A Mom of Boys Says….

Go pee INSIDE!

Yes, you have to wear pants.

Pull up your swim trunks!

No more wrestling your brother!

Spitting is not allowed in the house.

Get your hands out of your pants.

Stop it before someone gets hurt.

Not everyone likes mud.

Don’t throw that!

What? There’s a difference between Power Rangers Samari and Power Rangers Super Samari?

What do you mean, “What’s for dinner?” Y’all just ate an entire pizza!

Put the stick down.

Being a mom to boys is an awful lot like being a pirate mom and maybe I have to say some crazy things, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!

What odd things do you find yourself telling your kids?

This is not a sponsored post, but I wanted you to know about a chat on The Motherhood happening on Tuesday, July 11 at 1pm ET. For a half an hour, we’ll talk “Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails: Raising Boys.” Other hosts are  @TheMommyMess,  @gdrpempress,  @DumbMom,  @KimberlyAMuro, and @tsharp12.  I hope you’ll join us!

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  1. I have asked, “Is that chocolate or poop?”
    myevil3yearold recently posted..Life LessonsMy Profile

    • I’ve asked that. Even though I wanted to run away instead of waiting for the answer!

  2. LOL! I have uttered just about every single one of those phrases being a mom of 4 boys!
    Charlene recently posted..Hey Mom, Look What I Did (#39)My Profile

  3. I say take your hands out of your pants all the time too!

    Also, stop banging that on the floor/ table/ chair. And be careful don’t fall. A Lot.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Things I’ll Miss And Things I Won’tMy Profile

    • Be careful. I say that one so much that I practically do it without thinking!

  4. That is too funny.  I have said so many of those.  It is so true.  And you are right being a mom to boys is so much fun!
    Shelly recently posted..InstaFridayMy Profile

  5. Yes, yes and YES. I say all of these about 20 times a day. But I wouldnt change it for ANYTHING!
    Jessica recently posted..Miss Me Now You Gotta Kiss MeMy Profile

  6. How about “Stop touching your brother!”
    momof12 recently posted..Girl Scout CampMy Profile

  7. So funny!!:) Just the other day I caught myself saying “No you can’t go outside in just a teeshirt and socks, you do HAVE to have pants on!” and I thought how did it come to this? But I am comforted that it’s normal…:)
    colleen recently posted..The Shocking Duplicity of My Existance Or Confessions of A Minimalist Dumpster DiverMy Profile

  8. I said a few of those this weekend. Isn’t it fun being a boy mom? :)
    Barbara recently posted..It’s a Sunshine DayMy Profile

  9. I love this post!  I can see myself saying a lot of these things in the future.  Right now since we’re in the throws of potty training two boys at once, I find myself saying as they sit on the potty seats next to each other, “Tuck your penis down!” 
    Heather recently posted..July Garden UpdateMy Profile

    • Oh my- good luck with that! I’m so glad that we are done potty training here! 

  10. I have said all of these things too. Our latest way to lock horns is hand washing. I ask him if he has washed his hand and he tells me yes he has. I ask when and he tells me yesterday. No, that isn’t recent enough. He has to go and wash them for this moment in time.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Celebrating Imagination-Teddy Bear’s Picnic DayMy Profile

  11. LOL! I have said every one of the things on your list. As for, “pee inside”, letting them pee outside was the only way I got those boys out of diapers!
    Victoria KP recently posted..100 Word Song: A Light Left OnMy Profile

    • Mine did the same thing. And I’m okay with it… sometimes. But not if the neighbors could see!

