My kindergartener, Bear, came home from school on Friday with a black eye.
I have no doubt that it was an accident.
His TA called Friday afternoon to let me know what had happened: that he and another child were both leaning down to pick something up off the floor in the computer lab and they knocked heads.
Things like this happen with kids all the time.
But I felt a little twinge.
And I thought what if it had been the other child who had ended up with the black eye?
I wonder if it would have been brushed off so quickly as an accident.
When your child struggles and has to have a behavior plan in place… they aren’t given the same benefit of the doubt.
Things like this aren’t looked at as an accident but are analyzed to death.
What would have been the better choice for him to make to make sure things like this don’t happen in the future?
Was he upset with the child who was hurt?
Had he done something like this in the past?
Should he be monitored more closely?
Should there be a consequence?
Yes, for the exact same thing that happened to him. Where I don’t question that it was just an unfortunate accident.
But, with the shoe on the other foot, it becomes a much bigger deal.
It hurts my mama heart to think about it.
Because sometimes yes, absolutely, he has done something wrong and it needs to be dealt with.
But other times, he should be entitled to make the same mistakes that other kids make.
Click if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Please add the button from the sidebar or add a text link to your post if you are joining in.
My first time linking up!
I’m sorry to hear that the situation is treated differently depending on the child(ren) involved. That is quite the shiner, though!
Amanda recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: A Nice Start
I understand why, but it still makes it hard.
Thanks for joining in!
I know how you feel. I’ve been on both sides of that equation and it’s difficult. It’s hard to squelch the mama bear instinct sometimes. He sure is sporting one heck of shiner. Wowzer!
Delilah recently posted..So What?
So very hard. I just want to protect my kids.
Oh I feel for you. It does hurt the mama heart. I can so relate.
My 7 year old can be a bit high maintenance emotionally so when things upset him, it’s at times not taken as seriously compared to another kid, who is less emotional. Unequal treatment. No fair!
That’s so frustrating.
I am so sorry. It is so hard when things like this happen to our children, and it does hurt the heart, doesn’t it? I remember in grade four I got in serious trouble for poking a boy with a pencil in the neck, but I did this after he poked me in the back with his pencil. Of course, only I was the one who was ‘caught’ and only I was punished. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have done it, but you know what? That wasn’t fair…
Loukia recently posted..Catching Up
No, not at all!
Oh, how I know what you are feeling! My daughter has ADHD and to be honest, I have gotten to the place that I blame her first too. Your post has helped me see that sometimes in childhood there are JUST accidents even in children that have a labelled “behavioral issue”. My mama heart aches for you and bear and all the other children like bear who although they may not have the same condition, are not given the benefit of the doubt for some reason or another: their race, their family background, their social economic status, a medical condition, …………..,.
It’s hard for others to remember- or even me sometimes. But, we need to really look at each situation and not bring our thoughts about the child’s previous behavior into it all the time.
Oh yes, this.
You are the master of helping others (me) see both sides of every situation.
(This hurst my mama heart, too. I’m so glad that he has you advocating for, and loving, him.)
Galit Breen recently posted..Buying Worries
Thank you, sweet friend.
I’m trying to find a balance in this. I don’t want to come across as things are never his fault- b/c that’s not true. Just trying to share that it’s not always “the bad kid’s” fault.
I wish I could tell you that I relate. But I so get that guilt. Im keeping you in my prayers, my friend!!
Jessica recently posted..Why I Love Being a Mama
Thank you! xo
Thinking of you and Bear, and giving virtual hugs.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..The Sofa
Thank you, Alison!
Awww, his poor little face! I hear you. It’s not fair, and it can take a few years to figure out that balance. For yourself, in social situations, and to know what to advocate for in school. Because the truth is, not everything has to do with delays or disorders. There is a bias–but with education and advocacy, it can be lessened.
Danielle recently posted..Help me out, yo
That’s it, exactly. It’s not always about delays/disorders. Some things just happen.
He is such a cute little guy, how could anyone think he is a troublemaker?
Sandy
momof12 recently posted..Message Received
Oh, believe me. He definitely has his moments! They just aren’t quite as often as he’s accused of.
Every child deserves to be able to be a kid and make mistakes. It is heart wrenching to think that some aren’t given that benefit.
