Pour Your Heart Out: Seeing a Difference

When we decided to  try medication for our kindergartener’s ADHD, we decided that we’d only keep him on it if there was a difference and he wasn’t experiencing any bad side effects.

If our child was going to take something, then it needs to do its job, otherwise, why have him take something unnecessarily?

The first week he was on it, we really didn’t notice a change, nor did his teachers.

So for week two, he was given an increased dosage. And it seemed to help… though I was waiting to hear reports from his teachers, as there’s a big difference between what he needs to do at school and what he needs to do at home. Plus, I was seeing him at the end of the day, as it was wearing off.

But then, at soccer practice last week, I saw it.

I could see a difference.

Bear loves to play soccer and when he is participating, he actually is a good little soccer player. But it’s getting him to join in full time that was an issue.

But that practice… he was joining in and doing such a great job.

Though I started to doubt myself a little: was I just looking for a difference and so I saw it?

And then I got my confirmation.

Bear was playing offense and really going after the ball: all the kids were down at the other side of the field except for two who were standing near the goal near where I was sitting and they were talking to each other- but loud enough that I could hear them.

The boy said, “Bear isn’t being all crazy today.”

The girl turned and watched him for a minute and said, “I know, he’s not. He’s doing really good!”

And my heart simultaneously swelled with joy and broke in mama pain.

For two six year-olds to notice the difference… well, the meds must really be helping, right?

But at the same time… they think he’s usually “all crazy?”

SIGH.

His teachers reported back the next day that they’ve noticed a difference. And at the game last weekend, almost all of the parents made a comment to me about how much he had improved(without knowing that he is now on medication).

So, he’ll continue taking the meds and we’ll continue to monitor his progress. For now, we stay hopeful because we can see that difference.

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Comments

  1. I can only imagine what a tough decision it was in the first place to try the meds. How great to hear you’re seeing some affirmation. My heart goes out to you and your little guy. This mom gig is hard stuff.
    Becky K recently posted..Moms Grow Up, Too: A Story About Hunting, Kindergarten, and PopcornMy Profile

  2. Oh, Shell.  This makes my heart happy.  I’ve been there with my (former) stepson.  I get it.  So happy….hope the improvement continues!  Dont let ANYONE tell you that you’re not doing the right thing.
    Cyndy recently posted..Fall Good TimesMy Profile

  3. Shell, I’m so happy that you see a difference. I’m sending prayers for continued improvements and guidance. 
    adrienne recently posted..I remember.My Profile

  4. My heart just swelled with joy and broke in pain for you!  Improvements – great! But the opinions of Bear..I totally feel that pain. I get it with my oldest daughter.  

    But I am glad he has shown improvements with the meds – the most important thing.  
    ilene recently posted..HookyMy Profile

  5. I’m so glad to hear that! But I can just imagine how hard it must be to know that others (especially kids) have noticed when he’s not doing so well. But yay for progress! That must make you so happy. 
    Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Time Will TellMy Profile

  6. I’m so glad that you are seeing a positive difference. Even though I wish you didn’t have to see a difference to begin with.
    Jennifer recently posted..The WeddingMy Profile

  7. Shell, that is awesome! There is nothing like getting the confirmation you need to know you made the right choice on a tough call. So happy you found something that can help him.
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..The Bad News Is I’m Unlikable, The Good News Is There Are Side Notes – PYHOMy Profile

  8. Woo Hoo! So happy for Bear and for your family. And I wouldn’t worry too much about the other 6 year olds, to most 6 year olds different doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Different just means different. And at 6 they are usually pretty accepting of all children however they look or act.
    Making It Work Mom recently posted..Hanging OutMy Profile

  9. Oh Im so happy to hear he is doing better with the medicine! WOOHOO Mama!
    Jessica recently posted..Tug Of WarMy Profile

  10. Oh I remember that moment when Doug got mad but didn’t blow up like a rabid animal. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it didn’t. That was the moment for me, the hope that he could get it under control with some real help. I am so glad for ya’ll hun. Here is to bigger and brighter things in his future..
    Angel recently posted..Bye Bye smelly Muscle Rubs. Hello NoxicareMy Profile

