Oh, am I excited for this week’s Blog Friend Feature! I actually did a dorky squeeeee and clapped my hands when she agreed to be BFF this week. Because she is one of the most hilarious and straight-forward blogging mamas around. I know that when I go to her blog, I’m going to laugh! And think about how much fun she and I would have hanging out together.
Meet Sandra of Absolutely Narcissism:
I Am Not a Disney Mom
What is a Disney Mom you wonder?
A Disney Mom is one of those mothers who transforms even the most fabulous childhood affairs into an extravaganza.
For instance, a sleepover, which is already fun because it’s a time when two or more children get to be together overnight, thus providing them with lots and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots…well you get the idea…of extra time together, is made even more fun when Disney Mom breaks out cupcakes at midnight and says, “Let’s decorate them!”
Disney Mom does not consider summer vacation to be fun simply because it’s summer vacation.
Disney Mom transforms every summer day into Disney World, by insuring that there are plenty of field trips: public pools, water slides, beach days, amusement parks…
If the outing includes cotton candy, then even better.
Despite her fatigue (because she was up till 3am with the sleepover girls giving them mani/pedis), the next morning, Disney Mom will chirp, “Let’s make homemade cinnamon buns for breakfast!”
I am not a Disney Mom.
I think summer vacation is exciting enough due to the simple fact that the kids are NOT in school.
Because the alternative to NOT being in school is BEING IN SCHOOL.
See. Nothing but fun fun fun when I theorize it, right.
Here’s the thing: I know that my intense negative feelings towards Disney Mom are not Disney Mom’s issue.
They are completely and totally my own.
Because although I am NOT Disney Mom, I AM Competitive Mom.
I am the mother who will not be outdone.
Oh, I will throw a fabulous sleepover too! I will be creative and fun as well!
I will have those kids in the pool at midnight, swimming with glow sticks under the water.
I will be filling up water guns for the entire neighbourhood, and orchestrating the water fight of the CENTURY!
But contrary to Disney Mom, shortly into my endeavour to outdo my nemesis, my legs will get weak, my smile will falter, and I may drool.
And you can bet, I will inadvertently teach the children a four letter word.
But this rivalry has got to stop.
I can’t win.
Nobody can beat Disney Mom.
And if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
So the next time Disney Mom is out running around with the kids, supplying water balloons, and squealing with joy at how much fun the children are having, I’m going to help her.
I’m going to be her ally.
When she’s not looking, I’m going to take the hose, and spray the crap out of her.