Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

A Mom of Boys Says….

Go pee INSIDE!

Yes, you have to wear pants.

Pull up your swim trunks!

No more wrestling your brother!

Spitting is not allowed in the house.

Get your hands out of your pants.

Stop it before someone gets hurt.

Not everyone likes mud.

Don’t throw that!

What? There’s a difference between Power Rangers Samari and Power Rangers Super Samari?

What do you mean, “What’s for dinner?” Y’all just ate an entire pizza!

Put the stick down.

Being a mom to boys is an awful lot like being a pirate mom and maybe I have to say some crazy things, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!

What odd things do you find yourself telling your kids?

This is not a sponsored post, but I wanted you to know about a chat on The Motherhood happening on Tuesday, July 11 at 1pm ET. For a half an hour, we’ll talk “Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails: Raising Boys.” Other hosts are  @TheMommyMess,  @gdrpempress,  @DumbMom,  @KimberlyAMuro, and @tsharp12.  I hope you’ll join us!

Comments

    • I’ve asked that. Even though I wanted to run away instead of waiting for the answer!

  4. That is too funny.  I have said so many of those.  It is so true.  And you are right being a mom to boys is so much fun!

  7. So funny!!:) Just the other day I caught myself saying “No you can’t go outside in just a teeshirt and socks, you do HAVE to have pants on!” and I thought how did it come to this? But I am comforted that it’s normal…:)

  9. I love this post!  I can see myself saying a lot of these things in the future.  Right now since we’re in the throws of potty training two boys at once, I find myself saying as they sit on the potty seats next to each other, “Tuck your penis down!” 

    • Oh my- good luck with that! I’m so glad that we are done potty training here! 

  10. I have said all of these things too. Our latest way to lock horns is hand washing. I ask him if he has washed his hand and he tells me yes he has. I ask when and he tells me yesterday. No, that isn’t recent enough. He has to go and wash them for this moment in time.

  11. LOL! I have said every one of the things on your list. As for, “pee inside”, letting them pee outside was the only way I got those boys out of diapers!

    • Mine did the same thing. And I’m okay with it… sometimes. But not if the neighbors could see!

  12. Sadly, I say almost all of those things to my girl, too… maybe because she has a brother?

    My all time, I Can’t Believe I Just Said That Moment remains the time I yelled, at the top of my lungs, across the yard to The Girl, who was tackling her brother on a trampoline, “Pull up your pants and get off your brother!!!”

  14. This weekend, I might have said, “Do you have to go pee?  No?  Well then, stop playing with your penis.  I promise it’s still there!”

  15. EVERYDAY when my husband walks in the door from work the first thing out of his mouth is ‘so and so’ where are your pants!!!??? Often it is all three of them. One day maybe I’ll surprise him and it will be all four of us!!!

  17. Not too long ago I found myself telling my four year old, “Come pick up all these shotgun shells so I can vacuum!” I was completely baffled that the words were coming out of my mouth. He collected them at our family’s ranch and littered them all over the floor!

  18. I only have one little guy, and I still say so many of those on a regular basis. I can’t imagine if I had more 🙂 You should just have a tshirt made 🙂

  19. Love these! Raising girls is not so different! I find myself telling my little one to get her hands out of her pants regularly. More …
    Get your feet off your sister.
    No, you can’t live only on fruit snacks. 
    Please stop wiping your boogers on your sister.
    No, I have no idea where your nearly invisible Polly Pocket red shoe is. 
    Quit flinging that fairy wand around – you’ll poke someone’s eye out. 

    Fun post!

    • Hope you’ll join us! I think their chats are much easier to follow than twitter parties.

  21. I have said all of the above so many times that it’s like a mommy chant. So funny how much we all have in common. A few of our unique phrases include “no weapons at the table”, “don’t take the remote to the bathroom with you” and “stop hitting the neighbor with your battle axe!”

    Parenting is certainly an adventure!

    • I usually end up yelling(and defeating the point) “WHY are you so loud?????”

  23. I think I’ve said all of those many times, except “go pee INSIDE”.  Knock on wood!  I’ve also had to say things such as…
    No chainsaws in your bed
    Sticks are not light sabers
    Quit sniffing people.

    • Oh, the things I’ve had to say to my boys about that particular appendage. It was actually blogging about that that made me start this blog instead of keeping everything on my family one. LOL

    • I definitely don’t have them figured out. They are dirty and confusing little creatures. 

  27. I only have girls but I constantly have to tell them that they can’t go to the store or anywhere outside of our home in their pjs. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I am the root of this problem as I love to be in mine!

  28. I am telling you that little girls are way worse then boys about putting their hands in their pants or messing with their private area. I have to say those things to all of my kids, not just the boy. lol.
    The funniest/weirdest thing I said over the weekend was “Do not try to pick her ear with your toe.” Why? Why, do I have to say these things? 😉

    • Toes in an ear, ewwww!

