Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

A Motherbitch Story

Motherbitches: what the mean girls of junior high turn into when they grow up and procreate.

It’s been a while since I’ve told you one of these stories.

This most recent one comes to you from my church’s fall festival.

Because yes, Christian women can still be motherbitches.

Last weekend, we went to our church’s fall festival. They really go all out. So much fun for the kids and everything is free. It’s a great way to get people in from the community who don’t usually go to our church and maybe have them give it a shot.

We’d been there for an hour or so when Hubs took off with our oldest to go on a hayride with some friends, leaving me with the two littles.

Bear and Cub were bouncing away in jumpy thing(that is their technical name, I think). But then Cub slid out and wanted to go on the big slide beside the jumpy thing.

I walked him over, keeping an eye on Bear jumping.  I helped Cub get up to where he’d climb the rungs to get to the top of the slide… even though he’s gone on bigger slides, people usually see his little peanut self and assume that he couldn’t climb that and wonder where his mama his. So, I was right there.

But, while I was right there for Cub, Bear decided to dash out of the jumpy thing and run over to the firetruck  that was parked a little bit away and climb right on in, ignoring the line of kids who were waiting.

I could have shrieked at him from where I was… but really, it probably wouldn’t have done anything at that point but cause a lot of people to turn and stare at me.

So, I waited til Cub went down the slide and we went over to get Bear out of the firetruck.

As we approached, these two moms were talking. I vaguely recognized them from Bible Study. As I called for Bear, one of them stopped, turned to me and said “Oh, that must be his mother.”

And then she turned back to her friend and said “It’s a shame when people don’t pay attention to what their kids are doing and ruin it for everyone else.”

I had to literally bite my tongue to stop from saying “Way to show Jesus to the community, bitch.”

Because REALLY?

He’d RUINED it for everyone else?

RUINED IT?

And not paying attention?

I did see him, I just couldn’t get to him fast enough.

It’s one thing to be a mom who just sits there and doesn’t pay attention to what her kids are doing. Who doesn’t care if they are doing something wrong.

There are plenty of those- who would sit down eating fried snickers bars(OMG, can you believe I didn’t eat one of those?) and let their kids run wild all over the festival. Or who would think that their child cutting in line was perfectly acceptable.

Did one of mine get away from me for just a minute? Yes.

But, damn, I got to him and got him out there.

Excuse me for having a 20 second parenting lapse.

Motherbitches. 

Comments

  2. OMG Annoying, ironic, and mean- all of this yes.

    But that title? That coin your phrased? Freakin genius.

    xo

  3. I am pretty sure that I would not have been able to hold my tongue.

    And I probably would have ended up embarrassing someone. . .

    Kudos to you for biting your tongue!

  5. Ugh. We can only do so much, you know? I think we all know who the REAL MOM RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE WAS!!!

  7. Ugh!!! That just fires me up. I'm sure those mothers were just perfect with perfect children and perfect lives. Yuck! I hate it when people act all self righteous and judgemental.

  8. Ugh!!! Why do moms have to be so judgemental?! If we can't be compassionate and understanding about motherhood to others moms, who will?
    Had to be hard to bite your tongue. But "when you know better, you do better"….she obviously doesn't know any better yet. 🙁

  9. Good for you being the better person. I am sure you were super tempted to correct her (nicely of course LOL)

    How annoying.

  10. I hate judgemental parents – well done for biting your tongue, don't think I could've been so graceful! I'm sure one day their 'perfect' child will do something a little 'imperfect'…

    S x

  12. You are so right about motherbitches. There are so many of them out there unfortunately. You know when you have more than one kid it is like a juggling act to watch them all. Kudos to you for not saying something. You were the bigger parson by holding your tongue.

  15. Ian will tell you, that's why they fed the Christians to the lions 😉

    (sadly some of the worst experiences I have had …)

    but we love you and this phrase you have, love it 😉

  16. Ugh, that is the worst and I always want to go into a big long explanation but really, what good does it do?

  17. I'm so glad I read this this morning. I have a post in the works about how some people at the zoo made me feel like I had no business taking my three kids anywhere. The zoo trip was actually a huge success, but the words of a few people when my kids (3yo twins and a 20 mo) were having a hard time waiting in line for ONE thing put a sour taste in my mouth about the whole day.

