Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

5 Ways to Make New Blog Friends

You have a blog. You’d like people to read that blog. Or you’d like more people to read it.

But, you feel a little stuck. HOW do you get to know people in the blogosphere? It really doesn’t work to just sit on your blog and wait for people to find you.

Twitter is one way, but we’ll (mostly) save that for another time. Today, let’s talk about commenting. And I mean REAL commenting: the type you want. When someone comments on your post, you want to know they read it, right? It’s disappointing if their post is all about them and their blog. “Come visit me!” or “Visiting from XYZ linky!” or continuing a conversation started by a comment on their blog without mentioning what you wrote is just rude. But, leaving a thoughtful comment is a great way to start a blog friendship.

But, where do you find the blogs to comment on?  Where do you start? I have a few suggestions for you! Though, I do have to say before we even start the list that you should start with those who are already talking to you! The very first blogs I visit each day are the ones who take time to comment on mine. THEN, I’d go look for more friends!

1. Choose a blog that you like with an active community. Where people comment and join in.  Now, go meet those people!  Click on their profiles and go check out their blogs.

2. Choose a blog that you adore and check out their blogroll.  If you trust their opinion, you will probably like some of the blogs on their blogroll, too.

3.  Join in a link-up that interests you. Probably not one whose only goal is to get new followers. But, one like my Pour Your Heart Out or Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop or Only Parent Chronicles’ Post-it Note Tuesday.  If fiction is your thing, check out The Red Dress Club.  There are photography linkies, recipe linkies, craft linkies: chose something that you actually like!  And then YOU go visit as many of the linkers as you possibly can.

4.  Check out the blogs of people you follow on twitter. No, not every person on twitter has a blog, but if you enjoy talking to someone on twitter, check out their profile and see if they do have a blog.

5.  Ask on twitter- tweet out “Tell me your favorite blog that I might not know about!” Or you could even blog this and ask for suggestions.

Hey, I’ll do this right now- when you comment, leave a link to a blog you love.

Come back next week for part 2 of Making Blog Friends: 5 Things NOT to Do

Comments

  1. I love visiting the blogs on other people's blogrolls. I have found amazing blogs by doing it.

  2. What a great post, I had no idea how to find great bloggers until I joined twitter, that is when I found other bloggers whose personalities I truly liked and then enjoyed their blogs too. The link-ups are a great help too. My latest favorite is sellabitmum but you already know her. 🙂

  3. Hey Shell, as always you are full of the wisdom 🙂

    These are great suggestions for making new blog freinds.
    An Aussie blogger I have recently fallen in love with (in a BLOG sense) did a post on a similar topic and said basically look for commenty people – people who are already commenting, go and visit their blogs and talk to them.
    Which is pretty much what you've said.
    So you know I actually READ what you write, aye??
    Love Your Work.
    ♥
    xx

  4. I absolutely hate it when the only comment I get is one of those "hey, visting from here, new follower, please follow me back at …" It's annoying and rude.

  5. Thanks for these tips. I have met some amazing people through the blog community by doing the things you've mentioned. When I started My 3 Little Birds I had NO IDEA about the amount of networking that had to be done to get to the point where a blog has a momentum of its own. I'm so glad I focused on networking, and not only because it helped get my blog "moving."

  6. I love all these ideas. They were so important to me last summer when I was starting out.
    I think it is so important to make thoughtful comments that showed that you actually read the post – really inspires people to check you out and start that conversation. After all that is what this blogging world is all about – making connections.

    Go check out Annie from a Stone's Throw from Insanity. She is funny, sarcastic, and cute as a button, and loves Target. I love her. http://astonesthrowfrominsanity.blogspot.com/

    I will be back later to check out some of the other links peole have added.

    Oh and PYHO has been the best for finding wonderful blogs to read.

  8. I remember back to the early days when I was actually searching for blogs to read – Ha! Now there are just too many! 🙂

  9. LOL.

    That and the "Love your blog, pls come visit me at my blog." Most of the time, they can't even be bothered to spell out "please." Infuriates me.

    Those are great tips. Other bloggers are constantly asking me how to get readers, I'm going to nudge them over here.

    And it's funny because when I first started blogging, I did just that. I sat on my ass waiting for the commenters, shocked that they weren't appearing out of thin air. I know. I'm incredibly bright.

