Pour Your Heart Out: There are Two of Us

There are two of me in this town.

Well, not really two of me exactly, but two people who share the same first and last name.

That’s what happens when your bil marries a girl who shares the same first name as you.

But, I’m the OLD one.

To her, it must seem like I’m ancient since I’m old enough to be her mama.

I would have had to be a really young mama, but it’s still possible that I could be her mama.

I’m not the one who is newly married, I’m the one who has been married for almost 10 years.

I’m not the one who is pregnant with her first baby, I’m the one with three growing boys. Even though some people heard she was pregnant and thought I was pregnant with my fourth. This baby shop is closed. 

I’m not the one with my 20s still in front of me, I’m the one who is aging gracefully towards her 40s.

As much as I sometimes look back on my carefree 20s with longing, I wouldn’t want to go back. I might want to go back to the body I had back then, but I wouldn’t want much else from that time of growing up.

As much as there’s something special and romantic about being a newlywed, that adjustment period is also pretty hard. Hubs and I have found our stride and have a strong marriage.

And as much as I love holding a new baby, I’m so ready to move on from that stage. I still want to babysit, but I want to give the baby back and be able to get some sleep at night. 

So, even though there are two of us, I’m perfectly okay being the old one.

Are you content with the stage of life you are in? Or are you constantly looking back or ahead? 

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  1. says

    I am definitely happy in the stage of life I am in…if anything I am excited about moving a little more past the baby and toddler area of life. I am so with you on not wanting to go back to those challenging first few years of marriage. They are exciting, but can be so painful to figure out how to work together. I definitely don’t want to be having my first baby! For now, I am blissful where I am.
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..Have You Ever Been Kicked Out Of A Swim Lesson? I’m Asking For A Friend – PYHOMy Profile

  2. says

    There are two of me, too! My brother married an Emily two years ago… Although, I’ll be getting married in a few months and then there will only be one. Oh, and I’m the younger one. But, not crazy young. I just turned 30. Yikes! But, I definitely agree… I wouldn’t go back and do it again. I’m happy where I am in life! Thanks for sharing, Shell #1. :)

  3. says

    Oh yes, I am so happy with the stage of life I am in right now. No more babies for me. I’m glad I’m not in my 20’s anymore, I am much more secure with who I am now that I’m on the downward slide to 40. I like my life. I’m content and I’m happy. It’s an amazing feeling! Great post Shell.
    Delilah recently posted..So What?My Profile

  4. says

    I actually wish I was a bit older, which is probably weird to most. But being a young mom– I get a LOT of judgements. It doesnt help that Im in my mid-20s and look like Im 15. So glad there is only one ME in my town, at least. :)
    Jessica recently posted..Toddler Turned ManiacMy Profile

  5. says

    I cannot imagine having someone else in the same town with my same name. Lord one of me is enough. Would I go back, probably not. There are days that I wish some things had not happened but then I would not be who I am today. There are times I would change the last 4 years with mom. Done more things, spent more time with her, lived more with her. But I can’t do that either. Perhaps then her loss would be much harder for me to take and there are days that I don’t think I can take it now.
    Angel recently posted..Why I will always be a small town girlMy Profile

    • Shell says

      There are definitely some regrets… it would get harder after losing someone, I’m sure. xo 

  6. says

    For the most part, I am content with who I am, although there is that one glaring area where I have issues and Oh Look… another blog post about that today! :-) I will be 36 this summer and I won’t lie, the idea of flipping over the the “closer to 40 than 30″ side has me a little freaked out, but I’m a lot more comfortable in my skin right now than I was in my 20s… course my skin is 10 pounds thinner than it was this time last year, so that helps! :-)
    Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..PYHO: The One About the BoysMy Profile

    • Shell says

      Yay for weight loss! 

      I’ll be 35 this summer. And it’s hard to believe sometimes. Didn’t I just graduate college?

  7. says

    I am definitely more comfortable now than in my 20’s. Of course like you I wouldn’t mind having my body from my 20’s back (totally didn’t appreciate it then). And no way would I go back to the Newlywed stage I am looking forward now to the time in our life when the children are grown and we can enjoy time as a couple and it will be so much better than the newlywed stage!