  19. Way to show Jesus to the community indeed. What a pain, Shell, I'm sorry.

    I love "motherbitches" (the term, not the people). I could write a "when friends morph into motherbitches" post, but I won't 😉

  20. You are a better person than me. No way would I have been able to bite my tongue. I probably would have said something like "Way to be passive aggressive. You do know I am not deaf right?!?!"

  21. Yeah, these are the same motherbitches who will turn a blind eye when their own precious spawn do something that actually DOES ruin it for others. *fumes*

  22. I know way too many of those women. It's just uncalled for. And it not only makes you have a hard time being the bigger person by not firing back, but it makes you want to watch their parenting with an eagle eye just so you can cut them down when you see something you can use. It's hard to just be nice and leave it be. Glad you wrote this out.. so relatable!

  23. Wow, talk about passive aggressive. They certainly could have told your child (nicely) that there was a line. And then the commentary was completely unnecessary.

  24. You did well biting your tongue, talking with people like this wouldn't give you anything, but a headache. Ignoring them is much better, unfortunately these women (and men too) live everywhere.

  25. I would have let her have it…and then found another church…lol Someone criticizing me on how I Parent, is one thing that I CANNOT take.

  26. Wow, I don't know how you didn't say anything. I don't know if I would have been able to keep my mouth shut. You probably wouldn't have gotten anywhere with such ignorant people anyway. Good for you for being the bigger person!

  27. I think you're the better person because you went and got your boy out of the truck instead of standing with a friend and gossiping.

    I came across way too many motherbitches and their male counterparts at a school dance last week. I think motherbitches are also known as women who think they are perfect and the world revolves around them.

  29. I'm with Sara, you're a bigger person than me. (LoL)

    I would have responded with 'sorry, I had to put down my BEER before I could stop him". (Snicker.)

  30. Don't you just love perfect people? Especially the moms whose children have NEVER done anything wrong.

    And judgmental folks–what was it Jesus said about them? Oh yeah, those without sin can thrown that first stone.

    I love women like that. You came out on top. By handling yourself with graciousness and class unlike the shrew.

  31. Oooh I would have had to say something. It's not like your kid was beating up other kids. Some moms are just mean MEAN mean. Hope you have a better week and don't have to deal with any of these moms!

  33. What KLZ wrote above, I would've said to them. Dave had an incident with some motherbitches this weekend. I am trying to get him to write a post about it.

  34. that's effin ridonkulous. Motherbitches for sure!! I'd have been irritated to no end – and wishing I had a snappy comeback. Unfortunately for me, the good comebacks always come to me 2 hours (or days) later. grrr!!! sorry you had to deal with them, and their (very bad)attitudes. Next time you're around them, could you have one of your boys pee on their shoes or something? or their car tire perhaps? 😉

  35. I would not have been able to bite my tongue, it would be flapping. At 60 miles a minute. So good job being the grown up on that one.

    Next, the fact that you know they're MotherBitches makes you the better person. You know you're a good mom, they probably suck at it.

  37. Motherbitches..hilar! What do you call those who don't or have yet to procreate? Just straight up bitches?

  38. Grrr…HATE them. We were at a Church fall fest this weekend too (seems to be the thing to do in October) and came across a few. Had to chant "just bite your tongue and breathe" and paste a smile on to not ruin it for Kiddo. Grrr. You did the right thing, Mama.

    Good for you for not giving into those fried snickers bars. I passed up those AND fried Oreos, just telling myself it would go straight to my muffin-top. So tempting though!

  39. Oh! The passive aggressiveness! It presses my crazy button for sure.

    Also bouncy things? Totally the technical name.

  40. This seriously makes me want to punch that woman. I don't know if I could have bitten my tongue. Ruined it for everyone? Hardly. Ugh, motherbitches suck!

  41. You… you fry snickers bars where you live? I can't decide if that's wonderful or horrifying. But it's definitely at least one of those. Also? Who can be mean near a bouncy castle? That person clearly doesn't understand just how blessed she is.

    I mean, I spend this whole weekend without seeing a single bouncy castle. Now that's worthy of some mean comments.

  42. Good Lord. You'd think we'd left middle school a long time ago, but apparently not. People (mainly motherbitches) get on my dang nerves! How bad did your tounge bleed from biting it so hard? 🙂

  43. OMG. I SO would have put those bitches in their place. Probably a good thing that I wasn't there. TOTAL MOTHERBITCHES.

