Pour Your Heart Out: The Positive over the Negative

children's dental month

Be Positive

Do you ever have a line jump out at you from a movie or a book or a conversation and have it stick with you?

Probably whatever you were watching or reading or talking about was about so much more, but it’s that one line that you can’t get out of your head? Or maybe the actual words blur a bit, but their meaning burrows its way into your mind, into your heart.

I had a moment like that at Blissdom last week during the opening keynote by @jonacuff (yes, we call people by their twitter names). While he talked about so many big ideas and so much of it resonated with the crowd, this is what did it for me:

“You must repond to one hundred positive comments before you are allowed to reply to one negative.”

Jon talked about examples of people who get rave reviews from almost everyone and then get one negative: and it’s the negative one that sticks with them.

But, by doing that, we are saying that one person’s negative opinion is more important than 100 positive.

And that’s not right.

That’s not healthy.

That’s not a good use of our time.

With bloggers, the “comment” part hits home; we see it all the time when someone gets tons of positive comments on a post they write and then one negative and it’s the one negative that spurs angry tweets, facebook statuses, follow-up posts, and communities to go after the offender.

But, even more than blogging, this spoke to me on a personal level.

You see, while I was at Blissdom, I had a blast with women I’ve met before and was so happy to see again, women I’ve only talked to on twitter/in blogland and couldn’t wait to meet face-to-face, women that I look up to, and women that our first introduction at all was because we met then.

Hugs all around. Laughs, good times, discussion, jokes, dinners, drinks, dancing, being a woo-girl, getting lost in the hotel together, chatting in a session.

I felt very much like I belonged there.

But, there will always be that one.

Who rolls her eyes at whatever you say.

Who turns and whispers frantically in a friend’s ear right after you talk to her.

Whose face can’t hide her obvious disdain.

But, I had a choice to make: waste all my time and energy trying to sell myself as someone worthy of friendship to that one person or spend the time with people that not only did I want to be with but who also wanted to spend time with me, too.

The keynote echoed in my head and I made a choice: don’t make the 1 negative more important than the 100 positive.

Focusing on the positive made my trip a fabulous experience.

Do you get caught up in the negative or can you let it go and focus on the positive?

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Comments

  1. That one is not worth it! Glad you didn’t focus on the one negative and let it ruin your trip!
    Life As Wife recently posted..My Son The ShoplifterMy Profile

  2. Wow. Seriously Shell… where are you coming up with these posts? This is great! I think you are so right. I think I’m aware of it because as a teacher (former .. now, I guess) I know that – the one negative might stick with them forever. I can still remember word – for – word reprimands I got in school. But, really – there was someone at Blissdom that did that? Boo! And yay for you for ignoring it! I worry when I comment, because I don’t know all the rules. That I might do something rude. But – I’m not usually purposefully rude. So proud of you for focusing on the good stuff. .. Like Rascal Flatts. :)
    Kristen recently posted..It’s Not Cool to be GayMy Profile

  3. This was one of the most powerful messages from Blissdom. There is so much positive, and so much to be done, that focusing on the negative not only doesn’t make sense, but derails us from our goals (see, I was listening!). That one negative doesn’t outweigh the rest- and there is so much more positive out there.
    Ashley {at} My Front Porch Swing recently posted..Hard Lessons: Learning how to not to disappoint meMy Profile

    • That opening was so awesome.  Excited that it will be on the Bliss at Home thing.

      No letting a negative overtake all the positive that is out there. My new mantra. That I probably already drove you crazy with this weekend. 

  4. Shell, I’m so sorry you had that one negative! But you are absolutely right–focus on the positive. On what matters. And the positive is where it’s at.
    Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..A Circle of HandsMy Profile

    • I needed to hear that opening keynote. I think in the past, I would have ended up focusing on one negative and let it ruin the rest- which would have been a shame, since there were so many wonderful people there! 

  5. I have chills. This is so very important.

    (And so hard to remember. Thanks for the reminder, friend. I needed that.)
    Galit Breen recently posted..EasyMy Profile

  6. Love this and it’s oh so true. Good for you.
    tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..My 1000th PostMy Profile

  7. Your message is perfect in its timing, Shell. It really hits me spot on! I’ve got goosebumps reading this. Definitely taking a mental note of this one. THANK YOU so, so much for sharing this.
    Sweaty recently posted..I Miss YouMy Profile

  8. Someone rolled their eyes at you? RUDE! I wish we would have had more time to get to know each other, but I was so overwhelmed that I really didnt talk to many people that I had planned on. I was so inspired by Jon. He hit home with me on a lot of points, but especially the negative comments. Hope I get to see you at Type A. 
    Jessica recently posted..Ill Be Your ComfortMy Profile

  9. So sorry you experienced that negative. You’re a wonderful person and I wish I had had more time to talk with you this weekend.

