I stood on the sidelines of soccer practice, chatting with another mom about how the season is going so far.
We both expressed relief that the second practice was much more organized than the first had been. I confessed that if this night’s practice hadn’t gone more smoothly, I was most likely going to pull my child from the team. My Bear needs structure and even with it, he still has a hard time. Soccer time is not always the easiest for our family, much as he tells us he wants to play. The perks of having PDD-NOS and ADHD. Or you know, of being a six year-old.
The other mom said, “He’s really doing so great this year!”
One little sentence.
And my trying to keep my eyes on three kids at once, totally exhausted, been working all day with lots more to do once before I could sleep, always worried about my kids and especially about my child who often stands out as being a little different mama heart sang. And I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
Having someone notice something good and mention it really meant so much.
And yet, took so little from her.
How many mamas around us could use a word of encouragement? All of us, I think.
Maybe there’s a mom out there like me, who has a child with special needs.
Or maybe there’s a mom who has a sick child.
Or a mom who is going this parenting thing alone.
Or a mom who is just having one of those days.
A mom who feels like if she hears one more negative thing, she might burst into tears. And yes, even if she looks totally put together on the outside: we never know someone else’s struggles.
What if you notice something positive about her or her kids and mention it to her?
Her child who was so patient during the wait in the grocery store line.
What a gorgeous smile her child has.
How much you love the mom’s flip flops.
Something positive, any little thing.
Try it. That is my challenge to you. Sometime during the next week, find an opportunity to say something kind to another mom(or dad or anyone, really- we can all use a little kindness). And because the former teacher in me can’t quite die, I’m going to ask you about your “homework” on my facebook page next week.
Click if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Please add the button from the sidebar or add a text link to your post if you are joining in.
Aaah, if we all did this, can you imagine the smile on all our faces? It’s always nice to be told that we’re doing a good job b/c we don’t hear it often enough. We only get the stares if the kid screams at the store or the eye-rolling if we’re dressed or not dressed a certain way. I will pledge to be more positive & kind to the moms I see.
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..What She’ll Remember
I’m trying, too!
Yes to this. I try to do this often. Especially because I work with children for my job and in my volunteer position. I do this because I know good it feels for me when someone says something nice about my children. How I take that little nugget of goodness and bask in it all day. How something so little can make someone so happy. Love this homework!
Heather recently posted..What I am Doing and Not Doing
It doesn’t take much to make someone smile!
Love this reminder. Who couldn’t do with a kind word here and there? Even for those who ARE doing well by all accounts. Thank you Shell.
For the record, I think YOU are doing a wonderful job with your boys. And I mean it.
Alison recently posted..Priorities
Thanks, Alison!
It isn’t amazing what our words can do. So easy to lift someone up OR tear someone down. Taming my tongue is a constant battle!
Doesn’t take much to affect someone else’s mood.
Such a great reminder. Sometimes yes, we all just need a little encouragement or just some evidence that someone noticed. Thanks for this and love the homework for the week.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Scenes from my vacation – Montauk
Going to ask everyone very soon if they did their homework!
Thanks for the reminder, it’s true it takes so little effort to make someone else feel better. I’m having one of “those days” today, spent last night de-licing the family and my youngest has been up with some sort of stomach bug since six and her older brother woke up just now and said Mama you’re pretty. With three hours sleep, crazy nit-picked hair, and surely vomit or poop somewhere on me, I’m pretty.
The Bonny Bard recently posted..Like the mighty salmon. Or possibly something more flattering.
Oh, what a week you had! I hope it got better for you!
This is so true… saying something kind to another person takes such little effort but can totally change that person’s day or outlook even. I know some kind words have at times carried me through a whole day. Looking forward to doing the “homework.”
Have you done it yet?
A little kindness can go a long way, that is for sure. I try to encourage people regularly and I’ve found it really does make a difference in their world. Who doesn’t like a kind word spoken or getting a fun card in the mail? My most recent activity is to stop when I see families/friends/groups taking a picture. Very rarely do I get a picture of my whole family since someone has to take the picture, so I thought I’d pay it forward. Usually, people are thrilled! I’m glad that your soccer mom friend was able encourage you!
NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out- Post Vacation Blues
Love that! I try to do that as well- and people are usually so surprised that someone else is offering for them!
