Now that I’m of a certain age, there’s a new life event that’s common with so many people I know.
We’re past the getting married and having babies stages and now moving on to a season of divorce.
Though I don’t speak it out loud to any of my friends going through it, inwardly I think I don’t know how I would get through it.
A rather ignorant thing to think since I know you get through what you have to get through. People have said similar things to me when I was raising three toddlers at once or about having a child with special needs. I know you don’t really have a choice, that when you’re in a situation, you do what you have to do.
But it still scares me to think about.
I want to believe that my marriage is strong, that my husband and I will be one of those couples who celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary with a big flashy party where their kids and grandkids and maybe even great-grandkids all run around, laughing and toasting to a love that was an example for the whole family.
It feels like we have that.
But it probably feels like you have that… until you don’t any more.
We make time for date nights, we make each other laugh, we’re a team. We both know that marriage can be work and believe love is more of a decision than simply a feeling you can fall in and out of.
We have a good marriage.
Yet, couples who are now divorced would have used those same words to describe their marriage before things turned sour.
I harbor no delusions that we’ve found the secret to a lasting marriage.
People change. Life can hand you a whole pile of shit you never saw coming, leading you down a path you never imagined.
And I know that divorce can actually be a good thing. That you can find yourself in a situation where divorce doesn’t seem like a tragedy, but instead like the best thing that ever happened to you. But that’s not where I’m at.
So, I’d like to skip over this season of life if I can.
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