Pour Your Heart Out: Crying Over Burnt Eggs

broken eggs I cried this morning because I burned the scrambled eggs I was making for my husband’s breakfast.

I burned them because I was trying to do too much all at once.

Get three kids dressed, find their shoes, their backpacks, their lunchboxes.

Search the van for a missing backpack.

The van that is a mess, like everything else seems to be.

Because I just can’t get on top of anything these days.

There’s so much running around.

Even though I don’t actually accomplish anything.

Just a never-ending cycle.

This one to school, that one to school, the other to therapy appointments.

Explain why one doesn’t have school, even though he really wants to go.

Know that I need to get him into a school that will help him.

But having no luck getting that done.

Knowing I’m not doing enough.

Feeling like I’m forever behind.

Like I’m tired all the time.

Feeling like I just can’t do this.

So the eggs stay on longer than they should and they burn.

And so I cry over burnt eggs.

Because this is something I can fix.

Throw them in the trash, rinse the pan, start over, and be able to fix it.

So easy. And no one even has to know that I burned the damn eggs in the first place.

If only everything else could be fixed so easily.

 


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Comments

  1. says

    The burnt eggs is always where the tears will come out, that final straw in the string of frustrations. Sorry everything is feeling like too much lately Shell! That is such a painful cycle to be in, and a very tough one to get out of without a lot of time and work.

    I hope it all gets better soon!

    Thanks for hosting PYHO, this is my first time joining up!

    • Shell says

      Plus, it seems easy to explain why it made me upset- unlike everything else.

      Glad you joined in!

  2. says

    I so get this, Shell.

    I really do.

    Being pulled in a million different directions and feeling like you can’t accomplish one tiny thing.

    Things will get better. They will.

    Stay focused on the positive, Mama.

  3. says

    Shell… Sigh. You can slap me after this comment – because you might not be ready to hear “someday” yet… But – I think someday you will be glad you blogged about the worry of things you cannot fix. Because – someday I think they will seem like a distant memory. xoxo my sweet friend. Cry. Everyone needs to sometimes.
    Kristen recently posted..I am So Sorry.. The Letter to the Mother of my ChildrenMy Profile

  4. says

    Oh, ((HUGS)) Mama! My list of things that overwhelm me is slightly different, but the end result is often the same… and I find myself crying over the little thing, because I’m afraid if I cry over the big things, I won’t stop!

    Sending prayers that you find the right place for Bear.
    Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..A Southern Series: FootballMy Profile

  5. says

    I so get this. I always feel like I am playing catch up and never doing my best. It is frustrating and definitely crying over eggs worthy.

    Just yesterday I missed an appointment because I was trying to fit in too much.

    I have resolved this year to get on top of things so when the busy times hit I don’t feel so much chaotic.

    And if your famiy is anything like mine they don’t really care about the mess. Though that actually doesn’t make me feel better.

    Sigh

    Thinking of you…
    Making It Work Mom recently posted..Her "People"My Profile

  6. says

    At least you make your husband eggs!!!! Probably his lunch too….my husband is on his own!! However, I can relate to the hamster wheel that is raising three kids, one with special needs. Just do your best, and that will change on any given day, and pray. thinking of you.

  7. says

    I think you may have figured out why I don’t like cooking. It is just one more to do that I can easily screw up and truly just generates more of a mess to take care of when I can’t keep track of everything else. I seriously don’t know any mom that doesn’t cry over burnt food or spilled milk. Those are the moms I choose to spend my time with because I know that they are good moms who struggle just like me. Rough moments, days will come but look back at the joy in the picture you linked up with Galit & Alison and know that your families smiles are there because of all you do for them as a wife and mommy. Much love, xoxo!
    Kristen recently posted..A Rough Road Begins to Smooth Out…My Profile

  8. Angie says

    I am impressed that you make your hubby breakfast! It is ok to cry over burnt eggs or spilled milk – sometimes it just helps clear room for more patience to get through the rest of the day

  9. says

    Boy ol boy do I have many burnt egg moments! I get so angry at myself about the, but just like you said it comes from doing too many things at one time! Please know you are not alone and if you gotta cry, well let the waterworks begin!

  10. says

    I do wish the rest of life could be fixed as easily as the burnt eggs. I think, though, that everyone feels they aren’t enough and can’t keep up. I know I do, anyway. Hang in there, Shell. You aren’t alone. You don’t have to be Superwoman. Take life one step at a time and don’t worry about what doesn’t get done.
    Karen Greenberg recently posted..P is for ParentsMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I could never be Superwoman, so I’m glad I don’t have to be… but I’d like to have more things under control.