  8. says

    While I’m more comfortable in my skin as a 30something, I’d much wish there was less of it right now!
    I couldn’t help but think of the TV show the New Adventures of the Old Christine with this post! Lucky you’re not the ex-wife wit the same first name!
    Jackie recently posted..GoneMy Profile

    • Shell says

      We joke about that with Old Christine.  For now, people just use our husbands’ names when referring to us. 

  9. says

    Like others I would also take my pre-kid body back, but I’m definitely more comfortable with myself now. I’m content and happy where I am at in life. Although I occasionally look forward to a less exhausting stage of life (does that exist?) or wish we had that fourth baby, I wouldn’t go back to that time. A little scary though, I’m 37, my oldest is 12, my youngest is almost 9, sometimes I wonder how I got here with all these people calling me Mom.
    Created In His Image recently posted..A Day In Our LifeMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I’m hoping there’s a less exhausting stage coming, but not sure when that would be! 

  10. says

    Ha, you will laugh when you see my post today because I’m on the same page as you – happy with the stage I’m at and looking forward to the next one rather than back at the one I just left!
    Jessica@Team Rasler recently posted..ConfessionMy Profile

  11. says

    I feel like it’s taken quite a while but I do finally look forward more than I look back. The other day I overheard a twenty-something talking with her friends. She was explaining why they hadn’t seen her the day before by saying, “Sorry, I basically slept all day.” And for the first time, I wasn’t envious of her ability to sleep all day. I was excited that I have so much to be awake for all day! (though sleeping all morning would still be nice :) )
    Tricia recently posted..BarkingMy Profile

    • Shell says

      Getting a little extra sleep would be nice, but I’m happy to be past that stage of my life.

  12. says

    Hmmm… I am happy with myself – but unhappy with my ‘in your’r 30’s body… and the stress eating that goes with it.’ Hubs and I have only been married for 6 years, so sometimes it feels like we are still in the newly wed stage: only because we continue to have big life changes.  Short answer: yes. Long answer: sort of. 
    Kristen recently posted..Sometimes Support Groups SuckMy Profile

    • Shell says

      My gut reaction to finding out they were getting married *may* have been WHAT? No way! I don’t want there to be two of us!

  13. says

    I’m fairly content.  There’s not much that I want that’s behind me…except for maybe some friendships that were lost.  I do, however, look forward a lot.  I imagine what life will be like in 5, 10, 20 years.  I’ve always done that.
    Kmama recently posted..Peek-a-Boo, The BunnyMy Profile

  14. says

    Totally content! I would not go back for anything. I feel like I’ve finally let go of so many insecurities and hubs and I have found our rythym too. We went through a rough patch a couple of years ago, and God pulled us through it. I’m certain we still have lots to learn, but I’m content and I like it! It would nice if I had a handbook in raising these boys, but other than that…
    Adrienne recently posted..It’s hard having a teenager.My Profile

    • Shell says

      I think so many go through a rough spot in early years of marriage- not something I ever want to go back to!

  15. says

    I guess I could go back to my 20’s if only I was able to keep full knowledge of my current life.  It would help me to make some better choices.

    Other than that I am content with being old.
    Oka recently posted..PYHO: Go CelticsMy Profile

  16. says

    I can totally relate. My two SILs are both 5 years younger than me and I always feel like the “old” one. At the same time I really think that I have hit my stride in my 30s and that they are the best decade so far. In fact, there was a recent study showing that age 33 is the age when most people are their happiest (I recently blogged about it). I also don’t think that my younger self could have handled the things that my current self is able to handle – also blogged about this one :-)
    Christie recently posted..Simple prayer. Profound meditation.My Profile

    • Shell says

      Oh, that’s so funny- I had decided I wasn’t having any birthdays after age 33. LOL

    • Shell says

      We were stuck in the baby stage for so long b/c all of my boys are close in age that I was thrilled to move past it!