    Hmmm, as for another blogger. There are so many I love! Well, besides you, of course, I'll give a shout out today to Gigi from Kludgy Mom at http://www.kludgymom.com/ because she never ceases to make me laugh or amaze me with her fierce cooking skills or take my breath away with her beautiful tales of motherhood. Not to mention, she's quite technological and uses words I've never even heard of when it comes to the computer.

    Great idea, Shell!

  11. This is really great perspective. Good point about the link ups that only want to get new followers. Eeek. Yuck. Ewwww.

  12. Great advice, Shell! I've also found that sometimes the most unlikely blogs end up being your friends. You might think you don't have much in common (different age groups, different blog philosophies) but you just end up meeting a very supportive person and appreciating the differences.

  13. Great tips and advice. I have done some and new to do more of them. There are so many great blogs out there just waiting to be found so this is a great way to get to them and help your blog visits in the process

  15. Okay, y'all- I don't usually reply in my own comments- I usually do via email if you have your email in your profile, but I had to say this.

    Full of widsom??? Or full of…. LMAO

    And yes, I do have a lot of blogs that I read. But, when you stop looking for new blogs, to me that means that you have your circle and you don't care to include anyone else. I never want to be like that. New friends are always welcome! 🙂

  16. Love it SHell. Authenticity is key.

    And as for my favorite blogger? Anymommy. She screams authenticity and hilarity. Perfect.

  19. Now we know the secrets of how you got so many followers! 🙂 Well besides the fact that you have an awesome blog 🙂 Those are all great tips, and I need to check out people's blog roll more…I go through phases. I just found this blog the other day, and I am really enjoying it:
    http://www.pampersandpinot.com/

  20. You give the best advice!!! Thank You, it really helps to know that someone is willing to help, and not just give a bunch of useless information. You make the blogging world a little less intimidating 🙂

  21. Great post! Your blog is always one I check out when I log in because I like what your topics are and your blog is just so stinkin cute! 🙂
    It's funny I just reached the big 200 followers number and only have a few faithful commentors..so either my stuff is not interesting enough to comment on or I've collected people that just follow in hopes that I will follow back (I don't…I only follow blogs that I find interesting to me)

    I do try and leave comments when I find something I like just so they know someone out there is reading…I know I appreciate that!

    Anyway…another great post. Thank you!

  23. I love the idea of interacting with other people that like the same blog or community. I have started to do this more and have found some great blogs (and people!). Great tips!!!

  24. What a great post! I love reading the PYHO posts, even when I don't participate, and I've found some great people through The Red Dress Club and Mama Kat.

    I don't know if you read Kir at http://www.thekircorner.com/
    but she is fabulous. She has a lovely blog and is also just an all around cool person.

  25. What great advice. I wish I would have had something like this when I first started blogging! I agree that the blog roll is a great idea to find new blogs!

  26. Great post, Shell! 🙂 I've seen an evolution in my blog friendships over the last month or two … I'm making some very cool new friendships through blogs (and twitter, of course) that I never expected. I think YOU are a fabulous bloggy friend because you always visit the people who participate in PYHO and you reply to comments made on your blog. You are on a very short list of "big" bloggers who do this and it's part of what makes you awesome. 🙂 This "little" blogger thanks you!

    Sidenote: I haven't been able to muster a PYHO in a few weeks. Again, I'm faced with the issue that my blog ISN'T anonymous because what I REALLY want to write about … I can't.

  27. These are definitely wise words.

    I've also used comments on other blogs to find new blogs to read. If I keep seeing the same name over and over, eventually curiosity will get the best of me and I'll click over.

  28. Great post!

    And thank you for introducing me to The Red Dress Club. I'd never heard of that blog and their RemebeRED meme looks right up my alley. Thanks! 😉

  29. Your post is right on. It took me awhile to start getting my grove (still working on it) but by finding bloggers that you actually enjoy and relate too…it just all starts to flow.

  30. Good ideas – I'm trying to find more readers so I may look into more of those, I link up a lot already 🙂

  31. I always read other people's blogs, and try to leave a real comment if I feel moved to…great advice, thanks for taking the time to educate.
    Tracy

  32. Great advice Shell! And I agree with you, even though there are so many blogs out there, I love meeting new people, reading new blogs and finding new friends! I think it keeps it fresh and that's how you actually grow!