Aramelle {One Wheeler’s World} recently posted..Let Me Dream Inside
I just wish that he could be given that every once in a while.
All kids should be able to make mistakes and to just be a kid. It’s so hard to quiet that mama bear in us. Sending you and Bear hugs!
Kimberly recently posted..Do We Have Time?
Exactly. Sometimes, he really does do something that needs correction. But it just hurts that he’s never given that chance to make an honest mistake.
His little face! I’m so sorry Mama, that this is always going to be the issue. Hopefully things will get better as he gets older.
Tracy
Tracy Wilson recently posted..The Gift
I hope so. Right now, he doesn’t even know how to speak up and defend himself.
I work with little ones like your Bear who are struggling a little to conform with the structure of the classroom life and it always breaks my heart to see them get blamed for something they did not cause or something they did not instigate.
Often they don’t have the words or the instincts to defend themselves when blamed for something. They simply accept and it breaks my heart. And often teachers are too sensitive. I find myself cautioning them – it is just typical 5 year old behavior – just because this child does it doesn’t make it any different.
Oh your Bear’s face. Luckily he has you in his corner.
He really doesn’t know what to say in these situations.
This past fall, he was sent home for hitting a little girl.
Once we got home, he showed me the STILL BLEEDING scratches across his belly. The little girl had clawed him- you could see that she’d done it with all her fingers and hard b/c the scratches were bleeding and so gross. But, no one at the school knew that happened. Now, I’m not saying it was okay for him to hit her after that happened, but to send him home and have nothing happen to her? and not to even try to find out the rest of the story? I was furious.
That is quite a big bump, and looks questionable to me! I know how you feel when both end of the spectrum isn’t equal..
Raw Thoughts And Feelings recently posted..She Prays
I believe completely that it was an accident. I just wish that had the situation been reversed, he would get the same benefit of the doubt.
Sending a huge hug your way!
Victoria KP recently posted..The Second Inning
Thank you.
A nice reminder that we should give every child the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions.
Finding My New Normal recently posted..We’re All In
Thank you!!
I love how you think about both sides. Oh my mama heart. xo
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..Because I’m Not Busy
It makes my head spin.
Oh, poor Bear. It is a nice reminder that we need to not jump to conclusions. I hope he gets better soon.
Leigh Powell Hines (@Hinessightblog) recently posted..Proud as Peacocks: Why I Support the Arts in Schools
His eye is healing nicely.
You are so right. I learned about this when my son had a few issues after his sister was born. And it’s so frustrating and unfair.
Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..Take Your Time
So unfair. I know life isn’t fair… but we want it to be for our kids.
It does hurt a Mama to know that our child is treated different in these situations. My son with AS has been handled differently than other students more times than I can count. Most of the time, it was of no benefit to him either.
I have noticed it doesn’t take much for a child to be singled out and treated differently by adults. My 11 year old, 5th grader(who is the size of juniors at our high school) is quickly singled out based on size alone. His size, not his age, should make him act more responsible than any other child his age. His size, not his age, makes him the first to be blamed in any confrontation.
Oka recently posted..PYHO:Lost
That’s so frustrating. Even if he’s bigger, he’s still the same age!
It can be so easy to see things differently with different children and you are so right about it not being fair.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..True Meaning of Easter Rocks
Not fair at all.
You are right. Exactly right and I don’t have any words of wisdom. The only thing I can offer is that if I have a student with a behavior plan and mistakenly assume that child was at fault and it turns out to be an accident, and the child knows it, that child, no matter what the age get an honest, look ‘em in the eye, apology from me. That’s the best I can offer.
Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Cutting Myself Some Slack
You’re a good person for being able to do that. Many adults wouldn’t.
Aww. I never would have thought about it that way, but it’s because I don’t HAVE to. I’m sorry you’re faced with that, and even have to consider things like that. It’s so not fair.
Kmama recently posted..Progress
I wish I didn’t have to think about things like this.
aw, poor guy! Kids definitely end up with labels at school, and I’m so sorry for this
I know that you will be a good advocate should the need arise.
jenn @ so this is love recently posted..On wearing yoga pants.
I am definitely willing to fight for him.
Just looking at his little black eye…makes my mommy heart hurt. He’s lucky that he has such a strong mom that will look out for his well being though!