  12. Sadly, I say almost all of those things to my girl, too… maybe because she has a brother?

    My all time, I Can’t Believe I Just Said That Moment remains the time I yelled, at the top of my lungs, across the yard to The Girl, who was tackling her brother on a trampoline, “Pull up your pants and get off your brother!!!”
    Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..On Magazines and MothersMy Profile

  13. Just the other day I had to tell my youngest to stop licking her older sister.
    Shannon recently posted..Friday Favorites #4My Profile

  14. This weekend, I might have said, “Do you have to go pee?  No?  Well then, stop playing with your penis.  I promise it’s still there!”
    Kmama recently posted..Thank You Very Much: 7/9/12My Profile

  15. EVERYDAY when my husband walks in the door from work the first thing out of his mouth is ‘so and so’ where are your pants!!!??? Often it is all three of them. One day maybe I’ll surprise him and it will be all four of us!!!
    Cindy Bryl recently posted..Faith and DisabilityMy Profile

  16. I’m sure I’ll sound a lot like this when my two boys get older :)
    Natalie recently posted..4 Adults, 2 HighchairsMy Profile

  17. Not too long ago I found myself telling my four year old, “Come pick up all these shotgun shells so I can vacuum!” I was completely baffled that the words were coming out of my mouth. He collected them at our family’s ranch and littered them all over the floor!
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..Seven (Don’t Worry, This is Much Different Than That Brad Pitt Movie, It’s Just a List.)My Profile

  18. I only have one little guy, and I still say so many of those on a regular basis. I can’t imagine if I had more :) You should just have a tshirt made :)
    angela recently posted..Who Wears Short Shorts?My Profile

  19. Love these! Raising girls is not so different! I find myself telling my little one to get her hands out of her pants regularly. More …
    Get your feet off your sister.
    No, you can’t live only on fruit snacks. 
    Please stop wiping your boogers on your sister.
    No, I have no idea where your nearly invisible Polly Pocket red shoe is. 
    Quit flinging that fairy wand around – you’ll poke someone’s eye out. 

    Fun post!
    Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..Vacation Re-Entry: Words to Live ByMy Profile

  20. Yep, I totally say all those things.

    Sounds like a great chat. I love The Motherhood!

    • Hope you’ll join us! I think their chats are much easier to follow than twitter parties.

  21. I have said all of the above so many times that it’s like a mommy chant. So funny how much we all have in common. A few of our unique phrases include “no weapons at the table”, “don’t take the remote to the bathroom with you” and “stop hitting the neighbor with your battle axe!”

    Parenting is certainly an adventure!
    Dawn @ Come Over For Coffee recently posted..My Friend ListMy Profile

  22. So funny.  I have to say, “Don’t be so loud” a lot. 
    Leigh Powell Hines @Hinessightblog recently posted..Strolling around Historic New Bern, North Carolina, the Birthplace of PepsiMy Profile

    • I usually end up yelling(and defeating the point) “WHY are you so loud?????”

  23. I think I’ve said all of those many times, except “go pee INSIDE”.  Knock on wood!  I’ve also had to say things such as…
    No chainsaws in your bed
    Sticks are not light sabers
    Quit sniffing people.

  24. “No! No more dink fights!”
    Nicole recently posted..It’s Fashion Disaster Week in YYC!My Profile

  25. My personal favorite remains “you do not put your sister’s shoe on your penis.”
    John recently posted..Where I reflect on the direction of my blog and what makes me visit other blogsMy Profile

    • Oh, the things I’ve had to say to my boys about that particular appendage. It was actually blogging about that that made me start this blog instead of keeping everything on my family one. LOL

  26. Sounds like fun! 

    And maybe I will learn a thing or two since boys baffle me… daily. 
    Jen recently posted..Parenting Lessons from a Costumer Service RepMy Profile

    • I definitely don’t have them figured out. They are dirty and confusing little creatures. 

  27. I only have girls but I constantly have to tell them that they can’t go to the store or anywhere outside of our home in their pjs. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I am the root of this problem as I love to be in mine!
    Kristen recently posted..Misery Loves CompanyMy Profile

  28. I am telling you that little girls are way worse then boys about putting their hands in their pants or messing with their private area. I have to say those things to all of my kids, not just the boy. lol.
    The funniest/weirdest thing I said over the weekend was “Do not try to pick her ear with your toe.” Why? Why, do I have to say these things? ;)
    Kim Young recently posted..Dealing With InsuranceMy Profile

    • Toes in an ear, ewwww!

