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Things I Can't Say

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A Young Woman’s Stupidity

This is a story that took place almost 11 years ago.  I can count on one hand those who have heard it before. Looking back, it seems like a lifetime ago and like it happened to an entirely different person. I’m much stronger than this now. Or hopefully, wiser.

Fall 2000

I had just moved to upstate New York, without a job.  But, there was a teacher shortage, especially in inner-city City*, so I was confident that I could find a position.

Armed with my gray silk suit with a soft pink shell underneath, I tried to radiate confidence.  There were so many people applying that Central Office had people interviewing candidates who usually didn’t do so.  Looking back, I think they were told to weed out the crazies and obvious incompetents, but to put a gold star “hire him/her” sticker on everyone else’s resume.

I was called back to interview with Nick*.  He put me instantly at ease and we joked, laughed and flirted through the interview. I left feeling incredibly confident.  I dashed off a quick thank you note to Nick and dropped it in the mail the next day(aaah, the days before email was used for everything).

Two weeks later, I still hadn’t heard anything and I was starting to get worried.

But, then, I got a message from Nick- before cell phones were so common, of course, so the message was on my answering machine. He was calling to check up on me, to see if I’d heard anything from Central Office yet.  That he could tell I would be an amazing edition to the school system.

I called him back and we chatted for a while.  He said that he would talk to people at Central Office for me and see what he could do. He knew they were still hiring teachers, so he told me not to worry.

The next day, Nick called me back and said that he had an interesting opportunity for me.  Because there were so many first year teachers that year, the mentor teachers would be really busy observing their interns.  Mentor teachers needed to observe their interns around 25x/year.  Central Office was trying something new and hiring a few substitute teachers specifically to cover the mentor teachers’ classrooms while they observed.

Each of us “Career in Teaching” substitutes would be assigned a group of mentor teachers, who would have to call us in advance to schedule time with us, and each mentor teacher could only request 1 hour of our time per visit.  Sometimes we’d have to go to multiple schools in one day, other days we might work with a few teachers in the same school, and other days, we might just have to work an hour. Or, if no one needed us that day, we’d have the day off.  No one was allowed to call us in the morning and ask if we could come in that day: we were to tell them we were busy, even if we weren’t, if they tried that.

We’d get to know the kids and the teachers because it would be the same ones all year. And we’d still get paid the same as if we were a full-time teacher.  Where the hell is this job now? Damn, would that be nice.

I wasn’t really sure because I wanted a classroom of my own since that was what my previous experience was. I’d never substituted before and wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of being a sub.

But, Nick was very convincing, saying that it would be a good way for me to get to know more of the schools in the district. All of us CIT subs would be guaranteed the school and grade level we wanted for the next school year.  He also said that he would be the one leading this new program and would serve as my mentor.

He talked me into it. Especially because I was nervous about the possibility that I might not get a job at all and then I’d end up being a regular on-call substitute: having to wait until each morning to see if I would be working, making a lot less money, and having no benefits.

So, I agreed.

Each week, Nick, the two other CIT subs, and I would have a meeting to talk about how things were going. We shared horror stories and tips for getting through. We also discussed the different schools.

Nick and I became friends. We talked about the city(which I didn’t like) and even my relationship. Nick knew I had moved there to be with X, and he would ask me how things were going. He started calling me a few times each week, just to chat.

I was happy to have a friend.

If you already see where this is going, you are much smarter than I was back then.

Wednesday’s Pour Your Heart Out will continue this story.

*Not his real name and I’d prefer not to mention the exact city, as “Nick” still teaches there, as far as I’m aware. And despite what ended up happening, I do believe he is a good teacher. And I chose to handle it in my own way, so I’d hate to say something that would cause him problems at this point.

Comments

  3. Yes waiting to get the rest of the story on Wed…you've got me ready to turn the page as if I was reading a book! 🙂

  5. Shell! Talk about a cliffhanger! I am sorry that you seem to have encountered a Grade A d-bag. (at least I'm assuming things didn't end well!)

  6. Is it Wednesday yet? Nick sounds like a creeper – but then again that's what I usually was attracted to!

  7. ahh well leave us hanging then lol 🙂
    Im a regular sub now.. it sucks sometimes for sure!

