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November 21, 2011 by: Shell

Dear Santa, Toys NOT to Deliver to My House

My boys have Christmas wish lists longer than they are tall.

It seems they want everything that they see in a store or on tv.

While Santa usually does a great job at bringing them enough toys to make my boys happy while still leaving us room to walk through our house, there are a few toys that Santa needs to know are NOT WELCOME in our home.

1. Stompeez

In case you have missed this infomercial, these are slippers that do things when kids walk in them. Like the mouth opens on the alligator, ears pop up on a bunny, etc. But, my boys don’t even like to wear shoes, let alone slippers. I could see them wearing these for a few minutes and literally STOMPING around my house, getting them to work. Then, the Stompeez would end up in their toy room, just adding to the clutter. All for the low price of $20. No thanks.

2. Doggie Doo

This thing makes “gassy noises” aka farts until poop plops out of its butt. Playdoh poop, but still. And the winner is the one who cleans up after the dog three time. Seriously? Playing with dog poop is fun? My boys already think farts and poop are hilarious. I’m trying to discourage it, not encourage it.

3. Flush! Game

A game where you have to put things into the toilet before it flushes and gets you all wet. I can see my boys trying to play a version of this with the toilet in their bathroom. Plus, imagine all the potty talk this will encourage. Again: NO THANKS.
4. Socker Boppers

Just in case your kids need more encouragement to beat the snot out of each other. Mine certainly don’t.

What is on your list of most undesirable toys this year? 

What Would You Wish For?
The First Thanksgiving

Comments

  1. Singedwingangel says

    November 21, 2011 at 7:22 am

    I could so see my boys playing the commode one, even the big one. I have to say I don't really have a do not bring list. I should count my lucky stars this is the age they have grown past shouldn't I..

  2. Heather says

    November 21, 2011 at 7:31 am

    Ha! I was so making this own list in my head for a post this weekend.

    One of the big things on my list is the "make your own stuffed animal" toy. My Princess is dying for it. I am so not into in it for many reasons. First of all we need more stuffed animals like a hole in the head. Second of all it is one of the toys that is destined to disappoint because it can't be be nearly as good as the commericial makes you believe and third because it looks like it requires a lot of parent (see mom) assistance.

    The doggy poop game – gross!

  3. Alison@Mama Wants This says

    November 21, 2011 at 7:46 am

    The dog poop one made me snort, haha!!

    Anything that makes a racket when a button is pressed, no thank you. Actually, my son has way too many toys as it is, we're probably banning the purchase of more.

  4. JDaniel4's Mom says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:11 am

    I have enough potty issues! I don't want potty games at my house either.

  5. Galit Breen says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:12 am

    Hee! Noted. Oh so very carefully noted! πŸ™‚

  6. Jessica says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:14 am

    Well if you put it in print on your blog Santa is sure to notice. I saw some game this morning where you keep feeding a pig until his belly explodes. Who thinks of these things?

  7. Secret Mom Thoughts says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:28 am

    My kids want those Stompeez too. I totally agree that they would not get worn much.

  8. Dana @ ReallyWWWThinking? says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:40 am

    With the notable exception of some sort of touch screen gadget, if it requires batteries & has a speaker, I do not want it anywhere near my home.

  9. Laura Wright @ The ODD Mom says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:46 am

    I want a pair of Stompeez!!!!

  10. Evonne says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:50 am

    That toilet game would definitely lead to real plumbing problems in my house!

    I recently learned that my MIL bought my daughter an Orbeez Foot Spa. I specifically told my daughter, in front of my MIL, that she was not allowed to have it. This thing has 3500 little beads – help me!

  11. MommaKiss says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:51 am

    I swear I just commented!?

    Was saying the dog crap toy is insane. And my boys want the kidz bop music. Nuh uh.

  12. KH99 says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:53 am

    Those toy makers certainly are obsessed with bodily functions! I don't want anything that makes noises. I also don't want anything not age appropriate. My SIL consistenly buys my son noisy toys that are well beyond his age. WTF am I supposed to do with those? I guess my real issue is the thoughtlessness.