Jenny recently posted..making a move and pouring it out
Thank you. Sometimes, it gets overwhelming to have to fight all the time.
Aw, poor guy! I’m sorry this incident brought up those feelings of knowing that sometimes he will get blamed for childhood accidents, and unfortunately there may even be times he gets blamed for starting a confrontation when really he was the one reacting/retaliating. He’s lucky to have you in his corner. Hugs Shell (and Bear!)
angela recently posted..Welcoming Our Niece
It’s happened before that he was blamed when he was retaliating. And not that retaliation is okay, but he was sent home and the other child got nothing at all- b/c the school didn’t realize that the girl he hit had clawed his stomach so bad it was still bleeding when we got home. That was at his old school, not this one.
Awww poor little guy! That kid must of have a really hard head! I hope he’s doing ok.
Natalie recently posted..More Than Halfway There!
He was really okay with it- he’s a tough kid. He didn’t like looking at it, though. He said it made him not handsome any more.
Oh girl. you are so right. You are. When someone with a behavior plan ends up in a situation – they usually just aren’t given the benefit of the doubt. I honestly believe you could make a huge difference because most parents don’t have a platform to help others see how unjust this is. I love your honesty. xo, friend
Kristen recently posted..Outtakes
It’s not always his fault- that’s all I want people to see. Not that he’s never at fault- b/c I’m not delusional- but I think any always/never statements need looked at.
This hurts my heart when children aren’t given the benefit of the doubt. What I love about your posts is that you are able to show both sides in such an incredible, non-overbearing way. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Guilty Pleasures
All kids should be given the benefit of the doubt sometimes.
Gotta say it hurts my heart too. It just doesn’t seem fair.
dysfunctional mom recently posted..By the Grace of God…..
It really isn’t. I wish I could fix it for him.
Oh, I feel your pain! Once your child is labeled a “problem”, it is near impossible for he or she to overcome that sitgma. This happened to us, but then we were lucky enough to get a teacher who started off our daughter on a clean slate and loved her and gave her the benefit of the doubt. And everything turned around and has been great since. And this was 4 years ago. Hang in there!!
Jennifer recently posted..Separation Anxiety Attack
Thankfully, his teacher right now is pretty good at this. We’ve had really bad experiences in the past, though.
Ugh. The implications of this are breathtaking. My chest hurts.
Maggie S. recently posted..New Season of Life; Handling Blessing
When I think about it too much, I truly can’t breathe.
Same thing happened to my child 2 weeks ago – not that bad, but I did get a call from the school. The week after, he accidentally kicked a ball in another kid’s face … much like the first accident that happened a week before. He was so upset, and started to cry hoping that he wasn’t viewed as “the bad kid” at school. It hurts my mama heart, too. chin up!
Somethings are just accidents.
Poor Bear. And poor Mama bear. Thinking of both of you.
Cindi recently posted..A new beginning
Thanks, Cindi!
Oh Shell. I actually know this feeling of wondering what it’s like when it happens to someone else and how it’s dealt with when it’s your own children. I wonder and worry too…as most moms do, but my heart hurts for you to have to think about the way you need to.
Is Bear’s eye much better today? His little face is making me tear up. I am thinking of you and going to share this on my Facebook page if that is ok.
xooxo
Kirsten recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Bunny Boys Color the Eggs
Of course- it’s always okay to share my stuff. xo
It’s been almost a week since he got that shiner and it’s much better now.
I can only imagine how you feel in this situation. The casual manner in which the TA addressed this situation probably did not help, because while it may not have been a big deal in that moment, to you it is, as it appears to Bear and his eye. Poor thing!
Jackie recently posted..Ridiculously Out of Control
I was okay with the explanation- I just cringed thinking how different it would be if the situation had been reversed.
I don’t know where my comments are going.
But my heart is hurting just looking at Bear’s little face and I’m hoping that his eye is much much better today.
As a mom, I worry too, not the way you are forced to and that makes me ache inside because our children should be treated equally, but in a way that forces me to keep you and Bear in mind when I worry. I promise to do that, to treat all the kids equally in my judgement. Thinking of you (I’d like to share this one my Facebook page, is that ok? )
xoxoxo
Hmmm… maybe it was just taking a minute to show up, b/c I saw your first one. Thank you, my sweet friend, for taking the time to be sure I saw your comment. xo
Poor guy! I hope his eye feels better soon!