  11. I don't know that it would be stupidity – just the learning curve called life. I know I made some not so smart decisions in those volatile years… but that was the "broken road"

  12. Kudos on the perfect cliffhanger…but you're killing me! Waiting for Wednesday…

  13. I don't remember this one…you must have posted it shortly before I was following. I can't wait for part 2.

  15. I hate cliff hangers!

    Nick doesn't sound like he turned out to be a great guy. I guess I'll have to wait for Wednesday to find out.

  16. I probably would have done the same thing, you thought it was a friend you could trust in a big city.

    Can't wait to hear the rest, I just love your cliff hangers!

  17. Oh, man, the young are so unaware.

    I have a story, too.

    But I'll wait for yours.

    So sorry…

  18. MEN!
    I swear I've met a lot of men like Nick, even when I was looking and thought they were my friends.

    I will wait for Wed and the rest of your story.
    xo

  19. I think many young women have a similar story. Sometimes, it takes experience. I'm sure you handled it smoothly.

  21. Ugh, a cliffhanger!!

    I;m sure I will be up bright and early Wednesday to hear the ending. And how you chose to deal with it.

  22. Shell! Aak- I'll tune in Wednesday to hear the rest!

    Poor twenty-something you, yes?

  25. Ugh. I got fired once for saying "no" when my manager asked me out. And that's the least of my experiences in this "category". Sadly, I have a bunch of stories.

  28. You're killing me with this cliffhanger! Waiting with bated breath, my friend…

  29. Oh evil lady leaving us hanging until Wednesday! And yes I now can see where it is going, who knows if I would 11 years ago

  36. I think i know where tnis is heading however when i was younger i probably wouldn't have seen it!

  37. I have many ideas in my head of how this story can continue but I guess I have to wait until Wednesday to find out the rest.

  38. I agree with Jessica…I am envisioning several different endings to this story. Can't wait for Wednesday. Great way to keep up hanging.

  40. Okay, you have me hook, line, and sinker! I can't wait until Wednesday. Until then, I will just let my mind wander with all the possibilites!

  42. More naivete than stupidity, right? Happens to the best of us. Can't wait to read how this one ends.

  46. I think we all have at least one story from our past lives that we aren't happy about. I can't wait to hear the rest of yours…
    Sandy

  47. Such a tease 😉
    with the story I mean, only the story!

    Much love to you gorgeous!

  50. Looking forward to reading the end of the story on Wednesday…unless you have another cliff-hanger!

  55. ooh…you tease…waiting for Wed..
    and babe…half the things I did in my youth I can't write about…
    seriously? what were we thinking?

  56. My curiosity is so piqued – I can hardly stand it. Can't wait to come back on Wednesday.

  57. Funny, I was in a similar situation. Not with someone I worked with but this guy that I was great friends with. Looking back now I didn't realize what he was trying to do because we were such good friends. Fortunatly, after I got married we still remained friends and we're going on a double date soon with him and his new girlfriend.

  58. Our Young Self can never see what is really going on. That is why I am so nervous for my daughters!

    Can't wait for Wednesday.

  59. I love these stories of yours. That job sounds ideal to me- I only WISH I could get a job like that now!

  60. I must be even more naive now than you were then because I don't really know where this is going…

    I'm assuming it won't be good. But I don't know in what way.

    Is it Wednesday yet?

    (and I'm glad that whatever this conflict is has been left in the past.)

  64. Looks like someone knows the the "Always leave them wanting more" rule to telling a good story. Can't wait.

  66. Can't wait to read the rest….I have a feeling I know where it's going, but i have been wrong in the past….

    ~Bibi @ Queen Of Average ~

  68. Thanks Shell, for stopping by my blog today and leaving such a nice comment. I can't wait to hear the rest of your story tomorrow!
    Sandy

  70. Well, I couldn't read your PYHO post today without coming here first. Hmmm…let's see what happens. Off to read part 2.

  71. Same here, came to read this before PYHO. And yea, I know where this is going …

  72. I think I would have thought all the same things you did. We do these things when we're younger. We trust. We want to believe that others have our best interest in mind. It's sad when we realize that that isn't always the case. I'm so sorry you had this happen to you, but it sounds as though it was incredible eye-opening learning experience. XOXO

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