    One of my favorites is Mommyfriend…www.mommyfriend.com. Love her!

  33. Love this. Finding a community I connect with by visiting blogs and through twitter has been amazing.

  34. Great advice- I find some of my favorite blogs through clicking on people's blogrolls and checking out posts I think are interesting. Sometimes I even forget how I actually got there!

  36. Great tips Shell and you have an awesome blog!

    Still being new to blogging next week scares me as I've probably already done the 5 things you're going to list for what not to do. (LoL)

  37. Really good suggestions – especially the commenting part. Honestly I hate it when people comment "I'm coming from XYZ blog" and add their link and then that's all they comment. What am I supposed to get out of it?!

    I joined you on Twitter – just started that platform, not too sure how helpful it is/will be but…worth a shot!

    Thanks for your advice!

  38. Great suggestions! Sometimes I get so caught up in reading other blogs from my friends blogrolls that I don't get anything done! one of my guilty pleasures I guess!

  39. Shell – I always know I'll get great tips, ideas or even just a good read when I see a post of yours in my Google Reader. I think I'm the worst at commenting, but I'm working to change this fact. Your post today was just what I needed to jump-start my apathetic nature toward commenting. I can't wait to read the 5 what not to do's! Thanks for sharing.

    A great blog that I found recently and love is written by an interior designer. Her posts and the images are wonderful. Go check her out if you are into coffee, design, or just want to see some awesome luxe photos. http://lifeinaventicup.com

  40. This was (once again) great advice!! You're like a Blog- Yoda (except, you know, not green or frog- like!).

    My new favorite right now is The Child. She write such beautiful posts, and leaves the kindest comments. Love her!!

    http://thechild-kim.blogspot.com/

  41. absolutely great tips! I hate when people come over and just say "come to my blog yada yada yada" I need something that tells me that you are interesting and I would enjoy reading!

  42. I have been blogging for more than a year. I really dont get that many comments let alone comments about what i write. Its mainly following from a blog hop. I didnt realize utilizing twitter would help. Thanks for this article

  43. My blog has really stagnated. This issue is my problem exactly: I only have time to visit so many blogs! Now that I'm working part-time, I'm at my limit. While I'll occasionally add a new blog to follow and comment on here and there, it's tough to keep up with all of them as it is!

  46. If I see someone that also always seems to be commenting on the blogs I comment on I will often go check out their blog as we obviously like the same things 🙂
    Great tips

  47. I've done a few blog hops but I usually end up deleting the blogs I started following because they don't interest me at all. With so little time for reading now I need blogs that actually do something for me!

    I will say I love reading Sara's blog – http://www.lifes-recipe.com/ – her sense of humor never fails to get me smiling!

  49. You have some great words of advice, Shell. I always appreciate your comments and email responses. Honestly, I don't know how you find the time to do it! Very impressive. I'll be sure to check back for part two, crossing my fingers that I'm not guilty!

    A recent blog that I've found, and is quite hilarious is:
    http://facing50withhumour.blogspot.com

  50. Funny, because I think Twitter has actually been part of the demise of actual comments on blogs. My comments are half of what they were a year ago, and I've heard that from a ton of bloggers.

  52. Thanks to you and PYHO, and I fully accredit you for this, I've gained at least 15 new followers in two months. 🙂 Thanks Shell.

  54. #1 and #2 were the main ways I found blogs when I started out. I figured if we liked the same people then it had to be good, and I was right. I've never been a follow for a follow person. I like to read/follow blogs that I find interesting and that I think I'll actually like the person in real life that I'm reading.

  55. That really is great advice! I always check out blogs that I read daily's blogroll and see who they are reading. Like you said, if you like what they say & trust them, you'll probably like the linked blogs as well.

  56. I love befriending people who leave humorous comments on other blogs. I have met some cool folks that way.

    (I really hope I am not guilty of the any of the FIVE things. Now I am worried.)

    Am I going to have to give in and learn to Twitter one of these days?

