There are some things that you just don’t expect to happen, learning lessons from Caillou would top the list for me. I do not love that annoying four year old but my son thinks they are best friends which means, I watch it daily. A few weeks ago I was watching an episode and I don’t even remember what it was about it that triggered me to thinking but I realized that Nathaniel (my almost three year old) would only be little for so long so I needed to refocus and start enjoying staying at home with him again.
You see, I’ve been going through a rough patch with my decision to stay at home. Wondering if Nate wouldn’t be happier in daycare or would I be better off bringing in tangible income? I originally decided to stay at home because my husband and basically raised ourselves due to crazy working parents and we both felt like they missed out on a lot. Parents rarely came to concerts or programs and it was hard to play a sport with no ride or encouragement on his side. This decision isn’t for everyone but this is what we wanted and you never know, things might change one day but for now this is what works for us. Back on topic, I have been enjoying most of my time with Nate but when he is throwing a fit, refusing to eat and has been a jerk all day…I end up frustrated and wanting to pull my hair out and run screaming for the hills! There are only so many times you can count to three! I used to be able to control my frustrations, rarely getting upset with him and quickly working through the problem. I was able to see all the sunshine and rainbows of my stay at home life but the clouds have been closing in on me.
Then I saw this episode of Caillou and it just clicked, one day, not very far from now, he will be spending eight hours a day at school and (ideally) 8-10 hours sleeping and that leaves me with…6-8 hours to squeeze in our bonding time together between soccer, dinner and homework. I want to enjoy our park romps, storytime at the library and fingerpainting. I want to be there for all his firsts and play with the trucks while he is still little enough to want to be with me. I need to refocus on the reasons I started on this journey and go back to working through my frustrations and not resorting to yelling and being annoyed daily. I wasn’t always this quick to fire and it’s time to get it in check!