I love this assignment – especially since I know how much those kinds words help me! I accept your challenge!
ilene recently posted..How Not to Hold a Grudge
Can’t wait to hear how everyone did!
I love this assignment! I am going to try to look for ways to complete this assignment everyday!
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Particularly Loves Microorganisms
Can’t wait to hear about it!
You never know when I kind word will be all it takes to turn someone’s day around..or more.
Single Mom in the South recently posted..PYHO: Accepting Help
Doesn’t take much to make someone else smile!
Love this assignment Shell! I’m so glad for you that someone decided to brighten your day
angela recently posted..Covering My Eyes
Funny how a simple statement can mean so much.
How wonderful.
Blond Duck recently posted..Wings 41
Thanks!
Those little moments sometimes just mean the world, don’t they? What a great challenge
Delilah recently posted..Teaching Our Kids Not to Back Down
Just something simple- made me feel so much better.
I have a lot of those days lately where I just need to hear I’m doing a good job. With the hubby out of town all week for work and me juggling parenting, working full time and trying to keep the house livable on my own I often feel as if I’m failing. A few simple words of encouragement often make all the difference in the world.
Diana recently posted..Back and Better Than Ever
I hate when my husband is out of town. Makes the week feel so much longer. Hope you got some relief!
It’s amazing how such a small effort on the part of someone else can change our outlook or mood, isn’t it? I’m glad you got a little boost when it sounds like you really needed it!
Kmama recently posted..Calm Parenting
Thanks! Hope you are feeling good- will be over for a bump update soon- this week has been crazy.
That is a wonderful feeling to have someone else acknowledge that my kids are doing well at something. Mothering is hard work, and that bit of praise goes a long way. I almost said something nice to a single mother of a rowdy child in church last week, but she left before I had the chance. I’ll try again next time.
Patricia P recently posted..Dog Talk
I hope you do!
I try to do this regularly. It not only helps another mom/dad feel better but it makes me feel better too. It’s kind of like your blog. I come here on PYHO day to read these posts to remind myself of the struggles we all face and the triumphs too. I try to take away something from every post I read and think about it in my own behavior. I feel like blogging has helped me keep things in check and this post is a perfect example of how your blog reminds people to do that. xo
Kristen recently posted..Shopping With A Tween
I love hearing that!
We never know how our words or actions will affect another. It only takes one person to make a difference. Kindness is priceless!
Charity Deleon recently posted..Only once
So true!
We, as women and moms, need to remember this. It’s all too easy to tear each other down.
MiMi recently posted..Summer Projects
So easy to be negative.
I love this so much.
Years ago I met a girl who was so free with compliments. She was quick to tell me my hair looked nice that day or she liked my outfit. I was so drawn to her and I realized it was because she makes people feel so good. I try to remember that and do the same thing. It doesn’t come as naturally for me, but I try, and I appreciate this reminder!
She sounds like such a positive person!
Can we link something from a couple of weeks ago? I just realized…
I do this a lot. I love to support moms in stores or parks or at activities when they are making it happen. We stopped a dad of twins in Target the other day and said, “We aren’t going to give you any advice.”;)
Maggie S. recently posted..Is ‘Looking For a Hobby’ the Right Hobby for Me?
Of course you can!
It’s amazing how something so small can make a huge impact on someone else’s day. Glad you got to experience being on the end of it. I’ll be keeping my eyes open for opportunities to do the same.
Roxanne recently posted..Allow me to explain…
When we realize it doesn’t have to be something huge, I think that helps us to reach out to others.
What a great challenge! And yes, you just never know what someone is going through and really I think everyone, mom or non mom could benefit from hearing a few more nice things during their day.
Glad he is doing well.
Emmy recently posted..I Just Want to Get Dressed: A Mother’s Dilemma
Anyone could use a positive word- so true!
Hi Shell! Thanks for being so sweet and giving me the “heads up”. I added something that is a lot more appropriate!
Mindy @ New Equus – A New Creation recently posted..How to add a “Tweet This” link in your blog post.
Thanks for understanding, Mindy!
A great reminder that simple sentences pack a powerful punch! May I say something kinds to someone today!
Where is the ME in Mommy? recently posted..There Is No Such Things As Free Legal Advice
Hope you did!
