Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

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July 8, 2012 by: Shell

A Mom of Boys Says….

Go pee INSIDE!

Yes, you have to wear pants.

Pull up your swim trunks!

No more wrestling your brother!

Spitting is not allowed in the house.

Get your hands out of your pants.

Stop it before someone gets hurt.

Not everyone likes mud.

Don’t throw that!

What? There’s a difference between Power Rangers Samari and Power Rangers Super Samari?

What do you mean, “What’s for dinner?” Y’all just ate an entire pizza!

Put the stick down.

Being a mom to boys is an awful lot like being a pirate mom and maybe I have to say some crazy things, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!

What odd things do you find yourself telling your kids?

This is not a sponsored post, but I wanted you to know about a chat on The Motherhood happening on Tuesday, July 11 at 1pm ET. For a half an hour, we’ll talk “Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails: Raising Boys.” Other hosts are  @TheMommyMess,  @gdrpempress,  @DumbMom,  @KimberlyAMuro, and @tsharp12.  I hope you’ll join us!

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Comments

  1. myevil3yearold says

    July 8, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    I have asked, “Is that chocolate or poop?”

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      I’ve asked that. Even though I wanted to run away instead of waiting for the answer!

  2. Charlene says

    July 8, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    LOL! I have uttered just about every single one of those phrases being a mom of 4 boys!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      Ha! Then you can definitely relate!

  3. Alison@Mama Wants This says

    July 8, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    I say take your hands out of your pants all the time too!

    Also, stop banging that on the floor/ table/ chair. And be careful don’t fall. A Lot.

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 1:59 pm

      Be careful. I say that one so much that I practically do it without thinking!

  4. Shelly says

    July 8, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    That is too funny.  I have said so many of those.  It is so true.  And you are right being a mom to boys is so much fun!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 1:59 pm

      So much fun! But messy. 😉 

  5. Jessica says

    July 8, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    Yes, yes and YES. I say all of these about 20 times a day. But I wouldnt change it for ANYTHING!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 1:59 pm

      Me, either! Love my little men!

  6. momof12 says

    July 9, 2012 at 1:24 am

    How about “Stop touching your brother!”
    Sandy

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      Oh yes- all the time!

  7. colleen says

    July 9, 2012 at 3:30 am

    So funny!!:) Just the other day I caught myself saying “No you can’t go outside in just a teeshirt and socks, you do HAVE to have pants on!” and I thought how did it come to this? But I am comforted that it’s normal…:)

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      Sounds very much like mine! 

  8. Barbara says

    July 9, 2012 at 3:44 am

    I said a few of those this weekend. Isn’t it fun being a boy mom? 🙂

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

      Yes, it is. 😉 

  9. Heather says

    July 9, 2012 at 5:48 am

    I love this post!  I can see myself saying a lot of these things in the future.  Right now since we’re in the throws of potty training two boys at once, I find myself saying as they sit on the potty seats next to each other, “Tuck your penis down!” 

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

      Oh my- good luck with that! I’m so glad that we are done potty training here! 

  10. JDaniel4's Mom says

    July 9, 2012 at 6:34 am

    I have said all of these things too. Our latest way to lock horns is hand washing. I ask him if he has washed his hand and he tells me yes he has. I ask when and he tells me yesterday. No, that isn’t recent enough. He has to go and wash them for this moment in time.

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      What a smart little guy! LOL

  11. Victoria KP says

    July 9, 2012 at 7:04 am

    LOL! I have said every one of the things on your list. As for, “pee inside”, letting them pee outside was the only way I got those boys out of diapers!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:03 pm

      Mine did the same thing. And I’m okay with it… sometimes. But not if the neighbors could see!

  12. Sorta Southern Single Mom says

    July 9, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Sadly, I say almost all of those things to my girl, too… maybe because she has a brother?

    My all time, I Can’t Believe I Just Said That Moment remains the time I yelled, at the top of my lungs, across the yard to The Girl, who was tackling her brother on a trampoline, “Pull up your pants and get off your brother!!!”

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

      LMAO!!!!

  13. Shannon says

    July 9, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Just the other day I had to tell my youngest to stop licking her older sister.

