybe because it was the “hole” of the donut she was confused about it’s nutritional value? I don’t kow grasping at straws here. Ummm People who live in glass houses and all that. And I have to agree with Jennifer I don’t really get sweet tea. I like my iced tea straight up with just a couple of slices of lemon.

  64. Honestly, who the heck cares what your kids are drinking?! My 2 year old drinks sweet tea sometimes, and pop, and kool-aid…the list goes on. So glad they were chowing down the donuts…hilarious 🙂

    • Ok, that first line sounded bad…I meant to say, that nosy, judgy woman should have minded her own business and not paid any attention to what your kids are drinking.
      I’ll stop rambling now.
      xo

  65. As I was reading this, I couldn’t get past the fact that they brought their own drinks to the place and then the Miss Judgey-Pants comment along with the donuts made me belly laugh. I’d rather feed my kid Sweet Tea than be a weird parent. 🙂

  66. No. Really?! Good lord. I can’t understand why people will say something like that when you can clearly hear. Seriously, what’s the point? But to do it in that situation? Ludicrous. I would have been so tempted to say something about how it’s not for her to judge what my child drinks.

    • I was very tempted. Knowing I needed to stay and get work done made me keep my mouth shut.

  68. I don’t think I would’ve been able to stop myself from responding, point blank, “I’m sorry, are you referring to me?” and really put her on the spot. At which point I would’ve continued, “And are those organic Munchkins your kids are eating?”

    I’ll be honest – I’m not judgment-free. I think judgmental thoughts sometimes. I can’t help it – they just fly into my head and BAM! I’ve been judgmental. But I would never voice that judgment unless 1.) I was point-blank asked my opinion of about something with which I disagree (in which case, I’d be honest but diplomatic) or 2.) I saw something that was putting a child directly in harm’s way. And then I’d be completely direct, as opposed to dishing out passive-aggressive bullshit like that mom did. 

    • We all judge about something. I totally get that. I know I do it. But I won’t say anything about it unless someone’s about to be hurt. 

      I kept my mouth shut lest I be kicked out of DD for too many f bombs. 😉 

  69. probably the same women who once told me that eating carrot sticks cancelled out the huge piece of cake (organic I’m sure, LOL) she just ate

  73. I actually called out a mother for doing very similar in a Dunkin’ Donuts the other day . . . I really want to know why some mothers feel the need to put other (anonymous) mothers down.  Is it that she didn’t get enough bullying on the playground growing up?

    I was in a DD to get my coffee (because, damn, let’s just not picture me without coffee).  There was a mother & her son, sharing something fruity and reading a comic book together.  Another two mothers came in, one went on line to get treats for the foursome and the other started passing out sippy cups.  The mother on line called to the mother at the table, asking if she wanted anything to drink, and the mother at the table replied “no, I have water, some of us don’t think sugary drinks are appropriate.”

    I think my response (again, this is pre-coffee) was “some others of us don’t find being judgmental appropriate”

    • Oh, I LOVE it! 

      I really don’t get calling each other out. None of us knows what the circumstances are. It’s different if a child is being hurt, I think, but not the small decisions. 

  74. I hope there really is kharma and somehow that mom reads your blog. That would be awesome.
    I would have loved to lean over and act completely innocent and stupid. “Excuse me, I heard you talking about organic. Do they really have organic Munchkins now? What a great thing for Dunkin’ Donuts to do!”