Its funny, sometimes we have to be reminded to say nice things to people and even to ourselves. Having children is a challenge and if they have a slight medical issue as well. You’re doing the best you can;)
MangoChutney recently posted..I May Be Losing The Crazy
Thank you!!
Oh how true this is!! You never know when a few simple positive words will totally lift someone’s spirit!!!
Helene recently posted..These are the sure things in life…
Or what they are going through that they need those words.
Boy, did this hit home with me today. I’ve been going through a range of emotions lately just because I went back to school. I know just having someone say You can do this or You got this, lifts my spirits and makes me think, maybe I can do it after all. You never really do know what is on a person’s mind or how they may be struggling….great post!
Charlene recently posted..Someone Stop this Roller Coaster and Let Me Off!
I hope that you are enjoying being back at school!
Excellent post! I am going to make a conscious effort to do this all week!
Mamarific recently posted..Slacker Mom Returns to Preschool
CAn’t wait to hear about it!!
I love this! I try to say something positive or complimentary to someone every day, especially if it looks like someone “needs” it.
Nicole recently posted..First you tell me that your dog ran away, then you tell me that it took three days
Love that!
Love this! And you are doing a great job!!
Me, on the other hand… I wrote about soccer practice, too, but my experience was completely the opposite of yours. Sigh…
IASoupMama recently posted..That Kid
Usually, soccer sucks. I really need to change my attitude about it, since it’s 6 days a week!
What a wonderful challenge this is…I am going to do this! So glad that mom made your day with one little sentence.
Natalie recently posted..Two Under Two-Four Weeks In
Thanks, Natalie!
I’m on it! So glad you got those little words of heaven!!!
Tayarra recently posted..My Middle One
Thanks, Tayarra!
Aw that’s sweet. It’s nice to hear a story about a mom saying something nice, because I know there are too many stories where mom’s are being catty instead.
Venassa recently posted..Discriminating Contest Rules
So true. And it shouldn’t be that way.
If we all did this, I think we’d see a huge difference in everyone’s attitude. I know that there are days where I’m at my wits end and just need someone to point out SOMETHING, anything really, that is going right. An encouraging word would mean the world on days like that. What a great challenge!
Courtney Kirkland recently posted..28 Week Bumpdate
A big, positive, snowball effect!
Kindness speaks mountains – puts joy in our heart. Keeping you in prayer. Bless You!
Ms. Kathleen recently posted..Joyful!
Thank you, Ms. Kathleen!
You know, I actually got to do just that a couple weeks ago. It was a Saturday around 5pm. I went to the grocery store. While there I saw these kids in one of those car shopping carts. 3 kids, age 6 or 7 and under. They were kind of in the basket but getting in and out. Then I realized what the deal was. They were at their mom’s work! The mom was stocking shelves in the aisles while they were supposed to be just hanging out contained in the basket. They were sort of doing that. I honestly couldn’t believe that this mother had her kids there while she did this job. It’s so hard just to grocery shop with kids and that’s with the basket moving and with us being done in an hour or less. I didn’t really know what I could do, but my heart went out to her so all I could think of was to go over to her and tell her I admired her for doing what she had to do and that I thought overall her kids were doing a pretty good job. I hope it at least gave her some encouragement. Good post!
Kimberly recently posted..Letting Go
Oh wow- that’s awesome that she was able to do that and that you encouraged her!
I can do this!
Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) recently posted..A Loaded Question: How was your first week?
It is amazing what encouragement can do…especially with our extra special kiddos!
Michelle
We need that encouragement!
I accept this challenge! Mainly because I already try to do it because of all the reasons you said. But now I have a reason to seek out such an opportunity.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Metamorphosis (And Also, Why I Don’t Vlog)
Hope you found a chance to do it!
You’re so right. It’s so easy to get to the end of your rope, and even one kind word can lift the weight of the world from your shoulders.
Kristin recently posted..July Is Blurry
Doesn’t take much to totally change our moods!
I love this! You’re right, we never really know what somebody is going through. Thank you!
Suzie recently posted..Write It Out Thursday – A Peace Treaty With Myself
Thanks, Suzie!