  11. says

    You are trying to do so much for everyone in your family. Are you doing anything for you?

    Is there anyone that can help share the shuttling at least once a week, so you can maybe get some time for yourself. Isn’t your mother-in-law close? Just having one day of not having to run around might help. Hang in there!
    Kmama recently posted..Rockin’ Monster JamMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I’m counting down the days til Blissdom, when I can just relax and not have anything that I have to do. Good thing I have a roommate or I’d probably get there and sleep the entire trip.

      My mil will help out when there are appointments and I need her to watch 1 or 2 of the kids while I go. And she’s watched them other times, too. But, she hasn’t really been offering very much lately and I feel like I’m bugging her when I ask. So, I don’t unless I absolutely have to.

  12. says

    Ugh, that is a terrible feeling. Just feeling like you are spinning your wheels and not making any progress. I’m sorry things have been so rough lately. And I’d venture that most of the other Moms you know, especially those that stay at home, feel the same way.
    Caitlin {Pacifier In My Pocket} recently posted..Goals for 2012My Profile

    • Shell says

      It’s not usually this bad. Just a lot going on right now, making all the little things seem so much bigger.

  13. says

    Sometimes you just have to cry it out. But it’s kind of like blogging in that way — once it’s out of you, out of your system, it clears your head and helps you refocus. I know it doesn’t solve the problems, but I find crying it out to be very therapeutic.

    (But seriously, cooking eggs on a school day? I’m impressed!)
    Lady Lazarus recently posted..the write way to say goodbyeMy Profile

    • Shell says

      Very therapeutic.

      Y’all are cracking me up with the egg comments. Scrambling an egg really doesn’t take that long. LOL

  14. says

    Oh I know that feeling so well, just spinning your wheels and always feeling like you are moving from one mess to another. And I agree with previous comments, eggs on a school day is a major accomplishment. Sending hugs Shell.
    Jessica recently posted..All I HaveMy Profile

    • Shell says

      If I could feel like I was getting anywhere with anything, it would be a boost. Just wheel-spinning now.

  15. says

    It’s always the little things that seem to be fixable that end up being the ones that make you cry. Hugs, you seem to be doing a great job and everyone is right attempting eggs on a school day is a huge accomplishment.
    Julia recently posted..No Sugar AddedMy Profile

  16. says

    I wish I could give you a big hug right now. Sometimes it’s the littlest things that push you right over the edge.

    All I can do is pray that things settle down for you soon. One of the only wise things my brother ever said to me was: “Life is full of peaks and valleys. Right now you’re in a valley but soon you’ll hit another peak”.
    Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Wellness Wednesday: Slipping Up & Righting MyselfMy Profile

  17. says

    Oh, Shell, I so know. It stinks when you feel slammed. Stupid eggs!

    Hugs to you, mama, you are doing all you can do and then some. You will keep at it and be strong and do your best for yourself, your kids and your whole smiley. (that was supposed to say family, but it typod to smiley, Hee Hee!).
    Andrea recently posted..Night Swim ~ Book ReviewMy Profile

  18. says

    I hear you, dear lady.

    I have cried over many a burned meal.

    And I hate that the kids are the ones to have to shout MOM! Something’s burning.

    love and hugs to you.
    Alexandra recently posted..Sprocket InkMy Profile

  19. says

    I’ve done this so many times. When I feel so overwhelmed by life and evrything is out of (my) control, the smallest thing will set me off. I usually pour myself a giant glass of wine, put on my favorite chick flicks and have myself a big, good, old-fashioned cry.. Sometimes it helps..

  20. says

    Oh Shell. You ARE doing enough. You’re giving everything you have, and it’s enough. It will come together. And cry over those eggs, girl. Sometimes getting the tears out helps more than anything. xo

  21. says

    I can relate to this…I seem to cry over those little things like “spoiled milk” and “burnt eggs”. Yet, I just push my way through the harder things.
    Oka recently posted..Prayer RequestMy Profile

  22. says

    Life is so damn hard sometimes. You know what I do on Fridays without fail? From 5-7pm, the husband takes charge of the kids (usually it’s just the toddler and the older boys are outside) and I close our bedroom door, lie on the bed and read. Usually this turns into a nap. Everyone knows not to bother me. It’s the one day a week I look forward to. Can you do something like this? Simple yet so very effective.
    Pamela Gold recently posted..Three-3-Tres-TroisMy Profile

  23. says

    Those damned eggs. Ought to fry themselves up. :) Hugs. Seriously, though, I’m fighting the ‘find a decent school that will help’ battle for my son. Next year, it’s moot, because our town has an affordable school for kids on the spectrum once they turn five. Up until five, it’s throw your hat in the ring and pray. Which works out about as well as a Shirley Jackson lottery.
    Jessie Powell recently posted..At the Museum CenterMy Profile

    • Shell says

      Thank you, sweet friend! I was having problems commenting on your site earlier- hope your mama has a wonderful birthday!