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

      Oh, the licking! How could I leave that one out?

  14. Kmama says

    July 9, 2012 at 8:29 am

    This weekend, I might have said, “Do you have to go pee?  No?  Well then, stop playing with your penis.  I promise it’s still there!”

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      I’ll have to remember that one!

  15. Cindy Bryl says

    July 9, 2012 at 8:39 am

    EVERYDAY when my husband walks in the door from work the first thing out of his mouth is ‘so and so’ where are your pants!!!??? Often it is all three of them. One day maybe I’ll surprise him and it will be all four of us!!!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      None of my boys have on pants right now, so I totally hear ya!

  16. Natalie says

    July 9, 2012 at 8:50 am

    I’m sure I’ll sound a lot like this when my two boys get older 🙂

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      I’m sure you will! 😉 

  17. The Mommy Therapy says

    July 9, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Not too long ago I found myself telling my four year old, “Come pick up all these shotgun shells so I can vacuum!” I was completely baffled that the words were coming out of my mouth. He collected them at our family’s ranch and littered them all over the floor!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      That is hilarious! 

  18. angela says

    July 9, 2012 at 9:00 am

    I only have one little guy, and I still say so many of those on a regular basis. I can’t imagine if I had more 🙂 You should just have a tshirt made 🙂

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      I totally should! 

  19. Mary @ A Teachable Mom says

    July 9, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Love these! Raising girls is not so different! I find myself telling my little one to get her hands out of her pants regularly. More …
    Get your feet off your sister.
    No, you can’t live only on fruit snacks. 
    Please stop wiping your boogers on your sister.
    No, I have no idea where your nearly invisible Polly Pocket red shoe is. 
    Quit flinging that fairy wand around – you’ll poke someone’s eye out. 

    Fun post!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      So funny- you could do your own post! 🙂 

  20. molly says

    July 9, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Yep, I totally say all those things.

    Sounds like a great chat. I love The Motherhood!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

      Hope you’ll join us! I think their chats are much easier to follow than twitter parties.

  21. Dawn @ Come Over For Coffee says

    July 9, 2012 at 9:49 am

    I have said all of the above so many times that it’s like a mommy chant. So funny how much we all have in common. A few of our unique phrases include “no weapons at the table”, “don’t take the remote to the bathroom with you” and “stop hitting the neighbor with your battle axe!”

    Parenting is certainly an adventure!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

      A battle ax? I think you have a post there!

      • Dawn @ Come Over For Coffee says

        July 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm

        That’s a great idea! When I post it, I’ll give you credit 🙂

    • Gayletrini says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm

      OMG I say put down the remote at least ten time in an hour! It is always always under his arm if he is not surfing channels. Usually I reach to If you don’t choose one show I will turn the television off!

  22. Leigh Powell Hines @Hinessightblog says

    July 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

    So funny.  I have to say, “Don’t be so loud” a lot. 

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:15 pm

      I usually end up yelling(and defeating the point) “WHY are you so loud?????”

  23. Evonne says

    July 9, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I think I’ve said all of those many times, except “go pee INSIDE”.  Knock on wood!  I’ve also had to say things such as…
    No chainsaws in your bed
    Sticks are not light sabers
    Quit sniffing people.

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

      What is it with boys and sticks??

  24. Nicole says

    July 9, 2012 at 10:56 am

    “No! No more dink fights!”

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

      Dink? LMAO

  25. John says

    July 9, 2012 at 10:57 am

    My personal favorite remains “you do not put your sister’s shoe on your penis.”

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

      Oh, the things I’ve had to say to my boys about that particular appendage. It was actually blogging about that that made me start this blog instead of keeping everything on my family one. LOL

  26. Jen says

    July 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Sounds like fun! 

    And maybe I will learn a thing or two since boys baffle me… daily. 

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

      I definitely don’t have them figured out. They are dirty and confusing little creatures. 

  27. Kristen says

    July 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I only have girls but I constantly have to tell them that they can’t go to the store or anywhere outside of our home in their pjs. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I am the root of this problem as I love to be in mine!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

      I do, too!