    Focusing on the positive is a great reminder and something that I try so hard to do. It’s not always easy, but I’m trying.
    Kimberly recently posted..My Journey HomeMy Profile

    • Oh, btw, if you rolled your eyes at me b/c I had to touch your baby bump, that would be totally okay. ;) 

  10. There is always one. Taking the high road does ultimately make you feel better about it. It is just easier said then done, right?
    Stasha recently posted..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  11. I can’t believe someone rolled their eyes at you – that is more a reflection of them than it is on you.

    So, good on you to choose to ignore that and focus on the positive! That’s a good lesson we all need to remember.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Outside Looking InMy Profile

    • It’s a hard lesson to learn. But, I don’t like the idea of giving the negative that much power. 

  12. why do we allow ourselves to be so focused on the negative stuff. I will obsess over it. I am going to keep this post in mind next time I start “circling the drain” with my negative thinking. thanks for a great post !
    annemarie (@YLMBreadless) recently posted..TouchMy Profile

    • I don’t know- but it’s usually the negative that sticks out. Trying to get over that. And glad I did this weekend!

  13. This is a great post and so so true. It is so easy to focus in on the negative. Why is it so hard for us to accept compliments or to believe the positive stuff? I’m starting to learn and be better about focusing my energy on constructive people and things rather than dwelling on the negative. Hard but a work in progress.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Lessons from Ski SchoolMy Profile

    • Oh, I know. People compliment and we basically brush it off. But one negative and we never forget it. It’s not right.

  14. I try really hard to stay positive, but sometimes it’s difficult. I’m sure we’ve all had those days when everything seems to go wrong…
    Sandy
    momof12 recently posted..The Blue and Gold BanquetMy Profile

    • There are some days that are just hard. 

      But, for the majority of the time, I want to try to keep this attitude. 

  15. This is such a great reminder. This world is too full of negativity as it is. Focusing on it, dwelling in on and it and trying to prove yourself to someone is just not worth it. We all know how awesome you are. :) Glad you had a great time! 
    Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Losing Your Integrity to CompetitionMy Profile

  16. Really don’t understand people like that. What a waste of time they are. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
    Sela Toki recently posted..Not So Over The Hill: So not the business!My Profile

  17. Inspiring words to remember!
    Raw Thoughts And Feelings recently posted..The Way It Was and IsMy Profile

  18. I try VERY hard to let go of the negative – but often it is easier said then done. On those times when I am having a harder time with it, I often just surround myself with “known” friends as you did.

    Sounds like you had a wonderful time (minus the one negative nellie) at Blissdom!
    Kate F. (@katefineske) recently posted..A Blustery DayMy Profile

    • I realized that it wouldn’t be fair to make all the positive be less important than a little negative. I had a blast! 

  19. so true in life.  often reminding myself and others…it’s impossible to like everyone and be liked by everyone… but life is so much better when you gravitate towards both the people you like and the ones that like you.
    Oka recently posted..PMM ~ Couldn’t be prouderMy Profile

    • Exactly. There is no way that everyone will like me. I’m okay with that. But, I can’t make a negative reaction be more important than the love I was seeing. 

  20. Good for you for acknowledging it and moving on! Not so much on my blog, but this resonates with me in real life. I hate it when I feel like people don’t like me, even if I don’t particularly care for them! It’s during those times we need to draw our true friend closer and ignore the Negative Nelly (but tell me who she is anyway. I’ll beat her up for you :-))
    Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..PYHO: When He Breaks Your Child’s HeartMy Profile

    • IRL is harder. I’ve gotten over blogging stuff. That delete button comes in handy. ;) 

      Btw, when the heck are we ever going to meet????

  21. Thanks Shell, I needed this reminder this morning. And it DOES apply as much to ‘real life’ as it does to blogging. Though in some cases, it does overlaps, causing friction within friendships, at least in my world. I fight to remind myself that for every dozen readers who may nod their head in agreement, there will be one who groans in disgust. And that’s okay. We can’t be everything to everyone. We can only be ourselves and hope for the best.

