Things They Can’t Say: My Time as Mom

This week’s featured blogger is one busy girl: she not only has her own blog, but she also is one of the girls behind Vlog Talk and One Martini at a Time. I got to meet her at Blissdom last week and adore her. Please welcome Jessica from My Time as Mom.

Will They Know What’s Missing?

In a perfect world…children have four grandparents that spoil them rotten.

In a perfect world…this is fabulous for everybody as it creates strong family ties and lasting memories.

However life isn’t perfect and my two beautiful girls don’t have all four grandparents to spend time with them on a regular basis.

My husband’s father passed away about 24 years ago so he never had the chance to meet his granddaughters.

My father and I are not speaking and it has been this way for over a year so the girls don’t see him.

My husband’s mother sees them a few times a year and occasionally talks to them on the phone or FaceTime.

The last grandparent is my mom and she is absolutely wonderful. She makes sure she visits us frequently and talks to us several times a week on FaceTime. But there is still the distance of 2 hours by car that makes it impossible for the girls to see her whenever they want.
It breaks my heart that my girls don’t have grandparents around all the time like I did when I was growing up.

I know there is nothing I can do to change our situations.

I can’t bring life back. I can’t force a person to stop drinking. I can’t move my family back to California when our life is settled in Nevada.

But it doesn’t stop the sadness from swelling in my heart for my girls .

I feel like their childhood won’t be complete because of what they are missing.

I hope I’m wrong.

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Please leave Jessica some comment love here. Then go follow her blog. You can also find her on facebook and twitter.

Comments

  1. says

    A grandparent-grandchild relationship is very special and I think it’s fabulous your Mom is as involved as she is (despite the distance). I grew up with essentially just one grandparent present in my life and it was enough. She shaped many of my best childhood memories. I think your girls having your Mom, will hold them in good stead. 
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..My ‘Chair’My Profile

  2. says

    My children do have 2 sets of grand parents, but both are long distance. We live in MA and my parents are in SC and my in-laws are in NJ. Even though my in-laws are only at the most 4 hours away they still only visit 2 times a year. They would like us to visit them more. Even though it costs us a lot more money to visit them, my children are super busy with sports, and my husband and I both work (they are both retired) and it is just no fun hauling 3 kids around for a weekend. It is very frustrating. I would love (well I wouldn’t really love because I don’t really like my MIL very much, but for my kids) for them to just take the time to come visit the kids and absorb what their life is like, go to their games, meet their friends, etc. It is just so sad!

    I totally get what you are feeling…
    Making It Work Mom recently posted..And…It’s Friday!My Profile

    • says

      It’s unfortunate but sometimes life (and money) gets in the way of spending time with family. I hope one day your children get to spend more time with their grandparents. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  3. says

    I can relate. I grew up in a small town and had access to both sets of grandparents and a set of great grandparents whenever I wanted, which was several times a week. Some of my most favorite memories is of the time I spent with them. We now live a cross country flight, a 3 hour flight, or a three hour drive from my son’s grandparents. I feel guilty sometimes, like we’re cheating him out of something magical. And to a point, we are. But we live where we live for a reason and I hope someday he’ll appreciate the life we’ve created for him here along with his family of close friends. When we do visit, we try to savor each minute and make those times we can be together as special as possible.
    NJ @ A Pocket Full Of Dinosaurs recently posted..March 1.My Profile

    • says

      I lived close to my grandparents growing up and I have memories of spending time with them. Hopefully our kids will remember the little bit of time they spend with their grandparents and it will be even more special since they don’t get to see them as often as we did growing up. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  4. says

    We are blessed that my parents have somewhat moved with us wherever we have gone … my Mother inlaw visits twice a year from Europe but my father in law has not seen my oldest since she was two, and has never met my youngest who will soon be ten.  They ask from time to time, they don’t understand why, they never knew great grandparents because we lived so far away and the whole extended family has been on and off.
    I watch movies with the small town and the white picket fence and the families that share dinner every Sunday – and I am envious … I wish that for my kids … but we have what we have and its all that they know.
    But, yes always but …
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Blissdom, a recap and omgosh, its the weekend!My Profile

    • says

      We used to do Sunday dinners with my grandparents on my Mom’ side every week. Now that we live in Reno it doesn’t happen anymore. But you are right, what we have is what we have and we no amount of wishing will change it. Have to make the best out of our situations. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  5. says

