Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Because I Need to Put It Out There

I rolled my eyes at New Year’s Resolutions last year. Knowing that the only thing I could accurately predict is that things would be different come the new year and that I needed to roll with the changes.

And while I still agree with that thought- and know that some changes bring positivity and some I kick and scream and fight against- I’ve realized that I need to be more intentional about what sort of change I want to see, so resolutions are a must for me. I need to put my goals out there so I’ll actually do them!

2014

No more yelling at my kids. This is one I’ve thought about so many times. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve written about not wanting to be a yelling mom. And yet, I keep doing it. But I wasn’t able to scream over the holiday. I was so sick during Christmas week that it was a miracle I was even awake for any of it- I had no voice, so it was impossible to scream. And not being able to made me really think about how much I do yell.

When I told Hubs this one, he laughed and asked if this meant I was just going to tell him to go yell at the kids. But this resolution doesn’t mean that I won’t discipline my kids or that I’ll stop telling them no. It just means that my tone will change. I don’t want them to look back on their childhoods and only remember that their mama was constantly yelling at them. I can still parent without the need for yelling. It’s been three weeks and I can honestly tell you that I feel less stressed and I’ve beat myself up less often about crappy parenting.  I’ve been checking out The Orange Rhino Challenge for inspiration.

Get back in shape. I’m short. So when I gain weight, it’s majorly noticeable. And while you probably wouldn’t call me chubby if you saw me, I feel it. And I hate this feeling. I did nothing but gain this past fall and winter and am at my heaviest adult weight(excepting pregnancies). I need to start exercising on a regular basis again and eating better. If you know of any resources for healthy yet still affordable meals, I’d love if you left me a link in the comments!

Get a job/find more projects. I still have a few small projects I’m working on, but my biggest and most time-consuming projects ended this past fall. We were used to being a two income family and it’s been rough to go back to a one income(or one and a third, I guess). I love the work I’ve done for companies, building up their social media presence and working on blogger outreach. But, I need to find new projects or figure out some other work to do.

Make this house my home. Last Spring, we finally bought our first home. For the many, many years before that, every place we lived was just temporary and there wasn’t  much motivation to settle in. We’ve made some strides toward really making this place ours, but I want to do more(like hanging pictures!).

Go back to church. About a year and a half ago, we stopped going to church on a regular basis. There’s a story behind it that I might share for a Pour Your Heart Out, but it’s been long enough. I don’t want to just go for holidays, I want to feel like I belong to a church.

What are your New Year’s Resolutions?

Comments

  1. It will be fun to add those personal touches to make your house all homey and “yours”. I didn’t realize things had changed on the work front; I’m sorry about that. 🙁   Happy New Year, sweets!

    • We’ve done some things around the house so it feels like ours, but none of the little touches- I want to do that! A lot of the time, the projects I take on are short term, but I’ve usually been able to add a new one when each ends, but haven’t had luck lately. 🙁

  2. CHANGE is my word for 2014 too. Embracing change, accepting change, instead of fighting change. (I posted all about my resolution for change last week.)

    Although I’d love to stop yelling, too.

    Just keep chanting “change is good, change is good…”

    • Will have to check out your post!
      I’m not completely confident I can totally stop yelling, but I figure if I am for not yelling at all, it will help me cut back.

  3. I know what you mean about yelling. I do it too much too. I’d like to do less of it. I think for me to get there is going to take balance, because my life is always so hectic, I have a mountain of stress. Less stress = less yelling, right? I’ve been thinking about words for this year, and balance is going to be one of them. 

  4. I feel the weight gain too so that’s one of my goals. I was working out great before the holidays but slid off track so trying to work out 3-5 times a week. Also, I want to be better about yelling as well. I learned a great tip that’s helped me– when I want to yell, I get close to them and speak really softly or even whisper. It throws the kids for a loop too and has worked pretty well!

    • When I had more free time this fall, instead of exercising, I started baking. And reading more. So I was eating sweets and sitting on my butt= not a good combination. But I worked out this morning and am aiming to make it a habit.
      I need to try the whispering thing. I’ve been taking a deep breath first and that’s helping.

  5. Those are some great resolution and I completely agree with the yelling. I don’t want my son to remember that from his childhood. 

    • That is really what hit me. I don’t want my boys looking back and only thinking of the yelling.

  6. 4 of the 5 of your resolutions are mine too! The only one that’s different is that I’m cutting back on work/computer time instead of taking on more.

    Off to check out the Orange Rhino Challenge because I NEED that!