    Cheers to you!
    Vinobaby recently posted..Mouth Misery. Again.My Profile

  22. It is so easy to give the negative words power. You are so right they don’t have to have any power at all.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Odds Are JDaniel Will Have Another Lion BirthdayMy Profile

  23. I am all about the positives, in real life and on my blog. I can’t get caught up in the negatives. If you don’t like me, don’t like me. It’s fine. I probably don’t like you either.
    Making It Work Mom recently posted..Basket CaseMy Profile

  24. Oh, yes! I am soooo guilty of focusing on the negative on alot of things. Focusing on the negative seems natural to me. I really have to be intentional to focus on the positive. It is truly amazing how 1 little negative thing can out shadow 100 really positive things! Thanks for the reminder and food for thought!

    • It isn’t fair to those who are being kind to us, if we diminish their words/actions because of one negative. 

  25. Maybe that one will read this and realize who they are, then have guilt for their behavior. Probably not because people like that don’t think that they are doing anything wrong. What is even sadder is they had a friend to play the game with. I am glad you chose to focus on the ones who knew your worth and not the one who was jealous of it.
    Angel recently posted..I can honestly say I am ashamed of my hometown today.My Profile

    • I sincerely doubt the one will. And that wasn’t my intention- just more an example of the larger principle. I never want to ignore the positive thanks to some small negative part. It’s hard though- that one can stick out and eat away at me… but it’s not fair to let that be more important.

  26. That is true.  When we talk to parents its always a rule of thumb to have 3 positives for every 1 negative you may tell them about their child.  Really makes you think!
    Julie recently posted..Bachelor Ben Night 9My Profile

  27. This is so true!! I have a hard time with this one, and negative comments are burned into my brain so much more strongly than positive ones (in life, mostly, I am not a big enough blogger to attract any negative commenters!) Great topic, and a great reminder in life.
    jenn @ so this is love recently posted..FollowMy Profile

  28. I don’t know why I always let the negative stay with me.  I really need to focus more on the positive.
    Barbara @ Footprints in France recently posted..Self-Righteous MotherMy Profile

    • So many of us do this. I can tell you negative things from YEARS ago. Ugh. need to let it all go. 

  29. OMG! You are such a sweet heart that I cannot imagine someone rolling their eyes at you. Unless you were trying to flash Joe Jonas or something… LOL! Seriously though, this post has a great message. Thank you so much for sharing!!
    Teresa recently posted..fear and faith (pouring my heart out)My Profile

    • Well, had it been when Rascal Flatts was on and I was trying to work my way to the front, I’d deserve some eyerolls.

      For the record, I sat in the back and complained about Joe Jonas being way too loud. LOL

  30. This post hit home for me; not so much for focusing on the negative but because I get caught up in wanting everyone to like me and be my friend. That’s just not going to happen, but it always hurts me. I forget that I have family and friends who love me for who I am, who are proud of me and there for me, and who only roll their eyes out of love (not disdain) for me. I’m glad you were savvy enough to put up a barrier and not let the negative attention in. Interesting post!
    Pamela recently posted..Wishing for the Right Words: Dead End Conflicts with Dangerous Drivers and Unruly KidsMy Profile

    • We all want to be liked. But, I’m okay with the fact that not everyone will like me… and refusing to let them be important. 

  31. I’m pretty emotional today for some reason (really, it isn’t hormones) and this brought tears to my eyes. I tend to live my life like this. I get so consumed about that one negative person, comment, behavior…that I tend to let the sunshine out of my days. Since Lent began I have been trying to prioritize things in my life and let things go. I realized I am one of those people who can make my whole family miserable if I am miserable. I want them to be happy. I want them to focus on the positive. This post couldn’t come at a better time or as a better reminder. Thank you! xo!
    Kristen recently posted..Missing The Moments…My Profile

  32. Thanks so much for hosting Shell! I look forward to pouring it all out every single week! Have a great Wednesday.

  33. I can’t believe someone treated you so poorly. Both on your blog and in real life. Just think though, how miserable must that person be to act like that towards another? Maybe she is filled with jealousy that you’re so awesome, sweet and amazing! :P (A bit thankful I wasn’t at Blissdom so you know it wasn’t me.) LoL
    Cindi recently posted..Seeing is believingMy Profile

