Being a Mom Stereotype

Who hasn’t heard the stereotype of the stay-at-home mom sitting at home, watching bad tv and eating bonbons?

Sounds outdated to me.

We’re all so much more than just housewives eating bonbons.

Sure, I fit some of today’s stereotypes.

I practically live in my yoga pants.

My hair is in a ponytail or messy bun more often than not.

I drive a minivan.

To soccer.

And to be totally honest here, I found these little goodies at the store last week:

what is a bon bon

That’s right, actual bonbons.

And I ate the hell out of those delicious yummies.

But even though I’m a yoga pants-wearing, pony tail-sporting, minivan-driving, cookie-baking, pinterest-loving, soccer mom who would eat bon-bons every day if I could, that’s not all I am.

I’m a mom who wants the best for her kids, who sometimes has to fight for that for them.

I’m a wife who tries her hardest to always be there for her husband.

I’m a loyal friend and sister.

I’m a writer and a social media marketer who works full-time from home, even if I do it while wearing yoga pants and occasionally snarfing down bon-bons.

How do you fit into the traditional mom stereotype? And what are ways you don’t fit the stereotype?

Comments

  1. Sigh. The pony/bun hybrid of wet hair … I’m just happy to squeeze in the shower. I try to pretend it looks neater than leaving my wet hair around my face.
    angela recently posted..Tender is the Night – A Book ReviewMy Profile

  2. I think I fit a lot of the stereotype pretty well, I have a fierce love for my children, but am not afraid of saying that they totally suck in some moments, it isn’t always roses. I think that makes me a little outside of the stereotype. Oh, and I can’t do yoga pants. I feel like I’m in pajamas and I get nothing done. Ever. If the day is going to function I have to get actually dressed. It’s a curse. :)
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..Perhaps My Inadequacies Are Just Wonderful In DisguiseMy Profile

    • It’s definitely not always roses. No way.

      I need comfort or I get distracted by how uncomfortable I am.  Summer is better b/c I can wear sundresses- comfort and style. ;)

  3. I fit the 1950s mom mode of cooking, cleaning, and being oblivious to budgets.  I don’t fit the mold because I love screamo metal, enjoy vacations without the kids, and I’m getting my Ph.D.–you know, in my spare time.
    Where is the ME in Mommy? recently posted..SeasonsMy Profile

  4. I climb out of the shower, run a comb through my wet hair, and then I don’t touch it again for the rest of the day unless I’m heading to volleyball and then I pull it up in a ponytail. And I never look in the mirror…that’s too much work.
    Sandy
    momof12 recently posted..Fall Break at the Scarecrow FestivalMy Profile

  5. The messy bun is coming back, I swear it is! I fit the stereotype by watching way too much tv during my day (usually crappy reality tv too) and I hardly ever do my hair and makeup unless I’m going out (or feeling like looking pretty).

    I don’t fit the stereotype because I don’t have children! LOL! I am however a housewife.
    Untypically Jia recently posted..Love, Yourself – OctoberMy Profile

  6. Shell, I like this reminder that there is so much more to everyone than stereotypes suggest, even when we do fit a few of the prerequisites. :) I’m sure people could look at me and dismiss me as stereotypical but I know there is so much more to me too! I think that stereotypes are simply the quickest and easiest way to avoid really acknowledging a person!

    Well written!
    colleen recently posted..The Second Time (A Summary of The Present Adoption Thus Far)My Profile

  7. I’m not typical but I’m not untypical either :)

    I wear comfortable clothes, sometimes I put my not-short-not-long-hair up, but most times, I’m pretty decent looking. I cook, I clean, I play with my children and soon I will be driving my children around for activities. But I also take my down time, I blog, I write, I watch TV, and hell yes, I eat bonbons.
    Alison recently posted..The Comparison TrapMy Profile

  8. I didn’t think I fit into most stereo types, but I do cook dinner every single night and bake. I love to bake. I also adore my children! I don’t really fit too many other stereotypes though – I wake up early so that I can put on make up and do my hair, since I have to work I am hardly ever in yoga pants (though I would love to wear them more often) and I am still not driving a mini-van, but not for lack of want just lack of choices.
    Barbara recently posted..Noah is 10 MonthsMy Profile

    • I used to put on make up when I worked outside the home. Now, I always think who is going to see me? The teachers at drop off/pick up? And I rarely bother.

  9. I totally fit the sterotype of the crazed, stressed work outside the home mom of older children. I volunteer and take on too much becuase of my working mom guilt. My house is only clean one room at a time. I always feel like I am trying to look put together, but rarely succeed!