    You make me miss my dad! He passed when my oldest was just 4 months old. I think all the time about the joy he would have taken in my girls…how he would adore them and get the biggest kick out of the little things they do! I too fear that there will be a missing piece for them…a piece only their “Papa” could have filled.
    At the same time, my girls have so many people in their lives that love and adore them and for that…I’m extremely thankful.
    Thank you for sharing! =)
    Elizabeth recently posted..Frugal Fashionista FridayMy Profile

    • says

      I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your dad but I am glad to hear that your girls have many people in their lives that love them. It doesn’t completely fill the loss of your dad but I’m sure it helps. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  6. says

    Oh Jessica, their lives will still be complete.  I only had one living one grand parent when I was born (my parents were 36 and 41 when I was born), and she passed away when I was seven, and I honestly don’t remember spending a lot of time with her–even though I know I did as a very SMALL youngster.  However, I feel like I had a perfectly full childhood.  I do look at my children though, and I am so happy that they do have a relationship with their grandparents, and that they are blessed with that.  BUT we are living overseas right now, so most of their lives they have been away from those grandparents, so we just need to do the best we can to make them a part of their lives.  Thank God for Skype, Facetime and Google Chat though.  That is one thing I have to say!!!
    Jen@ADropintheBucket recently posted..Five Minute Friday: AcheMy Profile

  7. says

    I sit in the same situation as I currently do not have a relationship with my parents. Have not spoken to my dad in 6months and my mother and I are just civil!
    My MIL is frustrating me with her manipulative crap and as a result I do not want to meve closer to them. We have a 2yr old son who hardly sees his grandparents but he has happy parents. Not sure what the greater evil is: Happy parents= less time with Grandparents or Miserable parents= more time with grandparents. Just my 2cents.

    I agree that we do what we feel is best the same way our parents did when they raised us…
    Spiritedmama1 recently posted..Cheers! It’s the Weekennnddddddddd BaaaaaaaaabbbbbbYMy Profile

  8. says

    Your children will ‘miss’ it only if you remind them of what they don’t have. Let them enjoy the goodness of the grandparent they have rather than long for someone they don’t. (Written while still suffering the loss of Grandpa in January.)
    Cindi recently posted..House Party Follow UpMy Profile

  9. says

    I think it comes down to what you make of it. I grew up with a set of 4- but I didn’t really like my dad’s mom, and his dad passed when I was 8. I will always be grateful for the relationship I had with my mother’s parents- even though her and I have a VERY strained relationship and she might only see my boys once or twice a year due to the geographic challenge. My husband’s parents are a little more aggressive than I would like for the boys- and are starting to push themselves on us in a way that I see as intrusive. I don’t know what the answer is personally. IS there a perfect set of 4?????

  10. says

    I completey understand where you’re coming from Jess. My parents live in Washington State and we currently live on the east coast. My husbands parents live here, but they don’t see our son very often. They just don’t seem to care all that much, even though they live about 5 miles away. They see him about once a month. It sucks, but we deal. Broken hearts and all.
    Eve recently posted..When a Toddler Learns Cause and EffectMy Profile

  11. says

    I know just how you feel. My dad left when I was 3 weeks old, I’ve never even met him. My husband’s dad is in and out of prison and my husband refuses to let him around our kids. His mom lives a half an hour away but she doesn’t really ever spend time with the kids. Her boyfriend has to talk her into coming to see the kids. … but she’s got some health issues now, she has the beginning stages of Alzheimers and her cancer is back… So we don’t know how much longer she will be around. The kids love being around her but she never takes the time to really spend time with them. She will buy them a bunch of gifts, but not give them her time.. My mom, on the other hand, is a big part of their life. She keeps at least one of them over night every Friday night and she sees all of them every weekend. They have no grandpas, no uncles, really no other men in their life. … They loved their great grandma but she died in 2010, I”m hoping that they are old enough to always remember her!
    Deanna recently posted..Thirsty for Comments Thursday Blog HopMy Profile

    • says

      I’m sorry to hear about the troubles you have with grandparents but it sounds like your mom is awesome as a grandma. Your kids will love the time they spend with her. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  12. says

    My kids dont see all 4 grandparents as often as they should. My mom is amazing, and sees them about once a week. But my Dad lives in Hawaii and can only come once or twice a year. And my in laws suck. They see my boys about 2 times a year and they live an hour and a half away. Im sure your girls will grow up knowing they are loved by your mom. I only had one grandparent present in my life when I was growing up and he was the best person I ever knew, and helped to mold me into the person I am today. 
    Jessica recently posted..Meet My Neighbor Friday: Life Ever SinceMy Profile

  13. says

    Jessica I think what the kids really appreciate grandparents who love them, whether they love them in person, or by phone or by text message and that’s all that matters. The number really are just numbers it’s the feelings that matter.

