I’ll ‘fess up: whenever I screw up, it helps me to know that I’m not the only one who has ever committed that particular “mommy sin.”
It’s the beauty of social media: being able to share those less-than-perfect moments and (usually) receive more support than criticism. Other moms telling you they’ve done the same thing, or LOL’ing in response to make it feel like whatever you’ve done isn’t that big of a deal. Or the supportive “Don’t beat yourself up, we all make mistakes” blog comments.
Or maybe it’s seeing someone else confess their screw ups and being able to click “like” or “share” because we’ve so been there, too.
It can be a good thing: to see that no one is a perfect mom.
To feel less alone.
And really, us moms are way too hard on ourselves anyway. We confess “mommy sins” that are things that happen all. the. time. to EVERYONE.
Like realizing you have no idea when the last time was that your child took a bath but you’ve been at the pool a few times this week, so that counts, right?
Or deciding that the iPad can be the babysitter that day because you’re sick and don’t have the energy to move off the couch.
Or admitting to raising your voice because ohmyfreakinggosh, can’t that child get his shoes on before being asked 357 times and we’re late already and AAAAAAGH! Put on the dang shoes and let’s go NOW!
None of this makes any of us bad moms. And when I see moms share things like this, it does help ease that burden of thinking I’m not allowed any screw ups lest I permanently damage my children or be branded as a bad mom by whoever it is who judges moms as being lacking(motherbitches).
It’s the reason I share, too.
But sometimes, well… not all behavior deserves that social media pass.
You’ve probably seen some of those moments. Where others are liking or LOL’ing or giving support and you get this gut feeling of “you know, that’s not actually funny” or “yikes, that really was a screw up,” even if you can understand how the screw up happened and can empathize with the mom who did it. But you still inwardly cringe.
Now, before you think I’m about to link to someone’s facebook status or blog post to give you an example, I’m only pointing the finger at myself here today.
You see, last week, I had a really terrible moment.
Not with my boys or even Hubs, but with another mom.
A mom whom I could say was sticking her nose where it didn’t belong and who had no real clue what she was really seeing and maybe I could justify why I said the things to her that I did. Especially if I told you the story from my side and y’all handed me that social media pass.
In fact, once my anger died down and the embarrassment set in after the whole thing played out, I figured I’d probably end up writing a blog post about it.
And I guess, here it is. But it’s not the post I originally imagined.
Because I don’t want or deserve the social media pass this time around. I overreacted and I’m not proud of my behavior. I’m not being too hard on myself: I really was mean and nasty(I’m blushing just thinking about it and wishing I could snatch those words back out of the air or at least turn my rude tone down about eleventy billion notches).
In this case, I don’t want to hear that it’s not that bad or that you probably would have lost it, too. Because that makes it seem okay.
And if it’s okay, then why should I behave any differently next time?
And I want to do differently next time.
So no social media pass for me on this.
Now for deciding to pick up Chick-fil-a for the kids tonight because they have soccer practice and I won’t feel like cooking dinner at 8pm and for already being aware of that fact this early in the day, yup, I’m totally taking that pass.
Linking up with Honest Voices.