And I can only imagine how you feel. It makes me sad for you!
Brandi recently posted..D is for
He’s doing much better now.
Poor little guy. As the mom of a bipolar I know that feeling all too well. My oldest was homebound schooled for a time because they didn’t want to deal with his requirements, so rather then do their job they chose to have him home all day and teach him 2x a week for an hour there. 3 years in a row. Then when he HAD to have off for 6 weeks due to knee surgery then they wanted to complain because he had been home bounded so often. It isn’t fair at all. As the adults we are supposed to have better sense then to automatically assume.
We’re supposed to- but a lot of adults don’t have that sense.
Oh poor guy! And I know what you mean about wondering whether your child is being treated differently. I have a “spirited” little guy who has already come home upset because he says he always gets blamed at school when something goes wrong. On the bright side, those black-eye photos are great material to show them when they get older and can laugh about it.
Jennifer – Treading Water in the Kiddie Pool recently posted..Are We There Yet?
It’s so frustrating when our kids become seen as the class troublemaker.
Kids, even kids who have had issues, should be given the benefit of the doubt. Heck, accidents happen, and if no one saw what happened, what good does analyzing things to death do?
Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..We All Knew Summer in March Couldn’t Last
Exactly.
I would like to think he would be given the same respect. Z has a little girl in her class who has “issues” and no one in the class is quick to point fingers at her and I know I don’t either. Hope his eye heals quickly !!
We’ve had it happen with him before. Not at this school, but at his last.
My oldest has this same problem, my mom calls it being at the wrong place at the wrong time and somehow he is blamed for everything even if it’s innocent!
I hope his eye is better!
Erin recently posted..My Memories
It’s gotten a lot better in the past week!
Its funny because my perspective on this is so different. In all my years of coaching, summer camps, etc I still remember the kids who were different. Maybe more difficult, always in trouble, or just a handful. Not because they were the ones that needed more work but because they were the ones who also were usually the happiest and most fun to work with. I never overanalyzed them – i just figured all kids are different!
Diana recently posted..PYHO – Self Appraisal
That is an amazing attitude to have!
I adored those kids, too, when I was teaching.
I can so relate. My son was/is constantly in trouble, since he was a toddler. There were times 4 boys including my son would be doing the same thing, and only Josh would be singled out. We even fell into the pattern for a while. One time after my son accidentally hit another kid with a baseball and he was so upset, I said, “You are not always the bad guy.” and he replied, “Mom I am always the bad guy.” Those words haunt me, but also remind me that it is our job as parents to remind them they are not always wrong, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks. Our kids need to know at least their parents have faith in them. It sounds like you are doing a great job of instilling that message!
Created In His Image recently posted..The Impact of Autism
I saw something like that at his last school- a group of boys were running around and had been for several minutes. No one said a thing to them. But when my Bear joined in, the teacher yelled at him and only him that he had to stop running. WTH???
I gasped when I saw the photo. That had to be one huge collision of heads!
I hate that you have those worries, that you have that thought always in the back of your mind, that you know with your child and his issues, that fingers will be readily pointed his way. I’m sorry. If I could bequeath this world one thing, it would be tolerance. Tolerance for those different from the norm. Tolerance to know that everyone has a story and we should all take that moment to listen instead of passing out instant judgements.
I hope that sweet boy got some ice cream after that shiner.
joann mannix recently posted..Bullies—A Personal Account
He did indeed get ice cream.
I really wish everyone could have more tolerance. It would make the world a much kinder place.
*sigh* Sometimes I wonder if the teachers & ta’s stop to consider how they would handle the situation if it was THEIR child. I agree with you – Bear is a kindergartner, not a delinquent. Even if his behavior was a part of the situation, he still deserves to be treated (and disciplined) like every other kid.
And seriously, poor Bear. That is one heck of a shiner.
Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] recently posted..Stuck
Thankfully, his teacher at his new school is pretty fair minded. But we’ve dealt with this in the past and I don’t know if that worry will ever go away.
This just totally makes my heart hurt. And I can say with 100% certainty that I view situations that happen in the unique classroom that I spend the majority of my day in from a more “home” like perspective. I wonder how you would have handled what happens. I look at those who don’t hold the bar high enough doing a disservice to the children because its the ‘easier’ path and I wonder what you would do differently.
