At the end of last summer, I made a list of 4 steps to a better summer next year. And the item on my list that had me worried for this year is this:
Rock a bikini. I don’t have any delusions that I will be able to have a perfect body by next summer. Though losing 10 pounds would be nice. But, what I noticed at the pool and the beach is that so many mamas decided that they didn’t care if their bodies weren’t perfect- they went for it with a bikini. And had the confidence to pull it off(not literally pull it off- we don’t frequent those kinds of beaches). While I wore my full coverage tankini with gut-sucking-in briefs. Which did rock… but next summer, I’m going for the bikini, too.
It seems like it would be so easy when I wrote that. I would have worn a bikini right then had I not already had my tankini tan lines to contend with.
Plus, I had the idea that by the following summer, I would need a smaller size bathing suit. At the time, I was working out regularly. But, since then, I’ve almost stopped completely.
Between work and then my middle son’s school calling me all the time in the fall to come get my child, I kept thinking I couldn’t go to the gym. And then I fell out of the habit.
So instead of being the same weight I was last summer or that optimistic losing 10 pounds, I’ve gained 10 pounds.
My stomach has never been the same after three pregnancies. There’s that extra “mommy pouch” that I can’t get to go away.
My thighs touch.
And my arms jiggle.
I have stretch marks.
And I get a shock when I see my butt in the mirror, as it’s bigger than I thought it was.
So, as I was ordering a swimsuit for this summer, I was tempted to once again go for the tummy-sucking-in briefs and that long tankini top… with tummy sucking in power there, too: for double insurance.
But, then I went back and read my post from last summer. And felt guilty.
I sounded so confident. So I don’t care, I’m going to rock it anyway.
So, I ordered the bikini.
When it arrived, I tried it on and cringed.
Uh-oh, I don’t care what I blogged, I’m not going through with this.
So, we went on our first beach trip of the year and I wore a sundress since I wasn’t going in the water.
But as I looked around, I realized the same thing I had last year. That it just takes a little confidence to be able to rock a bikini… not a perfect body.
And so, all the times we’ve headed to the beach and the pool since then, I wore my bikini.
I may have even rocked it.
Maybe I’d show better swimsuit confidence if I posted an actual pic of me… but so far this summer, that would have required trusting one of my kids with my camera or phone near water. Maybe later in the summer.
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