  28. Kim Young says

    July 9, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    I am telling you that little girls are way worse then boys about putting their hands in their pants or messing with their private area. I have to say those things to all of my kids, not just the boy. lol.
    The funniest/weirdest thing I said over the weekend was “Do not try to pick her ear with your toe.” Why? Why, do I have to say these things? 😉

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

      Toes in an ear, ewwww!

       I used to have to tell my oldest to stop biting his TOEnails. So gross. But one time, he bit down too far and got it infected and it was painful so he stopped. 

  29. MiMi says

    July 9, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    I distinctly remember telling one of them, “Do NOT pee on the bug!” 

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

      Do not pee on the______ is a common around here!

  30. mare ball says

    July 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Too funny! I have two boys and these are true! I have a daughter as well, so I also had to say, “Untie your sister!” 🙂

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

      LOL I could see that happening here! 

  31. Duffy says

    July 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    The dog is not a dark lord of the Sith! Do not chase him with the light saber!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

      that’s one for the baby books!

    • Dawn @ Come Over For Coffee says

      July 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

      This one made me laugh out loud!! Thank you for sharing.

  32. Kristy says

    July 9, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    I find myself saying more and more, “That is NOT appropriate!” (usually immediately followed by “where are your pants?!?”)

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm

      Sounds very much like me!

  33. Kir says

    July 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    this!! is exactly how I feel lately!! “WHY ARE YOU NAKED?” is my favorite lately.
    Why are they naked all the time???

    but I think I’ve said all of these and just reading it made me giggle. 🙂
    xo

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

      Mine think naked is how they should be all. the. time.

  34. Patricia P says

    July 9, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    I find myself saying the same crazy things all the time! One of my personal favorites is telling them, “Just behave like civilized people when we’re in public, please!” Somehow they interpret this to mean that they can be uncivilized at home!

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

      Uh-oh. Have to word that differently!

  35. Carolyn says

    July 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Ha, this was great.
    The latest thing I find myself saying is “Get your hands out of your pants.”

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

      Yes! I don’t get it! 

      I’m also having to say “no toys in your underwear!” 

  36. Gayletrini says

    July 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    Giggle I have said pretty much everything on this list to both my son AND my daughters!!
    Come on everybody knows that Power Ranger Super Samurai is the one where the famous black box is unlocked and the Red Ranger is given Super Samurai Powers and a really awful costume! HAHAHHAHAHAHHA yup we watch way too much Power Ranger themed TV here.
    Did you know that there is also Power Ranger Jungle Fury, DIno Thunder and my children’s new fav Power Ranger ninja Storm. LOL LOL

    • Shell says

      July 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

      I  did know- b/c my boys have figured out a way to make a series recording of ALL of those. Our dvr is overrun with Power Rangers!!!

  37. Natalie says

    July 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    I say a lot of those things to the girls too…must be because they always want to copy Ethan 😉

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm

      Probably! Boys are crazy sometimes!

  38. Meredith says

    July 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Add in, “stop smearing peanut butter in her hair!” and you’ve encapsulated my life!

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

      We haven’t quite had that one b/c my boys would never waste pb- they have to eat it all.

      But they have painted each other. And NOT with washable paint.

  39. Erica@PLRH says

    July 9, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    My eldest son is home for 3 weeks after completing his first year at the US Naval Academy. He’s learned all sorts of new moves that takes brotherly wrestling to a whole new level. I’m a little embarrassed to say that this weekend I yelled,
    “DO NOT choke out your brother!”

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

      LOL Sounds like my house!

  40. Jessica says

    July 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    Hmm…it seems I have asked my girls some of the same questions. 

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:34 pm

      Kids are such weird little creatures, boy or girl.

  41. Twingle Mommy says

    July 9, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    I say most of those things to my girls too. And I also say things like get off the floor! This is a public restroom and its dirty! As well as-if you take off your diaper and smear poop everywhere one more time, mommy is going to lose her mind and may end up in jail. Boys!

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      Oh yes, public restrooms. I find myself yelling “DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING! IT’S DIRTY!” 

  42. Foursons says

    July 9, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    Confession: I potty-trained my boys outside. And now at 10 and 8 years of age when I tell them to go to the bathroom because we are leaving the house, they go in the backyard. Yup. #motherofthecentury

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      Ha. I really don’t mind it- but only if they are out of sight of the neighbors!