  24. says

    Oh gosh, I so get this. It’s like the ONE thing you figure you got a handle on and then you burn the damn things. It’s like the last straw and you just can’t help the tears from flowing.

    It’s moments like that where I have to really step back, breathe deeply and slowly and take things one at a time. Baby steps. What can I fix first and go from there.

    But sometimes it would just be easier if we had a “do over” button.

    Hang in there, my friend. You’re doing the best you can.

  25. says

    Oh Shell,
    Thank you so much for pouring your heart out about this. So many of us Moms can relate to this. This motherhood gig is so hard. We pull and stretch ourselves so extremely thin sometimes.
    Know what helps me…taking a mom time out…I know you’re probably shaking your head thinking “Woman did you not just read the above?? I’ve got too much to do”…but seriously take a moment for you. A long bath. Read a book. Go for coffee. Regroup your soul then tackle.
    You can do this friend.
    Fuck the eggs. Husband can make his own :)
    PS. Once on a bad day I got into the bathroom and locked myself in. Well, the bathroom didn’t have my tampons and I had no toilet paper…and because I had locked myself in, my toddler couldn’t rescue me with a box of tissues. I sat there for a good 15 minutes crying.
    xoxo
    Kimberly recently posted..I’m A Pretty Big Thing In H-TownMy Profile

    • Shell says

      I’m trying to take those moments.

      A bath, a book, lock myself in the bathroom… even just going to bed at a decent hour instead of staying up forever like I usually do.

  26. says

    this is exactly how I feel lately. Like I am just moving from one thing to another without really “LIVING”. THe past few weeks have been so overwhelming to me and I have cried too..and just given up, grabbed a blanket and pushed all the “stuff” to the edge of the bed, couch, my mind etc. I just can’t cope right now. So I do get this…and I’m so sorry you’re here and feeling it too.

    sending lots of hugs
    xoxo
    Kir recently posted..Capturing 4My Profile

    • Shell says

      I’m so sorry you are feeling this way, too.

      Counting down towards the break that Blissdom will be has been helping me. I can’t wait to see you. xo

  27. says

    I know, I know – it’s the little things that set all the deeper things off. I can totally relate to this. I do hope you can get your little guy in a good school that meets his needs soon. One less thing off the plate.
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Prayer. And Humor.My Profile

    • Shell says

      If I can get that taken care of, it will definitely be the biggest weight off. We made strides in that today.

  28. says

    I’m sorry, I choked when I reading you were making your husband eggs in the morning. I’d cry too!

    Seriously though, we’ve all been there – when something small sends us over the edge. We are on a treadmill that never quits. But remember: the days are long but the years are short.
    Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. recently posted..Albums that define my life.My Profile

  29. says

    wow, you make your hubs breakfast? good wife!
    and babe, my mornings are always so stressful, I yell, I threaten, I speak through gritted teeth…
    and this morning Hope complained about not wanting to go to school, and already exhausted at 825, I agreed and took her to MOPS with me and Brooke…
    sometimes it’s not worth the fight…
    Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..Cousin Love-Memories CapturedMy Profile

  30. says

    Did you throw the pan a little. I always throw to the back of the stove when I realize I’ve burnt something. Like today at lunch, when I ran home from work to get stuff ready for dinner and found a grumpy husband, a whining baby, a screaming toddler who got yelled at by her dad and a grandmother who looked like she wanted to start drinking. And so i burned the vegetables for the pot pie. So, I get it. And it sucks.
    I hope it all gets better or that you at least get to take a breath and have some good eggs.
    Krista recently posted..When it’s not all puppies & sunshineMy Profile

  31. says

    Awww, hunny. *HUGS* You could use some today. I wish I could offer some words to console you, but some days just suck something awful. I hope tomorrow is better. Just remember that you are doing ALL that you can. I hope you can find some comfort in that.