  17. says

    You know… I really AM content with the stage of life I am in.  Sure, there are some serious ups and downs right now (my husband was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder), but as far as the stage, I’m pleased.  I’m ready to be raising two preteen girls and moving past the time of young children.  I am pleased with my job and where my career is going.  I am definitely in a marriage that is stronger than it has ever been.  I couldn’t ask for much more out of life right now.  I’m excited about the future, but I’m not ready to push it.
    Karen recently posted..I Hate the Word "Crazy"My Profile

  18. Kim says

    Oh, I wouldn’t go back to my 20s at all. I finally have the confidence I wish I had back then (and in my teens).
    Oh, you are not old. Not even close. You are just older than her. But she is just a baby. 😉

    • Shell says

      She is a baby. I cannot imagine being married with a baby on the way back when I was her age. My biggest worry back then was if someone was going to ask me to one of the Frat Spring Formals and what I’d wear.

    • Shell says

      I think that’s where my attitude is coming from. Looking back on younger days and realizing everything good that I took for granted. I don’t want to look back at this age and realize I did the same thing.

  19. says

    I miss my ability to stay up late and still survive on four hours sleep. That was one plus to being in my twenties! But I wouldn’t go back for anything else, I like the stage of life I’m in right now. :)
    Tiffany recently posted..PYHO: Home in HeavenMy Profile

  20. Angie says

    I love the stage we are at! But… Did not like reading that gracefully towards 40 – gasp!!!

  21. says

    I’m going to be 40 this year and there are times when I find myself looking back at where I’ve been and the things that I’ve done. I often wonder why I didn’t travel more or do this or that, but I think that I’m in a really good place right now and I’m happy with that. That’s what really matters.
    Jackie recently posted..Wordful Wednesday ~ Bit by the theatre bug!My Profile

    • Shell says

      I sometimes regret the things I didn’t get around to doing before kids, but still- I’m happy with where I am.

  22. says

    I never want to be a 20-something again. I’ll be 39 at the end of June and I’m very happy being my age. Sure, I enjoyed my 20s while I was in them, but I am much more secure in myself, my marriage, and my life now — there’s no comparison!
    IASoupMama recently posted..Happy Birthday, Baby Girls!My Profile

  23. says

    Ha! Two Shells at different stages :)

    I think I’m pretty content with where I am right now. The only thing in question is whether we’re really done having babies yet??? Only time will tell I guess! But I would not want to go back to my twenties.
    molly recently posted..The Story of my DiagnosisMy Profile

    • Shell says

      Oh yes, I definitely have regrets. But am at a stage where I don’t dwell on them. :) 

    • Shell says

      It is! You should have seen her baby shower invite- you could easily think it was mine!

  24. says

    It gets confusing when there are two of you.  My husband had the same name as his father but they had a different middle name.  We got bills and credit issues for that reason but also because their social security numbers were the same except for the middle two numbers.  He would get life insurance quotes when he was in his late 20’s because his dad was in his 50’s.

    I’m glad you are happy with the stage of life that you are in.  It’s a wonderful place to be.
    Tami recently posted..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

    • Shell says

      It does get confusing!

      My oldest is a junior, but he and my husband go by different nicknames at least.

    • Shell says

      It is confusing!

      Definitely content. Not a perfect life by any stretch, but I’m happy.

  25. says

    I did most of my growing from 14-22 and even though I’m only 27 and have grown a lot from 23-27 as far as motherhood type things, you couldn’t pay me to go back to those rough emotional years.  We were just talking about that earlier…not interested!
    stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..Pregnant BeastMy Profile

    • Shell says

      It seems like that’s a time of life to try to figure things out… even though we pretty much know nothing! LOL

  26. says

    I’ll be 30 this November and I’m perfectly ok with it. I don’t want to be a newlywed anymore. I’m glad I haven’t moved in 3 years after moving pretty much every year since I started college. I like getting to sleep a little again. And I’m looking forward to the future too.
    Diana recently posted..Finally – A Little Bit of LifeMy Profile

    • Shell says

      There are definitely things I’d like to change, but for the most part- I’ll take this stage of life!

  27. says

    That would get confusing at times. I have a brother Aaron, and my sister married an Aaron– but different last names so that helps, but still sometimes confusing in family conversations.

    I think I am pretty happy with where I am- I definitely don’t want to go back to highschool or even my first years of marriage- and I don’t have teens yet- so yea maybe I want to stay just right here.
    Emmy recently posted..Party Like It’s a Blog PartyMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I dated someone with the same name as my younger brother. It was confusing. I said “My” and then “Brother” in fron of their names to tell them apart when I was talking about them!

