4 Crazy Texts When Mom Is Away

pretty fruity drink

Parenting: Alcohol required

When you leave your husband with your kids for five days, you might get some pretty funny text messages while you are gone.

By the way, there is not enough alcohol in our house. No, no, honey, there never is.

Chuck E Cheese is CrAzY. Need alcohol. Actually, I think they serve beer… Which prompted this response:

If you order beer at Chuck E Cheese, they always card you. So they can take down your info and report you to DSS. It’s a trap! It probably is. That’s why I refuse to go to Chuck E Hell.

Is there such a thing as alcohol delivery service? There should be. Genius. A subscription to this service would be a perfect baby shower gift. Or Mother’s Day.

I think maybe I need to go away more often.

It’s nice when Hubs realizes just how hard this parenting thing is.


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  1. oh that is fabulous!  So So TRUE!
    Leah aka FFPMaMMa recently posted..Announcing: "Spreadin’ The Word" featureMy Profile

  2. Lesson #1:  NO CEC!!  I woulda needed a six pack after that… ;-P
    Elaine recently posted..In the Silence / Miss Elaine-ous MondayMy Profile

  3. Ha! My husband said the same thing about there not being enough alcohol in our house. Although its probably due to the fact I drank it all while dealing with these screaming boys. So good to meet you this weekend, wish we would have had more time to chat. 
    Jessica recently posted..Pure Bliss BabyMy Profile

  4. That drink looks delicious :)
    Pish Posh recently posted..Oscar Night: Hollywood’s YesteryearMy Profile

  5. Hah! I’m sure the husband now has a new appreciation for what you do, day in day out :)
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..How Love WorksMy Profile

  6. I hope you had a blast!

  7. LOL! My husband just takes up residence on the couch when I’m gone. It’s nice to get away though. 
    SarahB @ Not Just a Baker recently posted..Join the Crock-Pot Challenge!My Profile

  8. I’m with you! I’ve never been away (other than in the hospital to have more babies) for more than a couple of hours. And during that time I get all sorts of weird texts. There are days I wish I didn’t have a cell phone. Hope you are having fun!
    momof12 recently posted..LIttle Bits of This and ThatMy Profile

  9. An realizes that you actually do keep everything running like a well-oiled machine… a chaotic one, but well-oiled none-the-less! Probably why I ended up pregnant the night I came home the one time I left my ex with the baby for a few days!
    Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..Tag, You’re It!My Profile

  10. Question is how long will he appreciate “how hard this parenting thing is”?  As soon as mine returns to his regular routine, he forgets.
    Oka recently posted..PMM ~ Couldn’t be prouderMy Profile

  11. Those texts are great. I LOVE when my husband realizes how hard my job is. He had the two year old at the car dealer with him last week and text me to say there was a “poo-plosion” and wanted to know what he should do because he was stuck waiting in the dealership. All I could think was “welcome to my world, Honey.”
    So glad you got time away!
    Jessica recently posted..On Being an Autism ParentMy Profile

  12. I am glad things weren’t so crazy that he didn’t have time to text.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Muffin Tin Monday-Leap Year SnackMy Profile

  13. Hilarious! Love the idea of an alcohol delivery service! Never go to chuck e cheese…that place is CRAZY!
    Jenny recently posted..I Can’t Believe You are 4!My Profile

  14. I hope you had a great time and didn’t come home to too many disasters! I often dream of starting a wine truck that would cruise around the neighborhood selling wine by the glass or bottle. It would follow the ice cream truck around and have it’s own awesome jingle to lure everyone out!
    NJ @ A Pocket Full Of Dinosaurs recently posted..This is what….My Profile

  15. So funny!
    Rachee recently posted..Bertolli. It’s What’s for Dinner.My Profile

  16. Ha ha this is hilarious! I bet you were having a great time laughing as you read these texts! Hope you had a great time at the conference!
    Natalie recently posted..Oh Weekend, Where Did You Go?My Profile

  17. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve told my husband there should be an alcohol delivery service.  It could be just like my favorite pizza place where you give them your phone number and they can pull up your last order and ask if you want the same thing again! “Would you like the 2 liter Chi Chi’s Margarita, a bottle of Oliver Winery sangria, and a pint of Evan Williams honey whiskey again, ma’am?”  “No, thanks, my cold’s all cleared up, you can leave off the honey whiskey.”  “Alright, we’ll be there in ten minutes!”  HEAVEN!  My husband keeps telling me it’s illegal, but I really don’t see how.  
    Angie recently posted..Quietness and ConfidenceMy Profile

  18. oh thats just so awesome!
    imperfectmomma recently posted..where I liveMy Profile

  19. LOL Love to hear the things men worry about when we are away!! I hope you had an AMAZING time:)
    SassyModernMom recently posted..My House Smells of Dog Vomit and Mom FailMy Profile

  20. LoL! At least there were no “SOS: Come home now” or “do you know a good attorney”? (LoL)
    Cindi recently posted..Disecting "Real Marriage"My Profile