  11. Don’t fret, Mama. The positive difference IS positive. My husband coaches a boy who really needs his meds to perform to his capacity and although the kids don’t know the difference his parents are very honest with Coach about their son’s needs and are so happy to see him happy when he’s performing well. As long as the good outweighs any bad there is something to be said about the positive effects of monitored prescriptions. Many blessings to your family as you continue to figure out what works best for you.
    Mrs Montoya recently posted..Friendly ReminderMy Profile

  12. I can’t imagine what a tearing feeling that must have been. To be proud and sad at the same time. I’m happy that the medicine is working for him! Here’s hoping that it kicks in and that things settle down. :)
    Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Which Plate Will Drop?My Profile

  13. So glad to hear he’s doing better, and that the meds are working. 

    I know it must be so hard to know what his peers thought before. We can only shield our children so much, yes? 
    Alison recently posted..It’s Not You, It’s MeMy Profile

  14. It sounds like things are looking up! I hope it continues to go that way for you.
    Sandy
    momof12 recently posted..A Night at the TheaterMy Profile

  15. It has to feel so good to have found something that is helping him. I feel for you when you talk about the confused feelings of being happy and pained at the same time. Thank you for sharing your story and experiences for us to learn from.
    Jen@Living a Listful{l} Life recently posted..The process.My Profile

  16. I’m so happy to hear that you are seeing a difference!
    Barbara recently posted..Fall is in the AirMy Profile

  17. That must have been tough to decide on the meds, but I am so, so glad you’re noticing a difference. Also? Overhearing the conversation between the kids would have been a little difficult for me, but it also reaffirms that it is, in fact, making a difference, even to people who have no concept of medication/attention disorders/etc. Hugs to you. xo
    angela recently posted..Energy, Enthusiasm, and ExhaustionMy Profile

  18. Shell- I am so glad it is working. I bet he feels a difference too.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Spending Time at the BeachMy Profile

  19. I’m glad you found something that is helping! I pray you continue to find ways to help him reach his potential. In the meantime, Go Bear!!!!
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..My Superhero’s Had a Snag in His Cape!My Profile

  20. This makes mu heart just burst for you! I am so glad that the meds are helping him. I wouldn’t be too upset about the kids saying he was “crazy”. Sometimes kids just don’t know how to use words properly (just wait until they are older and start using big words that they have NO CLUE what they mean). They probably just noticed that he was distracted but didn’t understand. =)
    Jayme @Random Blogette recently posted..Practice Makes PERMANENTMy Profile

  21. I am so happy to hear this! I’m glad that the meds are doing their job and everyone is seeing the difference!

    Don’t worry about those kids… they’re just kids and using the best words they know to explain the situation. 
    Jackie recently posted..To Young….My Profile

  22. Yay for Bear! I know what a hard decision it is to allow your child to be medicated. We struggled through the same decision with Cam for different reasons. In the end we made the same decision as you and we were relieved to see what a difference it made in his life. But man is it hard to give your kid medication. I’m so happy for you guys that it’s helping him so far!
    Delilah recently posted..5 Ways to Make Your Morning EasierMy Profile

  23. I’m glad that you’ve been able to see a difference.  I’m sure that’s a relief.

    And I agree with Jackie about those other kids.  (HUGS)
    Kmama recently posted..Dog DaysMy Profile

  24. Parenting is so hard! And just when you think you have one kid figured out, your other one throws you for a different loop. I can not parent my girls exactly the same way – their personalities are so different. Meds can be a scary thing, we certainly had that talk with our doctor for The Tortoise. It wasn’t as successful for us, but I am so glad it is working out for you. For us – she just needed time to mature, and now as a Freshman in high school, she is doing amazingly well. Great post!
    Emily recently posted..Be Enough Me: Now What?My Profile

  25. Great news! So happy to hear things are moving in the right direction. :)
    Mary recently posted..10 Reasons Turning 35 Can Kiss My AssMy Profile

  26. This is fabulous news.  I’m so glad. 
    Leigh Powell Hines @Hinessightblog recently posted..The Not So Perfect Ending: Outings with KidsMy Profile