    My parents were/are such an important part of my children’s lives. Sunday dinners and days at the beach walks to the ice cream parlor. And although my dad died 2o years ago they have strong memories of him because the relationship was good and they carry that in their hearts.  We moved to another state years ago, and Mom’s relationship was long distance with the kids for a time.  Mom eventually joined us and enjoys a close relationship with the kids now that they’re grown. And now that she’s older they can give back to her what she gave to them when they were little… love and attention.

    My husband was the product of abusive parents so there’s was never any question that we didn’t have any relationship with them or let the kids near them. When they got older they asked questions, they were curious about who their grandparents were, why we didn’t see them.  But they never wanted  to connect with them in any way nor did they ever try when we explained.
    Jen recently posted..flying my freak flagMy Profile

    • says

      I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s parents but I’m glad that your parents have been so involved with your kids. The kids will remember the time they spent with them for sure. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  14. says

    I’m blessed that my son has all four grandparents alive and very involved in his life, but I think most of us weren’t so lucky and still turned out fine. My dad’s father passed away when he was only 14 and so I never knew him. My other grandfather passed when I was 2, so I barely remember him. My dad’s mother wasn’t very involved and could never remember our birthdays. But my mom’s mother was very present in our lives. She taught me to play the piano and love music, as well as peanut butter balls. I think as long as children know someone loves them and cares for them, they will grow up being happy, well-adjusted adults. And many turn out fine without being blessed with love in their home.
    Kristen Reichert recently posted..The LookMy Profile

  15. says

    I think you are going to be wrong….
    I didn’t have my mom’s side as grandparents growing up. I had my dad’s side, but only for a short time and they lived 5 hours away. The time we got with them was beyond awesome and I think I loved it more because it was such a rare time. Christmases, spending the summer with them or occassional visits to our house… they were so special and I think I can remember each one of them. Your girls know they are loved. And your mom doing what she is doing means the world to them I’m sure. Even the time your Mother-in-law devotes to them I’m sure means a lot. My husband had his grandparents, both sets. He saw them frequently and loves them dearly too. Sure I was sad that I didn’t get that type of time, but I really appreciate what I did get and I never felt a lack of love because of it. I’m taking full advantage of our situation with the boys. They see all grandparents fairly frequently. You make the best of what you have.
    Tayarra recently posted..Little Mr. Bedtime ‘Routine’My Profile

  16. says

    These are the types of things that run through my head when we think about moving. Both sets of grandparents are nearby, and my parents in particular are amazing with the kids. I think, though, that your mom can be enough. My aunt & uncle have a really close relationship with their grandkids, and my cousin’s family lives in CA. They only see each other a few times a year, but the quality of the time together is amazing, and I think that’s what matters. Kids know when they are loved, and I’m sure your girls feel that from your mom and hold it with them.
    angela recently posted..A Few Steps BehindMy Profile

    • says

      It is difficult to move away from family once you have kids. 

      And when you live farther away you appreciate the time you get to spend together so much more so I hope my kids will remember all the times Grandma came to stay with us or we went to stay with her. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  17. says

    I understand how you feel. We would like to give our kids the best and more!
    Your mother sounds great and goes to great lengths to stay in touch with her grandchildren,
    that is more than what some people have.
    That probably doesn’t make it easier, but still your cup is half full. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
    Mirjam recently posted..Spring breakMy Profile

  18. says

    My older kids were fortunate enough to have half a dozen living grandparents. Now we are down to just two, my MIL and my dad. My little one is only 16 months old. She will probably not remember have them at all. I do believe the enrich the kids lives. I don’t know what I would have done without my grandma. I lost her a few months ago at the age of 93.
    Sandy
    momof12 recently posted..The Basketball TournamentMy Profile

  19. says

    My parents live 5 minutes away from us but aren’t that involved anymore. My in-laws are further, and see the kids even less, but they use the time together as best they can. I guess it’s quality over quantity there.