  34. Powerful message here! I get caught up in the negative too. This is such a great reminder that doing that is such a waste of time! LOVE this and love you! <3 
    Adrienne recently posted..SealedMy Profile

  35. I try to ignore the negative, especially online. The people that opinions matter most are those I share a house with.
    Kim recently posted..Replacement for Picnik?My Profile

  36. Great post. Thanks for sharing. I don’t know why the negative is always easier to believe, but it is. Negative kept me from blogging for a few months, but then I realized that by censoring myself I was giving the negative so much power, power it didn’t deserve. Still hard to put myself out there though. I am such a people pleaser.
    Jenn recently posted..My HeartMy Profile

  37. I try so hard to focus on the positive, at least in the moment. Still, the negative things are often the ones my mind drifts to in the quiet moments, and I’m trying to change that.
    angela recently posted..A Few Steps BehindMy Profile

  38. Okay, seriously? I have a hard time believing there’s a single person who doesn’t absolutely adore you. Want me to run her over? :P 
    Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] recently posted..WW: SquashMy Profile

  39. Thats something i have been learning. For my own sanity. Its so much better to concentrate on the positive. Great post as always
    imperfectmomma recently posted..Really? It’s on!My Profile

  40. I hate assholes. And somebody who has the nerve to be so rude face to face ? I say to them BLARGH. I’m afraid I’m so used to provoking that angry response face to face that I’m shocked that I haven’t run into it yet with my blog. I’m so bluntly honest, it’s coming sooner or later.
    Jessie Powell recently posted..Studio TimeMy Profile

  41. This piece of advice can be used even in everyday life. After reading your post it make me think about what my sister in law told me. “You can’t let some one elses negativity ruin your day or week. They certainly are not thinking about you, so why give them your time thinking about them. Let it go. :)

    Good advice.
    Tiffany recently posted..PYHO: Time ManagementMy Profile

  42. That is so true though. It’s great advice!
    MiMi recently posted..Smile!My Profile

  43. Oh, sweet Shell.  I had one of those experiences, too.  And it lives in my heart still.  And all through the weekend I kept going back to that moment, even in the middle of much happier moments.  I still felt the sting of that encounter, the bitterness of it.  And you put it so beautifully – there’s still a tiny part of me that wants to prove myself as worthy.
    Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Finding My Writing BlissMy Profile

    • I’m so sorry you had that happen! You are SO sweet. Whoever did that- it was their loss to not get to spend time with you. xo 

  44. I didn’t get to go to Blissdom but what you just described about choosing to ignore that one negative person out of 100 positive people is so true! Some people are just very jealous. Some people want to be in the lime light all the time and can’t handle it when someone else is. I’m so proud of you for not letting that one negative person ruin your blogging weekend! You rock Shell and if anyone treats you badly, you let me know and I’ll send my big, fat Italian family after them :P
    Bruna recently posted..Fashion File # 3 : The Zoey Deschanel EditionMy Profile

  45. Jon Acuff’s keynote was one of the most memorable parts of Blissdom for me too. It’s hard not to let the negatives in life speak in a louder voice than the positives, huh?
    MaryLauren@My3LittleBirds recently posted..The Chance to Love HimMy Profile

  46. Such a great reminder! I found myself focusing on that one person who was a tiny bit rude to me over the weekend – and what a waste that was! I’m much happier remembering the amazing women, the uplifting and hilarious conversations, and the pure joy that made the whole conference for me. Thanks for this post.
    Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect recently posted..Our Top 10 Favorite Children’s Books {for now}My Profile

    • Those amazing people? They are so much more important that the one rude one. I’m sorry you had that experience, though.

  47. OMG. I’m dying to know who treated you like that so that I can A.) kick her ass, and B.) make sure that I don’t give her the time of day.

    So glad to hear that you had a great time!
    Mary recently posted..Mom Sexy Fridays: Where Did My Sexy Go?My Profile

    • Oh, you crack me up! One of these days, we need to be at a conference or girls’ weekend together(I’m sort of voting for girls’ weekend!) 

      Love you! xo 

  48. It’s so simple and important a lesson, but yet so hard to follow. We shouldn’t have to prove ourselves to anyone – that we should already be good enough, but alas, there are people in this world who are unhappy and like nothing more than to judge others!

  49. Seriously? Someone took the time to roll their eyes at you? What the hell? You were having a blast the entire conference, from what I saw, so don’t let one jealous hater put a damper on your weekend. We all need to let our hair down and have fun.