This post makes me want to cry… because all too often I hear negative comments instead of positive ones. Why is there a speck of food stuck to Equis’ cheek? He whined and whined for ten minutes. It was terrible. Did you comb his hair today? It feels good when someone acknowledges the good things you and your children are doing. I’m glad that Mama recognized that Bear is doing well this year. Soccer sounds like a bit of headache… Brava to you for keeping up with it. ~Xiomara
Xiomara recently posted..Happy 2nd Birthday! An Open Letter to My Son {PYHO}
So hard to hear negative nonstop!
You are an awesome mom!
Sandy
momof12 recently posted..I’m Having a Bad Day
Thanks, Sandy!
You know what… you’re right. I really just takes someone saying something simple but it really does brighten your day. I will try to remember this tonight at cheer practice.
Hope you found a chance to participate!
This is a great reminder. As a natural introvert, I really have to work to find ways to brighten other people’s day because my personality is to stay to myself. But I know what a difference those little moments can make – we can help lift others up with so little effort.
Mel recently posted..Questions
Oh, I hear you. But knowing that it doesn’t take much is what helps me reach out.
I love to give out little compliments, I know how much ‘your son has such gorgeous eyes’ or ‘he is so smart’ picks me up on an ‘I’m not being a very good momma day’ and I like to pass that on. I’m so glad her words meant so much and I bet she didn’t have a clue!
stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..Sinners Burn in Hell aka the 1% Milk Disaster
Those little compliments really do mean a lot!
It’s amazing how one little sentence makes the world of difference. Hang onto that because you never know when you need to pull that back out to remember.
Diane recently posted..Power Struggle.
So very true!
I am glad I popped over from Molly Jo’s blog to find you. I enjoyed reading about soccer practice and the act of kindess. You are right, it takes only a second to be kind and the rewards to both the recipient and the giver can be immeasurable. Your son is very lucky to have such a loving mom.
Welcome, Winnie!
Amazing how we may never know how a simple comment might impact another person – for better or for worse, right? Great reminder to make our comments for the better. How’s your little guy doing with his new teacher?
Becky K recently posted..Kindergarten Is Not a Big Green Ugly Monster
He’s doing okay… haven’t heard too much about it, but I did get to talk to his old teacher and she reassured me that he is in the best hands.
Excellent challenge, Shell. I’m on it!
Just Jennifer recently posted..The Moment I Knew
Yay!
Great advice. I”ll do it.
Can’t wait to hear about it, Leigh!
When I’m with mothers who have special needs children, I always compliment them or find something positive about them. There is no such thing as too many nice things. Negativity leads nowhere but down.
It’s nice that she said that to you. That one little sentence that probably gave you a bit of encouragement and good feeling. Like you said, it doesn’t take much, sometimes to bring someone up.
Lluvia recently posted..LOSE 600 CALORIES IN 2 SECONDS!!! HERE IS HOW!!!!
Hey you- you’ve been missed!
This is so true. Each of us struggles, in our own ways. And we should support each other.
Thanks for the great reminder!
Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..Essence of Now (September 7, 2012)
Support instead of tearing down, for sure! Become positive moms instead of adding to mommy wars.
My favorite part of this post is that your son is doing great this year. I’m glad someone took the time to tell you. This is a great idea.
AnnMarie recently posted..No Patience
It really did mean a lot!
What an amazing challenge. We all need the encouragement!!
Barbara recently posted..The Girl who Cried Pre-school
Yes, we really can all use an extra kind word or two!
Those simple words from one mom to another mean so much, even if it is something as easy as I like your shoes.
Jessica recently posted..Essence Of Now: Labor
Yup- doesn’t have to be anything big or involved to make someone’s day.
I love this Shell! I am late to the game but I am going to take your challenge to encourage someone!
Paula @ Simply Sandwich recently posted..Conflicts in Coexisting
Good! Glad you’ll join in!
Love this site. I wish for a miracle. I wish all my short stories will be a sell out so that I can buy a house that I will call home because at the moment I am paying a rent of more than R3800 a month.
Regards
Mbali Zulu recently posted..No feed items at the moment
What a great challenge! Thank you for reminding me to say the kind things – not just think them. You are right – they do matter!
Dawn @ Come Over For Coffee recently posted..Don’t Let My Curly Hair Fool You