  27. Oh, Shell…this motherhood thing…just full of moments that we don’t know whether to be happy or sad so we end up being both. Moments that should be celebrated are often clouded with why they are celebrated to begin with. Moments that are sad are filled with trying to see the silver lining. It’s so hard. I am glad that the meds are working for Bear. What a relief that must be to know that the path you picked is turning out to be the right one. I’ll be thinking of you guys and praying that he continues to thrive.
    AnnMarie recently posted..An Open Letter to ExplainMy Profile

  28. What a relief to have the meds work! My daughter wasn’t diagnosed until college, and the medicine changed her life. She recognizes the minor side affects and accepts them because the positive effects are so worth it: concentration and focus. She recently was promoted at work, has no doubt it was partly because of the talents she was able to share because she was focused. 

    I hope things continue to improve for your son!
    Kim recently posted..You are a WriterMy Profile

  29. I’m so glad the medication is working! I know the heartbreak, though, to hear what other kids think. But, yay for seeing positive results!!
    Teresa recently posted..Couldn’t Be ProuderMy Profile

  30. So glad it is helping him. We have my son on medication as well and it definitely helps but it is hard to feel good about giving medication.
    Denise recently posted..PYHO: DisconnectedMy Profile

  31. My Daughter is on medication for ADHD and I am so glad we decided to do it…although we agonized over it. I am a pharmacist by trade so I kow EVERY SINGLE side effect imaginable. However, she is so better focused and less annoying when she is taking her medication. My mama heart breaks too to acknowledge that my baby can be annoying to others but I feel better knowing that I am addressing the issue instead of turning a blind eye. I will be praying for your family, these kinds of things are NEVER easy, just like life!
    KATINA recently posted..31 Days to Clean-Day 2My Profile

  32. I think it’s great that you have evidence that the medication is working but I understand how your heart hurt from the comments you’ve received, even though they are positive. My 3-year-old is 3 weeks in to his first soccer experience, and he’s not listening well and often does his own thing. Yesterday was picture day and as the photographer lined everyone up, my son kept bobbing up and down, not looking at the camera, etc. The photographer announced loudly, “If I had my Ritalin with me, I’d give some to you.” I was mortified and angry.
    KeAnne recently posted..An Open Letter to GoogleMy Profile

  33. Yay for Bear and you! It has to be frustrating for him, so this is good. Especially if it effects the way ithers interact with him. I am so happy for your family!
    Kim Young recently posted..SHUTTER|bag Giveaway over at Clickin MomsMy Profile

  34. I’m sorry but also happy for you. I imagine it’s nice having your son be more “manageable” and focused but at the same time, you wish your son didn’t need medication. And to normally be “crazy” doesn’t help either.

    To be honest though, my son is VERY energetic and can be intense. His friends and even adults often comment that he is ‘wild’ and ‘crazy’. It’s just Hayden. I think he has mild ADHD. At this point, he doesn’t need medication – although that may be something we look into in the future if necessary.
    Melissa recently posted..swinging harper.My Profile

  35. I am RIGHT THERE with you (tweeted to me by KeAnne). We made the decision to medicate one of our sons Alex for ADHD and the difference is remarkable. It started as small things – he sat on a blanket and talked to us for 10 minutes. It seemed so small to everyone else but HUGE to us.

    I wrote about our experience here:

    http://jonandlaura.blogspot.com/2012/08/much-much-more-about-our-adhd-journey.html
    Laura Case recently posted..Walk to School dayMy Profile

  36. Amazing. I know it was a hard decision, but sounds like it was totally worth it. So glad to hear a good result!

  37. Oh Shell! My heart swells with happiness for you. I am glad that the medication is working but I also understand that this is bitter sweet. 

    Here’s hoping it only gets better. 
    Jen recently posted..BulliedMy Profile

  38. I am so glad you found something that works for Bear.
    Annemarie Vinci Chagnon recently posted..It’s all PossibleMy Profile

  39. I know this can’t be easy…I’m glad it is helping…but I know making the decision to use medication is a difficult one. I hope it continues to work for your little boy!
    Natalie recently posted..Beautiful Baby BoyMy Profile

  40. It’s been such a rough road. I’m so so glad this is helping xo

  41. So, so glad there is an improvement Shell. I will be praying for you and your beautiful family! :)
    Paula @ Simply Sandwich recently posted..I Am Sharing a Huge Blogging Secret!My Profile