  21. This is awesome!  My husband sends me texts like this all the time when he is on kid duty!
    Barbara recently posted..Twenty-five WordsMy Profile

  22. That’s hysterical!  It is nice for them to get a good reality check!  An alcohol delivery service sounds like a great idea.  When people ask me how I do it with four boys under 7 I always say…WINE!  :)  To have it delivered when I realize i’s 6pm and I have nothing left, well that would be FABULOUS!  
    Nicole {at} Modern Style Mama recently posted..Weekly Planner PrintableMy Profile

  23. last time I was away I got this text-”I love you so much and I miss you”
    to which I thought, wow-what a great guy
    then it was immediately followed by “don’t be mad, Hope cut her hair”
    Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..I’m Not Buying It CelineMy Profile

  24. Ha! It is SO good for dads (and moms) to get away.

  25. Hilarious! What a wuss. LOL!
    MiMi recently posted..My Life…InitiallyMy Profile

  26. My husband probably would have done the same thing but believe it or not he can’t text, he’s really really great at take out though.  Can you believe it? lol
    Jen recently posted..he gave me a dirty look, the bastard!My Profile

  27. LOL…… it is good for the goose to get a taste of life from the gander’s perspective!
    I think he write a post and share the adventure: good and bad. ha ha

    When I was in college – there was this delivery service that would go buy your booze and deliver it to you. It’s how the underage set got their beer. Or so I was told anyway :)
    RoryBore recently posted..Manic Monday – PerseveranceMy Profile

  28. I’m glad he had the chance to walk in your shoes (flip flops!) for the weekend :) And thank you for just one more reason to stay far, far away from that mouse-crazy-house. Spending time with you was one of the highlights of my weekend :)

  29. Well, the good thing is that he was able to maintain his sense of humor!!!!
    Helene recently posted..Is your willy bigger than mine?My Profile

  30. Sounds like dad was a tad overwhelmed by the boys this weekend! Hopefully he now has a greater appreciation for all the craziness you deal with on a daily basis. With or without wine!
    Debra recently posted..Reading To Kids Is FUNdamental!My Profile

  31. It’s nice that he gets to experience what it’s really like with kids for a few days. I wonder if I should be expecting the same messages from my hubby when I take off for a weekend soon….

  32. It is nice to be appreciated.
    Jennifer recently posted..#Project365/366, Week 8My Profile

  33. ha,ha! Luckily, the hubs & ex-hub don’t know how to text, so I just get the crazy phone calls! Last year I had gone to Vegas for 5 days. The day before I came home, I got a call at 5 in the morning from Princess Shaney (12) freaking out that she had her first “visitor” (sorry TMI). I told her to go in and wake up her dad so I could talk to him. She hands him the phone, and I am trying to tell him what is going on and the whole time he is going off on her about how if she can’t sleep she should wake him up & not call me. This whole time I am yelling at him to shut up so I can tell him what is going on. Finally I tell him to shut the f&#*^ up & then he yells at me. So, I finally say are you done, are you going to listen to me? She STARTED her (well you know). That is the best way to get a man to shut up, lol. Then he starts freaking out,  “what do I do? I don’t know what to do!” Calm down, go to my house, I have stuff there. I will call the hubs and let him know that you are on your way, then you don’t have to go to the store.” 
    The best part, I was 500 miles away and the dad & step-dad HAD to deal with the trauma!!! Way too good. 

  34. Those are great! Did you get any picture texts too? I get them when I’m gone and I love seeing how the girls are dressed, or how messy their hair is…. :)
    Carolyn recently posted..Lemon Lentil Soup {Recipe + Giveaway}My Profile

  35. Oh I love it when they admit how tough it is! Its not as easy being home all day as some people may think! 
    Kierstyn recently posted..The Truth About MeMy Profile

  36. That’s hysterical! Sounds a trip to the liquor store is in order!
    Melissa {momcomm} recently posted..All the Details about Momcomm’s New Content Planning CourseMy Profile

  37. An alcohol delivery service is GENIUS!!!
    Nicole recently posted..The Anti-Clean Plate ClubMy Profile

  38. HAHA! Is he alive? Good for you for getting away. I hope you had a blast!! :)
    Adrienne recently posted..5 Tips for Homeschooling with an Age GapMy Profile

  39. They can never handle it! Loved this post!!!
    Anna recently posted..Really now, why do we date?My Profile

  40. My hubby has worked for Dept. of Children’s Svcs. for 17+ years, and he thinks it is perfectly acceptable to have a beer at Chuck E. Cheese. In fact, he highly encourages it. Glad everyone survived!
    Vinobaby recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Pura VidaMy Profile

  41. They just don’t get it do they? Hahaha. I was sick for three days. OMG he was dying. He couldn’t believe I kept going upstairs! I was SICK!
    Lourie recently posted..What’s Your Opinion?My Profile