  60. People seem to completely forget about Blog Rolls. Isn't that what they are there for? Blogs I love… hmm. I could name dozens, but I'm loving "The Mom Diggity" lately. Such a sweet gal. http://www.themomdiggity.com

  61. this was fantastic Shell, I hope I am doing all of these things and I can't wait to see the list of what NOT to do.

    I would love to have more traffic on my blog. 🙂

  62. What a great post! I think everyone wonders how they can create more traffic on their blog. Oh, and I love your blog! You have a great sense of humor!

    xoxo
    Blogging Blondie

  63. I wish someone was around to tell me this when I first started…it took me a couple months to figure it out!

    Gotta link to my girl Ally @ 400 Wake-ups, formerly of Magnolias & Mimosas. She has a way of making me laugh AND cry within seconds.

    http://400wakeups.blogspot.com

  64. The comments are so important. I get so many that are "I follow you, please follow me"….drives me crazy! They are all about just getting followers and not developing friendships and following great blogs!

    I am still trying to get use to twitter…it moves so fast so will be looking forward to that post "someday."

  65. This is so helpful. It just confirms one of the things I love about blogging is the communities you can be a part of. Yours being one of them, Shell.

    One of my favorite bloggers who I believe is new to the scene and so cool is http://mamatrack.com/. Check her out!

  66. Or you could just go out and find yourself a pimp right?
    I really like
    http://www.lolais40.com
    she's blunt, funny, sassy and so cool.

    I agree with you 100% about blog rolls.
    That's the way to network.

    I also think that promoting your "competitors" is a good way. And be sure to give love to all your favorite bloggers, they'll return the favor.

  68. I think you forgot to mention that you share great blogs on your BFF posts weekly too.

  70. I do all those things and they do pay off…but not fast enough!! At some point we may need to talk about patience 😉 Why, as a mom who constantly wishes for more patience with her kids, did I start a BLOG for pete's sake! (Just kidding. Mostly) I love Her Bad Mother along with the rest of the world.

  71. I love these ideas! I've been being a little hermit-y lately, this is just what I needed to see to get back out there. I really don't like those follow me back linkys either. They don't seem to work very well for me.

  73. Shell you're awesome and I love that you're so generous with us (little) bloggers and take time to comment regularly. It's very rare indeed. Thanks for sharing all of your tips…there are so many awesome blogs out there but one I recently found that is not well known but very well written (and funny too) is: http://www.thedailydoty.com/

  74. Sometimes I miss blogrolls because they used to make it really easy to find new blogs to read.

    I like Motherese (http://mothereseblog.com/)

    As a father I relate to a lot of it but there are things in there that are outside of my experience. I know what it means to have a pregnant wife, but not to be pregnant etc.

  75. when people comment on my blog saying " Im following from such and such", I dont ever follow them back! – partly its because im a horrible new friend blogger because I never take the time to read new blogs – I just read the ones already in my blog roll – like yours 🙂

  77. Thank you for saying this! I love it when you bigger bloggers spill your secrets! And yes, the comments that say "Hi, I'm your newest follower" drive me NUTS! Not one of them has ever come back to my blog.

    I really like http://stephanieinsuburbia.blogspot.com/ lately. She and I seem so similar!

  78. I just found your blog yesterday through Blogroll surfing! Great advice. I love the new community blogging has opened up for me.

  79. Hi! I just found your blog, and what a great "first post" for me to read! I agree with all your tips. As for blogs I like, there are many, but two of my favorites are MommyShorts (www.mommyshorts.com) and Julie Gardner – By Any Other Name (www.juliecgardner.com).

  80. Excellent tips. I am so with you on the right way to comment. I think you probably know about most of the blogs I like – i've either met them through your link party or red dress club.

  82. First of all, great tips.

    Second, LOVE the idea of everyone listing their fave blogs.

    Third, I have so many in my Google Reader it's about to implode, but I still love finding new ones.

    In that vein, posts that are advertised on Twitter are often the only ones I get to each day because the link is right there. I HIGHLY recommend Twitter for that reason alone. I don't think it deters from comments. I still comment the same; I just may not visit a blog whose post hasn't been tweeted because I only have so much time in the day.

    Fourth, I'm shocked there's very little overlap in the fave blogs – how cool is that?

