I’m SO excited for you to meet this week’s BFF. We have followed each other’s blogs almost since the beginning and eventually figured out that we have so much in common that we might as well be sisters. I even refer to her as my bloggy sis.
The Mommyologist is on a mission to bring Mom Sexy back. She has such an honest voice and makes me laugh! She’s also earned some really fabulous honors, too. If you aren’t reading her already, you are seriously missing out. I never miss a single post of hers!
We all know how awesome Shell is…but did you know that besides being a total sweetheart, an awesome blogger, and a great friend, she is also an inventor? That’s right…Shell has invented this great little word that I’ve used in a sentence on more than one occasion:
Shell’s definition of motherbitch is: what the mean girls of junior high turn into when they age and procreate.
In honor of rising above motherbitches everywhere, I’ve written a short list of what constitutes being labeled as a motherbitch. Enjoy.
You Might Be A Motherbitch…
– If my kid picks his nose and hands me a booger and I don’t even flinch for one second and you look at the two of us with disgust…you might be a motherbitch.
– If your house is like a freakin’ museum and you invite my 4-year old over for a playdate and he accidentally knocks over some shitty looking china figurine that you’ve conveniently placed on an end table and you get pissed when he knocks it over even though he wouldn’t have knocked it over if you’d been smart enough to put it somewhere a bit higher…you might be a motherbitch.
– If you are super duper sweet to a mom friend’s face and then do nothing but talk shit about her once she walks away…you might be a motherbitch.
– If you criticize another mother for her decision to stay at home with her kids, go to work, work from home, work part-time away from home, etc…you might be a motherbitch.
– If a new mother vents to you about how exhausted and overwhelmed she is with her newborn and you look her her with a snarky smile and say, “Oh, we never had that problem with our little Suzy Freakin’ Sunshine.”…you might be a motherbitch.
– If you get embarrassed talking about poop with other moms, when everyone knows that poop is the universal mom-uniter…you might be a motherbitch.
– If one of your friends bends down to tie her kid’s shoe and in the process exposes her butt crack and thong hanging out of her low rise jeans and you don’t either step in front of her so no one will see or tell her to get up right away…you might be a motherbitch.
– If you don’t admit that your life has changed…like not even one little bit, after having a child, you are definitely a motherbitch.
A huge thanks to Shell for giving me permission to use her word for this post. Now, just to show you that I’m not a motherbitch, I’m going to go wipe my son’s ass since he’s yelling at me from the bathroom as I finish writing this.
LOVE it!!! Please leave the Mommyologist some comment love here and then go follow her FABULOUS blog if you don’t already!