  28. says

    I don’t want to go back to my premommy days (unless of course you’re talking about my body because I’d take my prebaby body back in a heartbeat!) for anything. I don’t miss going to bars and doing all those things. And I’ll take my sleep over the babystage too. I love that my kids are almost out of diapers and that we are moving into the preschool stage. I like each new stage better than the last. I wonder what stage that will end?
    Twingle Mommy recently posted..Which Way Is It-Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff or Enjoy the Small Moments?My Profile

  29. says

    with an unusual name like mine I thought what are the chances and you know they exist because i found my double on pinterest!

    • Shell says

      My first reaction when I found out bil was marrying her was OMG, there will be two of us here!

  30. says

    Parts of my body are better! (fine maybe not, but I am tired enough to believe that’s true some days.) I’m pretty happy in my skin right now, in terms of stage of life. I would be just a smidge happier if someone could potty train my son…
    angela recently posted..What I Learned in Astonomy ClassMy Profile

  31. says

    I was just thinking today about how good things are in this season of marriage. I might blog about it soon. I remember about this time a year ago we were going through a rough patch and now?  Things are great!

    • Shell says

      Blog post!!! :) 

      I think we all go through ups and downs. Thankfully, it’s a been a while since Hubs and I have had a really rough patch.

  32. says

    I’m pretty content for the most part.  And I’m with you…the only thing I truly want back from my 20s is my body.  And though I’m happy to be out of the diaper stage, I always say if I was 10-yrs younger, I’d have a couple more kids.  Of course I can say that because I’m 10 years older.  Older and wiser (hopefully!)
    Jill @ Mommy Inconsistent recently posted..Sliding DoorsMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I think I’d say that same thing… but at this age, I’m ready to be done with newborns!

  33. says

    the only thing that would make me go back to the past is getting my almost skinny body back. That’s it. LOL. Other then that, I happy where I am right now. Thanks for your post.
    Sela Toki recently posted..Being BothMy Profile

  34. says

    I am 44 and have grown more comfortable in my skin for sure! I do not dig the fact of needing help to read fine print or the stiffness of knees….but I would not trade it for anything.
    Kelly recently posted..Pushing PauseMy Profile

  35. says

    I am content. And I’m at least a few years older than YOU! I would take my 20-something body back if and ONLY if I would appreciate it as I did not back then. It was pearls before swine. And I would have liked to be married a few more years before the biological pressure to have kids moved in. But we are talking degrees of perfection. Although life hasn’t gone the way I originally planned, it is exactly right for me.
    Christine @ Quasi Agitato recently posted..This One’s About My Face.My Profile

    • Shell says

      I love this “Although life hasn’t gone the way I originally planned, it is exactly right for me.” and totally relate!

  36. says

    If I get married to the current boy, I’ll have one of the most common last names EVER, so luckily at least my first name is spelled differently. 
    I like where I’m at right now. I’m the happiest I think I’ve ever been, and there’s really not much of anything that I would change. This is the first time ever that I haven’t been looking to the future or always thinking of the past. It’s really great. 
    Venassa recently posted..Currently…My Profile

  37. says

    I am pretty happy that I’m moving out of the baby stage of children. I think my 40s are not going to be as hard as my 30s. We’ll see. I’m not there yet but I’m getting close. But I must admit I’m envious of college kids. I would love to live that life again. So fun and carefree! Funny about your name – we have two couples at our church in the same situation. Two brothers have wives named Angie. So the two Angie’s have the same name! It is kind of strange, and they are actually pretty close in age so it gets a little tricky! Glad you are content – I am too! One more year til the last one goes to kindergarten and I’m enjoying the balance I have right now. Don’t know what changes will come after that but I’ll figure it out when I come to it.

  38. says

    It depends on the day. Somedays I want some do-overs, I want to try again and have another chance to do it right. Others I am looking ahead and happy that I am where I am right now. My life has been windy and twisty that I think about going back and I’m stumped..to where? I didn’t leave any breadcrumbs for sure. Where you are and who you are today is the girl I like the most. Her life is exactly where it should be.
    kir recently posted..Just Be Enough: CUTEMy Profile


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