    • Well, I still want to keep a balance, but I need to find more work. Gotta pay the bills. 😉
      The Orange Rhino Challenge is a great site. I’ve been reading for a long time but finally decided to take the plunge and do it.

  7. I constantly battle to keep my weight from changing. I’d love it to go down, but I’m preventing it from going up. Good luck on your changes in 2014!

    • Usually, I just work on keeping it the same. Unfortunately, I used my work-free time this fall to bake. A lot. And eat what I baked!

  8. Shell- We’ve lived in our house (new) for 18 months… and have NO photos on the walls! My goal this year is to make our house feel more like our HOME too!

    • Oh, that makes me feel better! My younger brother sent me a bunch of picture frames for Christmas so I need to get hanging!

    • My oldest ran his first 5K last month and will be running another in the Spring. I should attempt to run with him at his second one. His dad did the first with him(well, sort of with him- he got smoked by our child!).

  10. Shell – I’m right there with you on working out…I need to start doing this for ME and to feel better. Sorry about the work situation, you know I’ll keep you in mind if I hear of anything! XO

    • I feel so much better when I’m in better shape. And it really doesn’t take that much out of my day. I have no excuses.

      Thanks, girl, I appreciate any leads!

  11. I’ve never been good at New Year’s resolutions. That’s why a few years ago I started doing a word or theme for the year. This year mine will be finish. I want to actually finish one of the many things I’ve started.

    • I love that word. I learned last year that I have to be a little more specific or I won’t get things done. Though maybe if I said finish, I’d get mine done, too. 😉

  13. Getting healthier is my top resolution for this year. I need to lose weight and get in better shape – especially now with two boys to chase!

    • You would think all that running around would mean we don’t even have to think about staying in shape. But nope, hasn’t worked that way for me!

  14. Ugh, I yell too much, too.  Sometimes I hear the voice coming out of my mouth and it’s like it belongs to someone else, because I couldn’t possibly be yelling that much, right?  I’ve been trying to be more conscious of it.  It’s hard. 

    • It is hard. I started to yell at one of my boys today, but stopped myself after two words.

  15. Oh I need to join you with the yelling one- I never like how it feels doing it and it rarely really works so I just want to stop all together.  I made it back to my workout class for the first time since March!  Felt so good to go

    • I hate how it feels after I’ve yelled at my kids. There’s always a better way I could have handled it. I’m doing pretty good on that so far, though. Just thinking about it and being aware helps.

  16. Oh the yelling one! Me too Shell, me too. I have been actively working on this one but sometimes it just pops out.

    But I do think that putting goals out there make them a little more real somehow. Best of luck to you on your goals! 🙂

    • Agreed. If I don’t say what they are, I feel like I don’t have to stick to them!
      I started to yell at one of my boys this afternoon, but I managed to stop. It’s so hard.

      • It is hard! And sometimes while I am in the middle yelling I will think Anna, You need to stop, but then the devil on my shoulder tells me I have a good reason. It can be so very hard.

  17. To be honest, I’ve not had the time to actually sit down and focus on making resolutions. I already feel like the year is flying, haha.

    • Sometimes I end up doing my goals in September. The back-to-school time feels more like a new year to me!

  18. Great goals!!  Some of mine are very similar.  We also moved into a new home a year ago and I’m trying to make it much more homey.  We usually end up waiting until right before we are going to sell or rent a house to fix it up, but this time I want to LIVE in the nice house!

    • We have moved so much. When we moved here, I said I never, ever want to move again. Unless we hit the lottery and then a move wouldn’t be such a pain!

    • I’m trying to put it into my daily schedule, right after I drop the boys off at school. I think if I wait til later, I’ll never get around to it. But today was just day 1, so we’ll see how it goes!

      That recipe sounds so good. I think I’m going to try it next week- thanks!

  21. Those are such good goals, Shell. I have missed you and I am SO sorry you were so sick!! Awful.

    Perhaps you can share that post over at my place instead of Pour Your Heart Out? Just sayin’!!

    I am conjuring up a post for your PYHO when you want it!!!

    Here’s to all of those endeavors for YOU and many of them for ME too in 2014- XO

    • I was like a zombie. I fell asleep at 6pm on Christmas Day and woke up at 11am the next day- and then only because my husband was running around, getting the kids dressed and ready to go out the door for mil’s birthday lunch. It was definitely not my favorite way to spend a holiday.

      Here’s to a great 2014 for us both! xo

  22. I’ve never been one for resolutions. However this year I decided I’d try a goal. I want to run 400 miles in 2014. 
    The other thing I want to try? Less yelling. 
    Looks like we have the same goal, and so far, it is also going well for me.

