Ashley and Lisa feel that if it takes a village, shouldn’t that village be honest and hold each other up, rather than knock each other down by pretending we are perfect? At The Dose of Reality, you will get that kind of truth, because we believe strongly in telling it like it is, like it really is.
Things They Can’t Say: Sometimes People We Love Let Us Down
We always dreamed that our children would be fortunate enough to live near their grandparents. Neither of us had that situation growing up and always longed for the type of relationship that comes from being geographically close. There’s nothing better than knowing your grandparents, the people who love and cherish you in a way that no other grown-up can, are right there for you.
As adults we felt so strongly about this, we both even moved our families hundreds of miles in order to be in the same city as at least one set of grandparents. We felt great about this. We felt like we were giving our children a special gift.
In the beginning with our first children, it seemed like it was going to be exactly as we had imagined. The grandparents were interested, invested, and happily involved in their first born grandchild’s life. Sadly, this was not to last.
We both saw, as our children grew and our second children were born, the interest wane. Now instead of actively pursuing time with their grandkids, we had to call and request their presence. And not just for weekend activities, but even for events that should be foregone conclusions like birthday parties or recitals. It’s amazing to us how similar our situations are given that we are talking about two completely different sets of parents in different families.
They just didn’t seem to care about their grandchildren in the same way they once had.
It was upsetting—yes to us, but more importantly, to our children. They noticed. They asked questions. They wondered what they had done to fall out of their grandparents’ favor. They hurt.
How do you explain to your child that, even though their grandparents live ten minutes from their home, they are never around?
You may wonder if our parents are too feeble to spend time with young kids. You may wonder if we have even told them how our children feel.
Well…both sets of grandparents are perfectly physically capable. In fact, they literally travel around the world every year. Also, we do not shy away from talking about things that are important to our children. We have had many conversations with them pleading for things to change. But nothing does change.
The sad reality is that our children are not their priority.
This fact crushes us, not for ourselves, but for our children. We’d always assumed that grandparents living nearby would *want* to have a close relationship with their grandchildren.
Sometimes people we love let us down.
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