Pour Your Heart Out: A Good Report

Though I’ve said before that it’s not all gloom and doom here, it does seem to be the hard times that inspire me to head to the computer and type away at a new post. Needing to vent or to know I’m not alone is more of a motivation than when something good happens.

But for this week, I’m pouring my heart out about a proud mama moment.

autism parenting Last week, we had a conference with Bear’s teacher.

Up until this point, we hadn’t really gotten much feedback from her, though I did keep telling her that if there were any issues to please let me know. His teacher last year used to give me a brief update every day at pick up: what she was trying to work on with him that day and any improvements or setbacks she noticed.

But with his new teacher, she’d occasionally tell me some piece of happy news, but mostly she just sent him out of the pick up line with a wave.

We hadn’t had any emails or notes or phone calls and the behavior chart in his folder showed only good marks.

But still. We’ve had a hard time with school for our Bear.

So heading into a parent-teacher conference had my stomach in knots.

His teacher had his PEP folder on the table.  For those of you who aren’t used to all the abc’s: he also has an IEP which states the modifications and services he receives from the school for special needs. But a PEP is created for any student who might not meet the end of grade requirements.  Areas of needed support are noted as well as what the teacher will do in the classroom to help as well as what the parents will do at home, and what means of evaluation will be used to judge progress.

Last year, we didn’t have the PEP meeting with his teacher because she ended up in the hospital at the end of the school year when our conference was scheduled.

His new teacher said that she didn’t quite know what to do with Bear’s. Which had my heart thumping a bit.

Until she continued by saying that she thought she could just use what had been started in last year’s, but that he was so far ahead of where he was then that it’s not relevant any more.

And that if she didn’t have to create some sort of PEP for him due to him technically being retained, she didn’t think she’d make one for him.  And while she came up with two goals for him for it, she wasn’t concerned that he wouldn’t meet them(and he’s already met one of the two in the week since our conference).  She also said that when we meet to discuss it next grading period, as long as he continues on the track he’s on, we can deactivate his PEP.

She went on to tell us about how he is doing with the K-2 assessments that they use here and how he’s either on track or ahead of where he needs to be for everything.  She told us that he’s sweet and tries hard and does a great job and has friends…

She didn’t have a single negative thing to say.

Not one.

We’ve never had a meeting like this for Bear.

While some previous teachers have tried to soften the blow by starting out with a positive thing or two, the majority of what we’ve heard has always been negative. And with one teacher in particular, it was almost all negative.

So this? This was amazing.

I want to share with you because I want to share the joy along with the negative… but also because at this time last year, school was a total disaster. Everything just seemed so freaking hard all the way around. And here we are, a year later- and things have improved so much. I hope that can be an encouragement for anyone who is going through a rough spot- to hang in there, it really can get better. And maybe I’m writing this a bit as a reminder to myself for later- for when we go through a rough patch again.

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  1. I am SO SO happy to hear this!  I hope the year just gets better and better.
    Cyndy recently posted..Right Where I Need to BeMy Profile

  2. Such amazing news! So happy for your family. And you are right, we need constant reminders that the bad things will change. Good things are often just around the corner. It just takes patience – which, unfortunately, I have in very short supply.
    Christie @randomreflectionz recently posted..The Trophy of SurvivalMy Profile

  3. So glad that he is doing well.  Hope the good work continues.

  4. That’s EXCELLENT! Great news!

    We have been having a tricky year. I was near a melt down about it just this morning, so thanks for sharing this. I know it will all work itself out over time. 
    Heather recently posted..What I Wish I’d Known: Angela’s PerspectiveMy Profile

  5. That is so great!! What exciting news for your sweet boy! :)

  6. This is so awesome to hear! 
    Alison recently posted..THE Big NewsMy Profile

  7. I always seem to be drawn to the computer or to write more when I am upset or going through something difficult too. It’s much easier to express my feelings by typing/writing it all out – and it does seem to help me to see the good in most situations too. So glad to hear that your guy is doing well!
    Shay recently posted..Top Ten Pregnancy Likes & DislikesMy Profile

    • Same here- but I’m trying to make an effort to write more about the good- since there’s definitely lots of it there!

  8. Yay!!  What fabulous news!!  So happy for you and your sweet boy!

  9. That is so awesome! Give Bear a hug for me. You must be so proud!
    momof12 recently posted..I got a Package!My Profile

  10. This post brings me such joy, I am so glad things are going so well for your lovely son. We both know there will be more bobble to come, but every bit of smooth sailing is so precious for kids like ours – so enjoy!
    Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..Running before the stormMy Profile

  11. Oh I am so glad for you and your family! Thank you for sharing your joy!
    colleen recently posted..EscapeMy Profile

  12. This made my heart sing! I know you were nervous and I’m so happy it’s going well. As a teacher, these are the kinds of conferences I love to have and wish I had more of!
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..It Wasn’t On My Bucket ListMy Profile

  13. Thanks for being a gracious hostess of the meme.  
    Wayne recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday – Wage EditionMy Profile

  14. Absolutely made my heart smile and I was tingly all over! I am SO HAPPY for you and Bear! What a wonderful report!!!
    Ducky recently posted..The Consequence of Beer #iPPPMy Profile

  15. Hooray for a teacher who is willing to focus on the positive! Some folks subscribe to the theory that if they don’t point out all the things that need work, then they are doing a disservice. While I appreciate feedback as an adult on where I could improve, if all I heard about was everything I was doing wrong, I would NOT feel any incentive to improve.

