They Are Mocking Me: Pour Your Heart Out

They are mocking me.

Sitting right beside me, staring up at me.

I try to ignore them, but I can’t any more.

My to-do lists scream out urgently at this point.

Only a week left until Christmas(and just a few days until Winter Break starts, which is the real deadline, isn’t it?).

But it seems that for every item I check off my list, I add two more to it.

christmas to do list

So much going on in each of my three boys’ classrooms and schools. Bring drinks for that one, big bags of m&m’s for that one, stocking stuffers for that one and that one. Be in that class at this time but be sure to leave on time so as to get to the other one before the Christmas program starts.

And really, school is the easy part. (Bless the teacher who decided not to give homework this week.)

The shopping, the gifts, the baking and cooking, the decorating, the entertaining.

The shopping list is the one that mocks me the loudest, since the list of all the places I need to be for my boys’ schools understands that it gives me a stress headache, but it knows I’ll eventually check all those items off the list. But the shopping list, yeah, it’s aware that there’s no way all those items are getting crossed off.

It’s not that I’m trying to get too much. I’m well aware that my kids will be excited about whatever they open this year. (Especially any Skylanders SwapForce characters- imagine, they like something that isn’t pricey!)

But all those gifts that I’d like to be able to get people, but just can’t.

Or those that feel like have-to’s and I have no idea how to get that done, especially if I can’t even get to the want-to’s.

And then there’s my “it’s not Christmas unless you do this” list. That one is giggling at me, knowing there isn’t anywhere near enough time left to be able to get it all done. Or maybe not even half of it done. Hell, let’s be honest and admit it might a quarter of it, if I give up sleep.

So those lists sit there, mocking me. Making me think that I have to give up sleep and find a money tree and possibly get a magical house elf(not one on the shelf) in order to do it all. And if I don’t do it all, I fail Christmas.

Shut up, you stupid lists.

I’m starting over, with a new list. And all that is going on it are the things that absolutely have to get done between now and Christmas. And the rest of it, I’m letting go.

And you know what? I bet we’ll still have a very merry Christmas. In fact, we’ll probably have a better one if I’m not sobbing in the closet, hiding from those lists. What’s important will get done. And my boys will have smiles on their faces on Christmas morning. And so will I.

Since next week is Christmas and the week after is New Year’s, Pour Your Heart Out is going to take a two week break. Be sure to come back on January 7th and start your year off pouring your heart out.

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    • Shell says

      I keep trying to remind myself that in less than a week, it will all be over! Until then, I’m drinking lots of coffee!

  1. says

    Besides cleaning in preparation for my mother coming, and food for Christmas dinner, I think I crossed the last THING to buy off the list! But yeah, preparing for Christmas is busy, busy!
    Jennifer Hall recently posted..My Hand PrintMy Profile

    • Shell says

      What a great feeling! I think I’ll actually be done after tomorrow morning. Except for the food. And cleaning.

  2. says

    Oh I love this!! I am a HUGE fan of lists but sometimes you just have to make sure those lists know who is really the boss of that relationship! Good for you! I have let my hubs take over the rest of the shopping because I keep stressing out when I don’t find something for someone. 

    Also, my teachers have been sending home homework every single night….grrrrr….and Miss Thang keeps telling me she’s GOT to read EVERY SINGLE DAY of Christmas Break.

    Not even happening….
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    • Shell says

      Yes, my oldest said the same about reading during the break. I’m just thankful his teacher isn’t making it be more. I wouldn’t put it past him!

  3. says

    The Christmas to do list is the worst.  My husband had to go to two different grocery stores to try and get the “approved” snacks.  It’s a little much sometimes.
    Barbara recently posted..Dear Santa,My Profile

    • Shell says

      Ha! It definitely can get stressful. And it seems like so much for just one day. After I wrote this and let go of my crazy lists, I feel so much better. Today was a whirlwind of a day with all I had to do at my boys’ schools but I had the absolute best time because I focused on being with them and not on silly to-do’s that aren’t really even important.

  4. says

    It will definitely be better if you aren’t sobbing in a closet!  Only you know what your lists contain and what doesn’t get finished!  Everyone else will be “full”…good for you for simplifying so that you don’t end up empty!
    Merry Christmas!
    michelle recently posted..What Grandparents TeachMy Profile

    • Shell says

      It’s so true. They won’t notice if something doesn’t get done(well, maybe they’d notice if we never got the tree up…).

    • Shell says

      My kids won’t even know if it all doesn’t get done. My husband won’t. No one but me. So I’m okay with letting some of it go!

  5. says

    I had a moment of pure panic this morning when I realized that we are down to a week.  We haven’t even put our tree up yet, and I finally had to just give in to accepting that it won’t happen until this weekend.  I figure it will take me a good few weeks to get back around to taking it down, so at least the kiddo will still get to enjoy it for a bit. So, yes, letting go.  I completely support that!
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    • Shell says

      We finally put up our tree today. Notice I didn’t say we decorated it. But it’s up. We’re getting there!

    • Shell says

      Yup, I crossed things out. And made one list of what absolutely had to be done. And put the rest on a “if there’s time” list that I’m not even going to bother looking at unless I get the first one done. I let go of the stress yesterday and had a fabulous day today. Do it, I totally recommend it.

  6. says

    The lists can get overwhelming. Sometimes it is alarming when I think of all I have to do and how very little time there is to do it. But, like you say, somehow it will get done and it is better to just not worry about it. 
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Running Standing StillMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I’ve learned that my kids are easily excited by the season. I don’t have to do much so I don’t know why I put so much pressure on myself. I’m done! 😉

  7. says

    Thank you for this post, Shell. I feel the same every year and am trying desperately to let a little more go this time around. If only my work list would magically disappear… I hope you have a merry, less stressful Christmas!
    Cheryl recently posted..Bronzed loveMy Profile

    • Shell says

      The work list can’t be ignored, unfortunately. But everything else- it’s important to realize that not everything is a must-do.

  8. Cynedra says

    Have yourself a Merry little Christmas. Remember the little part. Older son had only a little homework this week, first grader had none. I started this season more settled than usual and it has made some difference. I probably would have gotten more frantic about it as time went by, but then my car died and all my energy went into that instead. Again, enjoy yourself and your family and don’t sweat the small stuff. And most of it is small.

  9. says

    I think we all feel this way. And I get so overwhelmed with all that I have to do that I just start staring at Facebook and wasting even more time. Usually I get to a point where I just let whatever is left on the list go. I love this time of year but I hate all things to do.
    Julia recently posted..When a Baby is BornMy Profile

  10. says

    What are you doing inside my head? 😀

    This is my life! This is my sad little life with to-do lists judging me.

    Happy holidays anyway, dear Shell.
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