Being a Mom Stereotype

Who hasn’t heard the stereotype of the stay-at-home mom sitting at home, watching bad tv and eating bonbons?

Sounds outdated to me.

We’re all so much more than just housewives eating bonbons.

Sure, I fit some of today’s stereotypes.

I practically live in my yoga pants.

My hair is in a ponytail or messy bun more often than not.

I drive a minivan.

To soccer.

And to be totally honest here, I found these little goodies at the store last week:

what is a bon bon

That’s right, actual bonbons.

And I ate the hell out of those delicious yummies.

But even though I’m a yoga pants-wearing, pony tail-sporting, minivan-driving, cookie-baking, pinterest-loving, soccer mom who would eat bon-bons every day if I could, that’s not all I am.

I’m a mom who wants the best for her kids, who sometimes has to fight for that for them.

I’m a wife who tries her hardest to always be there for her husband.

I’m a loyal friend and sister.

I’m a writer and a social media marketer who works full-time from home, even if I do it while wearing yoga pants and occasionally snarfing down bon-bons.

How do you fit into the traditional mom stereotype? And what are ways you don’t fit the stereotype?

Comments

  1. says

    I think I fit a lot of the stereotype pretty well, I have a fierce love for my children, but am not afraid of saying that they totally suck in some moments, it isn’t always roses. I think that makes me a little outside of the stereotype. Oh, and I can’t do yoga pants. I feel like I’m in pajamas and I get nothing done. Ever. If the day is going to function I have to get actually dressed. It’s a curse. :)
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..Perhaps My Inadequacies Are Just Wonderful In DisguiseMy Profile

    • Shell says

      It’s definitely not always roses. No way.

      I need comfort or I get distracted by how uncomfortable I am.  Summer is better b/c I can wear sundresses- comfort and style. ;)

  2. says

    I fit the 1950s mom mode of cooking, cleaning, and being oblivious to budgets.  I don’t fit the mold because I love screamo metal, enjoy vacations without the kids, and I’m getting my Ph.D.–you know, in my spare time.
    Where is the ME in Mommy? recently posted..SeasonsMy Profile

  3. says

    I climb out of the shower, run a comb through my wet hair, and then I don’t touch it again for the rest of the day unless I’m heading to volleyball and then I pull it up in a ponytail. And I never look in the mirror…that’s too much work.
    Sandy
    momof12 recently posted..Fall Break at the Scarecrow FestivalMy Profile

  4. says

    The messy bun is coming back, I swear it is! I fit the stereotype by watching way too much tv during my day (usually crappy reality tv too) and I hardly ever do my hair and makeup unless I’m going out (or feeling like looking pretty).

    I don’t fit the stereotype because I don’t have children! LOL! I am however a housewife.
    Untypically Jia recently posted..Love, Yourself – OctoberMy Profile

  5. says

    Shell, I like this reminder that there is so much more to everyone than stereotypes suggest, even when we do fit a few of the prerequisites. :) I’m sure people could look at me and dismiss me as stereotypical but I know there is so much more to me too! I think that stereotypes are simply the quickest and easiest way to avoid really acknowledging a person!

    Well written!
    colleen recently posted..The Second Time (A Summary of The Present Adoption Thus Far)My Profile

    • Shell says

      I’ve yet to actually meet anyone who is nothing but a stereotype. We all go deeper than the surface. 

  6. says

    I’m not typical but I’m not untypical either :)

    I wear comfortable clothes, sometimes I put my not-short-not-long-hair up, but most times, I’m pretty decent looking. I cook, I clean, I play with my children and soon I will be driving my children around for activities. But I also take my down time, I blog, I write, I watch TV, and hell yes, I eat bonbons.
    Alison recently posted..The Comparison TrapMy Profile

  7. says

    I didn’t think I fit into most stereo types, but I do cook dinner every single night and bake. I love to bake. I also adore my children! I don’t really fit too many other stereotypes though – I wake up early so that I can put on make up and do my hair, since I have to work I am hardly ever in yoga pants (though I would love to wear them more often) and I am still not driving a mini-van, but not for lack of want just lack of choices.
    Barbara recently posted..Noah is 10 MonthsMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I used to put on make up when I worked outside the home. Now, I always think who is going to see me? The teachers at drop off/pick up? And I rarely bother.

  8. says

    I totally fit the sterotype of the crazed, stressed work outside the home mom of older children. I volunteer and take on too much becuase of my working mom guilt. My house is only clean one room at a time. I always feel like I am trying to look put together, but rarely succeed!

    Oh well I don’t think much about it, instead I do my own thing and if that is sterotypical so be it!!!

    • Shell says

      I think everyone has a little bit of a stereotype in them- after all, the stereotype came to be for a reason!

  9. says

    I wonder if I’m the only one who, upon reading the word ‘bonbon’, thought of that old Ricky Martin song.