    Glad to hear things are going better for you and your son this year!
    Kim recently posted..12 secrets to deflecting life’s slings and arrowsMy Profile

    • And it’s necessary to hear some of the negative- but when it’s not balanced out by some positive, it starts to feel so hopeless.

  16. What great news! Her words must have been golden to your ears.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Halloween Craft- Milk Jug SkeletonMy Profile

  17. What a wonderful thing to hear!
    Blond Duck recently posted..Ladyfingers 3My Profile

  18. That’s wonderful! It’s such a good feeling when others see how great your children are. I hope he continues to have a great year!
    Patricia P recently posted..Glowing SmilesMy Profile

  19. How wonderful it is when something turns out better than expecte! School is such a big part of their lives, it is always great to hear positive news on that front.
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..The First Time…My Profile

  20. That is great news hun. Let’s hope this is the start of a permanent thing.
    Angel recently posted..17 years?! Who would have believed it?My Profile

  21. Such great news! The difference one year and, a teacher can make can be amazing. Glad you’re off to a good year. :)

  22. How wonderful! Do you think the medication has helped with this?

    • I really do feel like the meds are a big part of it. They help him with his focus- and that’s not just academic but for behaviors as well. 

  23. I never comment, but I’m going to on this one.  I have felt what you described-dreading conferences, having to watch your child endure a hard year at school (and you endure it with him/her), etc.  I have a son with special needs and it can be nervewracking, to say the least.  I love this post and am so happy for you and Bear.  His teacher sounds great too.  I love the teachers who can focus on the positive, especially when there is so much positive to be found.  Great job to all of you!  Hope the rest of his school year and the years to come are just as wonderful!

    • Thanks for taking the time to comment, Jessi! It really can be so nervewracking, can’t it? That’s why we need to celebrate the good.

  24. This is really, really fantastic news. I’m so thrilled for all of you.

  25. That’s so great!  We had a disaster year last year, too!  I started the school year feeling ill, but it’s so much better!  It’s such a relief when things go well!  Glad Bear is meeting all his milestones:)

  26. This post makes my heart happy! I’m so happy for your and so happy for Bear!!
    Barbara recently posted..Joyeuse HalloweenMy Profile

  27. I’m so happy for you! How awesome for you guys! Treasure this good report and remember its what you’re doing at home too that’s helping!
    Diana recently posted..PYHO – Stand by Me – Its about SupportMy Profile

  28. Aw, this is GREAT! :)  I’m so happy for him and for you!  You must have been so proud!  It’s the moments like this… :)
    Stephanie recently posted..Mini-MeMy Profile

  29. Maybe it’s just hormones, but I am totally in tears over this post.  Give that sweet kiddo a hug for me – isn’t it amazing to realize that something clicked?!?!  
    Tiffany recently posted..If You Put A Dog In A Yard…My Profile

  30. Hooray for a good report!
    brianna recently posted..currently: octoberMy Profile

  31. That is AWESOME! I love it when I have those types of conferences for Cam. It gives me something to hold onto when times get tough again :)
    Delilah recently posted..So What?My Profile

    • Exactly. I know that we’ll have rough times- but this is really the first time we’ve had that positive report. 

  32. I have tears in my eyes as I write this – I feel so happy for you. I relate to feeling terrified at what I’ll hear at parent-teacher conferences. I could feel your joy, excitement and love for your adorable little pumpkin throughout this post. And your relief. Thank you for sharing the happy news (I also completely relate to it being harder to write when things are going well!). Well done, mama. 
    Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..BacklashMy Profile

  33. That is wonderful news! I am so glad to hear that the conference was so positive! Maybe this year will be great after all!
    Jackie recently posted..Wordful Wednesday ~ Halloween!My Profile

  34. Oh do I remember those IEP meetings with my daughter and her teachers… The stress of it all! I am so HAPPY for you that your had such a positive and encouraging report. It gives us strength and hope. Thank you for sharing so much from your heart. Bear is such an inspiration for many parents. Have a blessed day :) 

  35. Oh Shell I am so so happy to read this!! So happy for you and yes you should share this and celebrate it as you have worked so hard to make sure he is getting the help he needs- and now look how awesome he is doing!!  So happy for you
    Emmy recently posted..Halloween: Pumpkin StyleMy Profile

  36. WOOOOOH!!! Fabulously exciting. Well done.

  37. Sometimes it just takes a year to turn things around. Sounds great.
    Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 recently posted..New Multiples Post!!!My Profile

  38. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Cannot tell you how happy I am for both you and Bear.  Yay for you both and for a terrific teacher:)
    Nicole DeZarn recently posted..Facilitated Communication: It Ain’t All It’s Typed Out to Be.My Profile

