I’ve been at this Mommy thing for going on 9 years and with 3 children, I’ve had my share of the wild adventures of child rearing. (or maybe that’s just my family) I’ve learned more as a mother than I ever did in 17 years of school. (I was on the 5-yr plan in college.)
You know the lessons I’m talking about; hold your boy baby’s tallytail (that’s what we call it) down when you change his diaper, how to swaddle your baby, how to pull off Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny & the Tooth Fairy, green foods cause green poop, the pediatrician’s phone number and how fast you can get there, the kind of stuff all new mommies learn.
But I want to share with y’all the things they don’t tell you. (I don’t actually know who they are, but just go with me on this.) This is the stuff you have to learn from experience. All you new mommies or mommies to be take notes.
10 Lessons I’ve Learned as a Mother
1. How to eat an entire meal in under 5 minutes while also feeding 3 children.
2. Not everyone enjoys sleep as much as you do did. And you CAN survive without it.
3. Never live in a house without a kitchen door. with a lock.
4. If you ever want to talk on the phone again, you must install a soundproof phone booth. with a lock.
5. The person that you couldn’t live without is the same person who you threaten to drop off at the orphanage. daily.
6. You CAN look at & even clean up puke without vomiting yourself. among other things.
7. Injuries often hurt you worse than your child. along with shots. and stitches/staples. and broken hearts. even tummy aches.
8. You will gain a new appreciation for cartoons. and maybe pick up a little Spanish. or Chinese.