    Im more the traditional single working mother who prays for baby bedtime but feels guilty when it happens because we barely spent any time together. The one who wishes her baby didn’t have to spend most of her waking hours with strangers, but knows this is what’s best for us and what works.
    Venassa recently posted..Time to enjoy the little thingsMy Profile

  10. says

    my hair is getting long enough for the messy bun, now that i’ve had to reschedule my hair appt 3 times – because of that mom/wife/friend job i’ve got going on.

    bon bons?? seriously?? i must get some! maybe for christmas :)
    MommaKiss recently posted..Life as a leftyMy Profile

  11. says

    Oh, god. Anytime my husband and I argue about what to watch on tv, he always says “…but you have ALL DAY to watch it when i’m at work!”. As if laying on the couch all day watching Real Housewives is an option. As if dinner will be cooked, houses will be cleaned, menus will be planned, shopping will get done, laundry will get washed, pets will get walked, kid will get shlepped around all by themselves? 

    I definitely have never had a bon bon either. Is it ice cream in the middle?
    Tracy recently posted..Let’s keep an eye on it.My Profile

  12. says

    I’m the stereo typical mom in the sense that I cook, I clean, I love to bake and wear yoga pants a lot (or jeans). I don’t drive a mini van and I am not a soccer mom… but I used to love eating bon bons!!! Haven’t had any in a long time. :)
    Susi recently posted..Go Vote!My Profile

  13. says

    Hee, hee. I love this. I pretty much fit into the yoga pant, pony tail, stereotype. But no minivan for us (yet) and we tried soccer this year and the daughter hated it. :) But I sure wouldn’t mind adding bon-bon-eating to my list.
    christine recently posted..I Wish For LoveMy Profile

  14. says

    Love this post! Especially love that you found and ate the hell out of bonbons – go you!

    I’m a SAHM, but I don’t sit at home all day with my two little ones. We are always on the go – we go to different public libraries throughout the week for interactive storytime or if I’m needing a mini break we head to our local YMCA that offers free childcare while I work out.
    Meg recently posted..The Great PumpkinMy Profile

    • Shell says

      That’s how I was when my boys were little, too! Constantly on the go. Except home for naptime! 

  15. says

    Sing it Sister Friend! And I don’t see anything wrong with eating those bonbons. Honestly, on the days when I’m not in school, I am that typical housewife: I do lounge on the couch watching bad tv and eating…well not bonbons, but anything chocolate coated or encrusted in sugar. And really Shell, you are a rockstar among mothers and women because you living your dream: staying home AND building a social marketing business. I truly admire you…any plans to come to a blogging conference near me? I would totally be gushing shyly upon meeting you!
    Sandra recently posted..Holy epiphany…My Profile

    • Shell says

      Would love to meet you! Still trying to figure out what conferences I’ll be heading to next year!

    • Shell says

      Thanks so much, Mary!

      I’m right there with you- my kids are a priority in my life, but they aren’t my entire life. Not healthy that way. 

  16. says

    I fit some of the mom stereotypes really well – weary, pony tail wearing, fashion immune – that kind of stuff. But I also realize that right now, this is where I am in my life. I do work, outside of the house, which I am happy about most of the time, and between work and home I am stretched thin. Which is why I struggle with who “I” am – independent of being a mother or an employee or a wife. At some point I hope to be ok with knowing who I, me, Kiran, is and screw whatever stereotype or lens anybody sees me through.

    Kiran
    Masala Chica recently posted..Ann Coulter – I’m Here for YouMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I think we all struggle with that- those labels of what we do end up getting put on all of us! 

  17. says

    Oh I have never had a bon-bon! Totally want one now! I am a mini-van driving, soccer mom too, who is into photography (though I have taken it to the pro level), blogs, takes her kids to story time– so yea I fit all sorts of stereotypes but am totally okay with that as that is what I wanted to do
    Emmy recently posted..When a Toddler Resists a NapMy Profile

  18. says

    Real bon bons? I resriously don’t think I’ve ever seen one…
    the sterotype is outdated for sure, but unfortunately I think it’s only outdated for those of us who are actually living the REAL SAHM/WAHM life. I’m just beginning to consider myself a blogger/writer/WAHM, and it’s a balancing act for even little ‘ole me. however, most people still don’t get it! 

    I don’t even feel like I fit the Homeschool mom mold. I’m a misfit!
    adrienne recently posted..When You Have PMS…My Profile

    • Shell says

      I try to remember that stereotypes rarely are the total truth. Especially when I get intimidated by some of the homeschool moms. Not you, but some of the ones who are more stereotypical. But that’s not really fair of me, is it? 

  19. says

    I fit the old stereotype of cooking, doing laundry and no idea about finances (dumb, I know) but I hate cleaning. I live in my yoga pants and drive my mini-van to football and cheerleading. I love watching TV and always have it on in the background while eating Jordan Almonds, does that count? :)
    AnnMarie recently posted..10 Things to be Grateful ForMy Profile

    • Shell says

      Oh, I HATE cleaning. So very much. 

      I don’t know much about finances, either. I’m getting better at being more aware, but that is all mostly up to Hubs.

    • Shell says

      I think I would be if I hadn’t had to do school drop off and pick up. Instead, I’m in yoga pants, of course.

  20. says

    My hair is definitely in a messy bun and Im in my yoga pants too but Im also a full time college student and I am trying to work from home so we will see.. but i dont even know what a bon bon is
    brittney recently posted..I wanna go home!My Profile

  21. says

    the problem is that many ppl who create such stereotypes do it as they never worked from home and for them just the fact that it has the word “home” in the name of it it means less than a normal job. And let’s face it, being a mum and additionally work from home is 24/7 job….