  39. Such great news!!! I’m so happy the teacher is working out and he is doing so well. Scream it, girl. No reason for you to explain why you have to say it. We get it, momma!!! Congrats!
    Tayarra recently posted..I’ve been away so here’s a little updateMy Profile

  40. Seriously, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I am so happy for you and for your little Bear. I know you have struggled and hoped for a good fit, and I am so happy things are going well for him. Yay!
    angela recently posted..One Foot InMy Profile

  41. How wonderful!! Truly Shell, I’ve teared up because I can only imagine how wonderful it was for you in that meeting. 
    Natalie recently posted..Are you a Good Witch or Bad Witch?My Profile

  42. Love good news! So happy that he is doing well – all your hard work is paying off!!!
    Making It Work Mom recently posted..Too Old for Trick or Treats?My Profile

  43. Hooray! That is fantastic Shell!!
    Angie recently posted..Child LaborMy Profile

  44. Shell, that’s fantastic news. So happy for you and Bear. Go him!!! Happy Halloween. :)
    Susi recently posted..Happy Halloween {Wordless Wednesday}My Profile

  45. That’s fantastic, Shell! So happy for you!
    just JENNIFER recently posted..Bloggy BusinessMy Profile

  46. Woo hoo! That is so awesome!
    Kate recently posted..Making Blogging Better: WordPress.orgMy Profile

  47. This made me teary eyed, I’m so happy for him and for all of you.  That’s amazing, awesome, outstanding…all of those fun words!!  Let’s blame hormones for the tears, I just feel like I’ve gotten such a feel for this through you and I know how much you have struggled with it!
    Stephanie @ Babe’s Rockin’ Mami recently posted..The Required Pumpkin Pictures!My Profile

  48. Hurray Bear and hurray Shell!  And hurray teacher!
    Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..Being Someone You’re NotMy Profile

  49. I LOVE this post! That feeling of relief is one of the most rewarding things a parent can experience, when we know we are doing a good job and our kids have a bright future. Way to go mom!
    Emily recently posted..My bucket is already fullMy Profile

  50. I hang on the appointments when all we hear are the positives so I totally get this. I am beyond happy for you! I’m so glad that so far what was a source of anxiety is turning into a source of happiness!
    AnnMarie recently posted..GuiltyMy Profile

  51. What great news Shell! I’m so happy to hear Bear is doing so well. My heart swells with happiness for all of you. 
    Jackie recently posted..The AfterMy Profile

  52. This makes me so happy!  I know you are feeling so proud.

  53. That is so awesome, Shell!  You must be super proud of him!!

    Congratulations on Bear doing such a great job…and congratulations to you too!

  54. Teresa Vanselow says:

    What awesome news! It sounds like he got the perfect teacher for him.

  55. Aw Shell, congratulations.
    And congrats to Bear.
    Carolyn recently posted..Raising Daughters With High Self-EsteemMy Profile

  56. Yay!! I’m so glad you got to hear all of those positive things. She sounds like a great teacher. You must be so proud!

  57. That is awesome! Go Bear!!!!
    Denise recently posted..PYHO: I Get NervousMy Profile

  58. I love so much that you made a point to share the good news this time. That is a great thing (I have to remind myself, because it is so easy to use a blog as a bit of free therapy when times are bad). 

    Congratulations on the good meeting. I’m happy to hear Bear is having such an amazing year. 
    Tracie recently posted..Book Lovers Secret Recognition ClubMy Profile

  59. It is good to know your Bear is doing great Shell . And thanks for sharing this inspiring post .

    Blessings !
    sarah recently posted..A Basketball Game Worth WaitingMy Profile

  60. This totally made me cry. For different reasons than yours, but reasons all the same, I experienced the same sort of conference for my older daughter this week. And I pretty much had to fight not to burst out into sobs in front of her teacher. 
    Congratulations on this pure joy moment…you and your sweet boy TOTALLY deserve it! :)
    thedoseofreality recently posted..Mommy, where did all my candy go?My Profile

    • So glad that you had that moment, too! Usually, I cry b/c of everything that seems like it’s such a challenge. This time for much happier reasons!

  61. Oh I just started tearing up reading this. I am SO SO SO happy for you. What an amazing achievement. I hope you have much more good news in your future!
    Marta recently posted..Untitled.My Profile

  62. So so so happy for you. Good news after so much bad is so much sweeter. Enjoy this moment!
    Tricia recently posted..Halloween and HurricaneMy Profile

  63. What wonderful news! So happy for you! :)

    This was a beautifully written, inspirational post that shows how strong you are! Being able to see the positive and have such a beautiful outlook on tough situations is a rare quality in a person! 

    Thank you for Sharing! 

  64. That’s really really wonderful and awesome news that things are going well. 

  65. HOORAy, you! Just HOORAY for you, your sweet boy, and his teacher who looked for, saw, and communicated the Good!
    Galit Breen recently posted..Let’s Talk About ChutzpahMy Profile

  66. That is wonderful news. It will make me sit back, appreciate, and be grateful for those positive times with my own children. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the negative world. Congrats to you and your Bear!


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