Much as he can irritate me, I do love Hubs.
I love how he can make me laugh.
I thought I’d share some of his sense of humor with you- to show you what this man is like who is married to moi.
So, I’ll take you through his various comments as he was going through the big V, snip-snip, this summer. Warning: given what this is about, if the words balls or sack disturbs you, you might want to stop reading now.
First of all, when we were talking about it, I got the name of a doctor from my BFF, whose husband STILL hasn’t told any family or friends that he had it done. Sorry, dude, but I think I pretty much know which husbands have had it done and which haven’t- we women talk.
Anyway, the first time that Hubs met BFF’s Hubby was at Bear and Cub’s birthday party. Pretty much right after introducing them, Hubs says, “So, I have to know, how much does it hurt?” BFF’s Hubby gives him a blank look, so Hubs continues, “When you had your balls cut?” That’s more blunt than funny, though if you saw the look on the other guy’s face when asked that question, you would have laughed.
It took Hubs about two months after that to call the office to set up an appointment.
As he was talking to the receptionist, he asked “How do they do this, anyway? If you mention a cherry bomb, I’m hanging up right now.”
She just laughed at him.
Then, he asked how much this was going to cost him.
He wanted to play let’s make a deal, so he asked, “If they don’t use any anesthesia, will you give it to me for $250?”
They continued to chat and he found out that he needed to come in for a consultation and then scheduled his surgery. He asked, “So, who all is going to be in looking at my junk?”
C’mon- you know you would have loved to see the look on this receptionist’s face during this phone call.
Next, he gets a thick envelope in the mail from the office with info about his snip.
So, he starts asking me about how he should groom himself for the visit and suggests different shapes. I was laughing so hard at his descriptions that I was literally crying.
BFF tells me(because of course I told her about this conversation) about this hair removal stuff called Magic that works really well on coarse hair and he could always use that.
I make the mistake of mentioning it to Hubs and he says, “Peanut, I don’t need any more magic down in that area.”
Time for the consultation.
He’s being examined and he says to the (female) doctor, “Sooooo, while you’re down there….” and the doctor burst out laughing.
He schedules his procedure- he can get in in just 2 weeks if he gets the traditional snip or he has to wait 3 months if he wants to wait for the doctor who does the “no scapel” kind.
He opts for the traditional because he wants to get it done soon and besides, “My swimmers are so strong, it will take a scapel to stop them.”
He gets the procedure done, comes home and acts like a baby for the weekend, and then goes back to work(I wasn’t there for it, so I don’t know what he said during it, unfortunately).
Gets the nickname “Cowboy” from people at work…and he tells them, “Of course I’m walking like that, my sack is the size of a grapefruit or maybe a small dog.”
Anyway, there’s a little glimpse into the mind of the man I’ve been married to for almost 7 years. How I love him.