  42. This is my first link up with you!  Thanks for hosting!  I look forward to browsing through your blog!
    Sylvia Phillips recently posted..Special Needs and MedicationsMy Profile

  43. That would be a total roller coaster emotions moment.  Glad it does seem to be helping though- and yes I hope it continues to do so.  
    Emmy recently posted..Give Without JudgingMy Profile

  44. You’re right. Proud and heartbreaking at the same time. Being a Momma is tough. You’re doing great.
    Molly Jo recently posted..Dear Amy, I’m Just So Sorry For Your Loss.My Profile

  45. How wonderful that he was able to enjoy the game so much and play more effectively!
    Lisa @ Two Bears Farm recently posted..The Case of the Missing HermitMy Profile

  46. I’m sure it hurts to know what his peers thought, but I am so glad it’s helping!
    Kimberly recently posted..The Monster WithinMy Profile

  47. Oh, how that grabbed at my mama heart too! So happy that you are all seeing some positive changes with the medication. I hope it continues and the struggles become less and less. xo
    Kristen recently posted..Great Expectations with G*funk*ifiedMy Profile

  48. I am so happy that the medication is working out for Bear.
    Julia recently posted..Minding My ManorsMy Profile

  49. That is a hard place–knowing he’s doing so well, but that the other kids have noticed too. I can imagine how hard this decision was for you, but I see how hard you’re working for Bear and I’m so glad that he’s had a better time this week. One day at a time.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Autumn HopesMy Profile

  50. That is wonderful, or should I say helpful, how the other children noticed the difference! And that it was positive. As moms we often second guess ourselves! And what works for some children may not work for others. All we can do is try! (My son has Down syndrome, so I’m in that camp of second guessing!)
    Lisa Nolan recently posted..We All Need Some Slow Time {PYHO & Real Life Wednesday}My Profile

  51. You must feel such relief too see the meds working! So happy for you that he is doing better.
    Charity Deleon recently posted..Appointment proceduresMy Profile

  52. As much as we hate having to medicate our children I am glad it is working for your little man. I am praying that you continue to see improvement and one day it won’t be necessary anymore.

  53. Meds really can make such a difference. I am so happy for your family that you’re seeing results already! I know my godson has greatly benefited from medication – hopefully I would be able to make a similar, well-researched and heartfelt decision for my kids.
    Caitlin MidAtlantic recently posted..UsefulMy Profile

  54. I know my mom did everything she could before she allowed them to put my younger step brother on medication for his ADD. And despite her very vocal and harsh critics prior to taking it, no one could deny the obvious difference it made in his life. To this day, in his 30′s — i can still tell when he is not taking his medication. We all wish there was a better alternative, but for now, he functions better with it ……it’s as simple as that.
    I know it had to been a tough decision — so glad that it is working well for Bear so far.
    Rorybore recently posted..Devotional Giveaway Winner!My Profile

  55. I can’t even pretend to know how difficult a decision it was for you to go the medication route… so glad it’s working out for you and Bear. After all, it is about his well-being and it sounds like he’s doing more than well! Parenting and the decisions we make is more than tough; always second-guessing. But it’s the affirmations that get us through. 
    The Anecdotal Baby recently posted..MONSTERS?My Profile

  56. Awww, I am so happy to hear this!!  It makes MY momma heart happy!
    stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..You Can Lose Weight While PregnantMy Profile

  57. This brought tears to my eyes. Happy that you are seeing a difference. Go Bear!
    Gayletrini recently posted..It’s back to school timeMy Profile

  58. that’s so awesome that it’s working! 
    Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..Is Halloween Over?My Profile

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  1. scared says:

    [...] linking up this post with Shel @Things I Can’t Say, at Pour Your Heart Out Filed Under: anxiety, life [...]

  2. [...] PYHO feature is always a favorite of mine, but Pour Your Heart Out: Seeing a Difference really hit home. Both of my birth daughters have ADHD. One is medicated, and one is not. The [...]

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  5. [...] my son, he’s always been on the thin side but with the medication he takes for hisADHD, it suppresses his appetite- for the majority of the day anyway. So we try to get bigger meals into [...]

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