Pour Your Heart Out: There are Two of Us

There are two of me in this town.

Well, not really two of me exactly, but two people who share the same first and last name.

That’s what happens when your bil marries a girl who shares the same first name as you.

But, I’m the OLD one.

To her, it must seem like I’m ancient since I’m old enough to be her mama.

I would have had to be a really young mama, but it’s still possible that I could be her mama.

I’m not the one who is newly married, I’m the one who has been married for almost 10 years.

I’m not the one who is pregnant with her first baby, I’m the one with three growing boys. Even though some people heard she was pregnant and thought I was pregnant with my fourth. This baby shop is closed. 

I’m not the one with my 20s still in front of me, I’m the one who is aging gracefully towards her 40s.

As much as I sometimes look back on my carefree 20s with longing, I wouldn’t want to go back. I might want to go back to the body I had back then, but I wouldn’t want much else from that time of growing up.

As much as there’s something special and romantic about being a newlywed, that adjustment period is also pretty hard. Hubs and I have found our stride and have a strong marriage.

And as much as I love holding a new baby, I’m so ready to move on from that stage. I still want to babysit, but I want to give the baby back and be able to get some sleep at night. 

So, even though there are two of us, I’m perfectly okay being the old one.

Are you content with the stage of life you are in? Or are you constantly looking back or ahead? 

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Comments

  1. I love my 40′s it truly just gets better.
    tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..How to Not Spend $1000 on PromMy Profile

  2. I am definitely happy in the stage of life I am in…if anything I am excited about moving a little more past the baby and toddler area of life. I am so with you on not wanting to go back to those challenging first few years of marriage. They are exciting, but can be so painful to figure out how to work together. I definitely don’t want to be having my first baby! For now, I am blissful where I am.
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..Have You Ever Been Kicked Out Of A Swim Lesson? I’m Asking For A Friend – PYHOMy Profile

  3. There are two of me, too! My brother married an Emily two years ago… Although, I’ll be getting married in a few months and then there will only be one. Oh, and I’m the younger one. But, not crazy young. I just turned 30. Yikes! But, I definitely agree… I wouldn’t go back and do it again. I’m happy where I am in life! Thanks for sharing, Shell #1. :)

  4. I  know this is totally not the point of your story BUT I just had to share… There are “two of me” also – BIL’s wife. :) And I am also the older one… ugh.
    Kate F. @katefineske recently posted..Mommy’s Time Out – A Reflection on Before, During and AfterMy Profile

  5. Oh yes, I am so happy with the stage of life I am in right now. No more babies for me. I’m glad I’m not in my 20′s anymore, I am much more secure with who I am now that I’m on the downward slide to 40. I like my life. I’m content and I’m happy. It’s an amazing feeling! Great post Shell.
    Delilah recently posted..So What?My Profile

  6. Totally get this. Yes, I wouldn’t mind having my 20 year old body back but you’re so right, all the other stuff is hard. I’m comfortable with who I am now. 
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Memories Captured: Bag of TricksMy Profile

  7. I actually wish I was a bit older, which is probably weird to most. But being a young mom– I get a LOT of judgements. It doesnt help that Im in my mid-20s and look like Im 15. So glad there is only one ME in my town, at least. :)
    Jessica recently posted..Toddler Turned ManiacMy Profile

  8. I cannot imagine having someone else in the same town with my same name. Lord one of me is enough. Would I go back, probably not. There are days that I wish some things had not happened but then I would not be who I am today. There are times I would change the last 4 years with mom. Done more things, spent more time with her, lived more with her. But I can’t do that either. Perhaps then her loss would be much harder for me to take and there are days that I don’t think I can take it now.
    Angel recently posted..Why I will always be a small town girlMy Profile

  9. I miss my early 20′s body, but I would never go back to that time. I like where I am right now!
    Kimberly recently posted..Cheating Is Not DeservedMy Profile

  10. I’ll be 36 in a few short months and I’m comfortable with that age and who I am. Though sometimes, I wish I started having children earlier :)
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..I’m An Angry ShopperMy Profile

  11. For the most part, I am content with who I am, although there is that one glaring area where I have issues and Oh Look… another blog post about that today! :-) I will be 36 this summer and I won’t lie, the idea of flipping over the the “closer to 40 than 30″ side has me a little freaked out, but I’m a lot more comfortable in my skin right now than I was in my 20s… course my skin is 10 pounds thinner than it was this time last year, so that helps! :-)
    Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..PYHO: The One About the BoysMy Profile

    • Yay for weight loss! 