  44. Ugh. So not ok. And people wonder why churches get a bad rap. Way to go biting your tongue. I probably would have needed stitches. 🙂

  45. OH see that is where I would have said mmhmm and you would think since we are at a church sanctioned function Jesus would have taught you about casting judgment and gossip but you apparently are ignoring him.. mmhmmm yes maam I would have.

  46. Some woman just dn't keep their damn snooty attitudes to themselves. OMG, you told the story perfectly….I visualized the whole thing and I am mortified that women are SO shitty!! You should order some What Would Jesus Bands and give them to the ladies. They could definately use the extra little bit of respect. My Dad would look at them, point to his tongue and say, "you've got to much of that there." He would be right.

    COMMON SISTERS SUPPORT EACH OTHER! BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER.

    Lynn

  50. You are such a better person than I am because I would not have been able to bite my tongue! Your term sounds like a perfect fit…I might have to borrow it from time to time.

  51. This is a point where I would have said something. Probably something nasty and not explaining our being rational, just "Screw you." I bet those women only had one child to watch and they were 8 years old. So forget about her. You know I love you. 🙂

  52. Ugh. Motherbitches is right. Sometimes I really hate people :/

    Yesterday when I was at the park with the boys, Landon got on something that was too "big" for him. I was over with Brigham who was doing something else.

    One of the moms came running over to Landon with a look of horror on her face. She said, "Oh, I wouldn't have allowed my child to go on that."

    Well, EXCUSE ME, lady. He just got away from me and I'm sorry I'm not perfect. Grrrrrrr.

  53. Oh hell…those motherbitches should be thanking their lucky stars that I wasn't there. I would have clawed at them verbally like a spider monkey.
    Seriously.

  55. You are stronger than me. I doubt I would have stopped myself from putting them in their place. I hardly think your child is the first in the history of the world to try and cut a line. Kids are made of pure impulse – he wasn't RUINING anything. And you had two kids to keep safe! Forget them!

  56. Okay. Seriously.
    I can't really comment because it would be just a stream of obscenitites. My church is FULL of Motherbitches. 🙁

  57. Ugh! And what does it say about the Christian community when the biggest bitches are found right there in the pews?

    I've experienced this stuff too. (At church and in our Christian homeschool group.) And it makes me think, no wonder non-Christians are wary of us.

  58. your a better person that me because I would have let her have it! I cannot stand people's snarky comments.I'm the type of person that if you have something to say, say it!

  59. When it's just me and the kids, I can't be stopped. But if The Wife is with us, I get tight-lipped. This usually prompts the "What's wrong? Stop being a grump" kind of thing.

  60. And where the hell was her kid? She was probably too busy talking to even know. That's the part I hate.

    Let's talk about who the "ruiner" here was, shall we?

    Geez.

  61. Blergh. I hate that! Bitches. If that completely ruins your day, there is something wrong with your day to start with. Like you're a bitch, maybe?

  62. You're a better person than me. I would have marched right up to them right after and commented on how when I grow up I want to be perfect just like them!

  63. Those motherbitches need to get a life.

    Did you say anything? Give them the evil eye maybe?

  64. Some mean girls never grow up after middle school. Don't let the stupid people get you down.

  65. I haven't heard one of these stories in forever from you. And this was a good one. Because it's a bad one. I mean, what bitches! Am I making sense?

    Glad you took the high road, though I'm sure it was haaarrrrrddddd.

  66. Some people are just completely over the top ..NO WAY could I have bitten my tongue good for you! As for them I hope they get a healthy dose of reality via their kids very soon Karma is the queen of the bitches

  67. I'm absolutely livid on your behalf . . . grrrrrrrr.

    I'm not a Christian . . . far from it (you follow me, so you know what I'm like on Sundays), but I actually think I have a greater understanding of Christianity than most who do consider themselves just that.

    Gah.

  68. I had this at Walmart on Sunday. I guess this woman thought I was breaking in line at the deli (trying to get popcorn chicken for Bud), but I waited for her to answer the man behind the counter and when she didn't I went ahead. She should learn to speak up.

  69. …and exactly why I left the church for awhile. there didn't seem to be any Christians there.

    Luckily, I remembered Jesus was still there waiting, lovingly, so I just keep my eyes on him now.

    Similar things have happened to me, I just say, "ouch, that's gonna leave a mark….while your here, better get the other one" *turn cheek*

    that sends the msg. home pretty fast.

