Pour Your Heart Out: Seeing a Difference

When we decided to  try medication for our kindergartener’s ADHD, we decided that we’d only keep him on it if there was a difference and he wasn’t experiencing any bad side effects.

If our child was going to take something, then it needs to do its job, otherwise, why have him take something unnecessarily?

The first week he was on it, we really didn’t notice a change, nor did his teachers.

So for week two, he was given an increased dosage. And it seemed to help… though I was waiting to hear reports from his teachers, as there’s a big difference between what he needs to do at school and what he needs to do at home. Plus, I was seeing him at the end of the day, as it was wearing off.

But then, at soccer practice last week, I saw it.

I could see a difference.

Bear loves to play soccer and when he is participating, he actually is a good little soccer player. But it’s getting him to join in full time that was an issue.

But that practice… he was joining in and doing such a great job.

Though I started to doubt myself a little: was I just looking for a difference and so I saw it?

And then I got my confirmation.

Bear was playing offense and really going after the ball: all the kids were down at the other side of the field except for two who were standing near the goal near where I was sitting and they were talking to each other- but loud enough that I could hear them.

The boy said, “Bear isn’t being all crazy today.”

The girl turned and watched him for a minute and said, “I know, he’s not. He’s doing really good!”

And my heart simultaneously swelled with joy and broke in mama pain.

For two six year-olds to notice the difference… well, the meds must really be helping, right?

But at the same time… they think he’s usually “all crazy?”

SIGH.

His teachers reported back the next day that they’ve noticed a difference. And at the game last weekend, almost all of the parents made a comment to me about how much he had improved(without knowing that he is now on medication).

So, he’ll continue taking the meds and we’ll continue to monitor his progress. For now, we stay hopeful because we can see that difference.

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Comments

  1. says

    Oh, Shell.  This makes my heart happy.  I’ve been there with my (former) stepson.  I get it.  So happy….hope the improvement continues!  Dont let ANYONE tell you that you’re not doing the right thing.
    Cyndy recently posted..Fall Good TimesMy Profile

  2. says

    My heart just swelled with joy and broke in pain for you!  Improvements – great! But the opinions of Bear..I totally feel that pain. I get it with my oldest daughter.  

    But I am glad he has shown improvements with the meds – the most important thing.  
    ilene recently posted..HookyMy Profile

  3. says

    Woo Hoo! So happy for Bear and for your family. And I wouldn’t worry too much about the other 6 year olds, to most 6 year olds different doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Different just means different. And at 6 they are usually pretty accepting of all children however they look or act.
    Making It Work Mom recently posted..Hanging OutMy Profile

  4. says

    Oh I remember that moment when Doug got mad but didn’t blow up like a rabid animal. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it didn’t. That was the moment for me, the hope that he could get it under control with some real help. I am so glad for ya’ll hun. Here is to bigger and brighter things in his future..
    Angel recently posted..Bye Bye smelly Muscle Rubs. Hello NoxicareMy Profile

  5. says

    Don’t fret, Mama. The positive difference IS positive. My husband coaches a boy who really needs his meds to perform to his capacity and although the kids don’t know the difference his parents are very honest with Coach about their son’s needs and are so happy to see him happy when he’s performing well. As long as the good outweighs any bad there is something to be said about the positive effects of monitored prescriptions. Many blessings to your family as you continue to figure out what works best for you.
    Mrs Montoya recently posted..Friendly ReminderMy Profile

  6. says

    It has to feel so good to have found something that is helping him. I feel for you when you talk about the confused feelings of being happy and pained at the same time. Thank you for sharing your story and experiences for us to learn from.
    Jen@Living a Listful{l} Life recently posted..The process.My Profile

  7. says

    That must have been tough to decide on the meds, but I am so, so glad you’re noticing a difference. Also? Overhearing the conversation between the kids would have been a little difficult for me, but it also reaffirms that it is, in fact, making a difference, even to people who have no concept of medication/attention disorders/etc. Hugs to you. xo
    angela recently posted..Energy, Enthusiasm, and ExhaustionMy Profile

  8. says

    This makes mu heart just burst for you! I am so glad that the meds are helping him. I wouldn’t be too upset about the kids saying he was “crazy”. Sometimes kids just don’t know how to use words properly (just wait until they are older and start using big words that they have NO CLUE what they mean). They probably just noticed that he was distracted but didn’t understand. =)
    Jayme @Random Blogette recently posted..Practice Makes PERMANENTMy Profile

  9. says

    I am so happy to hear this! I’m glad that the meds are doing their job and everyone is seeing the difference!

    Don’t worry about those kids… they’re just kids and using the best words they know to explain the situation. 
    Jackie recently posted..To Young….My Profile

  10. says

    Yay for Bear! I know what a hard decision it is to allow your child to be medicated. We struggled through the same decision with Cam for different reasons. In the end we made the same decision as you and we were relieved to see what a difference it made in his life. But man is it hard to give your kid medication. I’m so happy for you guys that it’s helping him so far!
    Delilah recently posted..5 Ways to Make Your Morning EasierMy Profile

  11. says

    I’m glad that you’ve been able to see a difference.  I’m sure that’s a relief.