      I’ll be 35 this summer. And it’s hard to believe sometimes. Didn’t I just graduate college?

  12. I am definitely more comfortable now than in my 20′s. Of course like you I wouldn’t mind having my body from my 20′s back (totally didn’t appreciate it then). And no way would I go back to the Newlywed stage I am looking forward now to the time in our life when the children are grown and we can enjoy time as a couple and it will be so much better than the newlywed stage!

  13. l love where I am now. It took a lot to get here, but it was all worth it.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Earth Day Activity- Backyard Nature Center TableMy Profile

  14. While I’m more comfortable in my skin as a 30something, I’d much wish there was less of it right now!
    I couldn’t help but think of the TV show the New Adventures of the Old Christine with this post! Lucky you’re not the ex-wife wit the same first name!
    Jackie recently posted..GoneMy Profile

    • We joke about that with Old Christine.  For now, people just use our husbands’ names when referring to us. 

  15. Like others I would also take my pre-kid body back, but I’m definitely more comfortable with myself now. I’m content and happy where I am at in life. Although I occasionally look forward to a less exhausting stage of life (does that exist?) or wish we had that fourth baby, I wouldn’t go back to that time. A little scary though, I’m 37, my oldest is 12, my youngest is almost 9, sometimes I wonder how I got here with all these people calling me Mom.
    Created In His Image recently posted..A Day In Our LifeMy Profile

  16. I too am going to say that I am content. I don’t want to go back… only forward. 
    Jen recently posted..How a Blog Post is BornMy Profile

  17. Ha, you will laugh when you see my post today because I’m on the same page as you – happy with the stage I’m at and looking forward to the next one rather than back at the one I just left!
    Jessica@Team Rasler recently posted..ConfessionMy Profile

  18. The only way I’d go back to my newly-married self in my mid20′s would be if I could go back with all that I know now. Knowledge is power.
    Vinobaby recently posted..When School Shootings Hit Too Close To HomeMy Profile

  19. I feel like it’s taken quite a while but I do finally look forward more than I look back. The other day I overheard a twenty-something talking with her friends. She was explaining why they hadn’t seen her the day before by saying, “Sorry, I basically slept all day.” And for the first time, I wasn’t envious of her ability to sleep all day. I was excited that I have so much to be awake for all day! (though sleeping all morning would still be nice :) )
    Tricia recently posted..BarkingMy Profile

  20. Hmmm… I am happy with myself – but unhappy with my ‘in your’r 30′s body… and the stress eating that goes with it.’ Hubs and I have only been married for 6 years, so sometimes it feels like we are still in the newly wed stage: only because we continue to have big life changes.  Short answer: yes. Long answer: sort of. 
    Kristen recently posted..Sometimes Support Groups SuckMy Profile

  21. That is SO crazy that there is “two” of you! ;)  And yes, I’m quite content to be in the same place you are…. it’s pretty comfortable here. :)
    Elaine recently posted..So I guess I can extend our zoo membership…My Profile

    • My gut reaction to finding out they were getting married *may* have been WHAT? No way! I don’t want there to be two of us!

  22. I sometimes miss those days, but I am content where I am now in life.  I’m looking forward to what’s to come.
    Evonne recently posted..Our EggsMy Profile

  23. I’m fairly content.  There’s not much that I want that’s behind me…except for maybe some friendships that were lost.  I do, however, look forward a lot.  I imagine what life will be like in 5, 10, 20 years.  I’ve always done that.
    Kmama recently posted..Peek-a-Boo, The BunnyMy Profile

  24. I’m happy with this age – I think I was kind of an idiot 10 and 20 years ago.  But all of those things evolved to help me become who I am now, I suppose!
    Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..Art Through MusicMy Profile

  25. Totally content! I would not go back for anything. I feel like I’ve finally let go of so many insecurities and hubs and I have found our rythym too. We went through a rough patch a couple of years ago, and God pulled us through it. I’m certain we still have lots to learn, but I’m content and I like it! It would nice if I had a handbook in raising these boys, but other than that…
    Adrienne recently posted..It’s hard having a teenager.My Profile

    • I think so many go through a rough spot in early years of marriage- not something I ever want to go back to!