    Finally, two of my favorites are http://www.taminginsanity.com and http://www.inpursuitofitall.com

  83. I love the blogs with Comment Luv on them, I love seeing the post names and being able to read then and there! I agree, nothing that makes me want to talk to people LESS than when they are like, "just visiting from a link!" um, did you even read my post?

  84. such an awesome post….great tips! 🙂 a blog i'm loving right now would be…ah, there are too many to choose from! 🙂

  87. I used to have a solid base of blog friends, but lately they've felt few and far between! Part of it is my fault… I haven't been commenting on their blogs as much as I should! I would love to get back to have a lot of bloggy friends!

    A blog I love is "If You Ask Me"! She writes hilarious recaps of The Bachelor(ette) and always has a good story to tell! I really enjoy her blog! Her blog is http://audcole.com

  90. I have been friends with EmmyMom IRL since I started blogging. SHe introduced me to it–well got me back into it. It's great. I love the women I have become cyber friends with and i look forward to their posts and comments each day.

  91. Solid advice. It is hard in the beginning to know where to find blogs to read but there are so many out there.

  92. More great advice from a blogger extrodinaire! Funny you posted this today because I finally got myself on the list to receive Mama Kat's email prompts and linked up for the first time in a long time again today.

    Can't wait for Part 2… I'm sure I'll find I'm doing everything wrong!

  93. Great tips 🙂 I think the 5 things NOT to do sounds fun…hope there doesn't end up being anything I've ever done before on it!

  94. Blogfeog is also a great way to find blogs or even joining a mommy blog community.

  95. Such great blogs for me to check out…must get 4-year-old to cook dinner for other kids so i can sit back and read all of them. Thanks for posting and for offering your suggestions.

  96. My favorite thing, next to the "stopping by from…" comments is typing out a comment from my phone in the doctor's office this morning, hitting submit and then losing signal. Love that. Happened to me on this very post this morning. Damn.

    The jest was (I think) that when I started blogging, I did exactly that. I rushed through reading the post, mentioned where I was "stopping by" from, followed, and moved on. I think I did that because that's what people were doing to my blog. I realize how stupid that was now, and am so grateful to the quality over quantity relationships I've built through the link ups you mentioned in this post. Good stuff. I'm always trying to learn from "the greats" and you are one of them. 🙂

  97. I also love Follow Fridays (#FF hashtag on Twitter) b/c if it's someone I really like and they recommend someone else, I am likely to follow.

    Also on Twitter, I like #commenthour on Wednesday nights by SITS girls. I always find great new blogs and the support is awesome.

  98. Great advice. Leaving a meaningful (not meaningless) comment on a blog is key, but you should do so with some frequency, not just once. Right? Go back and visit / comment often, to establish a relationship. And that blogger will most likely reciprocate.
    Looking forward to reading Part 2!

  100. I love this post! It's awesome that you have such a variety of things you talk about on here, girl. I'm always finding some great blogs from others that I read. I can't wait to see what you have for what NOT to do. Yikes!

    I love reading Stories From the Shoebox. http://www.storiesfromtheshoebox.com/
    It was hard to choose just one because I have several must reads.

  101. LOVE this post! I check out other people's blogrolls all the time looking for new sites to read. And the commenting? Best way to get readers. Ever.

    Thank goodness for Pour Your Heart Out and Mama Kat's Writers Workshop! Love these two! I'm too scared to try TRDC yet!

  102. Thanks for the tips!. Thankfully I'm already doing some of the steps you mentioned, but I'm still very dumb at tweeting.

  104. These tips are fabulous.
    I like visiting blogrolls for networks like Multiples and More or others that have things in common with me.

  105. I had no idea you could use baby powder to get sand off. Thanks for the tip!

  106. Such great ideas…I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've got to get out more! 🙂 Have a great weekend.

    Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner

  108. Excellent advice! Getting a thoughtful comment is so wonderful and I think the more thoughtful comments you give, the more you get.

    Looking forward to the 5 Things NOT to DO. I've got mami-brain right now, so I hope I don't miss it.

  109. Superb advice, Shell! I've found the majority of my best blog friends through memes and the relationships have definitely blossomed via comments!

  110. Good Lord this got a lot of comments!

    Just wanted to thank you for the shout-out for TRDC, my friend!

    xo

  111. Shell –

    You never cease to amaze me with your generosity here.