    • Wow, 400 miles is impressive!
      Less yelling is going great over here, too. I think just making the decision not to and being more aware is helping me a lot.

  23. YES – getting back in shape. My number one rule now, no sitting at the computer. standing, plies – anything to keep this body moving and not gaining anymore weight! 

    • That’s a smart way to do it! I’m limiting my time on the computer now. Unless I have a project or something I have to do for work… plus a little bit of blogging time- the computer is closed.

  24. Those are good changes, Shell.
    Not yelling is one of my to-dos this year. I really hate doing it, and I’m pretty sure the kids are over it. Here’s to a no-yelling year!

    • I know my kids are over it. And really, it doesn’t even work. I’ve been doing great so far. I love the Orange Rhino for inspiration, if you are looking for some.

  25. These all sound like great changes. The yelling is a big one for me. I need to really work on it. I’m afraid my kids aren’t going to listen in the future if someone isn’t raising their voice.

    • It seems like the yelling doesn’t really even work with my boys anyway. This is one I really hope I can stick with.

  26. I already need to reel in my patience with the boys bc I constantly feel like I am constantly a referee, and I am sure it doesn’t get easier. I hope you figure out your job situation….I know you will!

    • I have to remind myself that mine are now old enough to work a lot of it out themselves. Unless there’s blood. That part was harder when they were younger.

  27. I’m doing the Orange Rhino challenge, too!!! Even Gia knows about it. Whenever I start to yell, she’ll say very quietly, “Don’t forget the orange rhino, Mommy.” I want to get a job, make this house a home and go to church more often, too.

    • Oh, that’s awesome! I haven’t told my kids about it. I admit, I’m a little afraid they’ll take advantage and not understand that no yelling doesn’t mean I won’t still correct their behavior and that they can still get in trouble!

  28. I also would like to yell less at my kids and be more positive with my parenting. I’ve also started to make our home more homey.  It just makes you feel better!

    • It really does make it feel so much better when you start making a house your own. I think I’m so used to moving all the time that I almost don’t know what to do with myself!

  29. we are awful about hanging things on walls.  i am anxious about committing to holes in our plaster walls and hubby just wants my input.  we’ve gotten a few things up after 8 1/2 years LOL

    • I don’t want my kids to look back and think that all I did was yell. So I’m changing it.

  31. I love that you put your resolutions out there! I want to do #1, too. It is a change I really need to make. I came from a screamy family so I think it just comes naturally to me. Ugh. I hate it. I’m going to start being MUCH more conscious of this!! Good luck with all your goals fro 2014!  –Lisa

    • I feel more accountable if I put my resolutions out there. My family really weren’t screamers, not really sure why I turned into one, but I really want to stop.

    • I got rid of mine, too. I’ve been doing Zumba on the xbox and hope to get back to the yoga studio.

  33. Totally understand you! I am short too (5ft) and when I gain weight, there is now where for it go!! So I constantly have to be careful. When I have a doughnut you can see it the next day!

    • Isn’t it awful? Everything shows so much more. My tall sil could gain 20 pounds and you’d never know it. I gain 20 and I look like I’m 9 months pregnant.

  35. I think going back to church is a wonderful idea!! When I finally found my church I felt like I was alive inside and that helped everything else in my life!

    • I might need to try a different church. Though we liked our old one, we weren’t in love with it.

  36. Finding a job with more stability is definitely on my list for this year. I am SUCH a yeller, even without kids, so definitely wishing you the best of luck with that one! Happy New Year! 🙂 

  37. First of all Shell, I just wanted to tell you what a lovely person you are. I’m not sure why this post in particular prompted me to tell you that, but there it is! 🙂

    Goals. I’m afraid of goals. I think I want to start running more this year. I’m afraid of hurting my knees and hips because I’m overweight but I need to get over the fear and just do it. That’s probably good enough for me – just one goal.

    • Thank you so much, Jennie. xo

      My oldest wants me to run with him and I’m trying to talk myself into it. But I know he’ll just leave me in the dust!

    • Thanks, Angela! Sometimes I set my goals in January and other times, September feels like a good new start.

  39. These are great resolutions – and totally possible! I wish you the best of luck! ((Especially with the yelling. It’s hard to not get caught up in those crazy emotions that children bring out, isn’t it?,))

  40. I also usually role my eyes are resolutions – but this year I also have a few, in addition to a word to live by. 

  41. I’ve lived in this house for almost 3 years… and still no photos on the wall! LOL And the church thing? IT really feels good to belong to one! I stopped going for a while, but I missed it, a lot more than I expected! 

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