    Your girls adore your mom, and she does to them too. As long as the communication continues, the relationship will continue to grow. You’re lucky that you have such a great mom who wants to be that involved with your kids!
    Kimberly recently posted..My Blissdom RecapMy Profile

    • says

      I’m sorry to hear your parents aren’t that involved. It’s sad that they are so close but don’t see the kids. But quality over quantity is important and I would take quality time over quantity any day. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  20. says

    I feel your pain, and I share it. We live in Alabama, and our parents live in Ohio. Ten hour drive = far too little Grandparent time. Now, I’m lucky in that all four are loving grandparents, but I yearn for that right-next-door experience. The thing that soothes me is this:  my maternal grandparents were my beloveds. I lived three hours away from them, and I treasured every moment I had with them. I had a strong strong bond in spite of distance, and I think my kids will, too.
    Jester Queen recently posted..Friday Fluff, March 2, 2012My Profile

  21. says

    I totally, totally get this. My sisters and I grew up in the same city as all 4 of our grandparents, and it kind of breaks my heart that our kids will never know that. My parents are divorced and my dad still lives in my hometown (3.5 hrs away from us) and is an alcoholic, something which has put more distance between us than I would like recently. He knows I don’t want him drinking when he’s around us and our daughter, something which he thankfully respects. My mom, too, lives almost 2 hrs away from us, but fortunately we get to see her and my stepdad pretty often. My husband’s parents live almost an hour away from us, so again, we don’t see them on a very regular basis either. I hate that our children won’t get that weekly (or even more often) time with their grandparents like we did, so I just hope they can still have that wonderful bond with them that all children should be so lucky to know.
    Jocelyn | ScooterMarie recently posted..19 month statsMy Profile

  22. says

    Awww I know this can’t be easy…I have great memories as well with one set of my grandparents. I’m sure your mom will do her best to see them as much as possible and they’ll just love and be so excited when they do get to see her :)
    Natalie recently posted..Life’s Lessons: The March AdditionMy Profile

  23. says

    I grew up with no grandparents anywhere near us. I rarely saw my mom’s mom, and we saw my dad’s parents about once a year. I am so, so thankful that my kids have my parents AND my in-laws. 

    It is also for selfish reasons, though.  They help  A LOT, and really enjoy their time with their grandkids.

    Great post, Jessica, and super-cute blog here! :))
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  24. says

    We live in Canada and my little girls grandparents live in UK and America, in fact we live away from all our family members and we are creating new friends over here. I do hope that won’t make my sweet little girl miss a think.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us,

    TOI @[LifeofTOI]http://msbabyplan.blogspot.com
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    • says

      That is a lot of distance between you and the grandparents. I hope that your daughter gets to at least talk to them on the phone and/or FaceTime so that she still has them in her life. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  25. says

    My maternal grandmother passed away when I was 1- her husband was wonderful and would and lived about 4 hours away but would visit all the time, but he passed away when I was 7. My other grandparents lived across the country and we would see them every four years.

    But now, my kids regularly see their grandparents from both sides. So yes while the ideal perfect would to be able to see all it doesn’t mean things can’t be different for your grandkids someday
    Emmy recently posted..Proud Mommy Moments: Clever BoyMy Profile

  26. says

    Awww, I’m sorry. This totally breaks my heart. I lost my paternal grandfather a few weeks ago, and it was so difficult (he was my last living grandparent). For whatever reason I was closest to my maternal grandparents though they lived in Germany and we rarely saw each other… but I remember the good times we had together when we were young, though they were few and far between. I think if you shower your children with love and affection (and they get it from their nana as often as possible) they’ll feel blessed all the same. The best thing you can do is to be a wonderful parent, and it sounds as though you have that part down :) XOXO and have a great weekend! So lovely to see you here.
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  27. says

    My brother and I grew up in a similar. My mom’s dad had passed away when I was very young, before my brother was even born. My dad’s parents, well, they had very specific views about the role of children (very outdated views in my opinion) and I’ve just never felt like they wanted to be close to use as grandparents. I’ve always known that to be their shortcoming though, not mine.

    But my mom’s mom, my Nonni, is AMAZING. She would visit, send us cards, talk to us on the phone – she even just started emailing us at 79 years old! She is the kind of grandma who will make a whole regular lasagna, but then make you your own special one because you don’t like meat in your lasagna. Even though we only had one active grandparent, I never felt slighted, because I know exactly how much she loves and cares about us. And I’d never trade my Nonni in for any number of grandparents in the world.

