Expectations and Confidence: Pour Your Heart Out

My five year old operates under the assumption that everyone adores him. That everyone wants to be his friend and everyone wants to be around him all the time.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend of one of his older brothers’, someone who is a few years older than he is. Or the son or daughter of one of our friends- a child in middle school or high school. It can even be friends of ours.

He just expects that spending time with him(or even following his lead) is what everyone wants to do.

His confidence is off the charts. He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s smart, he’s sweet… why wouldn’t you want to be his good friend?

first day

And the funny thing is that because this is how he expects to be treated, it’s how he is treated.

It makes me think there is something to the idea that others treat you how you teach them to treat you.

And that confidence is a powerful thing.

Add this to the list of things my kids teach me.

Do you think there’s something to being treated the way you expect to be treated? What have your kids taught you?

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Comments

  1. I love children’s confidence. My youngest, although only 2, already knows the powers of his charms. Everyone loves him, everyone wants to say hello to him. You get back what you give out, right?

    (thank you for the highlight!)
    Alison recently posted..Baby Blanket GoodnessMy Profile

  2. How interesting. I think you are right – if you treat everyone nicely, you’re going to get it back. 
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  3. I can see this in my kids as well, not exactly the same characteristics but that they are treated the way they think the should be treated. I have been struggling with being more aware of my tone and trying not to get so frustrated so easily. On the days when I feel like I do pretty good everyone is a lot happier at bedtime. I hope that my kids can learn to be confident in the who they are. :)
    Anna Hettick recently posted..Mushroom, Spinach, & Cheese Scrambled EggsMy Profile

  4. I have somehow managed to raise three very confident children.  I was quite the opposite but I was determined that my kids would not have low self esteem like I did and WOW did I succeed.  LOL  My kids are not arrogant but they simply know that they are awesome, smart, friendly, kind, incredible people.  They blow me away.  ANYWAY, because they know they’re great, other people seem to accept it as fact and almost everyone they encounter will agree that they are awesome.  So yeah – definitely something to that theory!
    cyndy recently posted..And on the 30th Day, they Hodge Podged.My Profile

  5. he is adorably cute. i hope he keeps that confidence for years and years to come!
    Veronica Spriggs recently posted..Mira Instant On Digital Bathroom Scale ReviewMy Profile

  6. How very true! Our kids teach us so much. You are right, we often get what we expect.
    Molly Jo at Frankly, My Dear . . . recently posted..How Wrong is Donald Sterling?My Profile

  7. My six year old is kind of the same way.  And my guy is so cute & charming, that everyone actually does gravitate towards him.
    Robin (Masshole Mommy) recently posted..Easy Ways to Burn Calories Throughout the DayMy Profile

  8. I love that about kids, they are so confident and willing to talk to and play with anyone. 
    Julia recently posted..Homebody ProblemsMy Profile

  9. My daughter calls everyone she meets a friend- but when we are around 50% of them she won’t talk to them… Go figure! Great story!

  10. I think it’s great that your son has so much confidence. I’ve been trying to build my 6-year old up for years, she’s finally coming around and his more confidant than before, but it still takes time. My youngest is confidant, he’s the opposite of his big sister. I like how all kids are unique in their own ways. Your son is a cutie pie.
    Tiffany (Fabulous Mom Blog) recently posted..Creating a new Spring wardrobe with GymboreeMy Profile

  11. Both my kids are more timid, but I love watching their confidence shine through every now and then. Great story about your little :)
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  12. I totally agree!  I think that confidence is so huge and that it can totally make the difference in how people perceive you and how people treat you!  It’s great that you son is so confident!
    Lisa Joy Thompson recently posted..Teachers Change Lives: Help a Teacher Make Even More of a Difference!My Profile

  13. That is so awesome and I so hope he keeps that gift.  My Alex is the same way, it really is amazing to watch how easily so many things happen for her.  As a parent I struggle with helping her keep that confidence but also remain humble.  
    Emmy recently posted..You Really Do MatterMy Profile

