Things They Can’t Say: Batcrap Crazy

As a mom to a sassy 4 year old diva with a mega personality, our life is full of adventure, learning and accessories! The two of us have been blessed beyond measure to blend nearly seamlessly with Irishman and his two boys making us a family of five (with one dog, three cats, a fish and a tarantula). Ducky blogs at Batcrap Crazy.

If there are any reservations about combining households with Irishman, its that I need a new poop schedule…a new system. I am going to have to revamp what previously worked for me to accommodate there being more people in the house. True there is one more bathroom than where Lil Duck and I lived before but the ratio to people and bathrooms has dramatically changed. I’m pretty sure my colon is in a panic over this.

What if someone is right outside the door? And I actually have to share a bathroom with….a boy! I have never shared a bathroom with a boy. Terrifying I tell you! Is there therapy for this? A transition book? Oh God! Why didn’t my mother prepare me for this?

Do you suppose its possible to require everything with a penis to use an outhouse? I wonder if I can build an outhouse. I would pony up the moolah to heat it and provide AC in the summer. That’s reasonable, yes?

Sure I have used boy bathrooms but I’ve always had the safety and relaxation of coming home to MINE. I never have to wonder why the floor is sticky *ick*. There’s always toilet paper, it doesn’t stink, there’s no surprise failure to flush by previous occupants…speaking of occupants WHY do boys spend an hour taking one poop?! Seriously? Don’t they make special toilets for that? Like the ones at truck stops?

Since the renters of my old house are moving in this week there is no turning back. At least not for 12 months. I figure by then I will have a new system…or a maid….or a maid AND a new system. Suppose it would cause problems to designate one of the bathrooms for use by those who exclusively sit to pee?

Yeah… that’s kind of what I thought to. So ladies, what are your survival tips! HELP!

Be sure to leave Ducky some comment love here and then go visit her blog!


  1. says

    Oh I can so relate to this! Although we are not ready to do so yet, the discussion of combining households has been had and the thought of five kids, yes FIVE, plus a man with whom I have to share MY bathroom has me totally FREAKING!

    Ducky is one of my favorite pinners! :-) I’m constantly repinning her pins… we share a serious love of coffee!
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..Friday Fragments: TGIFMy Profile

  2. says

    I can totally relate! There are three boys and three girls in this household and I hate to bring this up but I have never had to plunge a toilet for me or the girls but I have had to several times for my sons (hubby is on his own with that one). And always when we are late to go somewhere and I am wearing something dressier than yoga pants. I vote for a system and a maid ( I got the maid because like you said, boys are icky).
    AnnMarie recently posted..Some Tidbits: Landscapers, Freedom and Cookies (and answers to the quiz)My Profile

    • says

      WHOOOT on the maid! And I said the exact same thing about plunging last night!!! I NEVER once used the plunger when it was me and Lil Duck. It gets used here at least once a week….I always wear my shoes unless I’m in bed. Just sayin.
      Ducky recently posted..A Peek At The Duck TwatMy Profile

  3. says

    I keep clorox wipes to swipe the seat before using the potty and, sadly, sometimes the floor as well.  I keep a basket of toilet paper next to the toilet and fill it whenever it’s down to 2 rolls.  I keep lovely smelling candles (unlit because my kids are also batshit crazy) that help with the smell and spray (and they make it look like maybe I decorate.)  Sadly, I have 0 hints about outside the door traffic.  I am trying to convince my husband to install a moat with sharks with lazerbeams and a drawbridge but he thinks this is “excessive”–F-er.  If you solve the hour pooping session mystery, you get the womanhood grand prize! Please let us all know.

  4. Addy Rae says

    We have a long standing rule that everyone puts down both toilet seat and lid. Everyone has to put it down. Everyone has to lift it up. No more segregating by gender and whining that you’re being singled out or that you’ve sat in the toilet because of the seat being up.

    Also, we enforced the rule where you wipe down the toilet seat after you get up. No more stray hairs, blood, or unidentifiable goop.

    Other than that, if you make a mess, you clean it up, but that’s a whole house rule.

    • says

      Hmmm….maybe I should leave a little blood one of these days. Might make them rethink using the master bathroom, not flushing and leaving unidentifiable spots on the seats in other bathrooms.
      Ducky recently posted..A Peek At The Duck TwatMy Profile

  5. says

    When I still had the boys at home, I often dreamed about building them a concrete bathroom with a giant floor drain in the middle. Concrete toilet, concrete shower, everything. Then I could just hose the whole place down and not fight with the bus-station-restroom aroma that always plagued their bathroom.

    Great idea, yes?
    Trish recently posted..Mom Years Are Like Dog YearsMy Profile

  6. says

    Oh, how I identify with your bathroom woes! I’m a girl who needs my “space” and does not enjoy finding *ick* spots on the floor!  Best of luck figuring this one out!  
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