    And I agree with Jackie about those other kids.  (HUGS)
    Kmama recently posted..Dog DaysMy Profile

  12. says

    Parenting is so hard! And just when you think you have one kid figured out, your other one throws you for a different loop. I can not parent my girls exactly the same way – their personalities are so different. Meds can be a scary thing, we certainly had that talk with our doctor for The Tortoise. It wasn’t as successful for us, but I am so glad it is working out for you. For us – she just needed time to mature, and now as a Freshman in high school, she is doing amazingly well. Great post!
    Emily recently posted..Be Enough Me: Now What?My Profile

  13. says

    Oh, Shell…this motherhood thing…just full of moments that we don’t know whether to be happy or sad so we end up being both. Moments that should be celebrated are often clouded with why they are celebrated to begin with. Moments that are sad are filled with trying to see the silver lining. It’s so hard. I am glad that the meds are working for Bear. What a relief that must be to know that the path you picked is turning out to be the right one. I’ll be thinking of you guys and praying that he continues to thrive.
    AnnMarie recently posted..An Open Letter to ExplainMy Profile

  14. says

    What a relief to have the meds work! My daughter wasn’t diagnosed until college, and the medicine changed her life. She recognizes the minor side affects and accepts them because the positive effects are so worth it: concentration and focus. She recently was promoted at work, has no doubt it was partly because of the talents she was able to share because she was focused. 

    I hope things continue to improve for your son!
    Kim recently posted..You are a WriterMy Profile

  15. says

    My Daughter is on medication for ADHD and I am so glad we decided to do it…although we agonized over it. I am a pharmacist by trade so I kow EVERY SINGLE side effect imaginable. However, she is so better focused and less annoying when she is taking her medication. My mama heart breaks too to acknowledge that my baby can be annoying to others but I feel better knowing that I am addressing the issue instead of turning a blind eye. I will be praying for your family, these kinds of things are NEVER easy, just like life!
    KATINA recently posted..31 Days to Clean-Day 2My Profile

  16. says

    I think it’s great that you have evidence that the medication is working but I understand how your heart hurt from the comments you’ve received, even though they are positive. My 3-year-old is 3 weeks in to his first soccer experience, and he’s not listening well and often does his own thing. Yesterday was picture day and as the photographer lined everyone up, my son kept bobbing up and down, not looking at the camera, etc. The photographer announced loudly, “If I had my Ritalin with me, I’d give some to you.” I was mortified and angry.
    KeAnne recently posted..An Open Letter to GoogleMy Profile

  17. says

    I’m sorry but also happy for you. I imagine it’s nice having your son be more “manageable” and focused but at the same time, you wish your son didn’t need medication. And to normally be “crazy” doesn’t help either.

    To be honest though, my son is VERY energetic and can be intense. His friends and even adults often comment that he is ‘wild’ and ‘crazy’. It’s just Hayden. I think he has mild ADHD. At this point, he doesn’t need medication – although that may be something we look into in the future if necessary.
    Melissa recently posted..swinging harper.My Profile

  18. says

    Oh Shell! My heart swells with happiness for you. I am glad that the medication is working but I also understand that this is bitter sweet. 

    Here’s hoping it only gets better. 
    Jen recently posted..BulliedMy Profile

  19. says

    That is a hard place–knowing he’s doing so well, but that the other kids have noticed too. I can imagine how hard this decision was for you, but I see how hard you’re working for Bear and I’m so glad that he’s had a better time this week. One day at a time.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Autumn HopesMy Profile

  20. Angie says

    As much as we hate having to medicate our children I am glad it is working for your little man. I am praying that you continue to see improvement and one day it won’t be necessary anymore.

  21. says

    Meds really can make such a difference. I am so happy for your family that you’re seeing results already! I know my godson has greatly benefited from medication – hopefully I would be able to make a similar, well-researched and heartfelt decision for my kids.
    Caitlin MidAtlantic recently posted..UsefulMy Profile

  22. says

    I know my mom did everything she could before she allowed them to put my younger step brother on medication for his ADD. And despite her very vocal and harsh critics prior to taking it, no one could deny the obvious difference it made in his life. To this day, in his 30’s — i can still tell when he is not taking his medication. We all wish there was a better alternative, but for now, he functions better with it ……it’s as simple as that.
    I know it had to been a tough decision — so glad that it is working well for Bear so far.
    Rorybore recently posted..Devotional Giveaway Winner!My Profile

  23. says

    I can’t even pretend to know how difficult a decision it was for you to go the medication route… so glad it’s working out for you and Bear. After all, it is about his well-being and it sounds like he’s doing more than well! Parenting and the decisions we make is more than tough; always second-guessing. But it’s the affirmations that get us through. 
    The Anecdotal Baby recently posted..MONSTERS?My Profile

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  1. […] PYHO feature is always a favorite of mine, but Pour Your Heart Out: Seeing a Difference really hit home. Both of my birth daughters have ADHD. One is medicated, and one is not. The […]