    So I don’t think your daughters are missing out at all. Having just one person who loves them so much for exactly who they are is fabulous!
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  28. says

    We’re in similar boats… wishing things could be different.

    Growing up overseas, I wasn’t around my grandparents very much and I so wanted that to be different for my children, but with only one set now, it’s hard. I go out of my way to visit my husband’s parents with Lucas, but my MIL has been heavily medicated for the past 5 years and my FIL works too much. I’m hoping just being around them from tome to time will be enough.

    Much love and strength to you.
    Tonya recently posted..If I Had Known…My Profile

  29. says

    My mom’s father died the day I was born, and her mother was bat shit crazy (I guess it runs in her family?). But my dad’s parents were great to my brother and I, even though they lived two hours away. My grandma is still with us and I dread the day she goes.
    Even though we didn’t see them as often as my cousins, my brother and I have so many great memories with my grandparents. My grandma taught me how to make pies and my grandpa taught me to play the piano. More importantly, my grandma “taught” me how to be a mom… since my own mom isn’t the best example.
    Some of my fondest memories are from the one week out of the summer I would spend with my grandparents. Quality, not quantity. Your girls are lucky they have one GREAT grandparent instead of four mediocre ones.
    Carri recently posted..Top 5 Things I Learned at #Blissdom 2012My Profile

  30. says

    You and I have talked about this before, Jess. I really believe that they are better off without the influence of people who aren’t good people. At least that’s the decision I made in my life.

    I totally support you on this one.
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  31. says

    The grandparent thing is really tough. My mom is fabulous, and calls once a week at least, but she lives in AZ, and we are in FL – so we only get to see her in person every couple of years. 

    We moved away from both of my husband’s parents a few years ago, and that was really sad. They have come and visit us a few times, but it really isn’t the same.

    And as for my dad – I haven’t spoken to him for seven years (minus a weird phone call last month which did not restart our relationship), because he is still in denial about things and as far as I know involved with things that make me stand firm in my decision that he can’t be a part of my daughter’s life. That is sad, and hard, but I know it is the right thing. 

    I wish we could be near my mom and my husband’s parents all the time – but it just isn’t a possibility right now. You have given words to the fears and sadness I feel for my daughter. 
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    • says

      I know how hard it is to make the decision to not have a grandparent around the kids. But sometimes it is for the best and hopefully the kids realize this as they get older and notice that person was absent in their life. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  32. says

    I SO hear you on this.  I was very close to my mom’s parents growing up…they both outlived my dad.  My kids have no grandparents around them.  They all live on the east coast.  While my mom tried really hard to visit often and be involved, the others don’t as much.  It really breaks my heart.  It’s such an important relationship.  But you’re right, you can’t bring people back and you can’t change people…and you can’t move your whole life…it’s just so hard.
    Practical Parenting recently posted..Practical Moms Feature: These Little WavesMy Profile

    • says

      It’s one of the times that the situation is out of our control so there is nothing we can do to change it. Just have to accept the situation and do what we can to make sure the kids are okay. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  33. says

    Thank you so much for your lovely post. I did not have a chance to really have much of a relationship with my own grandparents, so I’m very glad my children are lucky enough to have three grandparents that they love. My husbands mother died when he was 12 and I know that as much as he is grateful for the fact that our kids have my parents and his father to spoil them, and they do, he would give anything for the chance for him own mother to see what lovely grandchildren she has. You are right, there are some things we just can’t control. Thanks again for a very touching piece.
    Kathy Radigan recently posted..From the BeginningMy Profile

    • says

      I’m sure my husband would love to have his father around to see his grandchildren growing up but life had other plans. It makes us all sad but there is nothing we can do to change the situation. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  34. says

    This was so beautifully written! I understand the feeling well. My dad isn’t very involved and my mom (who was very involved) passed away recently. The other grandparents live across the country. We have enlisted a friend who is childless and is the grandparent age to be an adopted grandma. It means a lot to the kids and I think it is giving them that sweet older generation love.
    Jennifer recently posted..On This Most Ordinary DayMy Profile

