4 Crazy Texts When Mom Is Away

pretty fruity drink

Parenting: Alcohol required

When you leave your husband with your kids for five days, you might get some pretty funny text messages while you are gone.

By the way, there is not enough alcohol in our house. No, no, honey, there never is.

Chuck E Cheese is CrAzY. Need alcohol. Actually, I think they serve beer… Which prompted this response:

If you order beer at Chuck E Cheese, they always card you. So they can take down your info and report you to DSS. It’s a trap! It probably is. That’s why I refuse to go to Chuck E Hell.

Is there such a thing as alcohol delivery service? There should be. Genius. A subscription to this service would be a perfect baby shower gift. Or Mother’s Day.

I think maybe I need to go away more often.

It’s nice when Hubs realizes just how hard this parenting thing is.



  1. says

    Ha! My husband said the same thing about there not being enough alcohol in our house. Although its probably due to the fact I drank it all while dealing with these screaming boys. So good to meet you this weekend, wish we would have had more time to chat. 
    Jessica recently posted..Pure Bliss BabyMy Profile

  2. says

    I’m with you! I’ve never been away (other than in the hospital to have more babies) for more than a couple of hours. And during that time I get all sorts of weird texts. There are days I wish I didn’t have a cell phone. Hope you are having fun!
    momof12 recently posted..LIttle Bits of This and ThatMy Profile

  3. says

    An realizes that you actually do keep everything running like a well-oiled machine… a chaotic one, but well-oiled none-the-less! Probably why I ended up pregnant the night I came home the one time I left my ex with the baby for a few days!
    Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..Tag, You’re It!My Profile

  4. says

    Those texts are great. I LOVE when my husband realizes how hard my job is. He had the two year old at the car dealer with him last week and text me to say there was a “poo-plosion” and wanted to know what he should do because he was stuck waiting in the dealership. All I could think was “welcome to my world, Honey.”
    So glad you got time away!
    Jessica recently posted..On Being an Autism ParentMy Profile

  5. says

    I hope you had a great time and didn’t come home to too many disasters! I often dream of starting a wine truck that would cruise around the neighborhood selling wine by the glass or bottle. It would follow the ice cream truck around and have it’s own awesome jingle to lure everyone out!
    NJ @ A Pocket Full Of Dinosaurs recently posted..This is what….My Profile

  6. says

    I cannot tell you how many times I’ve told my husband there should be an alcohol delivery service.  It could be just like my favorite pizza place where you give them your phone number and they can pull up your last order and ask if you want the same thing again! “Would you like the 2 liter Chi Chi’s Margarita, a bottle of Oliver Winery sangria, and a pint of Evan Williams honey whiskey again, ma’am?”  “No, thanks, my cold’s all cleared up, you can leave off the honey whiskey.”  “Alright, we’ll be there in ten minutes!”  HEAVEN!  My husband keeps telling me it’s illegal, but I really don’t see how.  
    Angie recently posted..Quietness and ConfidenceMy Profile

  7. says

    That’s hysterical!  It is nice for them to get a good reality check!  An alcohol delivery service sounds like a great idea.  When people ask me how I do it with four boys under 7 I always say…WINE!  :)  To have it delivered when I realize i’s 6pm and I have nothing left, well that would be FABULOUS!  
    Nicole {at} Modern Style Mama recently posted..Weekly Planner PrintableMy Profile

  8. says

    LOL…… it is good for the goose to get a taste of life from the gander’s perspective!
    I think he write a post and share the adventure: good and bad. ha ha

    When I was in college – there was this delivery service that would go buy your booze and deliver it to you. It’s how the underage set got their beer. Or so I was told anyway :)
    RoryBore recently posted..Manic Monday – PerseveranceMy Profile

  9. says

    I’m glad he had the chance to walk in your shoes (flip flops!) for the weekend :) And thank you for just one more reason to stay far, far away from that mouse-crazy-house. Spending time with you was one of the highlights of my weekend :)

  10. says

    It’s nice that he gets to experience what it’s really like with kids for a few days. I wonder if I should be expecting the same messages from my hubby when I take off for a weekend soon….

  11. says

    ha,ha! Luckily, the hubs & ex-hub don’t know how to text, so I just get the crazy phone calls! Last year I had gone to Vegas for 5 days. The day before I came home, I got a call at 5 in the morning from Princess Shaney (12) freaking out that she had her first “visitor” (sorry TMI). I told her to go in and wake up her dad so I could talk to him. She hands him the phone, and I am trying to tell him what is going on and the whole time he is going off on her about how if she can’t sleep she should wake him up & not call me. This whole time I am yelling at him to shut up so I can tell him what is going on. Finally I tell him to shut the f&#*^ up & then he yells at me. So, I finally say are you done, are you going to listen to me? She STARTED her (well you know). That is the best way to get a man to shut up, lol. Then he starts freaking out,  “what do I do? I don’t know what to do!” Calm down, go to my house, I have stuff there. I will call the hubs and let him know that you are on your way, then you don’t have to go to the store.” 
    The best part, I was 500 miles away and the dad & step-dad HAD to deal with the trauma!!! Way too good. 

  12. says

    I love it!!  It is so nice when they get a little slice of our reality.

     I’m meeting a friend out of town this weekend.  Whenever I do go away I purposely leave the refrigerator completely stocked but yet missing something completely vital (such as milk).  It looks like an innocent oversight, but it’s really just my evil side making sure the weekend isn’t too easy on him.  Running to the grocery store with two kids is required to truly get a little taste of my reality.  He may be on to me, though, so this time maybe I’ll leave a little laundry!  

    Hope you enjoyed your {well-deserved} time away!!!
    Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. recently posted..Dinner this week.My Profile

  13. says

    Ha! So true! I had some similar texts this weekend while I was at Blissdom too. My response? Welcome to my world, honey.

    Maybe this will make them appreciate our lack of sanity a bit more!

    • Shell says

      I tell my kids only Grandma Helen(mil) can take them there. I hate that place.

      I don’t know if I’ll ever get a real wrap up done for Blissdom. Will post pics soon, though. 

      While Blissdom doesn’t exactly leave you with a concrete list of to-dos like Type A does, it’s inspiring- gives you the idea that you can do so much more… like what Ash and I are now working on. 😉 

  14. says

    I am still laughing to myself after reading this. Just observing my husband every other weekend when he is home with me and the kids makes me laugh, let alone 5 days of being home ALONE with the kids. 
    P.S. Chuck E. Cheese was my first job as a teenager I worked there for 2 days and quit and still haven’t stepped foot back into one. 

  15. says

    I used to work with a little boy through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.  Chuck E Cheese is total HELL.  I can tell you that on three or four occasions, I would go in to the bathroom there only to find an over-flowing sink clogged with almost half of a frickin’ cake.  How in the hell that happened nearly every time I was there, I have no idea.  So nasty.
    Jen Has A Pen recently posted..CommitmentMy Profile