    I was too busy napping & eating to notice if anyone rolled their eyes at me.

    It was great to meet you!
    Dana K recently posted..Staying BusyMy Profile

    • I think I needed to find more time to nap. I ended up back in the room by about midnight or so every night instead of being out too late. 

      I had a blast and it was great to meet you! 

  50. Excellent perspective, Shell! I’m going to tuck this away for whenever negativity comes my way. I’m not going to let it matter more than all the good, positive stuff in my life.
    HopefulLeigh recently posted..This Is How We Met: Annie Wolfe’s StoryMy Profile

  51. I needed this today! Thanks for sharing and always being honest and open.  I have a tendency to let that one negative person/comment/remark effect me way more than it should. It’s so important to focus on the positive and not on the negative, but it is also so hard at times! Thanks for the insight and I am so glad you were able to focus on the positive and had a wonderful time with friends!

  52. I’m with Dana – I can’t imagine someone rolling her eyes at you. 

    This is a great point, and one we should all remember. Harder to do in person than in blogland, though! 
    Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Blissdom Travel in PicturesMy Profile

    • blogland, we have a delete button. ;) 

      The eyeroll wasn’t even when I was trying to shove my way to the front for Rascal Flatts- I totally would have deserved it then! LOL

  53. Glad that one negative person didn’t spoil Blissdom for you!
    Carolyn recently posted..Crossing My FingersMy Profile

  54. and you didn’t tell me and let me eviscerate them with my British accent in a way that they were not sure just whether or not they had been insulted?
    ack … really?
    I heart you a plenty – as you well know!
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Bliss!My Profile

    • That was very tempting. But talking about it would have given it much more importance than it actually had. 

  55. Really? I’m really surprised this happened to you. If I was going, which I doubt I ever would, but I would see you as one person people would beg to spend time with. Sorry this happened to you. Sorry this chic hasn’t got a clue and still acts like she is in freakin middle school. It is hard to not get caught up in the negative because the negative is harder to express and you always search for truth in it. Even if there is nothing to be seen but someone’s jealousy. xo
    Tayarra recently posted..Our Sunday in picsMy Profile

  56. This is exactly what I needed to read today. I font get caught up in negative comments, but I sometimes have a hard time with the clique thing that happens in the blogosphere. So much so, that I sometimes feel like giving it up.
    Practical Parenting recently posted..When Children GrieveMy Profile

    • Don’t ever feel like that. You are amazing. 

      Don’t let the negative have that much power. xo 

  57. I’m glad you had a good time and chose to see and enjoy the positive instead of the negative.  There’s always one though, isn’t there?
    Kmama recently posted..Things that Make Me Smile: FebruaryMy Profile

  58. This is such a powerful message to remember in so many circumstances.  I know that I tend to be guilty of letting the negatives overtake me and missing seeing the positives.  I have been working hard recently to change that, and I makes a huge difference in all aspects of my life.
    Aramelle {One Wheeler’s World} recently posted..{Project: Wheelerize} Finally, It BeginsMy Profile

  59. Who done it? (I’m kidding, I promise!)

    But seriously, well said. I kind of wrote about something similar, re: getting rid of toxic people in our lives, and this strikes me as along the same lines. When someone is like that it’s ON THEM. They have the issue, not you. And so it goes. I’m glad you had a blast and learned to AXE-EN-CHOO-ATE the positives. xox
    Andrea recently posted..Thinking it throughMy Profile

    • LMAO! Who is definitely not the point. ;) 

      It really was a blast! I’ll see you in June, right? 

  60. I was struck with that same message throughout the conference. And while this year I didn’t have a negative experience… I know I did last year when something similar happened to me (the person literally got up and walked away from me after I introduced myself.) 

    We can’t let the negative over-run us… and even in my own self, I’ve been seeing myself turn more negative internally recently. I caught myself a few times at BlissDom saying thing – and then had friends (like you) correct me and tell me how beautiful I really am. That is my next fight… to fight the negative nelly inside of me.

    You are beautiful – and you said this all beautifully. We can’t let the negative ones drag us down.
    Julie @DutchBeingMe recently posted..#PinterestChallenge: Week 26…My Profile

    • I didn’t realize some idiot did that to you. They are missing out. Because you are such an amazing person. xo 

  61. That line of his was impact-ful to me, too. You really made a positive impact on my Blissdom. I saw women engaging in negativity. They must have missed out on such a Blessing.
    Maggie S. recently posted..A (nother) Break In the ActionMy Profile

    • I don’t get the negative, I really don’t. It wasn’t what we were there for! 