       I used to have to tell my oldest to stop biting his TOEnails. So gross. But one time, he bit down too far and got it infected and it was painful so he stopped. 

  29. I distinctly remember telling one of them, “Do NOT pee on the bug!” 
    MiMi recently posted..Waxing Poetic on Growing UpMy Profile

  30. Too funny! I have two boys and these are true! I have a daughter as well, so I also had to say, “Untie your sister!” :-)
    mare ball recently posted..A Great Place to BeMy Profile

  31. The dog is not a dark lord of the Sith! Do not chase him with the light saber!
    Duffy recently posted..Other blog postsMy Profile

  32. I find myself saying more and more, “That is NOT appropriate!” (usually immediately followed by “where are your pants?!?”)

  33. this!! is exactly how I feel lately!! “WHY ARE YOU NAKED?” is my favorite lately.
    Why are they naked all the time???

    but I think I’ve said all of these and just reading it made me giggle. :)
    Kir recently posted..Just Be Enough: I’m Every Color?My Profile

  34. I find myself saying the same crazy things all the time! One of my personal favorites is telling them, “Just behave like civilized people when we’re in public, please!” Somehow they interpret this to mean that they can be uncivilized at home!
    Patricia P recently posted..Dog PartyMy Profile

  35. Ha, this was great.
    The latest thing I find myself saying is “Get your hands out of your pants.”
    Carolyn recently posted..Applesauce Spiced Protein BarsMy Profile

    • Yes! I don’t get it! 

      I’m also having to say “no toys in your underwear!” 

  36. Giggle I have said pretty much everything on this list to both my son AND my daughters!!
    Come on everybody knows that Power Ranger Super Samurai is the one where the famous black box is unlocked and the Red Ranger is given Super Samurai Powers and a really awful costume! HAHAHHAHAHAHHA yup we watch way too much Power Ranger themed TV here.
    Did you know that there is also Power Ranger Jungle Fury, DIno Thunder and my children’s new fav Power Ranger ninja Storm. LOL LOL
    Gayletrini recently posted..What is your favourite colour?My Profile

    • I  did know- b/c my boys have figured out a way to make a series recording of ALL of those. Our dvr is overrun with Power Rangers!!!

  37. I say a lot of those things to the girls too…must be because they always want to copy Ethan ;)
    Natalie recently posted..Mommy Moment – Julie StyleMy Profile

  38. Add in, “stop smearing peanut butter in her hair!” and you’ve encapsulated my life!
    Meredith recently posted..Parenting/Parents Magazines: The Monday ReviewMy Profile

    • We haven’t quite had that one b/c my boys would never waste pb- they have to eat it all.

      But they have painted each other. And NOT with washable paint.

  39. My eldest son is home for 3 weeks after completing his first year at the US Naval Academy. He’s learned all sorts of new moves that takes brotherly wrestling to a whole new level. I’m a little embarrassed to say that this weekend I yelled,
    “DO NOT choke out your brother!”

  40. Hmm…it seems I have asked my girls some of the same questions. 
    Jessica recently posted..Time Dog: The Only Dog That Actually Listens To MeMy Profile

  41. I say most of those things to my girls too. And I also say things like get off the floor! This is a public restroom and its dirty! As well as-if you take off your diaper and smear poop everywhere one more time, mommy is going to lose her mind and may end up in jail. Boys!
    Twingle Mommy recently posted..Let’s Be Honest with Purex Plus a GiveawayMy Profile

    • Oh yes, public restrooms. I find myself yelling “DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING! IT’S DIRTY!” 

