Realize that love is a choice. It’s not just about having that fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach. It’s not a crush. It’s long term. And sometimes that doesn’t always look so romantic. And sometimes it’s reminding yourself that you do love your spouse. Love is a decision.
Think before you blast your husband on facebook. Or twitter or your blog or even with a group of other moms(totally okay to have a good friend that you vent to). No one else really knows what goes on in my marriage. But do you know what they do know? What I tell them. So if I’m only posting about him when Hubs does something that irritates me, you’ll get the wrong impression that my husband is an asshole. (The amount of traffic that post gets from searches about “asshole husbands” and “my husband is an asshole” is crazytown, y’all. It’s probably also really disappointing when women who are searching for that come across my thoughts on the matter).
If you are putting bad stuff out there about your husband, other people get a bad impression and then you’re hearing them talk negatively about your spouse, which can then make you start to rethink your relationship. There’s no need to pretend like you have the world’s most perfect marriage(ew, I don’t think those exist) but if your facebook statuses reflect that you have the world’s worst, you might want to change what you’re posting.
Put your husband first. Your job, the laundry, the KIDS. So much to do. But my husband is the one I go to for support with it all. And he’s the one who will still be there when the rest of it isn’t(well, laundry never goes away, either, but still), so he needs to always be my priority.
Don’t hold grudges. Hubs and I have been married for over 10 years now. And we’ve both done or said things we probably shouldn’t have during that time. Shocking, right? That we wouldn’t be perfect every moment of every single day for over 10 years? It doesn’t solve anything to constantly bring that crap back up.
Have sex. A lot of it. Sex doesn’t fix problems, but it certainly doesn’t hurt anything, either.
What would you add to this list?
Linking with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.