Ducky recently posted..12 Things I Want My Daughter To Know
Having that home perspective helps.
I think the bar needs to be high for all kids. And sometimes my son truly does things wrong- but it just bothers me that it’s always his fault.
Yes. Thank you so much for giving me both sides. It’s hard to see beyond what is happening to your OWN child.
Kimberly recently posted..Swing
I know it’s hard to see beyond our own kids sometimes.
Yes exactly what you just said. My son has some behavior issues and I feel exactly this way. Recently while at home on his personal email, he wrote another child in his school (1st grade) an email telling him he was jealous of something the child did. He put “You are so getting killed on the playground” and then put a silly face with a tongue hanging out after it. He also said “Curse you (insert childs name)” which he gets from Phineas and Ferb. My son had zero intent to kill this child, he was being silly and what he meant was “When we play war on the playground you are going to be dead first”. However the school got all “Columbine” about it. It was personal email not even sent through school. It made me so upset. I feel if another child did this they wouldn’t have even worried about it.
Lee
Lee recently posted..Silk Fruit&Protein Review Plus Giveaway
Oh, that is so heartbreaking!
Yes, unfortunately some children will not get the benefit of the doubt. Just like some kids will get more than the benefit of the doubt and it is automatically everyone else’s fault.
I am glad it was viewed as just an accident and no strife was caused by the situation.
It’s so frustrating. I doubt it will ever change.
ouch…it hurts my heart and I’m not even his mama! that is one super shiner! poor Bear. just givin ya hugs kiddo.
RoryBore recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Can I Buy a "Zzzzz?"
Thank you! Thankfully, he really wasn’t bothered by his shiner.
100% agree with both sides. You want a behavior plan in place so that he can work to his best possible abilities in school. But you also want (and he deserves) the benefit of the doubt. All kids do – no matter what.
Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..60 Minutes on Sugar and Why I’ll Keep Trying
Yes, exactly.
Bumps and bruises and accidents happen. But when giving The Girl a bath one time and she had a bit mark on her shoulder blade? That’s a little different. And something that still gets me trying to understand it.
Joshua recently posted..A-to-Z Challenge: D
No, that’s not okay at all.
But neither were the bleeding scratches on my son’s stomach a few months ago- and yet HE was the one sent home b/c he hit the girl who did that to him. And trust me, I don’t think it was okay for him to hit her- but it definitely wasn’t okay for her to scratch him- and if he had to go home, so should she have.
Poor kiddo! Your post is a good reminder to caregivers and other parents to check some assumptions when dealing with conflict and accidents between kids; a thoughtful post!
Pamela recently posted..New Life Art Projects
Thank you!
I’m not asking for him to get the benefit of the doubt in every situation, but in some, it would be nice.
Yes, it is just like if you think someone is the black sheep or you don’t like someone- it is so easy to see the negative and bad side when really we are all just doing our best and all do just mess up sometimes.
Poor little guy
Emmy recently posted..I Believe
that’s it, exactly. No one is “bad” all the time.
Aw Shell, I know what you mean. My poor brother was one of those kids that never caught a break and I have a big, aggressive kid myself so I worry. I think you need to keep a hawk eye out and always be his advocate bc if he has been singled out, it may be tough for him until he comes into his own. What about trying to find a teacher/TA that will act as a mentor to him?
Glamamom recently posted..Denim | Day to Night {Sponsored}
Thankfully, his current teacher is amazing with him and is working with him on all this. We’ve had bad experiences in the past, though.
Ugh, yes. I taught dozens of kids with behavior plans, and unfortunately I taught under an administration that had a very old hand when it came to “kids like that”. There were never two sides to the story, no matter what, it was always the “bad kid’s fault”. My heart broke for those kids, because even when someone pushed them, or if an honest-to-goodness accident did happen, they weren’t treated fairly.
It’s such a fine line, but your little guy is lucky to have you as an advocate.
Angie recently posted..March Resolution Roundup
It’s so frustrating- b/c it isn’t always those kids’ fault. Sometimes- oh, absolutely. But not always.
I know how you feel. My youngest struggles with impulse control and it doesn’t help that he is a foot and a half taller than everyone his age. There are kids in his class that only come up to his chest level. He never gets the benefit of the doubt, and it’s sad.