  26. I stopped having birthdays after I turned 25 so yes, I’m totally ok with where I am in life :)
    Kimberly recently posted..She Was My WorldMy Profile

  27. I guess I could go back to my 20′s if only I was able to keep full knowledge of my current life.  It would help me to make some better choices.

    Other than that I am content with being old.
    Oka recently posted..PYHO: Go CelticsMy Profile

  28. I can totally relate. My two SILs are both 5 years younger than me and I always feel like the “old” one. At the same time I really think that I have hit my stride in my 30s and that they are the best decade so far. In fact, there was a recent study showing that age 33 is the age when most people are their happiest (I recently blogged about it). I also don’t think that my younger self could have handled the things that my current self is able to handle – also blogged about this one :-)
    Christie recently posted..Simple prayer. Profound meditation.My Profile

  29. I’m mostly comfortable in my age. One of my sisters is pregnant with her 3rd. As much as I’m going to enjoy new baby smell, I’m glad it’s not me.
    JamieAnne recently posted..Big G MyBlogSpark Curvy Straw GiveawayMy Profile

  30. I would be okay being the old one too if it meant I didn’t have to change diapers anymore. 
    Jessica recently posted..Taking The Kids HomeMy Profile

  31. I’m having a hard time moving on from the baby stage (having one, not being one), but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. I like the age I’m at, though. It suits me just fine. :)
    Greta recently posted..Great Expectations: Angela of Tread SoftlyMy Profile

    • We were stuck in the baby stage for so long b/c all of my boys are close in age that I was thrilled to move past it!

  32. You know… I really AM content with the stage of life I am in.  Sure, there are some serious ups and downs right now (my husband was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder), but as far as the stage, I’m pleased.  I’m ready to be raising two preteen girls and moving past the time of young children.  I am pleased with my job and where my career is going.  I am definitely in a marriage that is stronger than it has ever been.  I couldn’t ask for much more out of life right now.  I’m excited about the future, but I’m not ready to push it.
    Karen recently posted..I Hate the Word "Crazy"My Profile

  33. Oh, I wouldn’t go back to my 20s at all. I finally have the confidence I wish I had back then (and in my teens).
    Oh, you are not old. Not even close. You are just older than her. But she is just a baby. ;)

    • She is a baby. I cannot imagine being married with a baby on the way back when I was her age. My biggest worry back then was if someone was going to ask me to one of the Frat Spring Formals and what I’d wear.

  34. I’m pretty comfortable where I am, in fact looking forward to 44. That’s always been a lucky sports number in our home so, 44 is going to be my year. :)
    Cindi recently posted..Madness turns MagicalMy Profile

  35. I go back and forth a lot. But then I realized that by looking backwards, I’m completely missing the present. And then I’ll look back at this age and wish I’d relished it more. So why not enjoy it now?
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..It’s Not Easy Being Green…Or Is It?My Profile

    • I think that’s where my attitude is coming from. Looking back on younger days and realizing everything good that I took for granted. I don’t want to look back at this age and realize I did the same thing.

  36. I miss my ability to stay up late and still survive on four hours sleep. That was one plus to being in my twenties! But I wouldn’t go back for anything else, I like the stage of life I’m in right now. :)
    Tiffany recently posted..PYHO: Home in HeavenMy Profile

  37. I love the stage we are at! But… Did not like reading that gracefully towards 40 – gasp!!!

  38. I LOVE IT – you and your sister in law are going to be hilarious at family functions!!
    Jester Queen recently posted..Cena MexicanaMy Profile

  39. I am loving my 3o’s! But reading we are heading (even though it is gracefully…) towards our 40′s…. Gasp!!

  40. I’m going to be 40 this year and there are times when I find myself looking back at where I’ve been and the things that I’ve done. I often wonder why I didn’t travel more or do this or that, but I think that I’m in a really good place right now and I’m happy with that. That’s what really matters.
    Jackie recently posted..Wordful Wednesday ~ Bit by the theatre bug!My Profile

    • I sometimes regret the things I didn’t get around to doing before kids, but still- I’m happy with where I am.