  14. My teen does this thing where she will look in the mirror and say, “I look good today” or “I am so attractive.” Sometimes she is joking but mostly she is being confident about the way she looks and feels. I love that she is confident and feeling so strong about herself. I applaud your little one and hope that he keeps that positive feeling especially when people try to beat it out of him. 
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  15. Confidence is a great thing! I’ll have to work hard to instill it into mine since they are not confident by nature.
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  16. I think it is awesome that he is that confident and people are drawn to him. I absolutely do believe you lead how people treat you in how you act around them.. and I am going to have a mini hissy fit now because you had disappeared from my feed and I thought you were lost forever.. I am trying to find you on Bloglovin to get you back on my list where you belong.. grrrr
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  17. Sounds very much like my youngest, also 5 years old. She has so much confidence and I only wish I had a little of it some days! :)
    Susi recently posted..My mom’s garden {Wordless Wednesday}My Profile

  18. My 4 year old is the exact same way! I find myself telling her, “Mia Grace, remember sometimes the “big girls” in our neighborhood just want to be alone” and no sooner are those words coming out of mouth, than one of them is knocking on our door to see if she can play! :) I can definitely learn a thing or two from her confidence and outgoing personality because I’m such a shy person. Your son is precious!!! :)
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  19. When I was in high school i overheard my mom watching Dr. Phil. One of his biggest philosophies is that you TEACH people how to treat you. It’s true!
    Lindsey @ Redhead Baby Mama recently posted..The @21cCincinnati Museum HotelMy Profile

  20. That’s wonderful! I think my son is like that. My daughter…..maybe she’ll get there. I hope she does!
    Jennifer Hall recently posted..The View From Here: Four Years a BloggerMy Profile

  21. I fully believe if you treat others nice, you will be treated nice back. I try to teach this to my daughter and show her every day.
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  22. That’s a wise boy you’ve got right there! :) 
    Natalie recently posted..What Jerry Seinfeld Taught Me About ParenthoodMy Profile

  23. My son is a little confident too! He is only two but he walks up to everyone and gives hugs and kisses. It’s sweet.
    Krystal recently posted..Spring Seafood Salad RecipesMy Profile

  24. He is a handsome little boy! I don’t have kids, but I know my parents taught me to act how I want to be treated, confidence, but not arrogance.  In other words- I sometimes won, I sometimes lost and didn’t have to be the best at everything, but I was also assured that I was good at many things. 
    Jessica (Savory Experiments) recently posted..WEDNESDAY ROUNDUP #23My Profile

  25. I love that about him. My daugter was that way. She’s got great self esteem still today at 8.

  26. What a great reminder to treat people how we want to be treated. Others are influenced by our attitude and our behavior. Your sweet boy is proof of that.
    Roxanne recently posted..Thoughts on habits of successful people {Pour Your Heart Out}My Profile

  27. I wish I had that kind of confidence as a kid! I was always too shy to go outside, haha.
    Isabella Grey recently posted..Delightful DragonsMy Profile

  28. My mom often says that people treat us the way we have taught them to. Usually if we are griping about some abused ‘friend’ or someone else. I do agree with this. If we show people what we expect, that’s what we will get.
    Katy Rawson recently posted..Save with Macy’s Friends & Family SaleMy Profile

  29. I totally envy him that type of confidence. That’s awesome to have that! 
    Liz Mays recently posted..I’ve Got Baby Groables!My Profile

  30. Such a wonderful little boy. I love his confidence. My four year old is similar to your son. He loves people and being around them. 
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  31. First of all, your son is a cutie! I’m always amazed just how much I learn from my 18 month old son – he teaches me to always be happy no matter the circumstances! 
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  32. Your son is cute! I was not confident as a teen. my oldest is very confident about some things.
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  33. Isn’t it funny how at early ages many children are confident and almost fearless. Somewhere along the way it changes and they lose that innocence. It’s a shame.
    Jenn @ The Rebel Chick recently posted..Win a $500 Shopping Spree in the Havertys Pin it To Win It ContestMy Profile