Someone else commented about their child’s size, too. It’s not fair.
OUCH! His poor eye. It looks so painful. Did he relate the story to you? I’d make sure I know all the details from him. You’re a re great mom Shell.
Sela Toki recently posted..Zumba
He didn’t say much about it- he doesn’t usually. I’m sure it was an accident. I just want him to be given that same benefit of the doubt.
So sorry that Bear was on the receiving end of a black eye. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with the questions that can come if it the coin was flipped and it was the other child injured. It shouldn’t be that way.
Big hugs to Bear.
Tiffany recently posted..WW: Hotel Hell
It shouldn’t be, at all.
Thank you!
That’s so damned familiar to me. My son is NOT the only kid in his class with behavior problems. He’s just the only one with proactive parents. And it seems like BECAUSE the other parents don’t work with the school, he gets more than his fair share of blame. They don’t want to deal with the asshole parents, so they make my son suffer more. WTF??? I can’t wait to get him out of this school. Seriously – I want to write a pour their heart out for you about the situaiton, but if your queue is full through the end of May, I’ll just hold off and put it on my blog, because by then he’ll be OUTTA THERE and it won’t be something I can’t talk about in my own space anymore.
Jessie Powell recently posted..The brain is down
Thanks for helping me (us) see the other side. It is easy to forget.
Carolyn recently posted..5 Days I’d Like To Do Over
I understand that. I wish I never had to see this side.
I’m not sure I have ever thought of this subject in these exact terms; and you are absolutely right.
Although I’m quick to suspect my son has been “up to no good” I almost always give my daughter a pass. And as you said, sometimes it’s justifiable. But other times…
It really is just an accident.
I can’t imagine how much more complicated the issue grows in your son’s situation. People are already so quick to jump to conclusions (as I just admitted myself).
He is lucky to have you as an advocate; this I know for sure.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me large
Thank you. I just wish I didn’t have to fight so hard.
His little bruised face makes me want to scoop him up and smooch him! My lil kiss is the one who’s typically ‘busted up’ bruises and scrapes galore. and while we don’t have the ‘struggles’ bear has – my kids are completely different in that big kiss was typically involved in unfortunate kid accidents – whereas lil kiss is usually causing them
keep being the best momma you can be. love to you.
My Bear has plenty of moments when he is the one starting something- but it’s not always. Just like I”m sure it’s not always your little kiss who is to blame.
Poor kid!! It sounds like the deck will always be stacked against him.
Kristina P. recently posted..Blog Eat Blog
I hope things can change.
Right…sometimes and accident is just an accident. Hopefully his teachers/TAs can keep their minds open enough to see incidents for what they really are.
Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 recently posted..Some Mornings…
I hope so. We’ve had some bad experiences in the past with this sort of thing.
wow…that’s quite the shiner!
and I bet you’re absolutely right, if another kid ended up with the black eye it would have been a big to do…I see stuff like this all the time in my various special needs groups…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..How Good Field Trips Go Bad
It’s so frustrating.
I’m well aware that sometimes, it really is his fault. But always? No.
Ouch, poor Bear
I hope his eye has healed and isn’t too painful. Before we took D out of preschool, I remember being thrilled at the report from his teacher that he had been hit by another child b/c we usually received a report on how many children he had hit. I then started to wonder whether they immediately suggested the other child be evaluated like they had D. Your post is an excellent reminder to try our hardest not to label, judge or rush to conclusions when something happens.
KeAnne recently posted..Of Pharaohs and Sphinxes
When the school called about this, I have to admit that even I was holding my breath, waiting to hear what they had to say. When they got to the part about an accident and I realized they weren’t calling me to report some bad behavior, I actually started laughing.
I know exactly how you feel. My youngest has been under a lot more scrutiny in High School then she should be, because she had some trouble her first couple years. It’s hard to get out from under that perception.
Amethyst Moon recently posted..Old School Fun Chick-fil-A Giveaway
It’s near impossible. It shouldn’t be like that, though.
Oh my look at that shiner. Poor guy. And I think you are right, had it been the other way around, things probably would have been very different. It’s not fair.
Lourie recently posted..It’s Not DWTS…
Not fair at all. His eye looks better at least.
