Things They Can’t Say: Babes Rockin Mami

There are some things that you just don’t expect to happen, learning lessons from Caillou would top the list for me.  I do not love that annoying four year old but my son thinks they are best friends which means, I watch it daily.  A few weeks ago I was watching an episode and I don’t even remember what it was about it that triggered me to thinking but I realized that Nathaniel (my almost three year old) would only be little for so long so I needed to refocus and start enjoying staying at home with him again.

You see, I’ve been going through a rough patch with my decision to stay at home.  Wondering if Nate wouldn’t be happier in daycare or would I be better off bringing in tangible income?  I originally decided to stay at home because my husband and basically raised ourselves due to crazy working parents and we both felt like they missed out on a lot.  Parents rarely came to concerts or programs and it was hard to play a sport with no ride or encouragement on his side.  This decision isn’t for everyone but this is what we wanted and you never know, things might change one day but for now this is what works for us.  Back on topic, I have been enjoying most of my time with Nate but when he is throwing a fit, refusing to eat and has been a jerk all day…I end up frustrated and wanting to pull my hair out and run screaming for the hills!  There are only so many times you can count to three!  I used to be able to control my frustrations, rarely getting upset with him and quickly working through the problem.  I was able to see all the sunshine and rainbows of my stay at home life but the clouds have been closing in on me.

Then I saw this episode of Caillou and it just clicked, one day, not very far from now, he will be spending eight hours a day at school and (ideally) 8-10 hours sleeping and that leaves me with…6-8 hours to squeeze in our bonding time together between soccer, dinner and homework.  I want to enjoy our park romps, storytime at the library and fingerpainting.  I want to be there for all his firsts and play with the trucks while he is still little enough to want to be with me.  I need to refocus on the reasons I started on this journey and go back to working through my frustrations and not resorting to yelling and being annoyed daily.  I wasn’t always this quick to fire and it’s time to get it in check!

Have you ever had inspiration spring from a weird place?

Steph is a “Reformed party girl now raising a three year old instead of shot glasses! Armed with honesty and sarcasm I fight the boring stay at home mom image and wrangle my toddler with the grace of an elephant doing ballet! In my off hours I’m an exercise addicted baker who likes to nerd it up with my husband. The most risk taking I do now is figuring out if that brown blob is chocolate or poop!” Follow her blog and find her on twitter and facebook.


  1. says

    I think if we SAHM pretended that life with our kids day in and out was roses and sunshine we would all have noses Pinocchio would be shocked by. It isn’t always easy and we are often pushed to our limits. I think refocusing is great, but don’t beat yourself up about having a few rough days sweetie.
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  2. says

    What’s that saying about the days are long but the years are short? I hate that people would always tell me to “enjoy your time because it goes so fast!” But it does. Just hard to do it in the moment when your kid is freakin’ out.

    And Cailou would make me feel sentimental all the time. But then, I cry at commercials and movie trailers.
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  3. says

    Being a stay at home mom is as hard or harder than working out of the home for me it’s harder. We each have our own unique set of circumstances that bring us to make the decisions we make. For me the decision to resign from my job and stay home after working for fourteen years was after the birth of my fifth child who was born with Cri du Chat Syndrome. Financially we are still trying to find our balance but I know in the depths of my soul it was the right decision. She survived thanks to the fact that I chose to stay home with her and I’ve realized in these last three years that the time I missed with my children I will never have back. They grow up so fast! 
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  4. says

    Steph, I have had those moments of wrangling and by far the most with my youngest who’s three and a half now. I think, with me it was partially the terrible three’s ( I don’t believe in the terrible two’s 😉 ) and also the fact, that yes, I’ve been home for almost 12 years now… but these moments pass and in the end I know this is the right decision for us. Hang in there!!! He’ll appreciate it when he’s older. :)
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  5. says

    I think it ebbs and flows for everyone, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Your awareness of what you want out of it puts you ahead of the game! Frustration days will happen, though, even when you are trying to be present and enjoy every moment. You rock at mama-hood :)
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  6. says

    LIl Duck did much better than I thought she would when she had to move from spending my work days with family to a daycare/preschool setting. You know I quit my job, choosing to take another path so that I could spend more time with her. So that I could be the one to take her to school, attend school parties etc. Even through the summer when I could be spending nearly 24/7 with her, I chose to keep her in a summer program just two days a week. It is a great balance for us between getting all the mommy and family time I could and providing her some socialization away from me and helping her grown her independence and comfort in being away for a bit. YOU know what is best for you and Babe. <3 We ALL can use reminders now and again to appreciate being in the moment whether its with our children, our spouse or simple while taking a walk. You are a great mom!
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  7. says

    it is a hard decision, and I sometimes truly think I’m not cut out for this job, but even if I’m a lousy “homemaker” I know my kids love being with me, so I guess that’s all that matters…
    and Calliou is an annoying little jerk…so glad my kids are over him
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  8. says

    I’m a SAHM during the summers (I’m a teacher), and I’ll say that it’s definitely not easy. There are days that I can’t stand it. And then at the end of the summer, I’m always wishing I had more time with my kids. During the working part of the year, I miss a lot because, contrary to what some people believe about teachers, my job isn’t done at 3pm every day. I bring work home constantly. I try my best to cherish the summer and make the most out of the time I have with my children. Not everyone gets to have it both ways (working and also staying at home part of the time). 
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  9. says

    I have been both a working mother and a stay-at-home mom, and I think both are difficult.  It IS hard to stay home all day with someone, no matter how much you love them!  Just ask my husband when we’ve both had a couple vacation days together!  LOL  Three is a tough age, too.  I went back to school, then work, after my girls were both in school.  I sometimes feel like I’m missing out on some things because I’m exhausted by the end of the day.  Those few hours after school fly by so quickly, too.  I’m glad to hear you have decided to enjoy your time together while your son is still home full-time!
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