    Always giving shout-outs and advice, a place for people to be honest and authentic.

    And then you reply in emails…

    Holy cow, lady.

    How do you do it all?

    Picture me impressed…

    (and now I have a ton of awesome new blogs to visit.)

  112. Hi Shell!
    Great post on commenting…. my favorite blogs are:

    Get Your Kludgy On
    Parenting BY Dummies
    Moments that Define Life
    The Aums
    (of course yours!)

    and a big bunch more that focus on blogging… and on crafts… and on cooking.

    Truly- I follow many many blogs right now!

  113. What a great post, Shell. I have no idea how you find the time to leave all the bloggy love that you do, but I respect you all the more because of it.

    One of my favorite blogs is from a girl named Shana at http://www.fumblingtowardsnormalcy.com. I've had the pleasure to meet Shana on a few occasions and she covers all the little nuances about life in the big city. She's awesome 🙂

  114. Thanks for the tips, Shell 🙂 I'll check out some of the linkies you mentioned too. It's so fun to discover a new blog that speaks to me. I feel less alone in my happiness or sadness when I do. Isn't it amazing to have found some kindred spirits though we have never met?

    I'd love suggestions on how to encourage more comments on my blog. I see in my stats that people have visited but no commentary. Friends and family will email me or message me on FB to say they loved a recent post! I guess this is reassuring because I otherwise assume that nobody can relate to my experience or that I'm boring 🙁

    A blog-friend:
    http://myhappiness-log.blogspot.com/

  115. As a relatively new blogger, this was very helpful information. I came to your blog via twitter and I must say I love clicking on all the blogs by those I follow on twitter. I have about 50 or so in my reader and try to add a new one each day.

    One of my faves is http://www.mommyfriend.com. That gal is a serious riot!

  117. Sometimes I don't know if I'm breaking the rules or not and it's a bit paralyzing if I'm being honest. For example, I posted about a subject recently, then when I went through my Reader I saw someone else had posted about the same subject, same day. It was a big blog. Having read before that big(ger) bloggers don't like seeing that people have posted the same stuff as them as if it were their idea to begin with, I put a comment on saying something like, "Wow, how neat – you and I wrote about similar topics today!" Then I went onto write a comment about her post and why it resonated with me and why. I didn't put the link in my actual comment, though when I filled out the information that identifies, I included my blog's address (which I always do). She didn't comment back or acknowledge at all. Which is fine, I don't expect that necessarily, but I do wonder if I breached a rule or offended her or if (worst of all) she thought I was copying by posting something on the same day.

    I schedule my topics out 2-3 weeks in advance, so it was a total coincidence, but still I wonder.

    Sometimes that kind of thing makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells in the blogosphere.

    And while I'm emoting for a lonnnnnng time here, my question for you all is this – how often do you comment on someone's blog when you get NO response back before moving onto try to find someone else to connect with? I know the really big blogs sometimes don't comment back at all and I'm mainly talking about small to medium sized blogs here – ones that I sometimes try to support in the same way I'd like support as a new blogger.

    Anyway, love this post – super helpful for those of us who are semi-new. 🙂

  119. Stopping by to leave my link. Come visit me back and I'll follow you.

    HAAAAA! Just kidding. That really is annoying though.

    I'd really LOVE to have some more hours in the day. I miss the visiting new people or the people who DON'T come visit me anymore simply because I haven't the time to get around to visit them. With summer here and the school year winding down (YES I AM STILL IN SCHOOL!) I am hoping to find some more time to visit and comment and get back to reading just as much as posting! Awesome tips though!!

  120. I love how this post reminds how much you helped me when I first began blogging.

    I had forgotten how I didn't know where to start.

    It's all coming back to me now, your help.

    I'd say, new bloggers especially can follow you, holding on to the tow rope that you are.

  121. To this day I cringe when I see "Following you from blah blah blah, follow me back!".

    You share so many good ideas here! I think everyone faces that initial learning curve when it comes to the real nuts and bolts of blogging – it can come as such a surprise.

  122. So, I found your blog through another blog's blogroll. Thanks for the tips! I am a VERY new blogger and am still trying to figure out how to navigate the blogosphere. Thanks so much for showing me the ropes!