Ouch! Poor pumpkin! I just hate when my kids are hurt. I feel my heart break everytime. Wishing him a speedy recovery!
Paula @ Simply Sandwich recently posted..Just Three Little Words
He’s already doing much better. Almost healed.
Poor thing. Unfortunately, I think you’re right. It would have been analyzed, and that sucks! I’m glad everything was ok, and you gave the other child the same grace you ask of others for your son. You rock!
Adrienne recently posted..When I can’t say everything I want to.
I hadn’t thought of it like that. About showing grace. I guess I just think that’s what should be done.
I totally get this. We have a behavior plan in place. And something similar happened this week. This is the stuff that makes it so tough for us. Hope his eye heals quickly.
((HUGS))
Lisa ~ AutismWonderland recently posted..3 Things I’d Like You to Know About Autism
I know you get this. It’s so frustrating.
Sometimes I wonder If we live the same life in different places. *hug* I get it
annemarie (@YLMBreadless) recently posted..Don’t Say It
At least we have our online friends who understand. xo
i agree with you and if the right kind of teachers are there to educate and guide then he should be treated like any other child
His teacher right now is actually really good- we just had bad experiences in the past.
I’m sorry. It does seem there’s a double standard when it comes to kids with behavior plans and IEP’s. Both my mom and my husband work in education, so I hear about this type of thing a lot. It’s unfair.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..The Road to One and Done
It’s so frustrating. I saw it a lot when I was teaching, too- though I tried my hardest not to be part of the problem.
Hugs. It does hurt a mama’s heart at times. Sorry about the black eye.
Cheryl D. recently posted..Tempting Treats
Thanks, Cheryl. xo
I wish that “benefit of the doubt” was instant instinct with us, instead of “blame.” The world would be such a different place.
And bless his heart, that’s quite a shiner!
A kinder place.
What a shiner! I’m sorry that people offer up such analysis of even the tiniest little things.
Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Life Just Works
It’s been so frustrating. It just makes things even harder.
WHOA. That’s a shiner. I hate seeing kids hurt. Period.
angie recently posted..Breaking the Cycle: Creating a Better and Smarter Planet
It actually got worse. Poor thing. Though it’s better now.
Aw…poor little guy. Hugs to both of you.. xoxo
Cheryl @ Mommypants recently posted..Green-eyed…monster?
Thanks, Cheryl. xo
This hurts my heart and I understand. I have a child who has some behavioral issues and he always seems to get blamed, sadly even when he and his brother get into a squabble I immediately look at him! You are a good advocate for your son and there are ALWAYS two sides to every story. I hope his eye heals real soon. His little face looks so sad!
Kaitlynn recently posted..Dark Cloak
He’s doing better now.
Aw, poor baby. That hurts my mama heart too.
Runnermom-jen recently posted..The Cake
Thanks for understanding. xo
It should never be about what he’s done previously or what’s happened before. He should be able to just be a kid like everyone else without having to be questioned and analyzed to death for every little thing. It drives me crazy when you have to deal with these things like this because he IS just a little boy NOT a diagnosis or behavior. He is adorable, even with a black eye haha.
stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..BabyLegs {review & giveaway}
Awww, poor little Bear
That is quite the shiner. Sending him swift healing vibes. And I agree… it’s not fair that the actions of two children can have such different outcomes. I’m sorry to hear this. I love how much of an advocate you are for your sweet little boy, Shell. You’re a special mamma cub, my friend.
Happy Easter to you and yours. Please forgive me for falling off the face of the planet for awhile there. Won’t happen again, I’ve missed you terribly. XOXO
Charlotte recently posted..ready
Kids should be allowed to make mistakes and have accidents. It’s part of growing up.
Jessica recently posted..Spring Break, Family Time, and Martinis FTW
I know this feeling all to well, so I know EXACTLY how your heart feels, it honestly just aches. My son is almost four and my boyfriends son is almost four, we have them all the time (primary custody). My son has some behavioral problems and some delayed speech and he communicates sometimes by screaming when he is being hurt. I hate hate hate that he seems to be in trouble the most because when his son (who I honestly feel ‘bullies’ him) hurts him he screams. It is said that my son does the same thing but his son handles it like a boy and doesn’t scream and or cry so his hurts go unnoticed…. okay.
it is a hard road.
Tara recently posted..Posty post post