       I used to have to tell my oldest to stop biting his TOEnails. So gross. But one time, he bit down too far and got it infected and it was painful so he stopped. 

  30. Too funny! I have two boys and these are true! I have a daughter as well, so I also had to say, “Untie your sister!” 🙂

  32. I find myself saying more and more, “That is NOT appropriate!” (usually immediately followed by “where are your pants?!?”)

  33. this!! is exactly how I feel lately!! “WHY ARE YOU NAKED?” is my favorite lately.
    Why are they naked all the time???

    but I think I’ve said all of these and just reading it made me giggle. 🙂
    xo

  34. I find myself saying the same crazy things all the time! One of my personal favorites is telling them, “Just behave like civilized people when we’re in public, please!” Somehow they interpret this to mean that they can be uncivilized at home!

    • Yes! I don’t get it! 

      I’m also having to say “no toys in your underwear!” 

  36. Giggle I have said pretty much everything on this list to both my son AND my daughters!!
    Come on everybody knows that Power Ranger Super Samurai is the one where the famous black box is unlocked and the Red Ranger is given Super Samurai Powers and a really awful costume! HAHAHHAHAHAHHA yup we watch way too much Power Ranger themed TV here.
    Did you know that there is also Power Ranger Jungle Fury, DIno Thunder and my children’s new fav Power Ranger ninja Storm. LOL LOL

    • I  did know- b/c my boys have figured out a way to make a series recording of ALL of those. Our dvr is overrun with Power Rangers!!!

    • We haven’t quite had that one b/c my boys would never waste pb- they have to eat it all.

      But they have painted each other. And NOT with washable paint.

  39. My eldest son is home for 3 weeks after completing his first year at the US Naval Academy. He’s learned all sorts of new moves that takes brotherly wrestling to a whole new level. I’m a little embarrassed to say that this weekend I yelled,
    “DO NOT choke out your brother!”

  41. I say most of those things to my girls too. And I also say things like get off the floor! This is a public restroom and its dirty! As well as-if you take off your diaper and smear poop everywhere one more time, mommy is going to lose her mind and may end up in jail. Boys!

    • Oh yes, public restrooms. I find myself yelling “DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING! IT’S DIRTY!” 

  42. Confession: I potty-trained my boys outside. And now at 10 and 8 years of age when I tell them to go to the bathroom because we are leaving the house, they go in the backyard. Yup. #motherofthecentury

  43. Is it wrong that I used to tell Jack to go ahead and pee OUTSIDE all the time?

    You see, we have a pool. And if I actually made him get out, dry off and go inside to pee, he’d just go in the pool.

    So. Letting him aim at the bushes in the side yard seemed like a good idea at the time.

    Still, he’s 15 now. Better get that under control soon, right? Ha! Just kidding. 
    (Now I’m sure he just pees in the pool…)

    • That makes a lot of sense! And as long as my boys go where the neighbors can’t see, I’m okay with it. Just not right smack in the middle of the yard!

  44. Oh yes, I say those frequently. We need t-shirts with all the sayings on them with “No” and “Stop that” being in big bold letters.

  46. this list made me chuckle. I have said and continue to say many, many of these things daily. The “pull up your pants” thing is pretty common in our house. What is it with boys and not wanting to wear pants?!

  47. Funniest thing that I ever said that came back to bite me in the butt was when my oldest was picking his nose at the grocery store, when he was about 3, I asked, “What did I say about that?” He answered, “I know…stop playing with my nose. My nose is not a toy. My penis is not a toy.” He said it loudly and two checkout lanes of people had a good laugh but in his defense, at that time, I was saying that a lot.

  48. “Listen!” – “Not so rough” – “Be nice to your brother” –  “Don’t throw that!” … And all the things you mentioned as well!  And I so agree…I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  50. Okay…. so I’ve been a mom of girls up until 2 years ago and now I have a boy! I find myself saying some of those things more than I think I need too…. and he’s only 2 1/2!

    • It’s a different world, isn’t it? I’d probably be in for culture shock if I had a girl.

  51. When my girls were small, my best friend and I used to talk constantly on the phone. She, like you, had 3 boys. 
    While I used to stuff them full of Oreos on my end, just to silence the talky talk long enough for me to have an adult conversation, my friend was on the other line, constantly yelling, “STOP TOUCHING IT.”
    I don’t think anything changes. 

  52. How sad is it that I can relate to the “Get your hands out of your pants!”…and that’s to my 14 year old…sigh…I’ve been a bad bloggy friend, I’ve been so busy with school, but I leave and I come back, and look at you, you’re the fricken Bloggess with all these comments! Go you!

  55. I think boys are really more stubborn than guys. But stubborn or not, I know all of us still cherish our kid. They’re our most treasured gifts ever. 

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