They are mocking me.
Sitting right beside me, staring up at me.
I try to ignore them, but I can’t any more.
My to-do lists scream out urgently at this point.
Only a week left until Christmas(and just a few days until Winter Break starts, which is the real deadline, isn’t it?).
But it seems that for every item I check off my list, I add two more to it.
So much going on in each of my three boys’ classrooms and schools. Bring drinks for that one, big bags of m&m’s for that one, stocking stuffers for that one and that one. Be in that class at this time but be sure to leave on time so as to get to the other one before the Christmas program starts.
And really, school is the easy part. (Bless the teacher who decided not to give homework this week.)
The shopping, the gifts, the baking and cooking, the decorating, the entertaining.
The shopping list is the one that mocks me the loudest, since the list of all the places I need to be for my boys’ schools understands that it gives me a stress headache, but it knows I’ll eventually check all those items off the list. But the shopping list, yeah, it’s aware that there’s no way all those items are getting crossed off.
It’s not that I’m trying to get too much. I’m well aware that my kids will be excited about whatever they open this year. (Especially any Skylanders SwapForce characters- imagine, they like something that isn’t pricey!)
But all those gifts that I’d like to be able to get people, but just can’t.
Or those that feel like have-to’s and I have no idea how to get that done, especially if I can’t even get to the want-to’s.
And then there’s my “it’s not Christmas unless you do this” list. That one is giggling at me, knowing there isn’t anywhere near enough time left to be able to get it all done. Or maybe not even half of it done. Hell, let’s be honest and admit it might a quarter of it, if I give up sleep.
So those lists sit there, mocking me. Making me think that I have to give up sleep and find a money tree and possibly get a magical house elf(not one on the shelf) in order to do it all. And if I don’t do it all, I fail Christmas.
Shut up, you stupid lists.
I’m starting over, with a new list. And all that is going on it are the things that absolutely have to get done between now and Christmas. And the rest of it, I’m letting go.
And you know what? I bet we’ll still have a very merry Christmas. In fact, we’ll probably have a better one if I’m not sobbing in the closet, hiding from those lists. What’s important will get done. And my boys will have smiles on their faces on Christmas morning. And so will I.
Since next week is Christmas and the week after is New Year’s, Pour Your Heart Out is going to take a two week break. Be sure to come back on January 7th and start your year off pouring your heart out.
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