    Oh well I don’t think much about it, instead I do my own thing and if that is sterotypical so be it!!!

  10. I am a soccer mom who is trying hard to get back into teaching. I work part time teaching gymnastics right now.
    secret mom thoughts recently posted..Fall BikingMy Profile

  11. I do a lot of the traditional mom things. I cook, clean, play, and learn beside my son.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Taking Time to Play: Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dog TailsMy Profile

  12. I wonder if I’m the only one who, upon reading the word ‘bonbon’, thought of that old Ricky Martin song.

    Im more the traditional single working mother who prays for baby bedtime but feels guilty when it happens because we barely spent any time together. The one who wishes her baby didn’t have to spend most of her waking hours with strangers, but knows this is what’s best for us and what works.
    Venassa recently posted..Time to enjoy the little thingsMy Profile

  13. I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a bon bon. 

    That seems like a stay-at-home mom fail moment to me. 

    Clearly I should get two bags to catch up. 

    You are an incredible woman…and so much more than any stereotype. 
    Tracie recently posted..The Turtle and The Green CollectionMy Profile

  14. Another thought.. do sterotypical moms still sit around watching soaps? When I hear sterotypical mom, soap operas just jump out at me.
    Venassa recently posted..Time to enjoy the little thingsMy Profile

  15. I don’t think I’ve ever seen bonbons before – I’m quite intrigued! What do they taste like? What’s in the middle? I must know!
    Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..How to Be The Worst Ever At Fantasy FootballMy Profile

  16. I’m pretty much a stereotypical mom-type too, except my kids are too little for soccer yet. :) I like to think I’m a blend of Carol Brady, Morticia Addams and Roseanne (before she went all crazy). 
    Rita/Fighting off Frumpy recently posted..Gla(mom)orousMy Profile

  17. my hair is getting long enough for the messy bun, now that i’ve had to reschedule my hair appt 3 times – because of that mom/wife/friend job i’ve got going on.

    bon bons?? seriously?? i must get some! maybe for christmas :)
    MommaKiss recently posted..Life as a leftyMy Profile

  18. Oh, god. Anytime my husband and I argue about what to watch on tv, he always says “…but you have ALL DAY to watch it when i’m at work!”. As if laying on the couch all day watching Real Housewives is an option. As if dinner will be cooked, houses will be cleaned, menus will be planned, shopping will get done, laundry will get washed, pets will get walked, kid will get shlepped around all by themselves? 

    I definitely have never had a bon bon either. Is it ice cream in the middle?
    Tracy recently posted..Let’s keep an eye on it.My Profile

  19. I’m the stereo typical mom in the sense that I cook, I clean, I love to bake and wear yoga pants a lot (or jeans). I don’t drive a mini van and I am not a soccer mom… but I used to love eating bon bons!!! Haven’t had any in a long time. :)
    Susi recently posted..Go Vote!My Profile

  20. Hee, hee. I love this. I pretty much fit into the yoga pant, pony tail, stereotype. But no minivan for us (yet) and we tried soccer this year and the daughter hated it. :) But I sure wouldn’t mind adding bon-bon-eating to my list.
    christine recently posted..I Wish For LoveMy Profile

  21. Love this post! Especially love that you found and ate the hell out of bonbons – go you!

    I’m a SAHM, but I don’t sit at home all day with my two little ones. We are always on the go – we go to different public libraries throughout the week for interactive storytime or if I’m needing a mini break we head to our local YMCA that offers free childcare while I work out.
    Meg recently posted..The Great PumpkinMy Profile

  22. Sing it Sister Friend! And I don’t see anything wrong with eating those bonbons. Honestly, on the days when I’m not in school, I am that typical housewife: I do lounge on the couch watching bad tv and eating…well not bonbons, but anything chocolate coated or encrusted in sugar. And really Shell, you are a rockstar among mothers and women because you living your dream: staying home AND building a social marketing business. I truly admire you…any plans to come to a blogging conference near me? I would totally be gushing shyly upon meeting you!
    Sandra recently posted..Holy epiphany…My Profile

  23. Like you I fit much of the outward mom stereotype – ponytails and yoga pants – and I’m so much more. While I would do anything for my kids, my kids are not my entire life. And we’re all better off that way! I always enjoy the topics you write about and the thoughtful comments your posts inspire! Well done!
    Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..You’re Only Hugging Me So You Can Wipe Your Nose On My ShirtMy Profile

    • Thanks so much, Mary!

      I’m right there with you- my kids are a priority in my life, but they aren’t my entire life. Not healthy that way. 