  41. Oh yes…I totally get this one. I’m gracefully aging into my 40s also. Do I want to go back to my 20s? HELL NO!
    Also
    loved the question you posed at the end…thought provoking. I may be writing about that next week…
    Lisa – AutismWonderland recently posted..All I Want for The BoyMy Profile

  42. that’s a hard question….
    I would love to say I never look ahead or back, but I daresay I’d be lying….
    Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..The Man Who Never Wants to Get LaidMy Profile

  43. I never want to be a 20-something again. I’ll be 39 at the end of June and I’m very happy being my age. Sure, I enjoyed my 20s while I was in them, but I am much more secure in myself, my marriage, and my life now — there’s no comparison!
    IASoupMama recently posted..Happy Birthday, Baby Girls!My Profile

  44. I think I’d like to grab moments from other stages, but overall, I’m happy here. 
    Julie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: QueueMy Profile

  45. Ha! Two Shells at different stages :)

    I think I’m pretty content with where I am right now. The only thing in question is whether we’re really done having babies yet??? Only time will tell I guess! But I would not want to go back to my twenties.
    molly recently posted..The Story of my DiagnosisMy Profile

  46. Great post.  I do look back sometimes, and wish I had done some things differently because age brings wisdom. I’m not going to lie, at my age, and having small kids, I do sometimes wish they were a little older so I could enjoy my 40s a little more with some freedom. 
    Leigh Powell Hines (@Hinessightblog) recently posted..Wednesday’s Wish We Were Here: Ritz-Carlton, Amelia IslandMy Profile

  47. Wow I bet that does get confusing! But I think you are right…and I agree I’m totally ok with where I am at too.
    Natalie recently posted..Sneak Peek of Nursery Bedding FabricMy Profile

  48. It gets confusing when there are two of you.  My husband had the same name as his father but they had a different middle name.  We got bills and credit issues for that reason but also because their social security numbers were the same except for the middle two numbers.  He would get life insurance quotes when he was in his late 20′s because his dad was in his 50′s.

    I’m glad you are happy with the stage of life that you are in.  It’s a wonderful place to be.
    Tami recently posted..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  49. Well, that has to be a little confusing for people ;)
    It’s so great to be at a spot in your life where you’re content…and it sounds like you are. 
    xo
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..Easter Picture Mishaps…My Profile

  50. I did most of my growing from 14-22 and even though I’m only 27 and have grown a lot from 23-27 as far as motherhood type things, you couldn’t pay me to go back to those rough emotional years.  We were just talking about that earlier…not interested!
    stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..Pregnant BeastMy Profile

    • It seems like that’s a time of life to try to figure things out… even though we pretty much know nothing! LOL

  51. I’ll be 30 this November and I’m perfectly ok with it. I don’t want to be a newlywed anymore. I’m glad I haven’t moved in 3 years after moving pretty much every year since I started college. I like getting to sleep a little again. And I’m looking forward to the future too.
    Diana recently posted..Finally – A Little Bit of LifeMy Profile

  52. I don’t know if it’s this stage of life or just this life in general…
    Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) recently posted..Two and through?My Profile

    • There are definitely things I’d like to change, but for the most part- I’ll take this stage of life!

  53. That would get confusing at times. I have a brother Aaron, and my sister married an Aaron– but different last names so that helps, but still sometimes confusing in family conversations.

    I think I am pretty happy with where I am- I definitely don’t want to go back to highschool or even my first years of marriage- and I don’t have teens yet- so yea maybe I want to stay just right here.
    Emmy recently posted..Party Like It’s a Blog PartyMy Profile

    • I dated someone with the same name as my younger brother. It was confusing. I said “My” and then “Brother” in fron of their names to tell them apart when I was talking about them!

  54. I don’t want to go back to my premommy days (unless of course you’re talking about my body because I’d take my prebaby body back in a heartbeat!) for anything. I don’t miss going to bars and doing all those things. And I’ll take my sleep over the babystage too. I love that my kids are almost out of diapers and that we are moving into the preschool stage. I like each new stage better than the last. I wonder what stage that will end?
    Twingle Mommy recently posted..Which Way Is It-Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff or Enjoy the Small Moments?My Profile

  55. with an unusual name like mine I thought what are the chances and you know they exist because i found my double on pinterest!