  13. angela says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:59 am

    Santa is not allowed to bring my daughter slutty girl dolls. Thankfully she hasn't discovered them yet πŸ™‚

    Or anything on your list!

  14. kristin @ tlsf says

    November 21, 2011 at 9:07 am

    What is with the dog poop game? My two year old wants it. YUCK!

  15. Ali - My Suitcase Full of Tricks says

    November 21, 2011 at 9:10 am

    I actually think I am getting those stompeez for Justin. The kid loves slippers. However my rule this year is "No toy larger than a bread box." We are over-run with JUNK around here.

  16. Kimberly says

    November 21, 2011 at 9:17 am

    I bought socker boppers for my nephews one year…because my husband and I were childless and thought it would be an awesome idea…then my nephew punched my other nephew in the face and gave him a bloody lip…yea…we were not the awesome Aunt and Uncle that year.
    If Santa brings my son any more stuffed animals I will shoot him.

  17. Diane says

    November 21, 2011 at 9:24 am

    My oldest got those Socker Bopper things one year. Definitely do not recommend. That farting, pooping dog is hysterical but still not something I'd like to see around my house either!

  18. Cindi says

    November 21, 2011 at 9:29 am

    Socker Boppers lasted less than a day in my house! (LoL)

    Seems to be the perfect gift from Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents. Wonder if they're thinking these things are the greatest or, if they're trying to tell us something. LoL

  19. KLZ says

    November 21, 2011 at 9:43 am

    There's a flush game? I'm…stunned…

  20. Crystal says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:00 am

    I don't want those at my house either. I have (hang my head in shame) owned the sockem boppers! Terrible toy! DON'T get them!!

  21. Jacqueline says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:04 am

    Wow, I don't have kids so I have yet to see a few of these games… yes, they made me literally laugh out loud but I would NEVER want my kids playing the poop game or the toilet game! I mean seriously? Why even make stuff like this.

  22. Jennifer says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Bud would LOVE those socker bopper things, but I'm like you. No way. He needs no further encouragement to be violent.

  23. Di says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Please nothing that plays "London Bridge" or any of the annoying V-tech songs/voices.

    PS – sending the hubby into the attic tonight to get the clothes down. He's been working like crazy lately, SORRY!

  24. Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Has the toy industry completely run out of ideas that dog poop & toilets are the best they could come up with? Seriously, ew. I can't blame you for telling Santa "no way!"

  25. Mommy Inconsistent says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:23 am

    I don't want anything with 'lil bits that end up everywhere…like I saw the Kinder Egg Advent calendar…I'm so over the Kinder Egg toys that are played with for a mere minute and then the pieces are everywhere never to be touched again. I'm okay with the chocolate though. hehe

  26. Melanie says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Ha! I'm with you.

    Stompeez and Pop the Pig – that game that Jessica referred to where you feed the pig until his stomach pops are on the top of my list. Pop the Pig? Really? How gross. Though that toilet game is probably just as bad.

  27. Julie says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:37 am

    I didn't realize how lucky I am that my kids are in middle school.

    They want cash for Christmas.

    Because nothing says Yuletide like paper money.

    (Sniff.)

  28. Melissa at Tall Blonde says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:38 am

    Too funny! I heard about a Barbie that comes with a dog that actually poops. That would make my list. Ummmm…no thanks!

  29. TheUnSoccerMom says

    November 21, 2011 at 10:47 am

    oh.my.goodness. I have GOT to get my husband that pooping dog!!! hahahaha!!!

    Thankfully, we really don't have toys in our house anymore… unless you count all of my hubbys Star Wars dolls, ummm I mean, Action Figures. ;o)

  30. Natalie says

    November 21, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Um I totally agree…I wouldn't want any of those either!

  31. Tracy says

    November 21, 2011 at 11:46 am

    When I first saw that dog poop game my mouth fell open, and I'm not easily shocked. SO VILE. Also? Stompies? My daughter wants them. Poor kid.

