Jamie is a Minnesota Girl who has landed herself in the big city of LA. On her blog she often talks about photography, art, wine, and exploring around Los Angeles. These are her adventures through life.
There’s something I’ve always wanted to talk about on my blog, but never could. One of those things that I would think about, reflect on, then brush it under again, and move on to more happier topics.
But today, I’m finally saying it. Something I’ve held in for awhile. Perhaps I’ll feel better about it after.
I am one of those people that got married and divorced before the age of 30.
For so long because I was the one that asked for the divorce, there was a lot of guilt that was put on my shoulders (for myself only!) For so long, I was the one that often thought, “gosh, what is wrong with me for not staying to make it work more. Or what is wrong with me to be not even 30, and divorced already.
Marriage is one of those things in life that we go into never wanting it to end, but sometimes, things just don’t work out.
We prepare ourselves to be successful. To go to college, to graduate, to work our way up the corporate ladder, buy a house, get married, have children.
But what happens when the plan you had going just doesn’t work out? I’ve learned through this process that things don’t always work out. That the path you thought you were on wasn’t where you were suppose to be at all.
And sometimes, going through something hard in your life really does make you a better person even if the others around you may not agree with you.
And by going through those hard times you often learn who your true friends are, the ones that stick by your side even when they don’t necessarily agree with your decisions. The ones that stick around.
I don’t regret my first marriage. I never will. It was because of that first marriage, and that life path, that I truly learned what it was what I wanted out of life, and it’s also how I learned what I didn’t want out of life.
It also gave me the courage to finally begin embracing who I am, and who I am suppose to be.
For the longest time I was so embarrassed about being divorced before the age of 30. I was so worried about what others would think of me. What others were saying behind my back, but then one day, I realized it didn’t matter. We all have a story, this is just one part of mine.
I have been divorced for over 3 years now, and have completely embraced my new life in the city of LA, and couldn’t be happier. The true courage came when I admitted I was no longer happy.
Thanks Shell for letting me finally say what I couldn’t say for the longest of times.
Please leave Jamie some comment love here and then go visit Minnesota Girl in LA.
It sounds like you are much happier now.
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Thanks for stopping by to leave a comment. Much happier. Grew a lot through the process and learned so much about myself too
Jamie recently posted..Just a few Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas.
Yes. Sometimes we wander down the wrong path. It takes a strong person to back up and venture down a new route. Congrats for having the strength to do what YOU think is best for yourself.
Kerry Ann @Vinobaby’s Voice recently posted..Review: The Obvious Game by Rita Arens
I never knew how hard it would be until I started to go through it, but never looked back once I started down that path.
Thanks for stopping by to leave a comment =) appreciate it
Jamie recently posted..Just a few Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas.
I think recognizing when you are unhappy and when you KNOW it is not going to work is one of the hardest things. Most people just keep on doing what they are doing not because they are trying to make it work, but because they don’t realize how unhappy they are or because they are scared.
Good for you for making changes that needed to be made.
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Thank you so much for your comment. You definitely hit it right on the spot. So hard to admit what is wrong, and then even harder to face the facts, and EVEN harder to take action.
A long journey, but learned many lessons along the way
Jamie recently posted..Just a few Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas.
I can definitely understand why you would feel shame for being married and divorced before your 30th birthday, but what once brought you shame has actually made you a stronger woman, and I strongly believe in the long run, it can make you a better partner to the right significant other. My fiance was in the process of going through a divorce when we met (so I knew what I was getting myself into there from the get-go!) but in so many areas of our relationship, I believe that he is better equipped to be the best partner he can be to me because of what he went through in his marriage and divorce, and the what he learned about himself through that process. I’m so glad that you were finally able to write about something you felt you couldn’t before. I admire you so much for your courage and for being true to who you are as a human being and following the path to become who you know you could be.
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You know, like I said, I definitely didn’t regret what I went through because it truly made me the person I am today. It made me sit down and question myself, my wants out of life, and gave me the courage to do something about it.
And a huge part of how I ended up in LA =)
Jamie recently posted..Just a few Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas.
I turned 30 a couple of months after my now-ex-husband left me for a younger woman.
It was pretty brutal. I was divorced by 31.
But hey – on the bright side – I’m now on my 2nd divorce and will be getting married for a 3rd time soon! YAY me, always a silver lining. LOL
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Always a silver lining indeed =)
And that sounds pretty brutal
but you’re on to a happier journey. I feel it from here.
Jamie recently posted..Just a few Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas.
Awww, sweet Jamie! I am so glad you got it out and shared. There is nothing wrong with being divorced before 30. You got out of a situation that you knew was wrong and chose to move on with your life. That is brave. The way to look at it is that you fixed your life before 30.
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Thanks Bibi.
I think I just felt guilty because “my life plan” just didn’t work out. Turns out I was just completely on the wrong path
lol
Jamie recently posted..Just a few Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas.
Sometimes the hardest fall leads us to the highest mountain… and I am so glad you changed your course earlier in life rather than later! GOOD for you, for having to the courage to do that! It takes strength to honor yourself and make hard decisions to do just that. You have THE REST of your life now… to be YOU and follow your heart.
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I’m glad you were able to embrace the experience and learn from it, rather than see it as negative.
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Many of my friends were married and divorced before 30 – most with a small or child or two. It’s hard – but something which helps make you stronger (cliche but true!) and helps mold the woman you become. And just look at you now girl! Keep looking and moving ahead
Lisa D.B. Taylor recently posted..Monday Morning Gratitudes~February 11, 2013
I am sure this wasn’t a decision made lightly and that the process was painful…. now on the other side of it all you can do is look forward – and it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing!
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LOVE this. Just because a marriage doesn’t work, doesn’t mean this is any reflection on the two people involved. And isn’t getting out of an unhappy marriage better than staying with someone you no longer love?
Congrats to Minnesota Girl for taking back her life… She sounds like she’s in a much better place now
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