  34. Very cute! My daughter is the same way. She’ll talk to anyone, and assume that they want to play with her. Even if they are teenagers. 
    Amber recently posted..Hey, It’s Okay Tuesday!My Profile

  35. I have 3 boys. And although they are each very different they are all pretty outgoing. Sounded like you described my oldest in your post. ;)
    Keikilani recently posted..T-Ball Opening Day 2014My Profile

  36. I really like the way he looks at things! His confidence certainly draws people to him.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Unplanned FunMy Profile

  37. That’s pretty awesome!! I think maybe some adults should think like he does.
    Jenni E. {Sweet Pennies from Heaven} recently posted..Old El Paso® Entrees – Quick and Easy WeekNight Meal #NoWayThatsFrozen #spons #PlatefullCoOpMy Profile

  38. Yes! I definitely agree with the treating others as you want to be treated.  What a great kid!
    Chrysa recently posted..5 Signs Your Cat Really DOES Love You + a GOODLIFE™ Cat Food CouponMy Profile

  39. This is so good, Shell. I love it! I need this, especially in my work life. I let people walk all over me because I don’t have as much confidence in that environment. But every time they do so, I feel like shit. I’m sick of feeling that way. I want to be confident just like your {baby} boy ;) Thank you for reminding me of that incredible truth. ~Jenna // A Mama Collective
    Jenna // A Mama Collective recently posted..Let’s Make Room for Growth :: 17/52My Profile

  40. Great post! I think it is better to treat people better than you expect to be treated. they will treat you better too
    Veronica recently posted..One Room Challenge: Studio Dining Room Week 5My Profile

  41. I love the confidence children have. It reminds me to find that confidence in myself!
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  42. I love this– thanks for speaking your mind. 
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  43. Love this post! My son knows the golden rule. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Sometimes they are nice, sometimes they are mean but it doesn’t stop him from being kind.
    Candy @ Candypolooza recently posted..RSVP for the #KoolOff Twitter Party 5/6My Profile

  44. This couldn’t be more true or more timely! I just wrote a post about my daughter teaching me the art of negotiation. More and more, my kids are teaching me how to follow my dreams. :)
    Camesha recently posted..Negotiation : Toddler StyleMy Profile

  45. He reminds me of my son at that age. They do expect to be the center of the world, lol. But it is true, if you expect the people to treat you well, in most cases they do it.
    Joanna Sormunen recently posted..Letters – Photo challengeMy Profile

  46. I love that he expects to be treated that way :) .  I definitely think there is something about how you carry yourself and value yourself as to how others treat you.
    Toni recently posted..Bath and Body Products For The Whole FamilyMy Profile

  47. Confidence in young kids is a wonderful thing!  He’ll grow up to be sure of himself and that will take him far.
    Amanda Her recently posted..Allstate Breaks New Ground with Hispanic Teen Drivers #VamosConCuidadoMy Profile

  48. YOUR son is so cute!!! I love it. Confidence goes a long way 
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  49. Your son looks like he is just radiating good vibes. So cute! I think it’s wonderful that he has this outlook on things. More of us need confidence.
    Chelsea recently posted..a day at the races! what i’d wear…My Profile

  50. I’ve been learning to be more forgiving and quick to forgive, thanks to my 3 year old’s example :)
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  51. I absolutely believe we teach people how to treat us. My daughter is much like your son, and she is very popular in her class. Parents comment to me on her confidence — how they as adults are not half as confident as she is at 7 years. But my son is exactly the opposite — and he has a very hard time at school. He’s extremely sensitive and always kind. Some boys take advantage of that – which is not his fault, you just can’t prevent some people from being jerks. But, if he stood up for himself and worried less about pleasing them; they wouldn’t make him a target. That would never happen with his sister — no one dare risk her disdain! LOL
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  52. I’ve learned a lot about confidence through my kid. I also love the way she can let things go. If someone doesn’t want to play with her, she just shrugs it off and goes and finds something else to do. I love how they can bounce back.
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