  32. Paula @ Simply Sandwich says

    November 21, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Oh my goodness, I am so glad I am past that toy stage. A dog poop game, really??

    I am finding that the older my kidlets get, the more expensive the toys are. Case in point: iPhone 4s is on the list! πŸ™

  33. Nicole says

    November 21, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Those four things would not be on my list either. We have enough real farting around here, we don't need a game that farts.

  34. VandyJ says

    November 21, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Since picking up real dog poop is one of Turbo's chores, I know the doggy poop game is most definitely not on his list.
    And since Bruiser loves making noise, any toy that makes an excessive amount of repeated noise is NOT on the list.

  35. Mom of 12 says

    November 21, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    We don't actually let our kids ask for anything… we just give them what we want them to have. That doesn't stop my oldest daughter (who is married and has a family of her own) from looking for the most irritating toys she can find just to annoy me!
    Sandy

  36. JanMary @ www.janmary.com says

    November 21, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    I am HIDING this list from my 7 year old son – he would LOVE them all!

    Who thinks these toys are going to be loved by the parents?!!

    These are the kind of ones you would buy for the child of someone you didn't really like πŸ™‚

  37. MiMi says

    November 21, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    There are SO many stupid toys out this year that I'm NOT getting!

  38. Grumpy Grateful Mom says

    November 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Haha! My toddler already plays a real version of the toilet game, though he likes to get wet.

  39. The Mommyologist says

    November 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    Oh yeah. I don't want those in my house either. LOL.

  40. Jayme says

    November 21, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    Anything messy, noisy, with small parts, or requiring batteries is off my list LOL

  41. Jayme says

    November 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    OH! And for the past couple of years my girls asked for BabyAlive. I always said no, because we've got two alive babies… and if they want to change diapers they can do so on a real kid ROFL

  42. Jack says

    November 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    My friends and family know that they cannot give my children Chanukah gifts that make noise or I will hire a marching band to play outside their window every day for a month.

  43. John says

    November 21, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    God – I'm still very much in the "I hope my kids understand what the heck is going on during Christmas" phase.

    While I believe that farts are funny (hey, I'm a perpetual 12 year old guy, this isn't a surprise to anyone), I think that dog game would make me very stabby.

    I only want things that you can look at, quietly, and appreciate from afar. Very afar.

  44. Jenny says

    November 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Good thing Will hasn't seen that farting toy because he would want it! He to says he wants everything he sees. It's getting kind of annoying but I am sure I did this to my parents as well.

  45. From Tracie says

    November 21, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    There are no pooping games or toys at my house. ever.

    I cleaned up too much real poop when my little one was littler to ever think that is a fun idea.

    Scary scary toys.

  46. My Mercurial Nature says

    November 21, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    I must make sure that my children NEVER see any of these products!

  47. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says

    November 21, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    OMG, I can't believe that doggie doo doo toy. I so would've wanted that as a kid!

  48. Oka says

    November 21, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    That exploding pig game I have seen on tv turned my tummy.

  49. Hines-Sight says

    November 21, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    I adore this list. So funny.

    There are some crappy things (pardon the pun) out there.

    These are not on my list either.

  50. Lizbeth says

    November 21, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    They have this thing that makes slushies. It looks like a nightmare in a box.

    NO THANK YOU.

  51. Stephanie says

    November 21, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    I am totally with you on all of these things. There are some ridiculous items for sale out there!

  52. Barbara says

    November 21, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Oh my, these are things I wouldn't want santa to bring either! What is going on with toys these days?

  53. Jessica says

    November 21, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    This year I don't really want Santa to deliver any toys. My house is already filled with enough of them.

  54. Kmama says

    November 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    I totally agree on the Doggie Doo and the Flush game. Buddy asks for both when the commercials come on and I tell him no every time!

  55. Megan (Best of Fates) says

    November 21, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I have never before heard of Stompeez, but I must have them.

    MUST. HAVE. THEM.

    My life will just change for the better, I can sense it.