      Glad that you found me when I fb’ed where I was! That was one moment when I couldn’t leave- my awful wet hair. LOL 

  62. Why do I not have that paper mouth?

    My work days are obviously sorely lacking.
    Megan – Best of Fates recently posted..Project Life Returns (Week Three) *EDITED*My Profile

  63. This is so very true! Why do we let one negative thing outweigh tons of positive feedback? It’s b/c no one likes hearing negative comments and so it bugs us. But like you said we have the choice to dwell on it or to just move on and just focus on the positive.
    Natalie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday-Just a Swingin’My Profile

    • I hate hearing the negative. So, I’m trying not to give it power. Will be something I’m reminding myself of over and over again, I’m sure. 

  64. Such a great post Shell! Letting go of the negative can be so hard, but you have to try and thrive from it. At least that is what I try and do.
    Jenny recently posted..Just a few phone pics…My Profile

  65. Someone really rolled their eyes at you? Pathetic!
    Carri recently posted..I (Barely) Survived #Blissdom 2012My Profile

    • And it wasn’t even when I was knocking people over to get to Rascal Flatts. I deserved it then. 

  66. I used to focus on the little negative things that would needle at me, but not any more. I’m learning to let go. Glad you can too. Actually, why on earth would anyone roll their eyes at you??
    Just Jennifer recently posted..How I Like Me NowMy Profile

  67. It’s so easy to get caught up in the negative…

    I need to work on that myself.
    Teresa recently posted..Reality {PYHO}My Profile

  68. Occasionally I will focus on the negative but after living for years in a very negative way I decided to really really try to focus on the positive things in my life and it has really paid off.  I relapse sometimes and it isn’t always easy to ignore that negative but I try.
    stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..La MerMy Profile

  69. WHO in the would would have something not nice to say about YOU?  Don’t answer that, I don’t even want to know.  

    And for the message, A.M.E.N. Sister – so true.  In all of life, including blogging!
    Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..Ask Literal Mom – Bringing the HammerMy Profile

  70. That is absolutely brilliant. Really. How much do we let those negative comments sink their teeth right into the pit of our beings…when there have been a gazillion positive ones? Thank you so much for sharing this. Such an important message.
    Kimberly recently posted..The Kid Who Won’t QuitMy Profile

    • It really is ridiculous to ignore the majority just because of one negative. Not a good way to live.

  71. For me it really depends on what the negative is. Any implication that I’m not a good mom really sticks with me – I think we focus on the things where we feel most vulnerable.

    So glad you had a blast at Blissdom!
    KLZ recently posted..Bloggers Worst Dressed #iPPPMy Profile

    • That’s very true.

      It’s much easier for me to blow off a negative if I don’t see much behind it.  But see me on a day when one of my boys is having a rough time and judge me for it and I take it really hard. 

  72. You are a smart, smart woman.  I am learning that even more each time I read another one of your posts. :-) 
    Jen@ADropintheBucket recently posted..Challenge Wednesday #23: Its time for an adventureMy Profile

  73. YES, girl. So very VERY true this all is. I have a hard time sometimes letting go of the negative. I can’t understand why this one person doesn’t like me but then we can’t be everything to everyone all of the time. I think it’s most important that we are true to ourselves and in doing so, we’ll meet people who love/appreciate us just as we are.

    That one negative nelly won’t make a difference in your life years down the road. But the others? The ones you laughed, danced, enjoyed dinner and cocktails with? They’re the ones you want to hang on to and form lasting friendships with.

    Thanks for this, Shell. Sometimes we all just need a reminder :)
    Charlotte recently posted..the numbers gameMy Profile

  74. It sounds like you had a great time! I wish I could’ve gone. I’m glad you didn’t let the one negative drag you down :-)
    Lisa @ Two Bears Farm recently posted..February 2012 Fitness RecapMy Profile

    • It was so much fun!

      Will you be at Type A again? I hope so- though we need to plan a dinner or something so we get more time to talk! 

  75. Sometimes it’s harder to be positive than negative and it takes a great effort, and a concentrated effort to do that. It’s so worth it though, that positivity tends to take over and make everything better!!! :)
    Sarah recently posted..PYHO: A Tough TopicMy Profile

    • So much effort to be positive. At least, at this point. I want it to become natural. 