  42. Confession: I potty-trained my boys outside. And now at 10 and 8 years of age when I tell them to go to the bathroom because we are leaving the house, they go in the backyard. Yup. #motherofthecentury
    Foursons recently posted..Independence Day 2012My Profile

    • Ha. I really don’t mind it- but only if they are out of sight of the neighbors!

  43. Is it wrong that I used to tell Jack to go ahead and pee OUTSIDE all the time?

    You see, we have a pool. And if I actually made him get out, dry off and go inside to pee, he’d just go in the pool.

    So. Letting him aim at the bushes in the side yard seemed like a good idea at the time.

    Still, he’s 15 now. Better get that under control soon, right? Ha! Just kidding. 
    (Now I’m sure he just pees in the pool…)
    julie gardner recently posted..Today call me monstrousMy Profile

    • That makes a lot of sense! And as long as my boys go where the neighbors can’t see, I’m okay with it. Just not right smack in the middle of the yard!

  44. Oh yes, I say those frequently. We need t-shirts with all the sayings on them with “No” and “Stop that” being in big bold letters.
    Denise recently posted..My Juice and Smoothie FastMy Profile

  45. No, you may not poop in the grass!

    Please don’t fart on your brother.
    Jessica recently posted..Six months oldMy Profile

  46. this list made me chuckle. I have said and continue to say many, many of these things daily. The “pull up your pants” thing is pretty common in our house. What is it with boys and not wanting to wear pants?!

  47. Funniest thing that I ever said that came back to bite me in the butt was when my oldest was picking his nose at the grocery store, when he was about 3, I asked, “What did I say about that?” He answered, “I know…stop playing with my nose. My nose is not a toy. My penis is not a toy.” He said it loudly and two checkout lanes of people had a good laugh but in his defense, at that time, I was saying that a lot.

  48. “Listen!” – “Not so rough” – “Be nice to your brother” –  “Don’t throw that!” … And all the things you mentioned as well!  And I so agree…I wouldn’t have it any other way!
    Jill @ Mommy Inconsistent recently posted..Card Me, Please!My Profile

  49. #1 is by far my favorite!! It doesn’t help that my husband will often go outside! Really?
    Adrienne recently posted..Poor Max and Ruby…My Profile

  50. Okay…. so I’ve been a mom of girls up until 2 years ago and now I have a boy! I find myself saying some of those things more than I think I need too…. and he’s only 2 1/2!
    Jackie recently posted..Brandcation ~ Yes! I want to go!My Profile

    • It’s a different world, isn’t it? I’d probably be in for culture shock if I had a girl.

  51. When my girls were small, my best friend and I used to talk constantly on the phone. She, like you, had 3 boys. 
    While I used to stuff them full of Oreos on my end, just to silence the talky talk long enough for me to have an adult conversation, my friend was on the other line, constantly yelling, “STOP TOUCHING IT.”
    I don’t think anything changes. 
    joann mannix recently posted..A Mishmosh of TalesMy Profile

  52. How sad is it that I can relate to the “Get your hands out of your pants!”…and that’s to my 14 year old…sigh…I’ve been a bad bloggy friend, I’ve been so busy with school, but I leave and I come back, and look at you, you’re the fricken Bloggess with all these comments! Go you!
    Sandra recently posted..Revelation: I am that annoying chick…My Profile

  53. Yep, I say many of those things to my son as well. Boys are so….BOYS!
    Just Jennifer recently posted..Did You Know? Blogger Comments and RepliesMy Profile

  54. So true!!  Just the other day I had to tell Nathaniel that no he could not just pull his pants down wherever when he needed to pee.

  55. I think boys are really more stubborn than guys. But stubborn or not, I know all of us still cherish our kid. They’re our most treasured gifts ever. 
    Mark recently posted..Hello world!My Profile


  1. […] that I could dig out my rose-colored glasses this morning and wax poetic about how sweet it is that my boys come to me for everything. That they think it’s mom who can do whatever it is that they need. […]