    XOXO
    Charlotte recently posted..an open letter to “Alex”My Profile

  32. says

    I have 4 kids and have cried over eggs. But I cried because our eggs come from the store with chicken shit and eggs on them….(I live in Africa, did I mention that) so before I do anything with the eggs I have to wash the mama chicken’s shit and feathers off of it. I hope that made you feel better. It made me feel better to vent. I feel your pain on being pulled in all different directions!

  33. says

    Know when I cried yesterday? After I tried to open the milk and the cap came off to quickly and then there was milk all over the fridge and floor and OMG STOP THE MESS!

    yeah.

    That shit was fun.

    I hope you find some time to rejuvenate your brain, momma. You Time.
    MommaKiss recently posted..January 17.My Profile

  34. says

    Oh…I’ve burnt the eggs before. Many times. Hey , it happens! I get overwhelmed, too…quite often. I just never write about it or talk about it because…. well, when a mom of two or three kids complains about being overwhelmed they get sympathy and understanding nods their way, but when a mom of nine or more complains about that very same thing they get looks or comments that say “Well maybe you shouldn’t have had so many….” and that’s why whenever I get overwhelmed or feel like I”m running in nine different directions and can’t keep up no one ever hears about it so everyone just assumes that I’m SuperMom and that I must have it “all together” or that I’m very organized. When really, I’m not. I’m pretty much just like all the rest of the moms out there who get stressed out and overwhelmed sometimes. And it’s okay for me to feel that way, too.
    Katrina recently posted..Birds fly. Fish swim.My Profile

    • Shell says

      Oh, that really stinks that you would get that reaction. I just assume that we all have it hard. No matter how many kids we have, we all have our struggles. xo

      • Shell says

        It really doesn’t ever seem like enough.

        We have an IEP meeting at the school this week and should hopefully be enrolling my son there soon… I have my fingers crossed that this will help. I need to feel like something is being done for my son- that will take a huge burden off of me.

  35. says

    Oh Shell, sometimes it’s those little things that push us over- for me yesterday it was suds in my teacup …after my tea had seeped and I had added honey & milk! I just try to take each little success for that, a success, one day at a time, right? It’s all we can do!
    Jackie recently posted..Hazard Zet ForwardMy Profile

  36. says

    There’s nothing wrong with needing a break! You’ve had a rough couple of weeks. It’s ok to need a good cry but what matters is that you can pick up the broken pieces and start mending your heart.
    Missy recently posted..Menu Planning MondayMy Profile

  37. says

    I feel this way many a day. Somedays I have so much to do that I just sit and do nothing, paralyzed and overwhelmed by my to do list. I wonder now what I did with all the time I had before I was married or had a baby.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Oh, I Would Never…My Profile

  38. says

    Dear Shell, your new year sounds like how mine is going, a rough beginning. You’re not alone in this. Sometimes it’s miserable feeling like you’re always a step behind, doesn’t it? Yet we get up, shake ourselves off and journey on. Again and again. Just like what you’ve said about the eggs. We’re down to four pots only now because when I burn things, I throw the whole pot away. LOL. You’re doing a great job with your family. Thank you.
    Sela Toki recently posted..TerrifiedMy Profile

  39. says

    big hugs! I am right there with you. I tried to wake up early and fix breakfast for my husband’s birthday. Needless to say, the newborn was crying and the toddler was fussing and his breakfast ended up in the trash and we ate toast. I cried too.
    Barbara recently posted..Love EqualityMy Profile

  40. says

    You are the typical mom, being so hard on yourself. You are trying to be everything and you really are everything to your kids. Will they remember the burnt eggs? Probably not, but they WILL remember how much you loved them, how you always wanted the best for them and how you drove yourself crazy/ragged trying to do so. They will always know that their mom was their biggest fan. don’t be so hard on yourself….there’s more eggs in the fridge ;)
    Debra recently posted..10 Things I Love About MotherhoodMy Profile

  41. says

    I spent last weekend in my best friends house with four kids. I understand this post so much more today than I would have a week ago. Kids are a lot of work! I was amazed at how my friend was able to hear everything that was going on around us, stay on track with our conversation, and fix dinner. It sure didn’t look easy.
    Jen Has A Pen recently posted..Power Rangers and Barbies and Candyland, Oh My!My Profile

  42. says

    I cried over burnt Hamburger Helper the other day. Cried because A) I was having to cook Hamburger Helper because I haven’t had time to fix a decent meal in weeks; and B) because I burnt the stupid stuff trying to take the little guy to go potty while the husband was showering because he shoveled the foot of snow off the drive while I worked. Hang in there girl. I totally know where you’re coming from. Wine party? ;)
    Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Feature Friday | Proudest Parenting MomentsMy Profile

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