  24. I fit some of the mom stereotypes really well – weary, pony tail wearing, fashion immune – that kind of stuff. But I also realize that right now, this is where I am in my life. I do work, outside of the house, which I am happy about most of the time, and between work and home I am stretched thin. Which is why I struggle with who “I” am – independent of being a mother or an employee or a wife. At some point I hope to be ok with knowing who I, me, Kiran, is and screw whatever stereotype or lens anybody sees me through.

    Kiran
    Masala Chica recently posted..Ann Coulter – I’m Here for YouMy Profile

  25. Oh I have never had a bon-bon! Totally want one now! I am a mini-van driving, soccer mom too, who is into photography (though I have taken it to the pro level), blogs, takes her kids to story time– so yea I fit all sorts of stereotypes but am totally okay with that as that is what I wanted to do
    Emmy recently posted..When a Toddler Resists a NapMy Profile

  26. Real bon bons? I resriously don’t think I’ve ever seen one…
    the sterotype is outdated for sure, but unfortunately I think it’s only outdated for those of us who are actually living the REAL SAHM/WAHM life. I’m just beginning to consider myself a blogger/writer/WAHM, and it’s a balancing act for even little ‘ole me. however, most people still don’t get it! 

    I don’t even feel like I fit the Homeschool mom mold. I’m a misfit!
    adrienne recently posted..When You Have PMS…My Profile

    • I try to remember that stereotypes rarely are the total truth. Especially when I get intimidated by some of the homeschool moms. Not you, but some of the ones who are more stereotypical. But that’s not really fair of me, is it? 

  27. I fit the old stereotype of cooking, doing laundry and no idea about finances (dumb, I know) but I hate cleaning. I live in my yoga pants and drive my mini-van to football and cheerleading. I love watching TV and always have it on in the background while eating Jordan Almonds, does that count? :)
    AnnMarie recently posted..10 Things to be Grateful ForMy Profile

    • Oh, I HATE cleaning. So very much. 

      I don’t know much about finances, either. I’m getting better at being more aware, but that is all mostly up to Hubs.

  28. Every mom is a “working mom.”  Period. 
    ilene recently posted..Get it Done, Diva!My Profile

  29. Love this!! So funny about the Bon bons!!!!

  30. Oh thank you for the laugh! I love yoga pants there’s nothing wrong with them :) When I’m home on the weekends I guess I fit the stereo-type with wearing the yoga pants and a pony tail.
    Erin recently posted..7 Year Old Phineas and Ferb BirthdayMy Profile

  31. I don’t really know the stereotypes.  I see a lot of stay-at-home moms dressing to the nines, and shopping.  I wish I had the money to shop. 
    Leigh Powell Hines @Hinessightblog recently posted..Pack Your Bags! Win a Two-Night Luxury Hotel Stay at the Ballantyne Hotel and Lodge in Charlotte, N.C. {Giveaway}My Profile

  32. When I picture SAHMs in my head I never, ever picture them sitting down and watching TV. I may not be a SAHM, but I know enough about momming to know that is just ridiculous.
    Jennifer recently posted..How to Make Smarties PeopleMy Profile

  33. Let’s just say it’s almost 4pm and I’m still in my pajamas….
    Jessica recently posted..Because Sunglasses Aren’t Just For Summer {Giveaway}My Profile

    • I think I would be if I hadn’t had to do school drop off and pick up. Instead, I’m in yoga pants, of course.

  34. It’s so true!  I have never had a bonbon, they look tasty!  I too rock yoga pants with a pony tail/messy bun most days.  I don’t think I’m a typical mom but of course I can’t think of a real concrete example right now haha
    Stephanie @ Babe’s Rockin’ Mami recently posted..24 Weeks aka Viability!My Profile

  35. My hair is definitely in a messy bun and Im in my yoga pants too but Im also a full time college student and I am trying to work from home so we will see.. but i dont even know what a bon bon is
    brittney recently posted..I wanna go home!My Profile

  36. the problem is that many ppl who create such stereotypes do it as they never worked from home and for them just the fact that it has the word “home” in the name of it it means less than a normal job. And let’s face it, being a mum and additionally work from home is 24/7 job….

  37. Love this post! SAHM may be what many of us “do,” but yes we are each so much more than that! 
    Kimberly recently posted..Photos of StuffMy Profile

  38. I started watching tv online while I stand in the kitchen cooking. And I rarely fix my fair. Oh and last weekend I found some mom jeans in my closet. Not sure how those got in there…
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Trick or TantrumMy Profile

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