  56. That’s quite an incident for two persons with the same name, and live in the same town.

    I am too happy where I’m at now, minus the aches :-)
    Raw Thoughts And Feelings recently posted..V Is For VietNamMy Profile

  57. Parts of my body are better! (fine maybe not, but I am tired enough to believe that’s true some days.) I’m pretty happy in my skin right now, in terms of stage of life. I would be just a smidge happier if someone could potty train my son…
    angela recently posted..What I Learned in Astonomy ClassMy Profile

  58. I was just thinking today about how good things are in this season of marriage. I might blog about it soon. I remember about this time a year ago we were going through a rough patch and now?  Things are great!

    • Blog post!!! :) 

      I think we all go through ups and downs. Thankfully, it’s a been a while since Hubs and I have had a really rough patch.

  59. I’m pretty content for the most part.  And I’m with you…the only thing I truly want back from my 20s is my body.  And though I’m happy to be out of the diaper stage, I always say if I was 10-yrs younger, I’d have a couple more kids.  Of course I can say that because I’m 10 years older.  Older and wiser (hopefully!)
    Jill @ Mommy Inconsistent recently posted..Sliding DoorsMy Profile

  60. I love the age I am right now- I’ve never felt better, stronger, smarter, sexier:)
    I’ll be 50 in July- Tracy
    Tracy Wilson recently posted..The Devil Is In the DetailsMy Profile

  61. the only thing that would make me go back to the past is getting my almost skinny body back. That’s it. LOL. Other then that, I happy where I am right now. Thanks for your post.
    Sela Toki recently posted..Being BothMy Profile

  62. I am 44 and have grown more comfortable in my skin for sure! I do not dig the fact of needing help to read fine print or the stiffness of knees….but I would not trade it for anything.
    Kelly recently posted..Pushing PauseMy Profile

  63. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my 20 year old body!!! But, I love my boys and I really couldn’t ask for anything else.
    Jenny recently posted..Will-isms’My Profile

  64. I am content. And I’m at least a few years older than YOU! I would take my 20-something body back if and ONLY if I would appreciate it as I did not back then. It was pearls before swine. And I would have liked to be married a few more years before the biological pressure to have kids moved in. But we are talking degrees of perfection. Although life hasn’t gone the way I originally planned, it is exactly right for me.
    Christine @ Quasi Agitato recently posted..This One’s About My Face.My Profile

    • I love this “Although life hasn’t gone the way I originally planned, it is exactly right for me.” and totally relate!

  65. I am content. I think babies are sweet but I like my sleep more. Granted, when Natalie starts Kindergarten this fall I have no idea what I’ll do. I’m leaning on a part time job but what? Still no idea!
    Amber recently posted..Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Saying WE’RE PregnantMy Profile

  66. I love tho, Shell! 

    You *do* do things gracefully, I only hope that I’m doing the same!

  67. Oh, I hear you about giving the baby back!!! 
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted..The McClain Sisters – Have You Ever Seen Such Sparkling Smiles?My Profile

  68. I have a hard time being content with where I am.  Hoping age brings more confidence!
    Jen recently posted..Toddler activities {Water play}My Profile

  69. If I get married to the current boy, I’ll have one of the most common last names EVER, so luckily at least my first name is spelled differently. 
    I like where I’m at right now. I’m the happiest I think I’ve ever been, and there’s really not much of anything that I would change. This is the first time ever that I haven’t been looking to the future or always thinking of the past. It’s really great. 
    Venassa recently posted..Currently…My Profile

  70. I am pretty happy that I’m moving out of the baby stage of children. I think my 40s are not going to be as hard as my 30s. We’ll see. I’m not there yet but I’m getting close. But I must admit I’m envious of college kids. I would love to live that life again. So fun and carefree! Funny about your name – we have two couples at our church in the same situation. Two brothers have wives named Angie. So the two Angie’s have the same name! It is kind of strange, and they are actually pretty close in age so it gets a little tricky! Glad you are content – I am too! One more year til the last one goes to kindergarten and I’m enjoying the balance I have right now. Don’t know what changes will come after that but I’ll figure it out when I come to it.

  71. It depends on the day. Somedays I want some do-overs, I want to try again and have another chance to do it right. Others I am looking ahead and happy that I am where I am right now. My life has been windy and twisty that I think about going back and I’m stumped..to where? I didn’t leave any breadcrumbs for sure. Where you are and who you are today is the girl I like the most. Her life is exactly where it should be.
    kir recently posted..Just Be Enough: CUTEMy Profile

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