  76. Oh yes. Don’t worry about her at all. Just come sit by me and we will whisper about her. ;)
    Jennifer recently posted..I love Zumba!My Profile

    • LMAO!!!

      I actually refrained while I was there b/c I didn’t want to be just as bad. ;)

  77. So sorry that happened. It is so easy to get caught up and remember that one negative. To try and stop myself from doing that– I remind myself if I let it bother me then they are winning and they are getting what they want. I want to win! So I will not allow them to beat me- I realize who I am and move on… or at least try really hard to
    Emmy recently posted..Design My Living Room For MeMy Profile

    • That’s it exactly- I didn’t want her to win. I didn’t want to give her so much power that she could ruin my fun. 

  78. I read this earlier this am & thought I left a comment… Lol. I checked back to read some of the others & I can’t find what I wrote. I guess I hit a wrong button. In any case, I applaud you for making a conscious choice to remain positive & be true to yourself. Sadly there is always one who would like to try to spoil it for the rest of us!!! Only they wind up looking like an idiot & you… Wind up shinning like a rock star!! 
    Kate recently posted..WordPresser Documents Her Mission to Overcome AgoraphobiaMy Profile

  79. That is really excellent advice. Thank you for sharing!
    KeAnne recently posted..Family TreasuresMy Profile

  80. Outstanding advice.  We all need to focus on the positive more.  Thanks, Shell.  And I’m glad that you had a great time. 
    Leigh Powell Hines (@Hinessightblog) recently posted..Every Day Needs to Be a Spa Day: My Heavenly Experience at the Spa at BallantyneMy Profile

  81. I swear I’m going to post that in the office! That was one of my biggest takeaways from Blissdom too.
    Natalie recently posted..My First Blissdom Experience: Blissdom 2012My Profile

    • Wasn’t the keynote awesome? I think I could write a month of PYHOs just from takeaways from it.

  82. It’s often really hard to not let the negative get to me but really, the one negative person shouldn’t be allowed to trump the 100 positive people. 

    And I missed the opening keynote because um, it was early for me so I’m glad that you posted some of what he talked about. ;) 
    Jessica recently posted..Hey Girl…The #Blissdom 2012 ExperienceMy Profile

  83. So, so true! It is always the one negative that is hard to get out of my mind. This year I’m trying to make an effort to stay away from those people that just don’t “get” me. It is just not worth the effort. I’m glad you had a great trip!
    Created In His Image recently posted..My Friends At Poison Control…My Profile

  84. Great post.  And ouch on the cattiness you may have felt at #blissdom.

    Besides the fact, by the sounds of it you have an amazing support system of ladies who support, love, and adore you.  And like the speaker said, much better to think of the positive over the negative.  I’d rather be lifted up than brought down any day. 
    Jamie recently posted..#Jetset Social!My Profile

  85. I’m glad you chose to move right along and not let this twit impact what a great time you were having. I’ve been living life for a while with the Carpe Diem motto. Seize the day {moment, minute, etc.} I recently dumped a friend because she was just a pile of negative. Just being around her was exhausting. So – gone! Life’s too short, ya know.

    p.s. if I ever saw someone whisper about me? Or roll their eyes? I’d probably call them out. Right there. And loudly. Cuz I’m vocal like that.
    MommaKiss recently posted..Almost Wordless Wednesday-CompensatingMy Profile

    • It just doesn’t seem worth it to fight to keep such a negative person in our lives.

      I went to bed on Saturday b/c I was DONE with it all. One more drink I’d have been confronting. 

  86. Love this post! So very, very true. I tend to focus on the negative and I shouldn’t. I should mention that I am jealous of you 1) going to Blissdom and 2) meeting Rascall Flatts! Squee!!
    Lynsey recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Carpool confessionsMy Profile

  87. good advice! Kinda like that mind over matter saying as well.
    brittney recently posted..complete happiness!My Profile

  88. I hate that you had that moment, my friend.
    If I had been there, I would have been glued to your side and you might have needed to call security to peel me off you. Just sayin.

    Great message here…one that we all need to remember. 
    Much love, Shell. xo
    Nichole recently posted..Next Up, HoardersMy Profile

    • I wish you had been there! I’d love to meet you. Dang being on opposite coasts! 