  70. Every time I see that word "motherbitches" along with the definition, I can't help but giggle.

    And, really…at a church event? Those women just had to be bitchy at a church event, for crying outloud!!

    Well, you know that God has his eye on those two for sure. They'll get theirs….just wait, it'll happen.

  72. My baby is six weeks old, and I went to my first playdate last week. All of the moms were girls from my high school, some I was acquainted with, others I didnt know at all.
    I'll just say, yeah, you're absolutely right. The mean girls do turn into motherbitches.
    PS> That's my new favorite word. Motherbitch.

  73. Ha, I know plenty of "motherbitches"! Freakin' hilarious.. motherbitches!! Gotta love it. Proud of you for holding your tongue… they're not worth the breath. You did exactly what you're supposed to do and they're just idiots!

  74. Motherbitches – love it!! Kudos to you for not biting their heads off – or biting into a fried snickers. Not sure I could have done it!

  75. Shell, how oh how in God's creation were you able to hold your tongue?
    How Christian of you! (and better then me!)
    I love the Motherbitches term. I defintely have come in contact with many of those over my 3 short years as a mama.

  77. There is a saying that I love….
    Going to Church doesn't make you a christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. lol Some people just aren't real Christians ….Thats what I would have told her~

  78. Bahahaha! I absolutely love the term "motherbitches". I've seen a LOT of those in action before!

    Why is it that we let them say things like that, and never say anything back to them? I do the same thing myself. I don't because I feel like I'm being the bigger person by NOT making it a big deal, but then I get made at myself because I'm tired of always being the better person.

    Bahahaha, "motherbitches"!!!!

  80. Seriously, what impresses me is that not only did you hold your tongue…you held your tongue while being on a detox with donuts dangling in your fave, fried snickers in the air & no wine for days! I am just in complete awe!

  81. LOL…The world is full of MBs. They just won't let kids be kids. So quick to criticize and loves to put others down. They're devious.

  82. Thanks for giving me a new term to call mothers like that. And good on you for biting your tongue!

  83. ARGH! I'm not sure I could've bitten my tongue. I cannot stand these types of women. Cannot stand them. I'm on a campaign to eradicate meanness. Women are so catty.

  84. Oh, I admire your self-control. I would have had to make some snide remark about wishing I could be a perfect parent just like them.

    But, maybe I am the wrong person to give advice. I have so lost my filter. I blame it on the medicine 😉

  85. Next time you run into them, you should give them your card and then re-run this post.

    Or, you could lead the prayer in Bible Study next time: "And now, Dear God, about the Motherbitches…"

    D'oh!

  86. What a shame. Some people are so quick to hate and judge! Good for you fro controlling yourself. I'm sure it wouldn't have done any good to give her any energy! So sad you know her from bible study. You're right! What kind of heart is she showing her community??!

  87. I'm a Christian church going kinda gal…
    but I will say, some of the biggest motherbitches are those women…
    cuz you know, since they're so holy and loving God so much they know better and can judge others…right? right?
    Oh no, that's not right…
    stupid motherbitches

  88. Oh, the WORST motherbitches are at church functions.

    Next time just scream "PLANK. PLAAAAANK."

  92. I have had so many moments like this. Not all of them my children or directed at me, but women that I swear are just sitting around patroling for things to criticize in other Moms to make themselves feel spectacular.

    Sorry you had to go through that. It's never fun.

    I always derive some peace from knowing that anyone that is that worried about someone else's situation is probably very frustrated and sad about their own.

    Or they are just a bitch. Either way, way to take the high road Shell!

  93. Motherbitches is a perfect term for those women. It's not like you were ignoring your kids or sitting on your phone the whole time. Sometimes kids are quicker than parents, especially when you have more than one.

  94. Women like that drive me CRAZY. And people like that are the reason that OTHER people don't go to church. Just saying. "Christians" can be some of the most hateful, condescending and hypocritical people you will ever meet. Sorry you had to deal with that. Bleh. (PS-love the HILARIOUS comment above me from "John Rambo.")

  95. I am currently in a MB war with the Team Mom of The Boy's Football team. I'm ashamed to say I might be totally giving back as good as I've gotten. Not proud of myself, but she seemed to take such an instant dislike to me that I didn't know how to respond!

  96. WTH?!??!

    I guess their kids are perfect angels and never do anything wrong.

    Motherbitches…. I like that term.