  43. julie gardner says

    July 9, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    Is it wrong that I used to tell Jack to go ahead and pee OUTSIDE all the time?

    You see, we have a pool. And if I actually made him get out, dry off and go inside to pee, he’d just go in the pool.

    So. Letting him aim at the bushes in the side yard seemed like a good idea at the time.

    Still, he’s 15 now. Better get that under control soon, right? Ha! Just kidding. 
    (Now I’m sure he just pees in the pool…)

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      That makes a lot of sense! And as long as my boys go where the neighbors can’t see, I’m okay with it. Just not right smack in the middle of the yard!

  44. Denise says

    July 9, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    Oh yes, I say those frequently. We need t-shirts with all the sayings on them with “No” and “Stop that” being in big bold letters.

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:36 pm

      Yes- and then we could just point instead of having to yell!

  45. Jessica says

    July 9, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    No, you may not poop in the grass!

    Please don’t fart on your brother.

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:36 pm

      LOL 

      My boys think farting is hilarious. 

  46. Courtney Kirkland says

    July 9, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    this list made me chuckle. I have said and continue to say many, many of these things daily. The “pull up your pants” thing is pretty common in our house. What is it with boys and not wanting to wear pants?!

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:36 pm

      Apparently, it’s a boy thing!

  47. AnnMarie says

    July 10, 2012 at 1:29 am

    Funniest thing that I ever said that came back to bite me in the butt was when my oldest was picking his nose at the grocery store, when he was about 3, I asked, “What did I say about that?” He answered, “I know…stop playing with my nose. My nose is not a toy. My penis is not a toy.” He said it loudly and two checkout lanes of people had a good laugh but in his defense, at that time, I was saying that a lot.

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

      I would have died laughing!

  48. Jill @ Mommy Inconsistent says

    July 10, 2012 at 10:11 am

    “Listen!” – “Not so rough” – “Be nice to your brother” –  “Don’t throw that!” … And all the things you mentioned as well!  And I so agree…I wouldn’t have it any other way!

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

      Yes- same here! “Not so rough” is one I say every single day.

  49. Adrienne says

    July 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    #1 is by far my favorite!! It doesn’t help that my husband will often go outside! Really?

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

      Mine, too! I just don’t get it!

  50. Jackie says

    July 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Okay…. so I’ve been a mom of girls up until 2 years ago and now I have a boy! I find myself saying some of those things more than I think I need too…. and he’s only 2 1/2!

    • Shell says

      July 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm

      It’s a different world, isn’t it? I’d probably be in for culture shock if I had a girl.

  51. joann mannix says

    July 10, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    When my girls were small, my best friend and I used to talk constantly on the phone. She, like you, had 3 boys. 
    While I used to stuff them full of Oreos on my end, just to silence the talky talk long enough for me to have an adult conversation, my friend was on the other line, constantly yelling, “STOP TOUCHING IT.”
    I don’t think anything changes. 

  52. Sandra says

    July 10, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    How sad is it that I can relate to the “Get your hands out of your pants!”…and that’s to my 14 year old…sigh…I’ve been a bad bloggy friend, I’ve been so busy with school, but I leave and I come back, and look at you, you’re the fricken Bloggess with all these comments! Go you!

  53. Just Jennifer says

    July 10, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Yep, I say many of those things to my son as well. Boys are so….BOYS!

  54. stephanie @ babe's rockin' mami says

    July 11, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    So true!!  Just the other day I had to tell Nathaniel that no he could not just pull his pants down wherever when he needed to pee.

  55. Mark says

    August 11, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    I think boys are really more stubborn than guys. But stubborn or not, I know all of us still cherish our kid. They’re our most treasured gifts ever. 

Trackbacks

  1. Mum, Mum, Mum: Where's My Cloak of Invisibility? says:
    September 23, 2013 at 9:15 am

    […] that I could dig out my rose-colored glasses this morning and wax poetic about how sweet it is that my boys come to me for everything. That they think it’s mom who can do whatever it is that they need. […]

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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