  89. I don’t believe that one person could not like you.  I just don’t believe it.  
    Melissa @ Completely Eclipsed recently posted..Rainy Day FunMy Profile

    • Ha! thank you, but I think it was second grade when I made peace with the fact that it’s impossible to have everyone like me. ;) 

  90. the negative sticks…oh yeah…
    and a lot of the time it’s because I don’t get why they’re so freaking crazy…

    and that? is one of the reasons I stay home all jealous like…
    Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..The WishboneMy Profile

    • You should really go to one of these! The positives really do outweigh the negatives.

  91. Wow. I need constant reminders to look for the positives.
    I focus, way to easily, on the negative and sometimes it takes a while to get out of that negative mind frame. Thanks for reminding me.

    • I can think of negative things said to me from years ago. But I realized I don’t hang on to the positive like that and perhaps I need to adjust my way of thinking.

  92. This is so true, and yet sometimes hard to do. I’ll admit it, I sometimes do focus on the one negative and forget the positive. I’m working on it though…baby steps!
    Eve recently posted..When a Toddler Learns Cause and EffectMy Profile

  93. It is SO hard to do but to ensure our happiness I guess we must learn to focus on the positive over the negative. I always try to think that everyone has their own unique past that shapes the way they think and act today and I have no way of knowing their story–nor do they know mine. It does allow me to be a little more sympathetic to people who are grouchy, angry, b*tchy…but it isn’t any easier!
    Christine recently posted..Letters to My Younger Self: Life with GirlsMy Profile

    • So true. We don’t know- but when it’s obviously directed at one person and one only, that changes it a bit. But, since I couldn’t change it, I chose not to focus on it.

  94. I’m new here, so I haven’t poured my heart out about anything yet, but I want to say that I love this idea. We should definitely focus on the positive! This is a great idea! Hopefully I will be able to participate in the future!
    Anjie recently posted..Take me back …My Profile

  95. Very wise words, Shell.  I understand the feeling of wanting to try to get someone to like you.  I’m trying to learn for myself to be okay when someone doesn’t like me.  But rolling eyes and whispering?  I’d like to kick that person in the shins who was rude to you!  Oh, wait, I’m going to try to go back to being positive…..I think you’re awesome, Shell.  Thanks for being you!
    Recovering Supermom recently posted..In a Funk? How to Feel BetterMy Profile

  96. such a great outlook to always remember! i used to do a lot of mass marketing for a big company and my boss would always be upset if we got one or two negative reactions on something we did – but i was always like, that’s out of a million people! i can’t believe only 8 people didn’t like it.

    clearly, i may be too glass full for my own good!
    Anna recently posted..What Would the Lorax Do?My Profile

  97. I can’t believe that anyone could have a bad thing to say about you but I’m so glad you were able to not let it get to you. I have a terrible time with that. I always get stuck on the one person who doesn’t seem to like me rather than the others that do.
    Jessica recently posted..FacesMy Profile

  98. How did I not already comment on this?

    I try so hard to not get caught up in the negative, but at times I do. I can’t help but want to explain myself to the haters or try to turn around the opinion off someone that is being awful to someone else. BUT, as I get older I try to remember exactly what you just said. Life is too short to give too much time and energy to the negative. I can’t imagine someone not liking you, not that I have met you in person. I’m glad it didn’t dampen your fun there!
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..I Might Make Really Good Pot Roast – Seriously, It’s a Recipe-IshMy Profile

    • Oh, I know. I think if only I could talk  to them and figure out why… but I realized I can’t spend all my time doing that. That makes one person more important than the others.

  99. Thank you for the reminder… this is SO very important.

    I’m glad you enjoyed your Blissdom experience, despite the negativity you encountered.

    xoxo
    Tonya recently posted..If I Had Known…My Profile

  100. Sounds like a great time! Yes, why is it that ONE negative always sticks with us? 
    xo
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..Questions Answered…My Profile

  101. nicely said :)

  102. I’m so this way–I can have a ton of people telling me I’m wonderful but that one person who makes me feel so small…that’s all I can think about. You’ve challenged me to focus on the positive more. And btw, I can’t imagine anyone treating you that way. So uncool, but so unnecessary.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Monday Listicles: *Shocker* I’m Not PerfectMy Profile

  103. So true!  Why is it that the negative seems to be amplified?  And sometimes even the lack of a positive feedback can come across as negative?  Good for you on making the intentional choice to focus on the positive.

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