  35. says

    I completely understand your feelings. Both my parents have passed away, and my father-in-law is over 1000 miles away. My mother-in-law is only 30 minutes away, but she is very uncomfortable and uninvolved becuase my oldest daughter has autism. And of course this strains her relationship with my other 2 children. I try to be thankful for the great people they do have in their lives, but it still makes me sad.
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  36. says

    I grew up with one set of grandparents within a 10 minute drive, the other within a 15 minute drive, and almost all my aunts/uncles/cousins in that same area… I also had 4 great-grandparents for a good portion of my life, and grew up very close to all of my family… Goose is missing out on the same experience though, in a different way, which often leaves me feeling pretty sad about. My parents are AWESOME, but live 40 minutes away, and both work full-time, so we only see them (on average) every couple of weeks, although sometimes it can be a month or longer between seeing them – we’re all just so busy!! Also, we lost Hubs’ mom to lung cancer 4.5 years ago, so Goose never met her, and Hubs’ dad also lives 40 minutes away (most of our families all still live in the area we grew up in – as do most of my cousins!) and he works also, so we see his side of the family every few months, mostly for holidays and birthdays… it’s a lot more than some people I know, but it’s not what *I* grew up with, and wish Goose was able to have that same experience. I get jealous often when family members post on fb that they’re having an impromptu get together at my gramma’s or one of my aunts, or that my mom picks my nephew up from school every Friday, or that my sister and the kids are hanging out at my parents’ house X many times this week… it bums me out, but I’m trying to just be thankful that my family IS as awesome as they are, even though we don’t see them as often as I would like…
    Rusti recently posted..blessed, and thankfulMy Profile

    • says

      It’s rough when life gets in the way and you  can’t spend as much time with family as you want to. If only we didn’t have to work and could spend our time doing what we wanted. 
      Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  37. says

    I’m so sorry that I don’t have any words of wisdom or comfort (not that you were looking for them; you were simply sharing a truth about your world).

    Nevertheless.

    Your post makes me want to hop in the car, drive three hours and hug my parents. And my own grandparents (who are still alive – lucky me!).

    It’s easy to take that for granted. So I thank you for the reminder to love them while I can.
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  38. says

    We are in a similar situation.  My husband’s mother passed away when he was young and his father doesn’t talk with anyone in the family – that’s gone on for decades.  My father is out of the picture – doesn’t maintain any family relationships – years go by without talking to him – drugs are involved.  My mom is the only one, and she is fabulous.  She is my son’s dear grandmother, and she is warm and kind and loves him to death.  But, she’s in Phoenix and we’re in Colorado.  :(  We get together as much as we can and when we do, we have a great time.  We have a lot of really good, close friends here in Colorado so I feel that helps fill a family void.  
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  39. says

    I can really relate to this. my boy only has one grandma. Life sometimes sucks. But I feel like your mom is such a big influence it equals out!
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  40. says

    Right now we live one mile from my parents and 3,000 miles from his parents. Technology is a wonderful thing. While it can’t give us the personal touch, it’s the next best thing (Face Time) and sharing videos etc. So that when we do go and visit, the kids are not shy and awkward.
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  41. says

    I have no words of wisdom. I absolutely do not know what I’d do without family close by. My kids are lucky to be able to see their grandparents all the time anytime they want. Helps with live with hubs parents and mine are just across town. I grew up with my grandparents being 2 hours away but still frequently saw them. I feel for ya and think you are brave to share this. My kids are missing out on more than half of my family cause they are just that dysfunctional. I say that, cause it’s more of their personal preference or problem to not make the effort. I tried for years to have that connection and after no returned effort just quit trying.  ((HUGS))
    Paulette recently posted..Crocodile Tears and Suck Up GenesMy Profile

  42. says

    when my son, who is now 7, was 3 months old, we moved 8 hours away from our entire family.  he has 4 sets of grandparents total, since we found my birth parents several years ago and have a relationship with each of them and their respective families.  it just about killed me to leave all the grandparents behind.  FaceTime and Skype are great, but the fact remains that our entire family is 8 hours and an international border crossing away from us.  i’ve realized lately that my son just knows that as his normal.  yes, he does miss his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, a lot.  but he has a full life here and just the other day, when he was talking to his best friend who is moving to D.C. in a few weeks, he said “And just think, we will be able to talk on Skype!”  I wish he had more of a relationship with our family… they love him to death and it’s hard on everybody.  it’s hard for me not to dwell on that, BUT… it’s okay.  i love our life where we are, and it’s where we are supposed to be.
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