In the few months that I’ve been a mom, I’ve learned a lot, grown a lot, and even impressed myself from time to time. Looking back now, I laugh out loud when I remember how daunting the thought of diaper changing was before Baby arrived. If I had only known then … that diapers, even dirty-grisly-blow outs, would be the easy part!
Mothering is a perpetual job, from worrying to loving, one we’ll all likely take with us into the next life. It’s amazing, rewarding, and … hard. I love my little girl. I love all of the new experiences motherhood has brought into my life. Well, most of them anyway. But, I do feel pretty overwhelmed a lot of the time. Some days it’s just a thought in the back of my head. Other days, I feel like I’m drinking from the fire hose (too bad those hydrants aren’t stocked with a good pinot).
Seriously though, lately I’ve been wondering … is it ever enough?! Do we, as mothers, ever just sit back and feel like we have all of our bases covered? Is there ever a moment where we aren’t frantically running through the endless checklist in our heads? I’m not talking about feeling like our job is ‘finished,’ but whether or not we ever have the ability to take a deep breath without feeling guilty for taking that split second for ourselves.
Forget diapers, feedings, teething, and naps. That too is the easy part. My baby is a BPA-free bottle drinking, EWG-approved sunscreen wearing, organic homemade baby food eating, possibly about to be cloth diaper wearing child. I’m doing my best to teach her English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. Shapes, Colors, Numbers, Animals. All while working a full-time job.
I actually just cut out 50 damn faces of people with varying ages, genders, and ethnic backgrounds for a homemade book of ‘Faces’ to increase her chances of maintaining good facial recognition skills into adulthood, all because I read an article that this peaks at 6-months and wanes at 9-months.
If my seven-MONTH-old isn’t burnt out by the time she hits pre-school, I just might be!
Believe me, I love doing a lot of these things. I love to cook, so making my own baby food was a no-brainer. Even with all that I do, I still feel like I could/should be doing more. Shouldn’t I learn to sew and make Baby’s clothes? Should I be making more of an effort to stay at home with her? Day care socializes her, but would she get more/better/happier attention if she had me one-on-one all-day-long?
Agh! The questions. The thoughts. So many things run through my mind all day long, every single day. Maybe this is just the plight of a new mom, and I’ll know peace of mind again one day soon (if 18 years from now is soon???). But, I’m thinking that we all go through this. Maybe you’re not all as neurotic as me. Maybe you all have everything figured out. If you do, could you please email me? Immediately! Thanks!
Don’t you just love her? You can tell she’s trying her best but also that she’d never be one of those moms who annoys you with telling you that her way is the only way. A very real mom. One I’d kick back with at the end of a busy day and drink a glass of wine with as we laughed over the crazy things that happened during our days.
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