  42. My husband doesn’t get it.  Probably because he has NEVER watched them longer than 8 hours straight and it takes longer than that for them to decide how to push someone’d buttons :)

    Hope you enjoyed Blissdom and you kid free weekend.
    Stephanie recently posted..A new one and an old (but good) oneMy Profile

  43. Now he knows what you go through on an hourly basis!
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Monday Listicles: Class DismissedMy Profile

  44. And that is why I am oh so thankful that in my Canadian neck of the woods we do not have a Chuck E Cheese. We do have alcohol delivery though…kidding.
    Kimberly recently posted..When You Can’t Write It On Your Blog, You Can Write It Here. Always. Happy Period.My Profile

  45. I love it!!  It is so nice when they get a little slice of our reality.

     I’m meeting a friend out of town this weekend.  Whenever I do go away I purposely leave the refrigerator completely stocked but yet missing something completely vital (such as milk).  It looks like an innocent oversight, but it’s really just my evil side making sure the weekend isn’t too easy on him.  Running to the grocery store with two kids is required to truly get a little taste of my reality.  He may be on to me, though, so this time maybe I’ll leave a little laundry!  

    Hope you enjoyed your {well-deserved} time away!!!
    Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. recently posted..Dinner this week.My Profile

  46. Ha! So true! I had some similar texts this weekend while I was at Blissdom too. My response? Welcome to my world, honey.

    Maybe this will make them appreciate our lack of sanity a bit more!

  47. The alcohol delivery service is what husband’s are for. They get the alcohol and bring it home. Guess it doesn’t work to well when mom is out of town and the husband is in charge. 
    Jessica recently posted..I Have My Monster MomentsMy Profile

  48. This made me laugh out loud!

    I have never been to Chuck E. Hell before and don’t plan on it. :)

    Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Blissdom.
    Tonya recently posted..24 EnvelopesMy Profile

    • I tell my kids only Grandma Helen(mil) can take them there. I hate that place.

      I don’t know if I’ll ever get a real wrap up done for Blissdom. Will post pics soon, though. 

      While Blissdom doesn’t exactly leave you with a concrete list of to-dos like Type A does, it’s inspiring- gives you the idea that you can do so much more… like what Ash and I are now working on. ;) 

  49. I am still laughing to myself after reading this. Just observing my husband every other weekend when he is home with me and the kids makes me laugh, let alone 5 days of being home ALONE with the kids. 
    P.S. Chuck E. Cheese was my first job as a teenager I worked there for 2 days and quit and still haven’t stepped foot back into one. 

  50. I hate chuck e cheese and refuse to go there no matter what… never, ever. Ever. Thank goodness for grandparents!
    Looking forward to what you have to say about your trip to Blissdom!
    Jackie recently posted..Monday Menu ~ CupcakesMy Profile

  51. I think alcohol delivery service is genius! Maybe that would keep more drunks off of the street too.
    Kristen recently posted..My Baby Turned Eight…My Profile

  52. I used to work with a little boy through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.  Chuck E Cheese is total HELL.  I can tell you that on three or four occasions, I would go in to the bathroom there only to find an over-flowing sink clogged with almost half of a frickin’ cake.  How in the hell that happened nearly every time I was there, I have no idea.  So nasty.
    Jen Has A Pen recently posted..CommitmentMy Profile

  53. Hahahaha!!! That is just awesome! I bet he’s glad you’re home :)
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..I’m Still Here…My Profile

  54. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I was gone for more then a couple hours.  I spent the night with my sister at the hospital several months ago and remember getting a few texts.  It’s nice to be appreciated for all you do!
    stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..Nutrisystem & P90XMy Profile

  55. So funny. Glad you had a good time, and they all survived. 
    Leigh Powell Hines (@Hinessightblog) recently posted..Pack Your Bags: We’re Heading to the Ballantyne Hotel and LodgeMy Profile

  56. Alcohol delivery service! I am in if you need a partner.
    Your husband did great, it sounds like. Mine would have just ran to his parents house.
    Kim recently posted..Photo Feedback: Week 3My Profile

  57. —I love me a nice glass or two of Merlot. It’s gotten me thru maaaaaany days !!! Xx
    My Inner Chick recently posted..Don’t Stop BelievingMy Profile

  58. bwhahahahah priceless
    Angel recently posted..WTF With Dazee and ChristyMy Profile

  59. Yes, they do need to appreciate all we do. Love it
    Emmy recently posted..Ten Things to Smile AboutMy Profile

  60. HAHAHAH!!! That’s hysterical :)
    Charlotte recently posted..Just as I amMy Profile

  61. Hee! Love it, Shell!

    And yes, it’s definitely nice for them to better see how it goes! :)
    Galit Breen recently posted..EasyMy Profile

  62. Hahahaha! I think when my hubs is alone with the kids, he focuses more on food.
    Just Jennifer recently posted..How I Like Me NowMy Profile

  63. It is super nice that he realizes how hard it is, isn’t it????
    Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..Ask Literal Mom – Bringing the HammerMy Profile

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