  56. The Preppy Girl in Pink says

    November 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Oh my! I didn't even know these toys existed. I'm glad they didn't make it on my girls' lists.
    I would be thrilled if Santa left anything that is from EasyBake on the sleigh. If they want to bake, they can bake with me. It's a lot more fun, tastes a whole better and is sooo much cheaper to make a cake that lasts for several desserts than it is to buy one packet that serves 2 kids in one sitting!

  57. championm2000 says

    November 21, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    My sister has bought my son a music set (think drums, maraca, triangle, tambourine) for Christmas.

    Thank you for this list. In retalition, my nephew may just be getting Socker Boppers from Aunt Melissa πŸ™‚

    One good gift deserves another…

  58. Charlotte says

    November 21, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    WHAT!?!? LOL, I can't believe that any of these games seriously exist. Especially the dog poop one. Gross!

  59. Adrienne says

    November 21, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ditto! Great post. My youngest is asking for those dumb stoppies, and I keep ignoring him!

  60. FamilyFoodFitnessandFun says

    November 21, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Ummmm…ya. Any potty related toy is not welcome in our house either. I wipe enough butts and clean up enough poop! Anything that makes noise is not welcome in our house. I guess that includes pretty much everything! UGH.

  61. Mommy2Β’ says

    November 21, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    Oh Dear Lord… the only thing that cold make those slippers worse is if they made a noise with every step. Although, maybe they do and I just missed that. And that dog pooping toy… Ummm, ya… NO THANK YOU!!

  62. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    Hey, if the dog poop game catches on, maybe in the future there will be less people letting their dogs crap in other peoples' yards without cleaning it up. Bright side? No? Still gross? Yeah.

  63. Rach (DonutsMama) says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    Are you kidding me?? Who comes up with this! Doggy Doo? That's just wrong!

  64. RoryBore says

    November 21, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    play-doh doggie poo…what will they think of next?

    my 4 yr old girl wants those Monster Hight dolls…I already gave in on the Bratz babies, but those ones just creep me out!

  65. Kimberly says

    November 21, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    Doggie Doo and Flush?? No thank you. My kids don't need anymore encouragement in the bodily functions talk.

  66. Jessica {Team Rasler} says

    November 22, 2011 at 3:04 am

    Wow, it's like the people who invented these love children and hate parents! The Flushi game is particularly unwelcome here as we are trying to nip the toilet talking in the bud.

  67. Shannon says

    November 22, 2011 at 9:02 am

    I saw the Doggie Doo game for the first time over the weekend while out shopping. I just pray my kids haven't heard of it yet.

  68. adashofdomestic says

    November 22, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Those toys are horrible. Srsly. Mine are old enough that they want computers and iPods and guitar amplifiers.

    A Santa no-no? A piano style keyboard or drums.

  69. Robin | Farewell, Stranger says

    November 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

    Oh my god. I haven't even heard of those but they would definitely be on my list. Seriously, who makes this stuff?

  70. Carolyn says

    November 22, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    I just had to share this on FB, I agree with every single one you listed. And the other toys not welcome…
    Toys with more than 5 pieces.
    Toys with loud loud noises.
    Toys that can be turned into weapons, i.e. hitting sticks.

  71. Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) says

    November 22, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Wow. I wouldn't want any of THOSE in my house. I know that.

    ANd I could see my boy getting freaked out by the slippers.

  72. Lourie says

    December 6, 2011 at 10:56 am

    OMG!!! So sad and sorry I missed this. I have never heard of most of these. hahaha. And yeah. No thank you! The soccer boppers I have seen. And no.

  73. A Mother's Thoughts says

    December 7, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    Man your list cracks me up!! You can totally tell that it is a list for boys!! My rule is no small toys that have hundreds of parts. You are probably the lucky one that cleans the mess up at your house too!! lol

    Lynn

Trackbacks

  1. Spoiling Your Kids at Christmas says:
    December 14, 2011 at 10:15 am

    […] be the only presents under the tree. I might even be tempted to throw in a few of the least desirable Christmas gifts under the tree, too, just to make the boys smile. We might have a mountain of gifts for each kid to […]

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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