  99. I read this yesterday on my phone (low commenting from the phone tolerance) and was completely pissed for you. WHO says that?!? I would like to think I'd have told her to shove it, but that's not likely the most adult thing either. Although she should shove it. God will get her. She'll be rewarded with a full out meltdown at Target or something, don't you worry! 🙂

  100. I so hate parents like that. Big time.

    Natalie likes to run around before PreK starts as we wait for the teacher to come out and I get looks from other parents like, "Um, why are you letting her run around?"

  102. OMG. I love your definition of a motherbitch and yes, that is for sure an exact example of one. That's just sad. I would have had to say something. I'm lippy like that.

  103. It's unfortunate you had to deal with that. I've never appreciate "Convenient Christians"; people who call themselves Christians, yet fail to act like Christians.

  104. oh yes, that is a motherbitch. I give you a lot of credit. I wanted to drop kick a lady today in the pediatricians office for asking me a stupid question about my newborn baby! 🙂 people have nerve!!

  105. Eeew. I know those ladies and I sooo don't like them either. They're always so condescending! It's all I can do not to bop one of them in the face!!!

  107. WOW! I'm still getting over how long it took me to get to the bottom of your comments to post a comment myself! 😉

    Anyway, back to the point in hand –

    Those moms SUCK. And I don't say that word lightly. That is absolutely ridiculous. This HAS happened to me before, and what I have learned from it is:

    I would never, ever say that to a mom… EVER.

    And then I think to myself: How fortunate I am to have had this fact pointed out to me… because at one point, I might have been a mom to say that about another mom… and now (3 kids later!) I TOTALLY know better.

    P.S. jumpy thing IS their technical name (I swear by it!)

  109. The older the children get the worse the MBs get. It is so much easier to judge the mother of an obnoxious tween than a cute two year old.

    Luckily by that time you have probably developed a thick skin.

    I figure the MBs will get theirs when their children only visit them out of obligation and not because they actually like them.

  110. the scary thing is those motherbitches procreated, so future little to-be-motherbitches are learning from them. Cheers to you for holding you tongue

  111. I'm fuming just reading this!

    Seriously…a child cutting in line ruined her day? She must live a pretty sad life then…

    I don't understand why motherbitches are so, well, bitchy. They definitely need more wine in their lives.

    xoxo

  112. Oh man!! I'm fuming..because I HATE women like that. I guess being perfect all the time makes it hard to be civil. Urg! I think that's why I am reluctant to "friend" ladies…women are mean, plain and simple. I've been burned my "church" women too..they are everywhere. It doesn't seem to matter!

  113. Ugh! Delayed comment, once again. My iPhone is being a butt about commenting on your blog for some reason.

    1. You took the high road which was far better parenting and far more christian (IMO)

    2. Motherbitches is a fantastic term.

    It sucks that some of the high school mean girls never out grow their petty, mean school aged streak.

    🙁
    Hugs!

  114. I'm so sorry! I get really upset about things like that and I would have ended up hundled in a bathroom crying. People like that are the reason I believe in karma, I'm sure they will get theirs soon.

  115. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! OMG, that's just nasty. And I'm with Glamamom–they always get theirs in the end, so don't sweat it, girl. But seriously. Some people need to shut it.

  116. I totally agree. Hate it when people jump to conclusions and are nasty about things. Ugh.. They are just kids!!! Hugs

  117. Am I wrong in thinking the South is more brutal when it comes to women? I have Southern friends and the stories they tell make me think so. Perhaps I'm wrong. But boy do stories like these make me burn.

  118. Motherbitches, so true. They really are everywhere, even at church fairs. Good for you for not stooping to their level.

  119. Oh no she didn't! And you my friend, showed true Christ-like qualities by not getting up in her MB face! And yes, I have seen kids totally run amok at church activities. And you can tell who's being watched and who is not.

    Fried snickers???? Holy calories, Batman!

  120. How did you NOT say anything??? I would have "spoken up" church or no church. You're a better woman than I.

  122. It is those kind of people that make me say 15x a day "I hate people" lol, my blog friends excluded of course….
    sometimes it is so hard to be nice instead of right, which is what you did…I probably would have said something…ugh not so very "church" like were they…

  123. Good for you for holding your tongue. I had an episode with a motherbitch a month ago and held mine when I really didn't want to. People like that won't hear what you have to say anyway.
    You are right, you were not being lazy, you were busy with one child and weighed cause and effect.
    Mothers should be building each other up not tearing each other down.